My Little Hairy Butt'

By Gina Mae Callen

Humor / Horror

My Little Hairy Butt'

Tony walked into the house and slumped on the sofa.

"What's wrong Hun?" Gibbs asked walking over and giving him a kiss.

"Nothing." Tony pouted and turned away from him.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow and looked over at his lover. They had been married for a year and although only Ducky, Abby and Fornell knew, they had managed to keep their relationship a secret from the others at work and Vance.

After a year, Gibbs knew his husband well enough to know when he was hiding something.

"Tony?" he pressed. Tony stood up and walked from the couch to stare at the fire.

"Ziva!" He sighed, "She rated my butt a 2 out of 5 …That's lower than McGee's. She said I had excessive hair."

The pout got bigger and Gibbs had trouble disguising his grin.

He walked up behind Tony and hugged him, "My poor baby." He sniggered.

"Do….do you agree with her?" Tony asked.

"Of course not Hun," Gibbs kissed him on the temple and walked into the kitchen. "But it is a bit hairy." He said as a parting shot laughing to himself.

Tony grabbed his bag and stormed upstairs. "That's what I thought… You agree with her!" He snarked.

He dropped his bag on their bed and sat down. Opening the small bag, he had picked up from the pharmacist he pulled out a box. He looked down and read the box, "Hair Removal crème for men!" it said.

"This'll show him!" He said under his breath. Then he called downstairs, "I'm having a shower Jet, call me when dinner's ready."

"Ok love!" Gibbs called back upstairs.


Hearing his husband working in the kitchen Tony sat down and got on with his task,

He opened his laptop and checked the reviews for the hair removal crème online.

He smiled to himself, "Ooh, 5 stars….this product looks good!"

He decided the rating itself would be enough and did not read the reviews. He had used other hair removal crèmes before on his chest and legs 'how bad can it be?' he thought to himself.

He started gently applying the crème thoroughly coating his cock and balls and putting a generous amount on his ass.

Looking at his endeavors he felt quiet pleased with himself knowing that Jet would love the surprise when he finally got him in bed that night.

He started the shower up and decided as he had five minutes according to the packaging he should shave first as he really couldn't sit down.


Halfway through shaving his face the pain started.


First, it was a warm, tingling sensation in his groin, which rapidly escalated to a sharp pain akin to standing next to a volcano and watching his skin melt off.

Gibbs downstairs was working on the pasta when he heard a chilling scream.

He grabbed his gun and ran upstairs as fast as he could. However, nothing could prepare him for the site that greeted him.

"What the Hell!" he yelled crashing in the bathroom to find his husband on his back on the bathroom floor in a fetal position crying and screaming like a baby with the showerhead at full blast aimed at his butt and genitals.

"Jet…..Help me!" He whimpered.

"What. Did. You. Do.!" Gibbs asked looking at him.

"HAIR REMOVAL CREAM!" He cried.

Gibbs leaned against the wall tears of laughter falling steadily down his face, although he was concerned he picked his phone up.

"Who are you calling?" Tony cried desperately trying to catch his breath.

"Paramedics" Gibbs said dialing 911.

"NO!" Tony screamed at a higher pitch than Gibbs had ever thought possible.

"But, baby….you need help." Gibbs pleaded.

"D….Ducky…" Tony croaked, reaching up and turning the dial on the shower to freezing.

Flipping the cell phone open again he dialed Ducky's' number and quickly filled him in on the situation.

"He's coming…..Tony, why did you do it?" Gibbs had to ask.

"Ziva said I had a hairy butt and you agreed!" Gibbs climbed behind Tony and held him as Tony sobbed with the excruciating pain that was throbbing from his genitals.

"GIBBS? DINUTSO?" A voice called upstairs.

"I do believe that they are in the bathroom." Another voice replied.

"Tone….baby…Ducky's here." Gibbs said gently as Tony was barely coherent and whimpering.


"This isn't working!" Tony screamed he jumped up and half waddled and half ran naked down the stairs heading for the freezer and the prize of the ice cubes held within.

He looked up as both Ducky and Fornell came further into the house.

"Oh my goodness!" Ducky exclaimed at the sight in front of him as Tony ran past, arms and legs at an odd angle, naked, with Gibbs half running and half laughing behind him carrying a towel.

"What happened?" Fornell smirked looking at his two best friends.

Gibbs filled him in and although every man in the room was secretly pulling their testicles into their bodies in sympathy, they were all silently shaking in laughter.

Ducky wiped the smile off his face "I'm sorry Anthony, but you are going to have to go to the hospital. You need to be seen in the burns unit."

"Nooooooooo Please!" Tony wailed.

"Don't worry DiNutso; your secret is safe with us." Fornell smirked.

"Who….called….you?" Tony ground out through his teeth

"Dispatch. A dropped 911 call was made from here." Fornell explained.

"Ducky….stop the pain!" Tony pleaded his eyes rolling back into his head.

Fornell lent against the wall, holding a piece of paper in his hands… "You do realize it says here not to be used on any sensitive areas?" He said grinned like a lunatic.

"But the reviews gave it 5 stars!" Tony half screamed while Ducky applied some anti burn ointment.

Fornell walked over and opened the computer and looked at the reviews and doubled over in laughter…

"OH MY GOD!" he exclaimed tears rolling down his face. "This has happened to hundreds of men!" he laughed as he read some of the descriptions men had left as to the sorry state the hair removal crème had left their burned, bloodied and napalmed manhood in.

Even Gibbs sniggered as he read some of these. "Oh Baby, what were you thinking?"

"Jet!" Tony wailed. "I just wanted to be a five!"

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Gina Mae Callen
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

jamesongilian1: so hot 🔥🔥🔥😍😍😍🌋

Wickedpen: My goodness! This story has me on my toes. Wonderfully written and I don't know what will happen in the future, making me wait for the next update~! If only I could write as great as you🎵! No, but seriously you are an amazing author with amazing stories. It excites me knowing that your stories wi...

ujunwaumeh26: I hope you update soon

Morgan boyd: ok i stayed up until 2:30 am to finish this book and this is how you’re going to end it? i need a second boom effective immediately. you also get three stars for the plot because of how you ended it.

Brenda Awuor: It’s funny and amazing xx

Pádraig Dempsey: Credit to the author. It was a pleasure to read. A story so simply put and everything ties up nicely. I'm almost sad I read the whole thing so quick.

Rhiannon Desouza: Very interesting & informative & a lovely love story

Ndibo Zwebathu: I love the plot and the characters..Keep it up!!!

More Recommendations

gracie18: Freaking love this book! It had a great combination of humor and romance. I love the guys I find them so funny! 100% recommend this book

BookWorm04: Loved it!!!❤️❤️

Emma Redden: Please update

absolutely noona: It's amazingly beautiful! Keep it up and please update as fast as you can, I am not pushing!

danak1828: Good girl goes through messed up family stuff meets bad boy rocker who actually finds his heart. Pretty cool. Would be nice if things actually turned out that awesome. Maybe if there's a London & Blake story (part two)?

briannawilliams456: I like this book I was looking for a book like this on wattpad but it didn't give the book I want plus sometimes wattpad keep on messing up orbit will froze up so I like this app don't go to wattpad because they will cheat you out your money

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.