All these dying days

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The only thought running through his brain right now was run.

Everything would be ok if only he could just get away and run.

This was rapidly being replaced by a need stronger than anything, he needed a hit, he needed to just check out for a few hours, he needed peace.

The only place he could think to go was Jimmy's corner and he was relieved to find Jimmy as usual standing there waiting for someone to score from him.

Callen walked up behind him, "Hey, Jimmy."

"Oh my God, Alec are you ok, you look like crap man? I got hauled in by the cops they're looking for you." He said concerned Jimmy still figured Alec was a good guy at heart and really liked him.

"I need..." Callen collapsed against the wall just trying to get his breath back

"I know mate," Jimmy just said and readily gave him a supply of Heroin.

Callen looked at it and let the feeling of relief wash through him.



At the hospital Nell was going out of her mind with worry.

Nate was talking to the doctors, whilst Hetty called Eric and got him to use the hospital security camera's to follow Callen to see where he had gone.

"We've got him leaving the grounds and have been following him the last camera he was seen on was an ATM at Chase bank on Manhattan drive; I've sent the updates to Sam and Kensi so they can intercept him." Eric told her.

"Very good Mr. Beale," Hetty said.



Jimmy helped Callen up just as two cars pulled up.

"Alec, Cops!" Jimmy yelled noticing the badges on the four people who had just climbed out of the car.

Callen broke into a run as Sam and Kensi went in one direction and Deeks and Renko went another way to try and cut him off.

He ran down a dead-end alley, and in a move reminiscent of his teenage years, he climbed up the drainpipe and hauled himself onto the roof of the warehouse he was standing beside.

All four of them met up at the back of the alley.

"Damn!" Sam snapped, "Where the Hell is he?"


Callen watched them for a moment before settling back on the roof of the warehouse they were standing in front of.

He just needed time and he wished they would leave him alone to sort it out.

He tied the tourniquet around his arm and shot up. He felt the burn and then the peaceful release as he had those few moments to think.


"Eric?" Sam said as he heard Eric swear in his earwig

"I've got him, He's on the roof of the warehouse you're outside, but he's just shot up."Eric said "I've alerted the paramedics to come in silently in case you need them.

"No!" Kensi said under her breath, not wanting to believe that Callen would willingly take drugs.

"I'll call Nate," Sam said, "G's not going anywhere and I need to talk to him before we do anything."

Nate took the call and advised them to take it slowly and when they had him, to take him to the boathouse as that was more secure than the hospital as he was out of immediate danger.

Making sure Eric knew of the revised plans Sam headed into the warehouse. He walked out of the door on the roof of the warehouse to find G sitting in the corner of the roof, with a gun in his hand.

"G?" he said.

Callen looked at him with a look that was so empty and destroyed that Sam hoped that he would never have to see on another human being ever.

"I'm Sorry." Callen said

"For what!" Sam said annoyed and then backed off as Callen flinched.

"They say...you're my friend...but...I shot you." Callen picked the gun up and took the safety off and turned it towards himself. "I can't do this anymore."

"G, WAIT!" Sam didn't dare move.

A few seconds passed in silence, Sam felt like it was an eternity, all the while knowing Eric was watching and he didn't want these to be Callen's last moments and he definitely didn't want them on the screen at ops.

"Why?" Callen asked simply.

"You have a life, a good one; you have loads to live for." Sam breathed a bit easier as he saw Deeks creeping up behind Callen.

"No I don't." Callen said, his voice sounding utterly defeated, and went to pull the trigger.

Just as Deeks hit him round the back of the head with the gun knocking him out cold.

Sam collapsed to his knees thankful to whatever God was out there that Deeks had gotten to him in time.

"Thanks" Sam said "You know if G remembers this he may kill you."

Deeks let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding and laughed, "Come on Sam, Let's take him home." Deeks replied.



At the boathouse Nell, Sam and the rest of the team sat around a desk waiting whilst Nate checked on G who was still unconscious and restrained on a bed in the interrogation room.

Nate walked up and they all turned to him.

"I've administered the Buprenorphine and his head is just bruised "Nate said calmly "When he wakes up I'll start talking to him again, this time he is not to be left alone."

"Nell, he remembered you first maybe you should be with him when he wakes up." Hetty said.

Nell smiled for what everyone realised was the first time since Callen had gone missing, and went in to sit by his bed.

"Am I missing something? " Deeks asked

"Always," Kensi replied but didn't elaborate on it. She just smiled and went to get some coffee, "Come on Deeks we'll do the coffee and doughnut run." And they headed out.

Sam looked at Hetty and Nate and took a deep breath. "Are we ever gonna get him back?" He asked somewhat fearful of the answer.

"It looks hopeful, Callen just needs to sort out what he remembers that is real and what he was told that is fake. " Nate paused, "I'm just not sure how long it will take as we can't give him memories of his family and his life as we don't have that much to go on."

In the interrogation room on a hospital bed Hetty had had installed, Callen stirred and Nell sat up beside him and held his hand.

"I know you." Callen said

Nell smiled, her face lit up and she let out a small sob. "You do," She replied hopefully.

"Nell...Your name is Nell and you're important." He said simply

Nell smiled "Yes Callen." She stroked his face as he fell asleep again.


In the other room Nate looked at Hetty and Sam, "Is there something going on I should know about." He asked.

"Mr. Callen and Miss Jones have been involved in a relationship for about a year prior to his going missing." Hetty stated.

"What!" Sam was incredulous "No way. I would have known."

"When I talked to Miss Jones, just after he went missing, she told me that Mr. Callen hadn't wanted to let anyone know so as not to affect team dynamics and I was quite happy about that." Hetty replied.

"Not to affect team dynamics...! " Sam almost laughed. "We would have been happy for him."

"I know Mr. Hanna, but given Mr. Callen's past maybe you can understand that he had something good and apparently in his words he didn't want to 'jinx' it".

Sam nodded smiling he could understand that.

He turned to watch G and Nell on the monitor. Now he could see it in the way she was with him, but he berated himself, he was a trained professional and should be able to spot things like that. He decided when G got better he was gonna kick his ass.

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