Phoenix' transformation

Who I really am

New chapter is here, I'm sorry it took me so long. Thank you for all your support, it really makes me go on!

Warning- brief mention of self destruction.

Regina, still in shock, drove too fast for her usual liking wanting to arrive to baseball court as soon as possible. She rewind the talk with Gold for what it seemed was 100th time. Her heart and soul started to ache in very familiar way, the way she felt before Henry arrived. She hated that feeling, that mix of hurt, betrayal and pure rage.

As she parked the car, she exited it immediately, leaving it running as she attended to be back very quick. She spotted familiar blonde curls on the bleachers and she stored towards Emma.

''You liar!'' she yelled and successfully startled Emma who jumped at the sound of rage coming from Regina's mouth

''What?!'' Emma asked hoping that Lo didn't tell her anything

''Don't you what me!'' yelled Regina again, but this time she waved the papers in front of Emma's face as the blonde walked up to her ''You want to take away my son!'' she screamed ''I will never allow it! You don't know what I'm capable of!'

''Regina, please...'' pleaded Emma, but Regina turned on her heels and moved towards her car

''You promised!'' Emma this time yelled

That made Regina froze in spot and turn around to face Emma.

''You promised, just yesterday.'' Emma said again ''You promised you'll listen to what I have to say. I've been trying to tell you for weeks that Henry's my son...''

''He's my son!'' Regina cut in

''Yes, he is.'' confirmed Emma ''He's yours and he'll always be yours, but I just wanted to see him.''

''So you came here and seduced me so you can spend time with him!'' Regina accused

''No!'' Emma said immediately ''I never thought I'd stay more then few days, I never thought I'd fell in love with you. I just wanted to see him once more...''

''How can I know you're not lying?'' asked Regina, her emotions split by anger and love she felt towards the blonde

''Except for this, I never lied to you.'' she replied '' I love watermelons, I love wearing leather jackets, I don't have parents and I was kicked out of every foster home I've ever been in, I love the way you smile when we're alone or with Henry and I do really hate mornings. Everything you know about me is the truth, you never knew why I came here in the first place.''

''I...don't know...''she paused ''I know I promised and I want to keep it, but I need a little time to think.''

''Regina, I need to tell you one more thing.'' Emma started as Regina turned around and started to walk to her car

''One more thing?'' asked Regina shocked ''Is it worse than this?!''

Emma seeing Regina's reaction replied quietly ''For you?'' she paused ''No, it's not worse news for you. This was the worst I had for you.''

''Good.'' replied Regina, entered her car and drove off. Just as she exited the parking lot, tears she didn't want to shed in front of Emma, started to fall down her cheeks as she sobbed loudly.

Emma entered her and Mary Margaret's apartment angry at herself for hurting woman she loved, for screwing up once again. She just couldn't get it right, she couldn't make a right decision even if one hit her in the face.

She walked towards the liquor cabinet and grabbed the brand new bottle of tequila and took a swing. After she felt the buzz kicking her hard she made her way towards her bedroom, where she threw herself on the bed and sighed deeply. She hadn't felt so bad in very long time and as she took one more gulp of tequila she made her way to bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and took out the medicine her doctor gave her for her heart, she looked at the bottle for a minute or two. She wondered how stupid it was even to take them, to prolong this shit? Whatever for? Well, for Regina and Henry. But as it was very clear she lost them, she felt her courage take over her as she opened the bottle and threw away all the pills in the toilet. She flushed the water and grabbed her new-old best friend and took another gulp of it.

Regina lied wide awake in her bed looking at the empty side of her bed. She remembered Emma and how she looked like sleeping next to her, how she had the softest hair Regina ever touched. She was so ripped apart- she never allowed herself to love a person , she never allowed herself to feel anything towards anyone but Henry.

Of course, being her luck, when she fell in love it turned out that the person who she thought she loved wasn't that person at all. She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping the sleep would come over her soon.

''How did your evening went?'' asked Lo cautiously as Regina changed her clothes

''Not well.'' responded Regina ''She lied to me, you wouldn't believe it.'' she paused as she pressed her forehead on the locker

''She's Henry's mom, I know.'' Lo said

''You know?! Since when?'' yelled Regina

''Don't yell at me.'' said Lo in firm voice ''She told me yesterday, she said she'd tell you everything yesterday evening.''

''You should have told me!'' Regina insisted ''I would be prepared to confront her.''

''Confront her?'' asked Lo ''Out of all the people I though you would understand why she came here.''

''Why would I understand it? I would never leave my child at the first place and I'd certainly wouldn't lie to adoptive mother about who I am!''

Before Lo could respond, nurse came bursting in the room ''Dr Mills! We need you in room 5, Mrs. Barker is collapsing.''

With that Regina ran away towards room 5 and from there to OR.

Two hours later she found herself walking down the corridors and spotted Kathryn. She walked towards her friend who was sipping her coffee and smiled at her when she saw her coming by.

''Hi, Regina.'' she smiled

''Hello, dear.'' Regina smiled as she sat next to her ''How are you?''

''I can't wait to get home.'' blonde smiled

''You'll be home in no time, few more therapy sessions and you're out of here.'' Regina smiled brightly

''I never thanked you for...''

''Don't thank me for doing my job.'' Regina cut in ''Besides, you're my friend, I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you.''

''Well, thank you anyway.'' smiled Kathryn ''Have you seen David?''

Regina saw David plenty of times and every time in the company of Mary Margaret. After years in coma David Nolan woke up, but with amnesia and couldn't remember his wife and their life before. Regina could relate to that, but could never understand why would David choose that mouse like school teacher over Kathryn. Which was worse, Kathryn didn't have a clue about it.

''I saw him few times in the town, while he was working.'' smiled Regina

''That man is always working.'' smiled blonde ''I miss him.''

''I know, I know.'' Regina took her hand and squeezed gently

''Emma?'' called MM as she entered their apartment ''Emma? Are you here?''

Getting no answer she walked towards Emma's room. It was a week since Regina and Emma part ways on parking lot and Mary Margaret saw clearly how much Emma was self destructive. She hardly ate or drink anything but some hard liquor, she slept two or three hours a night and even though Emma said to leave it alone- Mary Margaret was certain that she saw few bloody stripes down blonde's arms. She never understood why would someone harm themselves, but then again she never was in a position Emma was. She even talked to Ruby who swore she hadn't seen Sheriff in diner for a week, Emma was turning into a ghost, concluded Mary Margaret.

''Emma?'' she called as she knocked on Emma's room. When she didn't get any answer she enter the room and spotted a body on the floor next to the bed

''Emmaaa! she shirked and hurried towards the blonde. She turned her on her back and check for pulse, it was there but very weak.

''Emma, stay with me! Stay with me!'' she called to unconscious blonde as she grabbed her mobile phone from her pocket and dialled hospital's emergency room.

''Emergency, how can we help you?'' asked operator

Regina was walking down the corridor of the hospital, on her way to home, when she heard an ambulance pulling in and saw doors open with new patience coming in. Whale was already there and she was still far enough not to see who was on the stretchers, but then Whale yelled those terrible words and Regina's world stopped

''Code Red! Sheriff down!'' Regina dropped the purse she was holding and sprinted to Emma

''What happened?!'' she yelled

''Regina, you can't be here.'' Whale said as they moved Emma in the Emergency room and hooking her on various machines.

''Why?'' demanded Regina

''Because we all know you're dating her! It's not ethical!'' yelled Whale ''Miss Blanchard, what happened?''

''I found her on the floor of her bedroom.'' said MM ''She didn't sleep in a week, nor did she eat. She was depressed and I don't know whether she took her pills.''

''Her pills?'' Regina asked

''Yes, she has a heart defect.'' said MM ''She's dying.''

Regina's initial shock was interrupted by terrible sound of machine which signalised that Emma's heart stopped beating.

''No!'' Regina yelled ''Get me a 5...''

''No!'' Whale commanded ''Regina, get out, I mean it. She's not your patient.'' after Regina hadn't moved an inch he yelled ''Now!''

Regina walked out of the room, MM right after her, leaving Whale and hoping he would save Emma.

''Regina?'' Lo called as she ran to her ''Is she okay?''

''I don't know.'' said Regina spacing out ''Why didn't she tell me?'' she asked remembering Emma's pale face and blue lips.

''She didn't tell you?'' asked Lo

''You knew about that as well?'' Regina turned to Lo

''She said she would tell you that evening. Why she didn't I don't know.''

''Because I never gave her a chance.'' Regina said breaking down in loud sobs. Lo moved to Regina and embraced her and kissed her forehead as she tried to comfort her. After few minutes sobbing stopped, but still Regina hadn't said a thing.

''Regina?'' called Whale as he entered the waiting room

Regina sprung out of her seat, her eyes red and puffy from crying. ''Is she okay?''

''She is stable, she hadn't been taking her medicine in at least 6 days and her heart couldn't deal with it. She'll recover from this, but I looked in her medical record and she doesn't have much time. With this medication, two months tops, I left her medical record for you in her room, hearts are after all you're speciality. I'm sorry Regina.'' with that he walked away

''Lo, would you please pick up Henry? He's at Sean's place, they had a play date.''

''Sure, I'll take him home with me.''

''Thank you.'' said Regina and went to Emma's room.

Blonde was pale as bleach and she looked more dead then alive. Regina's tears once again ran down her cheeks as she sat on the bed next to Emma.

''I am so sorry, Emma.'' she said ''I never let you finish and I am so sorry. I understand why you wanted to see Henry and I'm sorry for thinking the worst.''

''Regina...'' slowly the pale lips said

''I'm here Emma, I'm here.'' she squeezed her hand gently.

''I love you, I'm sorry I hadn't tell you at the beginning.'' said Emma quietly

''It's okay, I'm sorry for everything as well. I love you too, so much.'' she smiled

''Okay, I'm a little sleepy...'' trailed Emma

''Sleep, baby.'' said Regina as Emma fell asleep again ''I love you, Emma.'' she said and kissed Emma slowly on the lips. when she kissed Emma a spark ran through her body and mind freezing her as memories of her life came back to her.

Regina jumped back, but still holding Emma's hand. The curse! Rumple!

Well, this is it for this chapter. Please review and make my day!

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