Well hello everyone :D I'm feel so honoured. Your reviews and subscriptions are amazing, you really do keep me going
Kelly Eisenhower- true, people do prefer some way of writing, but as I explained...it feels more intimate to write in second person. I'm sorry if you don't like it.
Karrottop - I must admit I haven't decided what will be Harry's fate here, I'll see in which direction this story will be going. Yes, I really don like Ron, so there'll be a lot of bashing XD
yamiperv - I'm glad you found some parts funny :) I'll do my civil duty and tell you that it's wrong to read ff during the class. But please do ignore me, I know how it is, I do it too ;) I already pictured a scene in which Ron will be hexed XD I just need to put it in the story somewhere XD
greeneleka - it's the way in love/obsession relationship, you have to gave up a bit of yourself to get what you want ;)
''Love that is not madness, is not love.''
Pedro Calderon de la Barca
School finished a week ago. I promised Harry I'll write when we said goodbye. I know his situation at his uncle's house and I knew he always needed a real friend to lean on. That friend was always me, but am I still? I've dreamt about him last night- he was asking me why I betrayed him. Was I betraying him? Why would I be doing it? I never came up with a good reason, but let's be honest. I never betrayed him in the end, or did I? What is betrayal? Is it abandoning your goal? Your friends? Your lover? Your family? I guess I really did betray them all in a way...
I finished my letter, it was formal but it was the best thing I could have come up with. I'm being there for him I was telling myself, I'm being a good friend. But in the moment I managed to convince my mind I wasn't betraying him completely, my thoughts ran to you. Bitter taste of life came back.
You came that night. I was sitting at back porch of my house. That house was actually capable of being warm without my parents coldness. They were always doctors who had better things to do then taking care of their only daughter. When they found out I was a witch, they haven't had any reaction. They seemed pleased that I'll be gone for the bigger part of the year, though. I hoped they would be freaked out or throwing me out, but I got cold nodding of a head. ''You know the rules Hermione. I'm sure you'll be able to handle everything at that school.'' I remembered my dads words.
I would never be able to be so cold towards my kids. I admit I thought about kids few times in past, but I never had any vivid image of them in my head. Now, now I could picture little girl. I dreamt of her, little girl with black, curly hair and my brown eyes. She stood proud with your smirk and wickedness, but gentle care in her eyes. A perfect mixture of us.
So lost in my thoughts I never heard you approach. You put your hands on my shoulders as if you're trying to let me know you're here for my needs. I put my hands on yours.
''You came'' I whispered
''I've told you I would.'' you simply said ''What's on your mind?''
Why don't people know you like this? There is a kindness behind that sadistic and cruel surface. But maybe that's just for me.
''My parents. Family, kids.'' I looked up and met your gaze
''You are thinking about starting a family in the future?'' you asked sliding your hands off my shoulders.
''I was picturing my daughter.''
''Let me guess, she had a ginger hair and wasn't too bright.'' you snorted. I got up and turned to you
''What? '' I asked shocked ''No, Bella! She did not have a ginger hair. I assure you that Ronald Weasley will not ever come close to me in that way. Why would you say that?''
''Because it's normal. We're here now, but in the future if I'll die you'll move on. Cissy is right, I'm living in delusion- you'll always be faithful to the Order and I don't want to change my ways.''
''I'm faithful to you!'' I interrupted ''I will protect my friends, yes. But after I make sure you are alright. You're first Bella, you'll always be first.''
''Swear to it.'' your voice was cracking
''I swear. There is only you and me now.''
''Harry and Dark Lord will just have to cope with that then because I don't plan to loose you.'' you smiled and kissed me
''We'll be together, here and in death.'' I smiled
Madness is a spectrum of behaviours characterised by certain abnormal mental or behavioural patterns. It may manifest as violations of societal norms, including becoming a danger to themselves and others...
I shut the book and tossed it on the table. I was always a bookworm and I never handled book like that, but I guess it true what they say- there is a first time for everything. Even though my parents were dentists they had impressive book collection, especially in psychology.
Well, social norms are brought by people and they do not need to be righteous every time. Madness...maybe madness wasn't that terrible. Maybe I would get used to it...Maybe we'll run away and we won't need to worry about all of them...Maybe...
Maybe was my main problem. Nothing was certain and everything was relative. I think Einstein would be proud with the amount of relativity in my life. I would never be able to live as a Death Eater- I'm a Mudblood and I'm not cruel, sadistic bastard.
''I'm a cruel, sadistic bastard?'' I heard a chuckle behind me. At the time I was already used to the fact that she can read my mind and even though she thought me how to shield my mind, I never used it against her. I did use it against Mrs. Weasley when she tried it at King's Cross.
''Yes.'' I answered truthfully
''Really?'' you asked with fake surprise ''And you still can't get away from me. Pity, pity. A golden girl with cruel and sadistic Death Dater. At the top of it all, not any Death Eater but with the worst of them all.''
''Yes. Sheep with a wolf some would say. I'd say, yin with yang.'' I smiled
''You're over thinking it again.''
''And you're not thinking at all.'' I retored
''Watch your mouth.'' you warned ''I do my best to protect you.''
''To protect a Mudblood?'' I asked unbelieving
''A toy.'' you growled
''What did you say?'' I asked getting up. I have never figured out when I crossed the line. You always set the rules with everybody and you always knew what is allowed and for what you'll get punished. ''If I'm a toy to you, you should leave and not come back.'' I spat angrily
In a moment I found myself shoved against a book case with my wrists pinned above my head. Your piercing eyes looking into mine and I shuddered. Dark eyes became darker and your jaw clenched.
''Watch what you're saying!'' you yelled
''I'm not a toy!'' I said ''If I am, then go and never come back. If this is nothing, go!''
''If your friends knew what you did, if they knew who you're sleeping with. Who you gave yourself to, what do you think they would do? That Ginger moron? Or always clueless Harry?'' you asked looking directly in my eyes.
''I would find a way to explain.''
''What would you say?'' you asked kissing my neck. My hair was tied in a tail, giving you advantage I didn't want you to have in that moment ''Would you say...she made me scream and moan in the Forbidden forest?'' you whispered against my ear and then moved back to my neck. Between the kisses you asked ''Would you say, I betrayed you for her? I fell for the most notorious Death Eater who ever lived? A woman too?''
She had a point, they would tear me down. I knew that was low blow, but at the moment all I wanted is to make you angry as hell.
''I would say you used Imperio. That you forced yourself on me.''
''Don't deny me!'' you roared. There it was: your Achilles heel- me. ''You belong to me!''
''Prove it.'' I said. You smiled and shoved your leg between my thighs and I moaned.
''I think I will. I'll prove to you that I'll never be replaced.'' you growled and took your wand. I gulped thinking what's going to happen. You pointed at me and my clothes disappeared, you put a silencing charm on the room and pointed your wand on yourself. You pulled me and I crashed against you, you lifted my light body and I wrapped my legs around your waist. I felt a bulge instantly. Well, I guess I found out what was third spell you casted. You kissed me possessively and carried me to armchair and nudged me, I unwrapped my legs and in next moment I was bent over the armchair. You muttered the spell and your clothes vanished.
I tried to turn slightly to look at you, but you held me at place. You obviously decided to skip any foreplay and torture because I felt you dragging the tip through my folds. I shivered, you have been my first months ago in Forbidden forest and now you'll be my first again.
''If you have any objections, now is the time to speak up.'' you growled next to my ear. I knew that growl, it was a warning that I'll get it hard. I should have been afraid, it was my first encounter of that kind, but sleeping with you was truly painful sometimes. And I loved it, so I knew what I have to say.
''Fuck me, Bella.'' and that was it. A shaft of eight inches was inside me. I shrieked at it's size and at sudden intrusion.
''You know I aim to please.'' you smiled and started to fuck me. I gripped the armchair, shut my eyes and groaned. Pain was there, of course it was. That just made the whole experience better, my breaths became quicker, my heart was hammering inside my chests. I felt your breasts as you leaned over me biting my neck. I bled, I felt the hot trail of blood running down my shoulders. That made me moan loudly.
Your slamming into me was too intense and I knew I'd come quickly. You knew it too, so your moaned into my ear
''Look up.'' I couldn't, I was preoccupied with the felling of your through fucking. Well you did get my intention when you stopped.
''Look up!'' you growled angrily and I did. I forgot about the big mirror on the wall that was showing my upper part of the body, the one bent over and you behind me. You had that famous predatory look in your eyes. There I saw it again- complete submission. I was willing to do anything for you, that was the reason I became the weak link in Golden trio.
''Look at me as I fuck you.'' you threatened still not moving
''Please, Bella, just, please...'' I begged. You did this to me, God I hate you sometimes. You turned me into weak puppy following you around.
''I didn't know Imperio can make you this wet. I must be awfully good witch.'' you smirked
''Bella! Please!'' this time you delivered. You set up furious pace that literally left me out of breath.
''Don't close your eyes.'' you yelled as I started to. I stopped my self and looked up, it was something strangely erotic in watching this. And it only drove me faster to the final scream. I slumped down against the uncomfortable armchair, you slammed into me two more times before I felt you come inside of me.
You breathed hard when you whispered to my ear: ''Mine. Forever.''
''Yours, my love. Yours forever.'' I nodded
Maybe I didn't knew where I'll be and where I'll have to run. But I knew something- I'll stand next to you.
Summer went by too fast for my liking. But there I was, in my prefect room. All alone, I smiled. I was glad to have a break from Ginny and Lavander. It gave me perfect time to think about everything. About you. I left all my worries about betrayal behind me, I realised that I will never exists without you again. My prime goal was to think of a good escape plan.
I was walking down the hallways of Hogwarts when I heard a cough behind me. I turned around to find Dumbledore
''Good evening, sir.'' I said politely.
''Good evening Hermione. How was your first day back?''
''It was good sir. Thank you for asking.''
''And how was your summer?'' he questioned
''It was the best summer I ever had.'' I smiled
''I'll walk you to the Griffyndor tower.'' he smiled ''Miss Granger, there is something I'd like to discuss with you.'' started Dumbledore ''I heard that you're having trouble dealing with young Mr. Weasley.''
''I'm afraid we can't agree on somethings.'' I offered
''Let me tell you a story Miss Granger. I once knew of a young man who fell in love with a woman who never loved him back. Woman with a black, black heart. Boy knew he was walking into the trap that life set up, but he did it so willingly and he failed. The blackness overthrown his sanity and his clear mind. His friends tried to explain to him what he was doing, but it didn't have any effect. The saddest part of the story is that even in his last breath, he believed in her. Do you understand how life can trick us sometimes, Miss Granger? Sometimes we need to say no to our deceiving heart and senses.''
''I understand, sir.'' I answered. We were already in front of Griffyndor tower so I wished him goodnight. He, as always, nodded his goodbye politely.
Does he know? What will he do? I'll need to think of a better plan, and fast.
If I were in Hell and you were in Heaven, I'd always look up and be proud of you. But, if I were in Heaven and you were in Hell, I'd ask God to send me down, because Heaven isn't Heaven without you.
Please R&R! It'll keep me going. :)