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The calm blue sea was sparkling and beautiful until a massive wall of water shoots up to the sky and a small destroy sails past it only just barely missing the white tower of water, two more expositions disturb the clam blue sea sending another pair of tower flying into the sky and drenching the destroyers deck as the water rains down onto it. The small destroyer changes course pulling hard to the left as more of the water explodes upwards forming yet more towers of water, shells scream through the sky towards the destroyer as it desperately tries to flee from its aggressor that’s in hot pursuit and outclasses the destroyer in almost every way but speed. The destroyer is the Harekaze a Kagerou-class destroyer from the Yokosuka Girls’ Marine High School, chasing and firing at them Musashi a Yamato-class battleship that could sink the Harekaze with a single hit from its massive guns. Right now the Harekaze is running away as the ocean around them is blown into the sky from the heavy shells fired by the Musashi. The Harekaze’s guns are like BB guns compared to the giant cannons on the Musashi and the couldn’t even scratch their pursuers armour even if they tried to shoot back, so they run using their speed advantage over the floating fortress to try and escape.
“How long till we are out of their firing range?” Misaki Akeno the captain of the Harekaze asks trying not to let her fear be heard as she holds on for dear life, the ship is rocking violently from side to side as more and more shells sends towers of water upwards all around her ship.
“Twenty minutes” Shiretoko Rin the ships chief navigator replies not hiding the fear in her voice as she rapidly turns the ship from one side to the other desperately trying to avoid being hit by the massive shells falling to the sea floor all around her.
“Kuro can we go any faster?” Misaki asks over the ships intercom not able to ask any other way as another shell lands, it’s the closes one yet and it feels like it just picked the Harekaze up before dropping it roughly back down.
“Only if you want to destroy the engines” The engineering chief Kuroki Hiromi answer. “We can barely maintain this speed going any faster will leave us dead in the water”
More shells land and the more violently the ship rocks from side to side, some of the girls let out quiet screams but many others remain silent and focused on getting out of the danger. The Harekaze shakes and rocks so extremely that some of the crew fears their ship will capsize but it doesn’t, the stubborn little destroy keeps on sailing on top of the waves. The crew remains in control of their ship despite their fear and the Harekaze keeps moving forward away from the deadly pursuing battleship. The sea that was once calm is destroyed with all the shell exploding in the beautiful blue water, the birds that one flow alongside the small destroyer flee in every direction and all the fish beneath the two battling warships swim as fast as they can away from the battlefield. So far the destroyer Harekaze has been lucky not to be hit and the crew knows it, several of the Musashi’s giant shells have nearly hit it and the crew of the Harekaze knows it’s only a matter of time before a shell finds its target and sinks their ship. The bridge crew desperately tries to see a way out of this, anyway they could escape the rain of shells before they are sunk. Finally they spot one, a way out that stretches across the horizon. They see a large thick cloud of mist just off the port side of their ship where they could hide, it’s not far away and large enough that the Harekaze could be swallowed whole by it hiding the ship and her crew from the massive deadly cannons of the Musashi.
“Rin set a course to that fog” Misaki orders pointing at the white low clouds that cover the sea like a giant fluffy blanket.
“Setting course for the fog” Rin replies confirming her orders as she turns the ship pointing the Harekaze’s bow at the white foggy horizon.
“Are you sure about this?” Munetani Mashiro or Shiro as many of the crew now call her thanks to the captain, the deputy captain of the Harekaze asks looking unsure whether hiding in that thick dense fog is the right decision. “We could easily run aground in their”
“It’s our best option” Misaki tells her second. “Staying here it’s only a matter of time before we are hit, using that fog for cover is the best way to stop people from getting hurt”
“Ok I understand” Shiro says looking down to notice her knees shaking, normally she is calm and never afraid but right here against the giant cannons of the Musashi she can’t help but feel a little fear of what will happen if one of those massive heavy shells the Musashi fires hits the Harekaze directly. “Rin maintain current course”
The Harekaze charges as fast as she can towards the fog where her crew hopes they will be safe while the Musashi continues to fire making it seem to the crew of the Harekaze that it is raining lead, only by sheer luck and the skilful manoeuvring of the crew has the Harekaze managed to avoid being struck by one of those raining shells. All around the small destroyer the sea is churned up or thrown into the air by the powerful shells of the Musashi’s cannons, nothing the crew of the Harekaze seems to do can shake the deadly battleship pursuing them. Everywhere they turn there is a column of water blocking their path, every move they make the crew of the Musashi seems to anticipate. It’s like they know every move the Harekaze is going to make, nothing seems to be working. The Harekaze continues on course to the fog hopping to reach it soon, they all know their luck won’t hold out forever and it’s only a matter of time before one of the massive shells finds its target and sends them to the bottom of the sea. But they make it, Misaki sighs in relief as she watches her ship being engulfed by the white thick clouds of fog. Normally the face she can’t see the front of her ship would worry her but right now it makes he feel safe, if she can’t see her ship then the gunners on the Musashi can’t. As if on cue the rain of shells stops, everything goes silent and it’s easy to forget that just moments ago the ship was lucky to be floating.
“Double the lookouts and put someone at the front of the ship” Misaki orders as her ship disappears into the fog.
“Supply personal get up on deck and act as lookouts” Shiro orders assigning the members of the Harekaze’s crew currently not doing anything as the extra lookouts.
The fog doesn’t disappear and continues to get thicker, soon the bridge crew can’t see anything outside their windows. Also a wired whistling noise can be heard throughout the ship as if a strong wind is blowing through the ship but none of the Harekaze’s crew can feel anything, the only thing anyone can feel is an eerie feeling as they watch the fog fill the ship. It’s just like they have seen in the movies, the fog seeps through the bottoms of the doors and fills each and every room on the ship. Something is wrong everyone knows that, they can all tell this fog doesn’t feel normal or acts like typical fog should. Each and every one on board the Harekaze goes silent, loud bangs can be heard as if someone is slamming a hammer into the hull of the ship. Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… The knocking continues and the crew is all terrified of the sound, despite some keeping a blank face and stopping their bodies from shaking they are all just as scared. Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… The knocking doesn’t stop and the fog continues to get thicker and thicker by the second, now everyone who was outside runs inside the ship in fear and some of the girls hug each other trying to comfort each other as the banging continues. Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang…
“This isn’t right” Misaki says and her fear is impossible to miss in her voice.
“I… I know” Shiro replies also failing to hide her fear.
“Should I keep going?” Rin asks shaking so badly it’s a miracle the ship is traveling in a straight line.
“No stop the ship” Misaki orders. “Something not right and we can’t see more than a meter in front of us, it’s too dangerous to keep on moving in this fog”
“I’ve never seen fog like this before” Shiro says looking around her as the bridge is filled with fog.
“Maybe this fog is evil and that it’s what’s banging on the ship” Nosa Kouko also known as Koko suggests, she is to living in a fantasy world and right now she isn’t helping the situation. “Maybe it’s the sprites of the crew from some sunken ship. “If we can’t sail then you can’t” They are probably say as they try to break into the hull”
“That’s ridicules” Shiro says although she looks slightly shaken up from hearing that, in fact only Koko seems to be unfazed by that. “Ghost aren’t real… Stop saying stuff like that and stick to reality”
“But fantasy is so much better” Koko replies with a small smile.
“It’s probably just floating rubbish hitting us” Shiro tells her. “Not some angry ghost wanting to…” Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… “Wanting to drowned us, right captain”
“Yes we are all going to be fine” Misaki tells her. “It’s just fog and rubbish, nothing to worry about”
Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… The banging continues but this time bringing lightening with it, Misaki fall to the ground with a scream covering her hears and squeezing her eyes shot at the sight off it. Only this lighting like the fog isn’t normal, it’s not the right colour. Red, blue and green bolts of lightning strikes the water all around the ship, the multi coloured flashes of light make the fog glow and even more creepy. Soon the lights go out an all electricity on the Harekaze goes with it, nothing is working and know static sounds pour from the intercom system breaking the silence that has gripped the ship. Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… The banging get louder and so does the static sound, the lights fail to come back on and the flashes of lightening only gets more frequent and bright as if the storm is suddenly speeding up. Misaki finally gets a hold of herself and stands up, she is still shaking like a leaf and jumps at every flash but she is back on her feet.
“Captain you don’t have to push yourself” Shiro calmly says as she places her hand on her captain’s shoulder. “I can take over until the storm passes”
“Thankyou” Misaki replies just before another flash lights up the fog, Misaki instantly hugs her second tightly burying her head in her chest. “I really don’t like lightening”
“I know” Shiro tells her, her hands remaining at her sides. “After hearing about your parents no one will blame you for it”
A vibration suddenly takes over the ship as all the lightning bolts suddenly strike at once surrounding the ship in a rainbow of colours of bright everyone on board the Harekaze is forced to cover their eyes, then just as quickly at it started the vibrations stop, the bright light disappears and the banging on the ship’s hull ceases. The fog still stay although it rapidly becomes thinner to the point where the bridge crew could see the bow of the ship and even several meters in front of it, everyone waits in silence for something to happen but after minutes pass they all let out a sigh of relief after it finally ended. Little do they know their trouble is only just getting started, soon they will find themselves against an even deadly opponent then the Musashi and her massive cannons.
“Is it over?” Rin nervously asks gripping the ships wheel so tightly her knuckles have turned white.
“It appears that it is” Shiro says looking out of the bridges widows and watching the fog start to evaporate.
“It is over, we should be able to move again” Misaki says as she digs her face out from Shiro’s chest and takes a look around for herself, she lets go of her second and stands up straight before giving out her order. “Rin take us out of the fog…” Misaki stops as the lights flicks back on. “Head straight ahead slowly till we are clear of this fog”
“Slowly ahead” Rin replies and soon the ship starts to float forward through calmer seas.
“Keep your eyes open” Misaki tells everyone. “The Musashi may be out there”
Meanwhile several miles to the north into their base in Britannia near the town of Folkestone Wing Commander Minna-Dietlinde Wilcke and Squadron Leader Sakamoto Mio sit in Minna’s office, Mio quietly sharpens her Katana while Minna goes about filling out the paper work required to keep the Five Hundred and First Joint Fighter Wing more commonly known as the Strike Witches running. Ammunition needs to be ordered, food, spare parts and a few other things need to be ordered. Thankfully no medical supplies do to, ever since the arrival of the squad’s newest witch Miyafuji Yoshika there hasn’t been a need to order any. Her healing power is a blessing to any squad fighting on the front lines, if she could control her magical power better then Minna would even need to keep the medical supplies she does have in the base. The two work in silence with the only sounds being Minna’s pen writing on the paper and the scrapping Mio is making as she sharpens her sword, nothing else to break the silence or cover up those sounds. Finally after finishing her last piece of paper work Minna gentle puts down her pen and looks over to the Fuso witch, Mio doesn’t even notice her commanding officer staring and Minna can’t help but admire the way her seconded in command throws herself into whatever task she is given without letting anything distract her.
“That’s all the paper work I have for today” Minna says and Mio looks up at her nut doesn’t stop the movement of her hands working on her blade.
“Great we can have that bath now” Mio says finally stopping what she is doing and moving to set her sword and sharping stuff down on her desk.
“You could have gone it with the others” Minna tells her as the two of them start to leave.
“And miss out on some alone time with you” Mio replies making Minna blush, she stops her commander before she can leave her office and gives her a quick kiss. “You know we hardly get time to ourselves any more, not now that the Neuroi have stepped up their attacks”
“I know” Minna almost whispers as they start to walk away again. “We will have time again, once the Neuroi get back to their usually attack schedule” The tow start to move for the bath when the alarm sounds and stops them in their tracks, both girls straight away run for the control room to find out what is happening. “I guess our bath will have to wait”
Meanwhile the small destroyer Harekaze continues to slowly sail forward, they can see land on both sides of their ships but its land no one recognises. Both sides show the scars of war, scorched earth, ruined houses and wrecked abandoned vehicles. The sight of this confuses the girls of the Harekaze even more, there hasn’t been a war in decades and the Blue Mermaids where set up to stop another war from happening. None of them know where they are or what has happened, the last thing they saw before they entered the fog was the wide open sea and the Musashi charging towards them guns blazing. Now they see land instead of sea, signs of war in what is meant to be a time of great peace. Nothing the crew of the Harekaze sees makes sense to them.
“Where are we?” Misaki asks as she grabs her binoculars to get a better look.
“I don’t know there shouldn’t be any land near us” Rin replies as she too looks at the land ever side of the ship.
“I don’t know ever” Shiro also answers as she looks out of the window. “I think we should follow the coast and head into the first port we sea, we should be able to find out where we are there”
“Ok, Rin follow the coast” Misaki orders as something appears on the horizon.
“Captain, radar is picking up something incoming from the south” Koko reports relaying the message. “They say it’s not like anything they have seen before”
With a quick check of her compass Misaki quickly runs to a window where she can see out to the south, she scans the horizon with her binoculars as Shiro steps up beside her to do the same. Soon they find the incoming target, it’s a large black flying object with no apparent engines gently floating towards them. As it get close the two leaders of the ship can see it is like a giant fling stingray and red dots poker dotting its body, both girls stare at it as it gets closer and closer to their ship. Both girls watch, both girls get a bad feeling in their stomachs. They quickly turn to the other seeing all of them looking at them waiting for orders, Misaki takes a quick breath before saying.
“Everyone to their stations with have an unidentified object approaching the ship” Misaki orders and soon the alarm sounds ordering everyone to their stations. “We don’t know whether it is friendly or not so don’t fire unless fired upon, Rin increase our speed slightly”
“Are we under attack?” Irizaki Mei asks sounding more excited than scared. “Do I get to open fire?”
“We don’t know yet” Misaki replies before turning to face Koko who is recording the unfolding scene on the bridge with her tablet. “Koko try and contact them” Before they can though the floating black stingray is on top of them, its red patches start to glow before shooting out a red beam which only just misses the Harekaze. The beam explodes in the water causing an exposition far more powerful than the ones caused by the Musashi giant powerful cannons, it even pushes the ships sideways with the force of the blast. “Rin take evasive actions!” Misaki orders as the ship shakes from the blast. “Take us up to fourth combat speed!”
“The engine room says we can only maintain fourth combat speed for ten minutes” Rin says relaying the message from Hiromi.
“Then get us out of here” Shiro tells her, another beam narrowly misses the bow of the ship again pushing the ship around and shaking it violently. “Quickly”
The Harekaze now returns fire with its forward turret scoring to hits dead centre and blowing a massive hole in the aggressive creature, the shells did a lot of damage but the black floating stingray is still flying above them and fires again. As the crew of the Harekaze recover from another near miss they watch in shock and horror as the hole they just blow into that thing attacking them slowly heals itself, soon it’s almost as if the crew of the Harekaze never even scratched it. Misaki freezes for a second after witnessing that but quickly recover, soon she is back taking command of her sip n another dangerous situation.
“Continue evasive actions and returning fire” Misaki says as she stares up at the perfectly intact stingray. “Send out a destress call requesting help, tell them we are under attack and only have ten minutes til our we have to slow down making us valuable”
But help was already on the way, soaring towards the Harekaze high above the clouds the Strike Witches are coming to their aid. All of them apart from Sanya fly towards the endangered destroyer that is fighting for its life, armed and ready they are heading towards the battle with everyone but two felling confident. Only Lynnette Bishop or Lynne as everyone calls her and Yoshika the Strike Witches newest recruit are feeling nervous, both girls are new to the military and to war unlike the others who have years of experience fighting the Neuroi. Because of this these two witches have become close friends, supporting each other in and off of the battlefield and giving each other the strength they need to fight. Now together they fly into battle with the rest of their squad, nervous but willing and ready to fight with the other.
“The Neuroi is attacking from Calais, it’s a single large type” Minna says as she leads the witches forward. “We received a distress call from a destroyer in the area, it is under attack and has something wrong with its engine. The crew reported that in ten minutes they will be dead in the water”
“I didn’t think any ships were meant to be the area” Gertrude Barkhorn or Trude as her friends and family call her says. “I thought the next convoy wasn’t meant to be coming through here till tomorrow”
“Your right this ship shouldn’t be here” Minna replies as the sound of the Harekaze’s guns reaches her ears. “But they are there and in trouble, we can’t let them die” Soon the battle comes into view and the witches can see the destroyer severing to avoid the Neuroi’s deadly red beams while returning fire with every gun they have. “Yoshika, Lynne I want you two to protect the ship, everyone else will engage the Neuroi and try and lure it away from the destroyer”
“Hold it off until I find the core” Mio orders as they pick up their pass towards the battle below them. “We will take it out together then”
“I’ll protect the Squad Leader until she finds it and try to contact the ship” Minna says as the witches dive into position. “We haven’t been able to contact it since they sent that distress message, their radio could be damaged or they could have had their hands full fending off the Neuroi ever way we need to establish contact with them” The witches dive until they are within striking position before Minna finally give the order. “Strike Witches attack now”
Another beam strikes the sea, it’s the closest one yet and the force of the exposition sends everyone throughout the ship tumbling to the ground. Slowly the Harekaze’s crew slowly get back up, most of the girls with cuts and bruises but nothing too serious so the retake their positions and carrying dodging the beams and returning fire. So far the Harekaze has only taken light damage and the crew only cuts and bruises but soon the ships engine will give out, when that happens they will be sitting ducks and at the mercy of the flying stingray. So far every move they make can’t shake their attacker, so far every attack they make proves useless as the stingray quickly heals itself. For the crew of the Harekaze time is running out, if help doesn’t arrive soon then they will be sunk.
“Captain we have more incoming contacts this time from the north” Koko tells Misaki relaying another message. “Ten small contacts possible missiles they are too small to be an aircraft”
“Are they hostel?” Shiro asks looking back at Koko.
“Don’t know” Koko replies with her eyes wide in the same fear that is gripping every member of the crew.
“Captain what are you orders?” Shiro asks and everyone looks to their leader for guidance.
“Don’t fire unless they fire first, they could be here to help us” Misaki answers before she turns her attention onto Koko. “Did anyone reply when you asked for help?”
“The radio was damaged when the ship shuck, I don’t know if anyone heard us” Koko replies shaking her head. “All we can do is hope these new contacts are friendly”
Seconds later the black stingray screeches like a banshee as two small blurs burst past it firing what sounds like machineguns into the black skin, more blurs charge the floating monster firing more bullets into it as two young girls gentle float down positioning themselves between the Harekaze and the flying stingray. The sight of these girls surprise every crew member on the Harekaze, they were young about the age of the ship’s crew but the thing that surprised everyone the most was the girl’s legs. They wore nothing, not trousers, skirts or shorts. Their legs were bare apart from some kind of machine on their legs that appears to be the thing letting them fly but those machines fail to cover up the girls completely, the crew can see the underwear of one of the girls and the bottom of the swimming suit of the other. But as they take in the girls they notice that they are holding large weapons that look too heavy for one person to life and even more surprising then the girl’s bare legs, they both have animal tails and ears. They don’t look fake ever; they are ever a very good fake or are real. The crew of the Harekaze are so stunned at the sight of these girls they don’t even notice the stingray has fired again, the shot looked dead on and by the time the crew spots it it’s too late. Or so they thought. The two flying half naked girls create some kind of massive blue circles which blocked the beam, once again stunned the crew stares in awe at the sight. But this time they don’t stay stunned for long, they turn back to their stations and get their heads back into the fight.
“Rin set across north, if these girls are helping us and came from the north then we will be safe their” Misaki orders Turing her gaze away from the two half naked girls to the front of her ship. “Continue firing and evasive actions until we are out of range”
“Minna the ship is heading north and with Lynne and Miyafuji guarding it they should be safe; you can focus on the fight now” Mio says tapping her commander on the shoulder who was zoned out watching the destroyer escape.
“I am focused on the fight” Minna tells her girlfriend looking back at the Neuroi.
“I know you too well” Mio gentle says. “I know you were more worried about that ship then this battle, if you weren’t then you wouldn’t be you” Minna smiles a bit at that. “Now back to the fight, I found the core”
“Were is it?” Minna asks focused on ending this fight.
“Here” Mio answer pointing to the tail of the Neuroi. “At the tip of the tail”
“Got it” Minna replies staring at the cores location. “Trude, Erica the core is in the tip of the tail take it out, everyone else draw its fire so they can it out”
“Yes ma’am” The squad responds before diving towards their enemy, within ten seconds the Neuroi is no more and the witches are regrouping.
“Good job everyone let’s head back to base” Minna says but once again the squads second is tapping her arm, Minna looks towards Mio who’s pointing to a girl on the ships mask who’s waving a pair of flags around. “What do you think it means?”
“They are asking for help” Mio answers and everyone looks at her confused and wondering how she knows what the girl with the flag means. “I learned flag signals during basic training”
“Everyone return to base apart from Yoshika and Shirley, you two come with me to help the ship” Minna orders now knowing the meaning of those flags.
“I’m coming too” Mio says flying next to Minna, knowing how stubborn she can be Minna doesn’t complain or try to stop her.
“Trude you’re in charge until we get back” Minna says before the group of witches splits in half.
“They did it that thing is disintegrating” Mei cheers as the bridge crew of the Harekaze watches that black giant stingray turn into white shards that rain down into the sea.
“Slow to cruise speed steady as she goes” Misaki orders sighing in relief now that the danger has past.
“Cruising speed, steady as she goes” Rin replies confirming her orders as she steadies the ships course so they are sailing in a straight line.
“What about those girls?” Shiro asks as she watches them form a large group above them. “We could ask them for help, they could tell us where we are and where the nearest port is”
“Good idea Koko could you… Wait our radio isn’t working…” Misaki says before pausing to think of ways to communicate with those flying girls. “Tell to use Macchi her flags to ask them for help”
Minna, Mio, Yoshika and Shirley slowly approach the ship and keep their guard up, they still don’t know these people and the red markings on the ship aren’t anything like the ship markings the girls have seen before. They are willing to help these people but they still won’t let their guard down, not until they find out who they are at least. They gently float down to land on the deck of the ship near the forward turret and are surprised by who comes to great them, a group of girls descend from the bridge towards them. They look far too young to be on a war ship and Minna doesn’t remember hearing about a warship manned by teenage girls before, the group of girls walks towards them with the girl in front wearing a captain’s hat despite looking like she’s younger then Yoshika. Minna floats forward with Mio just behind her, the two groups meet up with each other leaving about a meter of space between them. Minna is the first to speak, after a few seconds pass while both groups look each other over Minna speaks up to break the silence.
“Who are you girls?” Minna asks wanting to know how girls could sail a warship when most militaries only allow non witch females to serve as nurses.
“I’m Misaki Akeno the captain of the Harekaze, we have been blown off course by a storm and need directions to the nearest port” Misaki says getting straight to the point.
“There hasn’t been a storm for weeks” Minna replies wondering how she could possibly miss something like a storm.
“Really because it was a strange one” Misaki says looking confused as to how someone could miss it something like a storm.
“Yeah it was massive with flashes of red, blue and green lightening, then the ship vibrated and throughout the storm there was banging on the hull as if the souls of drowned sailors were trying to get it” Koko quickly explains causing the witches to look at her like she’s crazy, her crew members just sigh already used to the wild fantasy she come up with.
“So you were in a storm and ended up here” Mio says taking over. “Where did you set say from?”
“Japan, we were in the middle of a training exercise but something took over the other ships in our fleet” Misaki answers right away. “When we reached the rendezvous point they attacked us, we barely escaped and was chased into the storm. When we exited it we were here and whatever that thing was attacked us”
“You don’t know what a Neuroi is?” Shirley asks in disbelief.
“No we haven’t” Misaki replies shaking her head. “Was that what attacked use?”
“Yes it was” Minna tells her not knowing what to do, these girls are from Japan a country she hasn’t heard off and they haven’t heard of the Neuroi mankind’s greatest enemy. “We should discuss this later we still could be attacked by the Neuroi here; follow us we will take you to our base where we can continue this discussion in safety”
sujitha nair: What's so distinct about this story was that it could easily be real. Praveena can be your classmate, neighbor or that girl you saw at the coffee shop today. The important decisions she makes and the dilemmas she faces, remind us of our own twisted lives.
Sara Grover: Being that this is your first story and I assume first draft, a lot of little mistakes are common, we all have made them; little things like your instead of you're, missed capitalization, missing punctuation, etc. As for the plot, I have a lot of questions and I did leave comments on certain sect...
BlakDreams: Wait is this over already?? I really love this story but I'm not sure, is this story already over?? Hm... if it's over I'm a kill myself cuz I loved it!! AGGHH!This story has a perfect storyline and everything I love itttt! Oh my god!
M. Drewery: I did think I would be reading just another Atlantis archaeological adventure story when I came across this book. However I think it's fresh and very different to other approaches to the same historical mystery. The first chapter drew me in brilliantly. I'm not great at spotting technical writing...
Diyfamilygarden: This is one of the best books I've ever read! The characters, the unique love and everything else in this book is so well written that it feels like you're there! Like you can see it with your own eyes! J.K.Rowling can watch out, this fantasy book is just as good as the Harry Potter books, maybe ...
kathryncoard: I really enjoyed this book. It was a fast paced book, that kept me interested . Yes, it was political commentary, which I found to be relevant to many things happening in the world. The snippets from the journal show the " boiled frog " analogy that is clearly relevant . Interesting that peop...
themyronus: Vanessa has made 'amazing' the norme. I didn't want to read this as I am waiting for the finished and polished book to come out. But then I decided to read one chapter for kicks...well hours later I finished what was posted. Fortunately, my memory is not to good and I hope I will read the book wi...
Flik: Hi! ^.^ huge fan of yours on ff.net! When I saw the note about this contest on The Way We Smile, I couldn't help but rush over here, create an account, and vote! XD Seriously love this story and would recommend it to anyone! :D best FT fanfiction out there. Amazing story, amazing concept that wa...
ga1984: I really enjoyed it! Characters were deep and plot was pretty complex. A bit on the violent side but it doesnt detract from the story. Very dark but situations make sense. Ends kinda abruptly and later chapters will need some editing work. I'm assuming there's more in the works?
Dru83: This is the second or third time I've read this one and I just love it. It has just about everything you could ever want packed into one scifi story. It still has some parts that are a little rough in terms of grammar, punctuation, and word usage, but it's still an awesome story. I love how detai...
FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"
Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."