The Bijuu Wars

A new mission and a new enemy

Neokenshin: Ahh can you smell it!

Naruto: Yeah...but I think I had too many bowls of that chili ramen.

Everyone else: NARUTO!!!!!

Neokenshin: Ok now that's DEFINITELY not what I meant. I was talking about the start of a brand new arc.

Naruto: Oh yeah...that! It's the start of the new Excelion Arc. Sweet!

Neokenshin: Yeah....but still it's gonna be good with new abilities, plus there's a few new characters being introduced as well. So let's kick things off!

Naruto: And as always Kishi owns Naruto!!!

Chapter 26: A new mission and a new enemy

The sun rose to shine on a new day in Konoha, the Village hidden in the Leaves. All was well as a major crisis had been averted, and for a small time peace once again came to the villagers. And for one family in particular, the Uzumaki Clan, things had settled in nicely as two of their members finally returned home after a long journey. And of course…things definitely got back into the same old groove….

"Be quiet! Do you wanna wake her up or something?" Haku whispered as she tried to make sure that Akemi and Natsumi didn't try to wake up Kasumi.

"She's gonna be out cold for another few hours! Remember, we sprayed that Kitsune Nip all over her bed last night. She'd probably sleep through one of Gai-sensei's crazy youth rants!" Natsumi replied. "Now look, we need to hurry up and get in position!"

"Ok so why are we doing this again? And what's with the pie? I thought Oka-san made that for dinner tonight." Akemi looked a little confused as to what was going on. And why did Natsumi have a pie with her?

"Look half pint, for as long as we know, Kasumi has been the one that has gotten out of every single joke, prank, and trick ever! Remember the bit when you and Aunt Yugito went crazy and shrunk everyone's underwear?" Natsumi explained, causing Haku to have a bad memory flashback.

"Right…the prank I didn't kill you for." Haku added.

"Oh yeah, Kasumi-chan was feeling really bad back then." Akemi remembered how Kasumi was going through hell that week.

"Well she's home, she's better, and now she's our prime target!" Haku opened the door to see Kasumi snoozing away. "This time, she's NOT getting out of this. Now you got the air horn?"

"Right here." Akemi held up the small horn.

"Good, now let's get her!" The three girls crept into Kasumi's room where the silver tailed kitsune girl was fast asleep. Natsumi took the pie and set it up so that when Kasumi shot up, she'd get a face full of cream, and Haku moved into position as well. "Alright Akemi-chan, let her have it!"

"This is gonna be fun!" Akemi turned away and sounded the horn full blast! "KASUMI-CHAN!!! WAKE UP!!!!"

Kasumi shot up like lightning, wondering what just happened…when she went face first into a lemon cream pie. Haku was fast on the move by immediately grabbing the back of her pajama pants and dropping a large batch of ice down the back…and freezing her panties as an extra twist.

"Let's high tail it girls!" Haku, Natsumi, and Akemi shot out of Kasumi's room, laughing their heads off. "Oh yeah, breakfast is ready Kasumi-chan!"

"Th-th-thanks Haku-ch-ch-chan." Kasumi chattered out as she slowly got out of bed, forgetting she had a pie in her face.

Back downstairs…

"What are you three doing?" Akane saw the three run down laughing like crazy while she was making pancakes for the family.

"Oh we just went to wake up Kasumi-chan like you asked." Natsumi replied as she sat down at the table.

Akane looked at her girls and knew something wasn't right. "Right…oh I meant to ask, have you seen the lemon cream pie I made last night? It just vanished all of a sudden."

"Dunno. Maybe Naruto or Otou-san got a hold of it?" Haku replied while she got some orange juice from the fridge. Everyone finally got seated when Kasumi slowly came down the stairs.

"M-m-morning everyone. Oka-san, I think I f-f-f-found your p-p-pie." Kasumi pulled the pie off her face…how she managed to walk through the house with it still stuck on was a mystery, but it was probably due to her being still half asleep. Of course when she removed it…

"EVERYBODY RUN! IT'S THE CREATURE FROM KONOHA LAKE!!!!" Natsumi screamed in terror, before she burst out laughing. "No, I'm kidding, but seriously Kasumi, did you like your wakeup call?"

"What part? The air horn, the pie, the ice, or the frozen panties?" Kasumi grumbled as she went to get a towel from the laundry room.

"You froze her panties!" Mai whispered to Haku while Kasumi was wiping the rest of the whipped cream off her face.

"Yeah, ice cold!" Haku snickered.

"Good one! We'll have to try that one on Akane and Yugito sometime." Mai chuckled in humor.

"Yugito, yes…me, no." Akane said while she set the pancakes on the table. "But even I have to say, that was a good one Haku-chan."

"Whatever. I guess I had that one coming to me, right?" Kasumi finally got the last of the whipped cream off her face and managed to use Foxfire to thaw and dry herself enough to try and enjoy breakfast. "I mean how many times have I gotten out of being pranked?"

"Way too many!" Natsumi said while she ate her pancakes. "So what are we doing today?

"Well…" Akane was about to explain when the doorbell rung. "Hmm looks like our breakfast guests are here. Natsumi-chan, will you get the door?"

"Sure thing." Natsumi went to the door to find the Uchihas at the door. "Oh hey guys. Guess you're here for breakfast right?"

"Guess you could say that." Sasuke replied. "So anything good happen?"

"Not really…thought you missed us pranking Kasumi this morning." Natsumi said as she welcomed everyone in. "Was pretty funny seeing her with pie all over her face. Well it was that or the frozen panties bit."

"Natsumi-chan! Why did you have to be so mean to Kasumi-hime?" Shiori asked. "Ugh, never mind." With that she stormed off to the kitchen.

"Uh ok…so how's she faring with married life now?" asked Natsumi.

"Not too bad. She's actually been learning to cook from Oka-san and Konan. Gotta say, the barbecue beef that Konan makes is really good, and Shiori seems to have the recipe down pretty well." Sasuke explained. "Also she's wanted to learn tea ceremony for some reason."

"Guess even under her warrior ninja exterior, she just wants to be a normal girl, and a good wife." Natsumi replied. "She picked a good one, ya know."

"She wouldn't have if it wasn't for me." Sasuke laughed as he and Natsumi headed back to the kitchen…of course when they got there…

"Come on Shiori-chan! You can sit down and enjoy breakfast with us at least!" whined Kasumi. Shiori was already taking her spouse training to full effect and had taken over for Akane in the kitchen.

"No way! It's my job to make sure that the family is well served. And don't worry, I sent a clone upstairs to run you a bath and iron your clothes for the day Kasumi-hime." Shiori called out from the kitchen.

"Hmm, I like the way she does things." Arashi said from behind the newspaper. Without thinking Shiori already came back and refilled his coffee and even had another large stack of Akane's pancakes for him, with butter and syrup! "Ok I rephrase that…I REALLY like the way she does things!"

"It's no problem Arashi-tou-san. As head of the house, you should always get the largest portion, and be served first." Shiori said with a respectful bow.

"Uh Shiori-chan, it's ok that you wanna be so helpful, but you don't have to start right now." Akane got the girl to take a seat by Kasumi. "Just enjoy breakfast. You'll still be a good wife to Kasumi-chan in the future."

"Are you sure Akane-kaa-san?" questioned her newest daughter. "I mean I just wanna make sure everything is ok."

"Everything is gonna be fine silly! Now just eat and have fun." Kasumi said as she stuffed her mouth full.

"Hey Sasuke…" Itachi whispered to his brother. "Think we're gonna be that lucky when we get married?"

"I hope so. If we did, we wouldn't have a care in the world!" Sasuke laughed. His laugh was cut short as a concentrated light blast shot past his head, while Itachi lost a few hairs on the side of his head from a very sharp paper shuriken.

"Don't quit your day job pretty boy." Kasumi said as she returned back to her normal form.

"I agree. If you want to be lucky, then be lucky you're not in the hospital you dorks!" Konan added.

"Now girls, no need to get angry." Arashi said from behind his newspaper. "That will ruin your appetite."

"Oh alright." Kasumi replied as she continued her breakfast. "You know something…maybe I married the right Uchiha already. One of them is ready to take care of me hand and foot, while the other one is expecting ME to do all the work. I think I already got the good part of the deal."

"You can't be serious, can you Kasumi?" Sasuke nearly spit out his juice when he heard that.

"Just as gullible as ever. Well if you'll excuse me, but my lovely wife has a bath drawn for me. I think I'll go and make myself more presentable…after I incinerate all of Haku, Natsumi, and Akemi's underwear!" Kasumi booked it upstairs, leaving her three sisters to try to get to her before it was too late.

"Kasumi, you better not touch my stuff!" Haku screamed.

"This is all your fault, you know that!" whined Akemi. "I knew listening to you was a bad idea!"

"My idea! Blame female Naruto over there! She's the one that came up with it!" Haku snapped back.

"Speaking of who started it…someone still owes me a pie?" Akane said sternly. "So I'll take a payment of cleaning the kitchen and dining room, if that's suitable for you girls?"

"No problem Oka-san. We'll definitely take care of it." Haku said slyly. She turned to Natsumi because she had a plan that would end up getting both her and Natsumi out of it.

"So…excuse no. 13?" Natsumi whispered.

"Yup. That's always a good one." Haku replied as she cleared her throat. "Oh yeah before I forget, Akemi-chan, you remember that one time a few months ago…you know…at the ice cream shop?"

"Yeah, remember when you said you'd take care of a little favor if we kept something secret?" Natsumi added. She and Haku knew they had her now…well…they would have…

"So what…uh why did you go into armor mode and why are you standing there with a charged Starburst Ray?" Haku could see the little kitsune was NOT happy.

"I told Oka-san about excuse no. 13. She already knows about that! So how about we change the deal…how about you two take care of the kitchen and the dining room, and I'll see if I can go join Kasumi-chan in the bath and maybe help her with nuking all your underwear?" said little kitsune was quite irritated that she was going to be the target of her sisters' excuse. "So is it ok if I go Oka-san?"

"You're excused Akemi-chan." Akane said warmly.

"Mkay. Be back in a little bit." Akemi powered down and went upstairs to join her sister.

"So Akane…what's excuse no. 13?" asked Mai.

"Oh that. Well turns out that a few months ago Akemi-chan wanted to impress Konohamaru a little bit. So she stuffed her training bra with extra padding and her sisters saw and couldn't stop laughing. She was so embarrassed that she didn't want anyone else to know so they were going to hold that against her to weasel out of any extra chores." Akane explained. "She was so distressed about it that I ended up overhearing her talk to herself about what would happen if Haku and the other girls let that secret out so I had a heartwarming talk with her and she felt much better."

"So she pulled the stint that Mew-mew did when she wanted to impress that kid back in Moon Country about 1500 years ago?" Mai said.

"You got that right!" Akane chuckled.

Even though this could be called a normal morning, Tsunade on the other hand was having her hands full dealing with more stress than she wanted…

"Danzo…seriously, explain this to me…are you completely brain dead or something?" Tsunade looked at the old war hawk like he had no sense whatsoever after reading the proposal before her. "Didn't I explicitly create and sign an order about this?"

"But Tsunade-sama, there must be consequences for the actions that have happened. Destruction to Konoha, defacing of the Hokage Monument, the death of one of Konoha's Sannin? She must be tried for these crimes." Danzo spoke fluidly trying to get his point across.

"So…you want me to have Kasumi Uzumaki arrested on the charges of leading an Akatsuki attack on Konoha, causing destruction to a large part of the village, including the Hokage Monument, and killing Jiraiya. And you wish for her punishment to be execution as a traitor to the Leaf? Am I correct in these accusations?" Tsunade said as she read over the parchment again.

"Yes, the council believes this is the best action. We do not know if she will turn against us again." Danzo stated bluntly.

"I see." Tsunade reached inside her desk and pressed a small button, causing her desk to lower into the floor and in its place was a large stack of stone bricks. "Well Danzo…"

"Yes Tsunade-sama?" he looked upon the Hokage and kept his calm demeanor.

"YOU ARE A BLASTED FOOL!" Tsunade slammed her fist into the bricks, reducing them to nothing but dust. "So you want to arrest and kill a 17 year old shinobi who happens to be one of Konoha's finest Chuunin kunoichi, which was explicitly placed under the control of Madara Uchiha, admitted by not just one…but ALL THIRTY SEVEN REMAINING MEMBERS OF TEAM ILLUMINA! You know just as well as I do that she was forcibly placed under mind control by Madara, forced to kill Jiraiya during her attempted rescue, ordered to lead the attack by Madara…am I repeating a common thing here?" Oh but she wasn't finished! "She was pushed to the brink of death itself especially after having a termination order placed on her by her own mother, who mind you nearly had a mental breakdown after that little stint, and still she managed to survive all of it and resume her normal daily life AND was still able to get married in the process!"

"On the subject of that as…" Danzo tried to interject but was denied.

"Don't even touch that subject Danzo. That is bound under Akane's Kitsune Law and you have no control over that whatsoever. Now to get back to the point, we have a complete medical diagnostic from Inoichi, who happens to be Konoha's top mental analyst, that Madara had full control over her and she had no choice in her actions. We even have complete documentation from the memory analysis he has been doing with Konan, who happened to have been around Madara much longer and was under his control as well." Tsunade continued her angered rant. "And you honestly believe that the council, who was just as worried about Kasumi as the rest of the entire village, will support this proposal?"

"I do, and I believe that justice will be served." Danzo stated proudly.

Tsunade couldn't help but start laughing at all of this. "You know what…I'm gonna go ahead and put this forth to the council. Just for laughs. Because I know every single one of them will be on the floor laughing their heads off just like me!"


"Don't Tsunade-sama me. I already stated that until the Bijuu Wars are over, every member of Team Illumina is cleared of anything accused against them and will never be charged with petty things like this. They are out there risking their very lives just to keep Madara Uchiha and Akatsuki from destroying this world! And you know what, I'm sick of you trying everything you can to ruin them." Tsunade sat back down as her desk returned to place. "So Danzo…just try to touch them now." She took out her legal letterhead and began…"I, Tsunade Senju, Godaime Hokage of Konoha, hereby decree that all members of Team Illumina are completely immune from any accusations of treason unless it is fully proven and certified by mental analysis and interrogation from both Inoichi Yamanaka and Ibiki Morino, that they chose to turn against the village of Konoha."

"Tsunade-sama, this is preposterous! You have no right to decree such an order!" Danzo expressed stately.

Tsunade sent him a death glare that could kill just about anyone, "You know what…I have had it with your incessant crap. I said you weren't getting your hands on Team Illumina and I meant it. That's where this comes in." She began to write her next decree. "I, Tsunade Senju, Godaime Hokage of Konoha hereby release EVERY member of Team Illumina INCLUDING their complete families and clans from any obligations to Konoha. If they chose to leave the village, they may do so with the blessing of the Hokage, and shall never be branded missing nin, and may return to the service of the village at any time they wish." She read over it once more before placing her seal on the decree. "So how does it feel knowing you just gave the most powerful squad in Konoha the freedom of the Sannin?"

"You won't get away with this Tsunade-sama! The council…" Danzo tried to tell her she couldn't win with her decrees but Tsunade wasn't hearing it.

"The council will do nothing because you are only one member of the minority! Now get out of my office before I have you removed!" Tsunade turned her back to look out the window at the village. "Oh and one more thing…"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?" Danzo griped in anger.

"You do one more thing…one more thing against Team Illumina, whether it be trying to recruit them, try to pass a decree against them, or even falsely accuse them…" She turned back and gave him the strongest death glare she had. The sheer amount of killing intent radiating from her was immense. "I will personally have them locate and destroy your little secret ROOT facility, and for the kicker…I will have Kasumi Uzumaki terminate you for treason personally! You seem to have it out for her the worst in all of this, so it's only fitting that she be the one to return the misery."

"That's just an idle threat. You cannot do such a thing." Danzo smirked.

Tsunade stayed firm with her choice. "Just try me. I told you Danzo…I've had it with you."

Danzo was speechless as he left her office. His plans were hindered already as it was since Team Illumina recovered all of its members and even had all the Bijuu on their side now. To make matters worse, now that Konan was also on their side, he ran an even greater risk of being discovered. "Damn, Madara-sama is not going to be pleased with all this."

At the main gate, a cloaked figure entered Konoha. The presence that this cloaked person gave off was invisible as time seemed to freeze around them.

"So this is where they're all enjoying themselves. It's definitely much different in person." The cloaked figure continued the trek through the village to find their target. "Kami thinks he can have all the fun, but this time…I'll have a different say in all this."

A dark chill shot down the spine of the nine Bijuu as they all felt a terrifying presence. They knew that things were about to change big time, and it didn't seem like it would be for the better!

"Akane, please tell me you know what the hell that was!" Mai's voice definitely showed her paranoia.

"Yeah nee-chan, I don't like this at all! It's like something really bad is about to happen." Even the hair on Yugito's tails was up in shock.

"This aura…it's almost like it's divine in some nature." Makoto said as she felt the aura in the air. "But it doesn't feel like Kami's presence?"

"Do you think we may be dealing with another deity? Or maybe Kami-tou-san disguised himself?" asked Shinja.

"We can't be sure, but for now I believe we should be…uh Yugito…how did you do that?" Daisuke took notice of his sister and could tell things were not as they should be.

"What are you talking about Daisuke-kun?" asked the Nibi.

Daisuke pointed to his target, "Your hair. Just a second ago you had it down in one braid and now it's up in two with ribbons."

"My hair isn't…" Yugito reached up and sure enough her hair was completely changed. "Ok, who's the joker!"

"Yugito you were staring at all of us. There's no way any of us could have moved that fast to do that to you." Akane explained. "And if we used chakra you would have noticed it."

"This is really weird!!! I mean it's like…like…uh…Akane please tell me you're using a transformation!" Yugito's eyes went wide when she saw Akane had mysteriously changed as well.

"What transformation! I didn't use…a transformation??" She looked and saw that her kimono was no longer the white and orange one she wore today, but a red and silver one now…one she didn't even own! "I…I…Mai do something!"

"What do you want me to do!" said Bijuu asked when she saw Akane hide behind her.

"You could try changing that hair to something other than blue." Mai looked around to see who said that.

"Ok, who's the funny person!" All the Bijuu were scanning the room to see who it was that spoke.

"Seems like my little birdy still is quite feisty." The group all turned to the doorway to see the cloaked figure that had walked through Konoha unnoticed.

"Little birdy…no one's called me that since…IT CAN'T BE!!!" Even now Mai was shaking worse than ever and somehow was now hiding behind Akane again.

"Mai, what…who is that!!!!!" Akane asked.

"The oldest of the girls and you don't remember me? Hmm, wonder if I should get your twin sister Keisei here." Said the cloaked person.

"Ok how do you know about her?" Akane demanded to know.

"You'll know…in time." The cloaked person let out a small laugh as they pulled the hood back from their cloak to reveal…

"Hmm, an emergency meeting? Wonder what this is all about?" Haku and the rest of the Uzumaki clan had gotten a communication from Akane to come back home during their morning training. "And why is it not all of us?"

"Beats me. But did you hear about the new rules Baa-chan put in place for us? Apparently that Danzo nutjob has been really ticking her off over stupid crap and it pushed her to the edge. So now we apparently have unrestricted freedom like the Sannin did." Naruto commented. "Guess that gives us more freedom when it comes to finding Madara."

"Hard to believe I'm still just a Genin and I have that kind of freedom. Is something like this even normal?" asked Akemi.

Everyone turned and looked at her like she was crazy, "Half pint, since WHEN has anything ever been normal with us? What everyone else calls insane and off the wall is considered normal for us." Kasumi replied as she opened the door to the mansion. When she opened it, she and the others didn't expect to hear what was going on.

"Hey what's the…deal???" The Uzumaki siblings all entered in to find Akane, Arashi, and the rest of the Bijuu sitting in front of the TV watching what looked to be…home movies???? "Ok someone mind telling me what you guys are watching? And why does Aunt Mai look like she's about to break down in tears?" asked Naruto.

"Um…how should I put this Naruto?" Akane tried to keep a smile on her face as she scratched her ears. "Your grandmother Kouin has come to visit."

"Oh, well that's nothing…SAY WHAT!!!!" Naruto's eyes went wide as plates when he finally got what she said.

"Yeah, Naruto…meet our mother…Kouin, Goddess of Time." Mai said.

"Wait a minute!!! I thought you said Kami was your only parent in this whole crazy scheme!" Haku asked, slightly confused. "Since when have you had a mother!"

"You mean to tell me you never knew? Honestly, Akane what are you telling these kids?" Kouin got up and embraced her five grandchildren. "Now look at each of you! Oh you're all growing up so fast!"

"Uh, I guess so. How have you been Kouin-baa-chan??" Naruto said as he was released from the love grip.

"Quite well actually. When you're keeping watch over time itself, it tends to get a little boring, but since I keep tabs on all of you, I've seen some interesting things. Especially from this little bundle of fire here." Kouin knelt down and picked up Akemi in her arms. "Gotta say, the baby of the bunch is really showing out!"

"Aw, I'm not doing that much Grammy Kouin." Akemi replied, creating a very large smile on the Time Goddess's face.

"Grammy Kouin!!! Oh you are too adorable!!!" Kouin put the squeeze back on Akemi with a squeal of delight. "Speaking of which, where are the rest of my grandkids? Daisuke, Inuyasha, Yugito???"

"Well…Kimiko and Shippo are with Kagome right now. They'll be back later today." Inuyasha replied. "Kagome needed to go collect herbs and she's working with Kimiko's miko training."

"Kyoji and Riyu are with Tenten at her family's weapon shop. Since we've come here to Konoha, Riyu-chan actually helps her family by working the register and Kyoji helps Tenten's father in the forge." Yugito explained.

"And Daisuke, where's little Nabiki?" Kouin questioned.

"She's back at the Kame Village with her maternal grandmother. Ever since the Akatsuki attacks, she's stayed there for her safety." Daisuke stated. "Though I must say it has been a while since I've seen her. She's already had her 5th birthday and I would have started her water jutsu training this year."

"Hmm, gimme a second…literally." Kouin said. Before anyone even had a chance to blink, there now stood a small five year old girl by her side. She had short green hair and wore a pair of turtle shell hair clips to keep loose strands out of her face. As for her demon features, her skin color had a very faint hue of green, and her fingernails were natural sea foam green, almost as if they were painted already. As for her dress, she simply wore a green short sleeved shirt with a turtle on the front and a matching green skirt. "Told you it would only take a second."

"Huh, where is this…Papa?" the little hanyou girl looked around at all the people and wondered what was going on. "Where am I?"

"Let's just say…you're with family little one." Daisuke picked up his daughter and twirled her around. "How I've missed you Nabiki, my little turtle."

"I missed you too Papa. But who are all these people?" asked little Nabiki.

"Well, let's see. Where to start?" Daisuke took a little bit of time to introduce his daughter to the rest of her extended family, and within minutes she was already undergoing spoilage treatment from Shinja and Mai.

"Yeesh, already going insane. Now Mother, how did you get her here so quickly?" asked the Sanbi. "The Kame Village is at least a week's journey from here."

"Oh Daisuke, that was simple. When you are the creator of time, going to any place is quite easy. And don't worry, I left a note for her other grandmother, so there's no need to worry." Kouin explained. "But for now I say we enjoy a nice brunch and wait for the other kids to come home. Then the real fun will begin."

"Aw come on Mom, do we have to show them that!" Inuyasha complained.

"Yeah, they don't wanna see our boring home movies." Shinja added. Of course with those words 'Home Movies', that basically meant it was nothing but embarrassment city for the Bijuu. And of course that instantly had all the kids on the couch and Naruto with a very large bucket of popcorn for some reason.

"Come on! Let's get rolling! Time to see some embarrassment city!" Naruto was already chowing down on the popcorn.

"Naruto, we've already dealt with three of them as teenagers, it's not like we haven't seen anything different." Haku said as she grabbed a handful of popcorn. "Ooh, you added extra butter! Just how I like my popcorn!"

"Ugh, please don't remind me about that fiasco. I still have nightmares about that whole thing." Mai groaned as she slumped down on the recliner.

"Nightmares about what? Giving Kiba those off the wall panty shots, the pink hair bit, or the part where I blasted you with my Starfire Buster?" Kasumi said in humor.

"All of it!" Mai said, getting a laugh out of everyone else.

"Hey since we've already gone through a return trip to our kid years, think we should have the others enjoy it as well?" asked Yugito. "I never really got to see what you guys were all like as younger kids anyway."

"No, because knowing you, you'll end up getting all of us turned back in to kids, and I'll end up probably getting hurt worse! It's bad enough that everything I bought, I can't even wear anymore!" Mai groaned.

"Speaking of which, I did enjoy wearing that nice red jumper you bought on my date with Neji. He thought it looked cute on me." Haku chuckled.

"Yeah and those jeans fit like a charm! Gotta love free clothes!" Natsumi added, causing more misery to her aunt.

While everyone was getting comfortable, Kouin looked at all her children, thinking of the dangers that were set to come. "To see them all so happy and peaceful now. It's times like this that make me proud of all of them. I honestly wish they didn't have to get involved in this crisis. Kami and I should be able to handle this, but if we were to truly intervene, it could cause a celestial cataclysm." She thought to herself as she started the movies. "But they will be ready when the time comes. For now we'll enjoy being together. Speaking of which, I wonder how Tenten will react when she gets a blast from her past a little later today."

(Movie clip 1)

Takes place when Akane is around 9 years old

"Ugh why do I have to do this!!!" Akane whined. "Why can't Mai do this anyway!"

"Akane! I need you to handle this. Besides I have Mai gathering the laundry." Kouin called out from the kitchen. "Just change your baby sister! It shouldn't take long."

"Alright already! Yeesh!" Akane grumbled as she carried her baby sister Yugito into the nursery. "Seriously, why don't they train you to use the litterbox you pesky cat!" She placed Yugito on the changing table while the baby cat Bijuu kept laughing through the whole thing. "I swear I never want to have kids when I get older. They're all too much work." Akane kept complaining to herself as she went and got supplies from the cabinet. "You hear that! You're too much work you little furball! And Daddy, why are you following me with that camera!"

"Oh no reason sweetie. It's all just for posterity." Kami was already filming away at his daughter's pain. "Oh hold on, I'll be right back. Gotta get some more film." Kami set the camera by the changing table, but didn't tell Akane that he left it on, so it was still filming.

Akane started the routine cleaning and changing of said cat Bijuu and needless to say she wasn't too happy. "Just great. I'm stuck on diaper detail and now I'm getting filmed for it! Aw great! Did you have to stink up everything so badly! Ugh, I'm gonna be sick!" Akane tried her best to fan away the noxious smells of dirty diapers, but even for the Kyuubi…that wasn't easy. "Crap I forgot to get the baby powder. Hold on." She went over to the cabinet and reached for the jar of powder…but that's where things went wrong. The moment she grabbed the jar…it blew up, sending a spray of powder all over the nursery.

"Akane! Is everything ok?" Kouin called out.

"Uh…well…yeah it's fine mom! Everything is ok!" Akane lied frantically.

"Alright then. Be quick and come back down. Lunch is almost ready." Kouin answered back.

Akane got frantic as she tried to figure out how she was going to clean up the huge mass of baby powder all over the nursery. If there was one thing she didn't want to deal with, it was her mother who was a total neat freak!

"Crap, crap, crap! There's no way I'm gonna get all of this cleaned up! Ugh…why did I have to get be the Light user!" Akane grumbled in misery. "Great, where's Daisuke or Hiroshi when you really need those two dorks!"

"Hey fox butt! Mom says…whoa…what the heck did you do in here!" Mai had finished bringing in the laundry and was taking it all in to be folded when she saw her older sister in a panic.

"Mai, you gotta help me! I was just in here changing the furball and a jar of baby powder somehow exploded!" Akane tried cleaning it up, but nothing was working. "Look you're a phoenix, just use your wings and blow all of it away!"

"Yeah right! And make a bigger mess for the Queen of Clean to rip me a new one with! Ha! You're on your own sister!" Mai just walked off and took the laundry back to be folded. "Hope you enjoy being grounded for another 100 years!"

"Great, just great. This is all your fault you little hairball!" Akane snapped while she tried her best to clean up the baby powder. "You just had to be the baby of the bunch, didn't you!"

Yugito did nothing but laugh while Akane did her best to keep cleaning. Unfortunately, time was not on her side.

"Akane, it shouldn't…WHAT IN THE HEAVENS NAME DID YOU DO!!" Kouin nearly exploded at the sight of the newly powdered nursery and her powdered daughters as well.

"Mom, seriously it was an accident! I was just getting the powder and the bottle exploded! Look, Hiroshi or Tsukune probably set it up as a trap or something! I mean I know how much you like…""ENOUGH!" Kouin roared, causing Akane to freeze in her tracks. "Akane I've told you over and over again, the regular baby powder is on the bottom shelf, and the trick powder is on the top shelf. The trick powder is for making the boys start freaking out whenever one of them has to change Yugito!"

"So I…you mean…it was…" Akane stood there dumbfounded while Kouin quickly changed Yugito and instantly cleaned up the mess.

"It's ok Akane, you're still a growing girl. These things happen." Kouin said warmly as she took Yugito back downstairs for lunch while Mai was still laughing her tails off.

Akane stood there for a few seconds before she realized just how insane her family was. "I SWEAR I HATE BEING THE OLDEST GIRL!!!!!"

(End clip)

"Oh man and I thought I had it bad when I had to take care of Hina-chan! You had it ten times worse!!" Naruto was already cracking up laughing.

"Seriously Oka-san, that was too hilarious! Were you really that scatter brained as a nine year old?" Haku said while she caught her breath.

"No! Look it was just…well see the thing is…" Akane tried to protect her shame, but was not having an easy time.

"The thing is, you were dumb enough to forget to remember the prank stuff and not the real stuff. And you're supposed to be the kitsune here; you're the one that got the prank instinct!" Mai was also laughing as well, namely because she wasn't the one embarrassed.

"Oh be quiet Mai-chan." Akane sulked back to her seat.

"Ok what's the next one! Come on we gotta see more." Naruto said, with another bucket of popcorn…and a tray of sandwiches!

"In time Naruto-kun, but we do have more family arriving. Let's make sure they can get in on the videos as well." Kouin said. Just as she did, Kagome, Kimiko, and Shippo walked in the door. "And there they are now."

"Hey all…uh daddy, what's with the family reunion?" Kimiko asked.

"Kimiko-chan, quick grab a seat! Grandma Kouin brought home movies!" Kasumi said to her cousin, and within seconds both she AND Kagome were on the couch munching on popcorn, while Kouin was playing with Shippo.

"Kagome! Not you too!" Inuyasha complained as he saw his wife ready to enjoy his embarrassment.

"Oh any time to see you as a kid Inuyasha…I'll watch that any day of the week! And who made this popcorn, it's delicious!" Kagome said while she munched away.

"Yeah daddy, no offense, but I've already seen home movies of Mom. You've had yours coming for a long time." Kimiko was ready to watch the insanity and already had two sandwiches in her hands.

"Ugh…I'll be glad when she has pups of her own. Then I'll make her suffer." Inuyasha mumbled.

"Heh, yeah right! Kiba's just lucky enough to even be able to go out with me! That crazy dog is lucky I don't neuter him for his own good!" Kimiko replied, causing a slight grunt from all the males in the room. "Now let's commence with the embarrassment!"

Movie 2-Happens at the family pool…Inuyasha's learning how to swim for the first time.

"Ok now this is stupid, how is it that a dog doesn't know how to swim?" Tsukune said as he saw his youngest brother shaking by the pool.

"He's probably afraid of the fact that he'll smell worse after he gets out. Oh wait, he already smells like a landfill pile anyway!" Hiroshi cracked, causing Inuyasha to snap back.

"I do not!!! I…I'm just taking my time." Inuyasha said nervously as he stared at the water.

"Now boys, don't tease your brother. He's going at his own pace." Kouin said while she played with Yugito on a float.

"Yeah too bad his pace is slower than Mai's when she's trying to get dressed in the morning." Tsukune laughed while he splashed his sister who was tanning by the pool.

"Oh get over yourself you stupid chicken." Mai groaned as she dried herself off with her fire. "Leave the whimpering puppy alone."

"Mai-chan! You don't have to be mean to him too." Akane said.

"Whatever. I'm going back to tanning my gorgeous body." Mai turned over to let the sun hit her back.

"Oh brother. Speaking of brothers…where's Ryu-kun and Daisuke-kun?" Akane looked around for her two brothers but caught no sight of them.

"Oh here comes Daisuke-kun now. Come on Yugi-chan, no sense in you getting all wrinkled." Kouin said as she picked up the chibi-Nibi out of the pool.

"Where's Daisuke…oh no!" Akane looked skyward to see her brother coming full speed towards the pool…ready for what could be a…

"ATOMIC CANNONBALL!!!!!!" Daisuke screamed as he slammed full speed into the deep end of the pool, causing a minor…well major tidal wave. One of which had Ryukotsusei on top surfing like he normally does.

"RIGHTEOUS!! RIGHTEOUS!!!" Ryukotsusei yelled as he rode the wave on his surfboard. Of course the wave was so big, it practically drained the pool, drenched everyone, and managed to form a small lake about a mile away. Of course when Inuyasha got caught up in the wave, he tried doggie paddling through it, luckily getting over most of the wave…but…things are always being recorded for the camera.

"DAISUKE!!!!" Akane and Mai screamed as they were both completely drenched.

"Holy cow dude! That was nuts! Do it again!!" Tsukune cheered over the cannonball.

"Lil' bro…that was one most excellent wave! I name that the Turtle Cannonball!" Ryukotsusei calmly said as he walked back to meet his brothers. "One of your best dude."

"Well, I do aim to do my best." Daisuke said with a smile. "Though I think I could have made it bigger if I adjusted my angle of entry.

"Eh, was still a big one." Hiroshi said. "Hey where did mutt boy go?"

"Hey did you see it! I was swimming! I was swimming!!!" Inuyasha said in excitement as he ran to his brothers. Of course when everyone saw him, it wasn't the reaction he expected.

"Ew!!! That's just wrong!" Mai quickly turned to cover her eyes while Akane was giggling the whole time.

"What, that I was swimming?"

"Uh I don't think that's what they were talking about little dude." Ryukotsusei said as he pointed downward.

"Huh?" Inuyasha looked down only to find…his shorts were floating on the water.

"Might wanna tie them better next time dude." Ryukotsusei said as Inuyasha grabbed his shorts and bolted back to his room.

(End Clip)

"Go ahead, I know you're gonna do it, so just get it over with." Inuyasha mumbled while Kimiko and Kagome tried to keep from laughing…but couldn't.

"I didn't think those cheeks of yours could be that cute Inuyasha." Kagome snickered.

"Cute…forget that! I still can't believe he was dumb enough to forget to tie his shorts!" Kimiko burst out laughing.

"Well, it was my first time swimming! Give me a break ok!" Inuyasha retorted. "And that never would have happened if it wasn't for Daisuke's stupid cannonball!"

"Yeah right." Tsukune whispered to Hiroshi.

"Now now boys, everyone has their embarrassing moments. What about the time you two ran into those twin girls back in Lightning Country? Didn't I remember something about tomato sauce and meatballs everywhere?" Kouin commented, causing Hiroshi and Tsukune to freeze in their tracks.

"MOM!!" whined the Ichibi and Yonbi.

"Wait, what happened there?" asked Naruto.

"Oh those two, they wanted to impress these girls they met, so they treated them to dinner. Well needless to say, it ended up with the girls laughing and the boys covered in tomato sauce." Kouin replied, causing everyone else to laugh like crazy. "But enough about that. Kyoji-kun, Riyu-chan, and Tenten-chan should be here any minute."

"And how do you…" Naruto asked when Kouin opened the door to reveal Tenten, Kyoji, and Riyu. "Oh yeah…forgot about the whole time thing."

"Oh Naruto, you're so silly." Kouin laughed as she welcomed in the three nekomata.

"So I take it this is what the big surprise is?" Kyoji said. "So what's going on here?"

"Home movies. Lots of parental embarrassment." Natsumi said. "Take up a seat and watch the chaos."

"Nothing wrong with that. So who's next up on the chopping block?"

"Hmm…you know I do remember that little shot of Makoto and Shinja back when I had the two of them switch outfits for a day." Kouin said, causing the Rokubi and Hachibi to freeze in their tracks.

"For all that is merciful, PLEASE do not show that movie!!!" Shinja pleaded in fear.

"Seriously mom, can't you show something else! I mean…that was just…ugh!" Makoto added.

"Sorry girls. Now where was that video…oh darn, I forgot it!" Kouin sighed.

"Whew!" Shinja and Makoto let out a sigh of relief since they didn't have to watch their embarrassment.

"Oh don't worry, I'll just have someone bring it to me." Kouin snapped her finger and a portal soon opened. Of course who stepped out was another story…

"No way! That…but I saw…" Tenten went wide eyed when she saw who stepped out.

"Ok now either I'm seeing things or I'm just like Ten-chan over there!" Kasumi's jaw nearly hit the floor when she saw who was standing there.

"Who are you talking about? It's just some guy that looks like Kyoji." Naruto said with no concern.

"Naruto you idiot, don't you remember that mission we took in Ame! What did Ten-chan get there!!!" Kasumi tried to remind Naruto, but soon realized that wasn't going to work.

"Um, not sure. It's been a long time since then." Naruto said, causing Kasumi to groan.

"That's her first boyfriend Kazuki, you idiot!" Kasumi said, though Naruto still didn't get it.

"Kazuki-kun! I thought you were gone forever!" Tenten instantly grabbed him and started squeezing the life out of him.

"Not really Ten-chan. Seems Kouin-sama had more use for me than I thought. After I sealed the Orechalkos, she recruited me to be a Time Watcher." Kazuki said as Tenten released him. "Though I have to say, I like the cat ears better than the fox ones. Are these real?"

"Of course silly! Oh, look at me. I'm going on and on and…well, Kyoji get up here!" Tenten said to her boyfriend. "Kyoji-kun, Kazuki-kun. Kazuki-kun, Kyoji-kun."

"So, this is the famed Kazuki that I was told about. Not bad in the looks department." Kyoji replied. "I see Ten-chan has good taste."

"I can say the same thing. Good to know Ten-chan's in good hands. Though I do wish I could have been there when you had to change her diapers for a while." Kazuki chuckled.

"YOU SAW THAT!!!" Tenten said in pure embarrassment.

"Well of course. As a Time Watcher, I can watch all of the events of the past. You are quite a cute little kitten you know." Kazuki replied. "But I can't stay long. A Time Watcher's job is never done." He reached in his pouch and pulled out the video that Kouin requested. "Here you go Kouin-sama."

"Thank you Kazuki-kun. I'll be returning soon." Kouin said as she took the video.

"Very well. Well, nice to see you all again. Kasumi-chan, Naruto, tell Hinata and Sasuke I said hi." Kazuki said as the portal opened behind him. "And Ten-chan…"

"Kazuki-kun, now I can truly sleep well at night, knowing you are ok. Thank you so much for that time long ago." Tenten held on to Kazuki as much as possible.

"Always know that I will be watching over you from beyond time. I hope to see all the great memories that you and Kyoji create together." Kazuki replied. "And Kyoji, take good care of this one."

"As always man." Kyoji said.

Just before Kazuki entered the portal, Tenten gave him one final hug and kissed him goodbye, knowing that he was still alive. "Take care Kazuki-kun."

"You do the same, princess." Kazuki smiled as he entered the portal beyond time.

"I knew he was a good choice for the Time Watcher job." Kouin said as the portal closed. "He kept telling me all about you Tenten-chan. But let's get to the real fun, namely this little clip."

"Great." Shinja and Makoto groaned over the fact that their embarrassment was nigh.

(Clip 3-Occurs when Makoto and Shinja got in a very compromising situation.)

"I am NOT coming out like this!!!" Makoto yelled from her room. "No way! No how!"

"Oh come on Koto-chan, you know your mother wanted to see you like this. It's not often that she asks of something like this." Kami said from the hall.

"Dad, why does she want me looking like this! It's so…girly!" Makoto whined.

"Well…you are a girl after all." Kami replied. "That and you and Shinja did lose that bet to Akane and Mai."

"Fine." Makoto opened the door and walked out into the hallway. "But if they start laughing at me, I get to freeze them, right?"

"We'll think about that." Kami replied.

Of course that was only half of it. Shinja was just in as much misery as her older sister!

"Daddy!!! Why do I have to look like this? I'm a princess; I don't wear rags like this!" Shinja complained at her outfit.

"But you lost the bet honey. Look it's only for a day, that's all. Then you can put on your wonderful dresses all over again." Kami said, trying to calm the young Hachibi.

"I still don't like this." Shinja sulked her way to the living room where everything would commence.


"So what is this so called bet you had with your sisters?" Kouin asked.

"Well, the bet was that if Mai could fall for a prank in broad daylight, then Makoto and Shinja had to do whatever I wanted. After Daisuke proved that she could, it was in the bag." Akane said, causing Mai to remember the incident when she got locked in the meat freezer.

"Please don't remind me about that Akane." Mai said, feeling even worse that she fell for something like that.

"So now, what we did was have Shinja and Makoto switch places for one day." Akane explained.

"You mean to tell me…" Kouin said as her other two daughters entered the room.

"Yep. Shinja has to be the tomboy fighter, while Makoto had to wear a pretty dress!" Akane said as Mai started laughing at the two.

"I do not believe this! I have been trying to get Makoto into a dress for years!" Kouin said as she looked upon Makoto wearing an ice blue sundress. She even had her hair straightened, and had a blue ribbon in it as well. The kicker was the fact that she was even wearing a light shade of lip gloss and some very light makeup as well, making her look quite beautiful. "Makoto dear, you look adorable!"

"I look like a girl." Makoto grumbled.

"You are one honey, but you're so pretty! I love how you put that ribbon in your hair, and you're even wearing makeup! Oh you're starting to grow up to be a beautiful young woman!" Kouin said while she was taking snapshots.

"MOM!!! I'm a fighter, not some princess!!!" Makoto complained at the pictures.

"Yeah, that's my job! And I want it back!" Shinja added to the complaint as she was now dressed in a battle gi. "I hate these clothes! I feel like I'm going to start sweating any minute now!"

"And look at you little Shinja. See I knew you weren't a stuck up little princess." Kouin continued with the pictures. "Now show me some poses, I have a lot of film to burn!"

"MOM!!!" Shinja and Makoto whined.

(End Clip)

"So what's the plan to get that video?" Makoto whispered to Shinja.

"I dunno, but we gotta get it! It can't see the light of day anymore!" Shinja replied.

"Sorry girls, I have more copies of this hidden and you'll never know where." Kouin said, causing the two to groan in misery again. "But I've had a good visit."

"Aw, you have to go Grammy Kouin?" asked Akemi.

"I do Akemi-chan. Being the Goddess of Time is a lot of work, making sure that everything stays running smoothly. But what's to say I won't be back for the holidays." Kouin replied. "Now all of you get up here and give your grandmother a big hug!"

One by one all of the kids said their farewells and embraced Kouin, happy to have finally met her. She then turned her focus to her nine children.

"Now I could embarrass you more, but I think I've done enough. Also, I didn't really like where you, Tsukune, and Hiroshi were staying Shinja-chan, so I stepped in for a bit." Kouin said. "Seriously, that place looked like a sewer."

"Wait, so…we're here physically now?" asked the Hachibi. "No more summoning?"

"No more summoning. And don't ask me how you're going to defeat Madara; you know I never reveal the future." Kouin said. "But I want all of you to take care of yourselves ok."

"We will mother." Daisuke replied. "Have a safe trip back."

"I'll be home in no time…literally. Oh and before I forget. Kasumi-chan, I have some advice for your upcoming trial." Kouin said. "You should know that the key to your victory lies inside."

"Uh, ok…but what does that mean?" asked Kasumi.

"You'll know in time. Bye everyone!" And in less than a blink of an eye, Kouin was gone, back to the ends of time.

"Ok I don't know about you, but I need some recovery after that embarrassment session!" Inuyasha grumbled. "Hey Arashi, get out all the sake you got!"

"For once…I think I'll join you on this Inuyasha." Mai said.

"So Kasumi-chan, any ideas on what Kouin-baa-chan meant?" asked Naruto.

"No clue. I guess I should think on it for a while." Kasumi said as she took Kouin's words to heart.

Now on the other side of the country back in Ame…

"Argh! Just what the hell is going on! It's bad enough that I lose two of my Akatsuki, Konan is freed from my mind control, the Illumina Knights now have all of the Hoshi no Tama, and now the three Bijuu I had sealed are gone?" Madara roared in anger. "Pein, what the hell is going on here!"

"That I am unsure of Madara-sama. We detected no intruders in the base." Pein replied.

"Itachi must have had something to do with this. They will all pay for this travesty." Madara said as he composed himself. "But it doesn't matter. Now we need to work on our new goal."

"And what would that be Madara-sama?" asked the Rinnegan wielder.

"By now the Illumina Knights already know of my plan to take control of the other Great Ninja Villages and have by now formulated a plan to stop that. So instead we shall work on something else." Madara took out a scroll and opened it, revealing his plan. "It seems capturing the Bijuu is too much trouble, so we'll only work on capturing one…the Kyuubi. While we do that, we work on simply draining the energy from the other bijuu. With the Kyuubi and the energy from the others, we'll soon have enough energy to complete our goal…the revival of Lord Yami!"

"The God of Reality! But he's the Third Great Deity that was supposedly sealed into the underworld by the God Kami and Goddess Kouin!" Pein said in shock.

"Exactly. Once he is unsealed, I will claim his power as my own, and we will destroy the Illumina Knights once and for all!!!" Madara laughed insanely. "Then I will destroy Kami and Kouin as well, and I shall become the ultimate god of Time, Space, and Reality!!!"Yep! They finally met...Grandma Kouin!!!!! As if things couldn't get more insane! And now that Daisuke's daughter Nabiki has joined the hanyou bunch, just what's in store for the chibi turtle...and namely another kitsune hanyou from another dimension! And what's Madara's new plan to unseal and take the power of the 3rd Great Deity? Things are about to get heated! As always Read, Review, and tell everyone else you know to do the same thing!

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