"Taehyung Sshi." I heard someone call my name. I was too tired to answer them. I didn't care. Sleep was the luxury I couldn't afford to lose, especially when the tour was around the corner.
I woke up, around eight in the evening, it was my dietician. She always had something to make me angry today is not the day. Im not going to listen to her. I gave a tour coming up and she thinks she can stop me from having my extra ten minutes of sleep. Not today.
"Taehyung Sshi. I have something important to tell you. Please wake up."
If I opened my eyes now I would lose sleep. I can not have that. Not right now. She can scream a little longer and she'll leave eventually.
I woke up to my alarm. It was five am now. I had to get dressed, and at eight I have to be there for a fan meeting. Three hours of unending smiles, a cascade of faces, everyone saying the same thing over and over again. Rarely someone would come up with something that was way above normal. I can still remember her face, a simple girl with healthy tanned skin and long silky hair. She was an Indian, she could handle spice, unlike those Americans who fed on tasteless bread day in and day out.
What we had was a beautiful relationship that was good, one until it lasted. I looked at myself in the mirror. She loved me not because I was Kim Taehyung from BTS, she loved me because I was Kim Taehyung the son of a farmer who had a dream. Every time I think of myself my heart tightens and I can still feel butterflies inside my stomach. I could hear my stylist and photographer already there. I took my time in the bathroom. Sometimes all I ever want is a silent place with no one. Just me and my thoughts. But as a global superstar, I can never afford that luxury.
I looked at my dead eyes, I forced myself to smile. I had to look like I had everything in my life. I walked out of the bathroom, just to feel something out of place their smiles were not right and they were very bad actors.
I didn't know if I should ask them or play it cool. Playing it cool seemed like a better option. I had too much on my plate to worry about other people's problems. Not today satan, not today.
Three hours, twenty-five outfits, seven hairstyles hundreds of photos later I was ready to meet the Army.
I walked out, and met my Secretary, "Taehyung Sshi meet and greet is at the basement banquet hall." I nodded and walked straight to the venue. Followed by eight security guards and five staff, felt extremely uncomfortable but I had to get used to it. I didn't have a choice.
I was walking through the lobby when an unusually familiar looked at me. We caught the eyes of each other for barely a second. But that face, where have I seen it. I had to find out.
I turned back but I was already too far away from the lobby and going back was not an option. I went my way, I was stopped by my dietician. What did she want right now? " Taehyung Sshi. I have something important to tell you."
I did not have the energy to handle her. "I will talk to you after the fan meets not now." Just in time, the elevator arrived and I was away from her nagging. As an idol, I had to watch what I ate, how I walked, what I wore, and what I said. I could not even sneeze in peace. What a Time to be alive.
Throughout the whole day, the face I saw in the lobby kept me occupied. I was troubled. My publicist walked up to me, "Taehyung Sshi, you have to look alive and smile at the guests." He growled at my ear. While keeping a smiling face. I rolled my eyes internally. And for the rest of the day, I blocked out my thoughts and feelings. And smiled. For the endless pictures.
My sides hurt, but still, I smiled.
Four long hours later. I had a break. I could eat something. I looked for food. All I had to eat was a protein bar. I looked at it. And I ate it without a second thought. I thought about the delicious Samgyeopsal and soju as I munched on my tasteless protein bar. And water, I drank a bottle of it and walked back to my stage, where I put an act of smiles.
Interaction with the Army was my favorite part, but today I was too tired t to enjoy it. I could not help it. If I had something filling to eat and a whole night's sleep I will be human. I was holding on to the thought.
I walked out completely exhausted, I had to meet my dietician I had been ignoring her for too long. I walked into her room, she was talking to someone over the phone. She motioned me to sit. I sat down and waited for her to finish her call.
The moment she hung up her face turned concerned. I was worried, whatever she was going to tell me was bad news I could feel it. "Taehyung sshi. I have bad news."
I knew it. What is it about?
"There is a five-year-old child in the lobby claiming to be your daughter."
I laughed. No way. I don't have a daughter. I can't have a daughter.
"You can't believe a five-year-old?"
"That was why I sent her for a DNA test and the results came up just now."
"What did the result say?" My voice shaking. I couldn't believe my ears at all. And there was no way I had a child, I had no idea existed for five years.
"Taehyung Sshi. The results say that she's your daughter."
The last three words rang in my ears.
SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER.
The whole world around me became a blurry mess.