A/N: Wow. Thirty chapters. 350 reviews. I never thought this little story would make it this far. I was expecting, like, fifteen chapters. At the most. But we've still got a while to go, so hang in there! Thank you so much to my reviews, new and old. You all get M&M cookies because they're happy cookies.
Chapter Thirty: Stalker Much?
The Gryffindor common room…
Mr. Moony is convinced this is a bad idea.
Mr. Wormtail is in complete agreement. This is a bad idea.
Come on guys! It will be fun.
Mr. Wormtail does suppose there's no going back now.
Mr. Moony thinks we could just ignore Mr. Padfoot.
Nooooooo! Don't leave me! I'll be lonely!
Mr. Wormtail won't leave. It's not like he has anything better to do with his Saturday night.
Mr. Padfoot knows someone who has something good to do with his Saturday night…
Prongs of course!
Mr. Moony supposes he'll stay.
Mr. Padfoot had thought so.
Mr. Moony requests that Mr. Padfoot not begin his thought in the middle. We have no clue what you're talking about.
Mr. Padfoot knew Mr. Moony secretly desires to hear all about this date.
Mr. Moony certainly does not!
Yes you do. You just don't want to admit it. So you're going to act like Wormy and I are forcing you into this when you're really at perfect liberty to leave at any time.
Mr. Moony doesn't think Mr. Padfoot is making any sense at all.
Mr. Padfoot is too making sense. Mr. Moony just doesn't want to admit that I'm right.
Mr. Wormtail wishes Mr. Padfoot would get to the point of this venture rather than start more pointless arguments with Mr. Moony.
Mr. Moony would be happy not to argue with Mr. Padfoot anymore.
Mr. Padfoot obliges gladly.
Mr. Padfoot is sitting in the corner of The Three Broomsticks—
Mr. Wormtail wishes to applaud Mr. Prongs for his creativity.
Mr. Padfoot begs Mr. Wormtail to be quiet. Do you want to hear or not?
Anyway, Mr. Padfoot is about five feet away from our targets—
Mr. Moony wishes Mr. Padfoot wouldn't call Prongs and Lily "targets". We're not hunting them.
AHA! You said "we"! I was RIGHT!
Mr. Moony didn't mean it literally…
Mr. Wormtail inquires how else it could be meant.
Mr. Moony… never mind. Continue, Padfoot.
It seems that they're just eating and talking. Mr. Padfoot would get closer to them, but he fears they might hear the scratching of his quill and grow suspicious.
So you can't hear what they're saying?
Mr. Padfoot is sorry to say that, no, he cannot. They're sitting quite close together and talking quietly anyway, so moving closer might not even help. It would only get me caught.
Mr. Moony thinks Mr. Padfoot is a rather lousy stalker if he can only watch them from a distance.
Mr. Padfoot doesn't think he's a stalker.
You're following them around under an invisibility cloak, Padfoot. You're stalking them.
No, I'm not.
Mr. Wormtail begs Mr. Padfoot to remember Prongs' behavior towards Miss Evans last year.
Yeah, I remember. What about it?
That was stalking. Therefore what you're doing now is stalking.
Ah. Fine. I'm stalking them. But who made Moony the stalking guru?
Mr. Moony doesn't know what Mr. Padfoot means by that.
Mr. Wormtail believes Mr. Padfoot doesn't believe Mr. Moony has the right to tell him he's a bad stalker.
Mr. Moony is just surprised that after talking non-stop about stalking them on a date ever since they got together, Mr. Padfoot would try harder to be able to hear them.
Mr. Wormtail supposes this is surprising.
Mr. Padfoot admits it. This isn't as exciting as I thought it would be.
Mr. Moony wants to go bang his head against a wall.
Mr. Wormtail thinks that sounds painful. He wishes Mr. Moony wouldn't.
Mr. Moony was expressing his exasperation. He's not actually going to bash his head on a wall.
Mr. Padfoot thinks he's going to head back up to the castle now.
Mr. Moony is preparing his "I told you so" for when Mr. Padfoot returns.
Mr. Padfoot asks Mr. Moony to keep it to himself. He's ashamed enough as it is.
Mr. Wormtail is going to bed. Good night. And thanks for the disappointing evening, Padfoot.
It wasn't my fault!
Mr. Moony is leaving as well. He does have homework to do.
I told you so.
I told you so. I've beaten you to saying it. You're only leaving because I'm coming back. So there. You wanted to hear about Prongs' date.
You know what, Padfoot? Shut up.
Mr. Padfoot bids his friends goodnight. I'll be back in twenty or so.
Mr. Prongs would like to say that he and Lily found that exchange rather amusing. Just put the Cloak back where you found it, Padfoot.
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Love you all and thank you for being so supportive and faithful with this story.