S Snape and the 349th Biweekly Meeting
A/N: Lovely, another chapter! This one's a bit silly and action-filled. But aren't they all silly? Enjoy!
Thanks to everyone who's favorited or followed. And extra special thanks and homemade cheesecake to my reviewers. You guys are awesome.
Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic
Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold
Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain
Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic
Chapter Seven: Severus Snape and the 349th Biweekly Meeting
Mr. Padfoot now calls to order the 349th biweekly meeting of the Marauders. All Messrs present, please say "aye". Aye.
Mr. Moony wonders why we're having this meeting in the middle of Potions of all places.
Mr. Padfoot recognizes Mr. Prongs and Mr. Wormtail.
Mr. Moony wishes to be recognized.
Mr. Padfoot is irked by a small buzzing in his "ear". He hopes said buzzing (cough—Mr. Moony) will go away if he tells it that Messrs can only be recognized if they have said "aye".
Mr. Padfoot is pleased to report full attendance at this illustrious meeting.
Mr. Wormtail would like to echo Mr. Moony's query about the location of this meeting.
Mr. Padfoot had thought that would be obvious.
Quiet Prongs. We're meeting here for security reasons. If we meet in the same place all the time, someone will find us.
Mr. Moony wonders who is looking.
Mr. Prongs begs Mr. Moony not to be silly. Hogwarts is full of pranksters just dying to know our secrets.
Mr. Moony would like to remind Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs that no one else can get into the Gryffindor boys' dormitory.
Mr. Prongs objects. This is not true. Any Gryffindor can get into our dorm. Nothing is private.
Well, Potions class is certainly less private than our dorm.
Mr. Prongs wonders if there is actually a purpose to this meeting.
Mr. Wormtail wonders if there is actually a purpose to any of our meetings.
Mr. Prongs thinks that now it is Mr. Wormtail who is being silly. All of our meetings have good outcomes.
Yes! None of our great works of mischief would have happened without our meetings.
Mr. Moony would like to remind everyone that we rarely start meetings with the objective of planning a prank. Such things usually happen because we have nothing else to discuss.
Except for Moony's desperate need for a girlfriend.
To answer Mr. Prongs' question, Mr. Padfoot called this meeting to order now so that he doesn't have to hold it tonight in the dorm.
Going to meet Marlene?
Mr. Moony is surprised Mr. Padfoot and Miss McKinnon are still together.
Mr. Padfoot resents that.
Mr. Prongs is a bit worried that this meeting is too public.
Mr. Padfoot points out that everyone else is busy with their work and paying no attention to us.
Mr. Wormtail has found an exception to this: Mr. Greasy-in-the-Back is staring at us again.
Mr. Moony begs his friends not to do anything stupid to Mr. Snape.
Mr. Padfoot promises not to do anything stupid. Funny? Yes. Stupid? No.
Mr. Moony is skeptical. Most things Mr. Padfoot does to be funny don't end well. He is nervous about collateral damage on innocent bystanders.
Then Mr. Moony has nothing to worry about for he is neither innocent nor a bystander.
Mr. Moony resents that.
Mr. Prongs suggests that they distract Snivellus from watching them.
Mr. Prongs has read Mr. Padfoot's mind.
Mr. Moony refuses to take part in torturing Mr. Snape.
Mr. Moony is a prefect. He will not take part in childish name-calling nor the torturing of another student.
Mr. Wormtail wonders why Mr. Moony doesn't just stop Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs.
Mr. Moony has tried that method in the past. It doesn't work. Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are law unto themselves.
Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Moony's assessment. Mischief stops for no man.
Mr. Moony is appalled by Mr. Padfoot's slaughter of a perfectly good quote.
Mr. Prongs recognizes that this argument is going nowhere. If we don't get started, the bell will ring before Snivellus even notices what we've done to him.
Mr. Padfoot relents. Mr. Prongs is correct.
Mr. Prongs has an idea.
Mr. Wormtail wishes Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs would share with the group instead of whispering amongst themselves.
Yes. Mr. Moony would like to know whether or not he should take cover while he still can.
Mr. Prongs sees no reason for anyone to take cover.
Except Mr. Snape.
Not even him.
Mr. Padfoot accepts Mr. Prongs' brill idea.
Mr. Wormtail wishes they would get on with actually telling him the plan.
Mr. Prongs suggests that we use a simple Color Change Charm on dear old Snivellus' potion a few seconds after he adds an ingredient.
Mr. Moony suspects unforeseen consequences to this.
Mr. Padfoot is confident. Snivellus won't suspect anything.
Mr. Moony just wishes for Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs to be careful and cautious. Remember, Potions is Mr. Snape's best subject.
Mr. Wormtail also begs Mr. Moony to stop being such a worrywart.
[Five minutes later.]
Mr. Prongs thinks that was brilliant. Did you see his face?
Mr. Padfoot is grateful for his superior acting skills. He wants to be dying of laughter on the floor right now instead of standing serenely next to his cauldron.
Mr. Moony maintains that that stunt was cruel.
Mr. Wormtail congratulates Mr. Prongs and Mr. Padfoot on another success.
[On his way past, Snape runs into James, almost knocking him over.]
Mr. Padfoot is amused by Mr. Snape's clumsiness.
Mr. Prongs is not so amused. Now he's all covered in Snivellus grease.
Mr. Moony has… ah, forgotten to get enough… um, toad liver.
[Remus hurries across the room to the supply cabinet.]
Mr. Wormtail is confused. Mr. Moony just went to get more toad liver five minutes ago. We have more than enough sitting right here.
[James' cauldron explodes, covering James, Sirius, and Peter in unfinished Hair Raising Potion. Professor Slughorn assigns James an essay and everyone else goes back to work.]
Mr. Prongs is quite cross with Mr. Moony.
NOOOOOOO! MY HAIR!
Mr. Moony is amused by the effects of Mr. Prongs' half-finished potion on him and Mr. Padfoot.
Mr. Wormtail thinks Mr. Padfoot is only improved with bleach-blond hair.
Mr. Padfoot is horrified. What will he tell Marlene? Will she even still love him without his silky black locks?
Just think, Padfoot. Now you'll fit in perfectly with your dear cousin Narcissa. You too Prongs.
Mr. Wormtail is glad his hair was already blond.
Shut up Wormtail. This is tragic.
Mr. Prongs sends accusatory glares in Mr. Moony's general direction.
Mr. Moony wonders why Mr. Prongs is cross with him.
You knew that was going to happen.
You knew the cauldron was about to explode. That's why you came up with some lame excuse to go get more toad liver when you have enough right here.
Mr. Moony pleads the right to remain silent.
Mr. Padfoot is puzzled as to why Mr. Prongs' potion exploded at all. Mr. Prongs is usually very good at Potions.
Yes, Mr. Prongs also wonders what happened. What do you think Moony? You're usually good at this sort of thing.
Yeah, Prongs is right. How did you know it was going to explode, Moony?
When Snape bumped into Prongs, he was only doing that to cover it up. He dropped a handful of ginger petals into Prongs' cauldron. The python venom we were using earlier reacts violently with the petals if not countered by the toad liver. He must have known you hadn't added that yet, Prongs.
Snivellus! That greasy snake!
We've always known Snivellus was brilliant at Potions.
And you can't say I didn't warn you.
Mr. Padfoot believes there is only one way to deal with this: revenge.
And here we go again.
A/N: Longest chapter yet! But I hope you liked it!
Until next week! Love and hugses :)