We're one disorderedly happy family

Dangerous Yazoo

Chapter IV: Dangerous Yazoo (Or Yazoo has finally snapped.)

After another crazy twisting and turning along the deep, dark tunnel of wonderfully giddy slider, Yazoo finally arrived at the notorious quarter of the Gold Saucer that was Event Square. Notorious because that was it. And the first thing that came to our beloved silver haired-gunman's mind was… there was no Loz even though this was the last place he hadn't searched.

Where is he?

There was a chance that they had crossed path and Loz was wandering somewhere where he had already been before. Yazoo frowned, deeply. This was it. If he couldn't find that cry baby, this was his last attempt of searching. No more of those evil, heartless and ever-winding sliders. It wasn't that he didn't care about his brother but enough was enough. Kadaj could come out and enjoy the rides while continuing his unfinished task later if he wanted to.

Well, at least, it wasn't too bad having him missing tonight now that there were only three beds in their room.

Still, anyway, he had to search this place first before going back.

Sighing inwardly, the silver haired-gunman made his way toward the fancy archway. Yet as he took each step, closer and closer, Yazoo felt something nagging at the back of his mind but he couldn't exactly place it. It was like…it was there but when he tried to reach an arm out to touch it, it wasn't.

It was obviously weekend at that time as the bloody rag doll at the inn had said and it was very crowded as many, many people of many, many different types – even those exhibitionism ones, namely Mukki's group, walking around in just briefs, showing off their over-size muscles – could be seen everywhere, so it was a benefit to them that their exotic colored hair didn't attract too much attention.

Hell, it even wasn't weird to them that lots of Chubby Chocobos were parading around like they were ordinary people…

"Congratulation!" Like usual, the man standing just beside the archway chirped his memorable dialogue. "You're the fiftieth couple of tonight!"

Yazoo's eyebrows arched up in surprised mimic of the lovely archway itself. As far as him, in his sanity recalled, he had been alone all the hard way here. Still, that feeling that was constantly nagging at the back of his mind seemed to pound louder and louder at the moment… And loudest it almost gave him a heart attack as he turned…

And saw a snow-white Chubby Chocobo standing oh-so-adorably proud in all its chubbiness' glory just behind him.


"Yazoo sure has been long, hasn't he?" Kadaj wondered out loud as he sat comfortably on the soft bed, both of his hands busy with something. Big bright cat-like eyes were very careful and focused.

"He has." said Sephiroth monotonously, sitting quite still on the very same bed with his little brother with his back toward him. He was doing nothing in particular as he was…just sitting there.

"You think we should go check on him a lil' bit?"

"He'll be just fine." Sephiroth answered calmly.

"Hmm…we should have raided the mobile phone shop too, don't you think?"

"…Haven't thought of that." came a thoughtful answer.

The younger one then became silent as he went back to concentrate on perfecting his final task.


Yazoo questioned his own sanity for the hundredth time that night. As far as him, in his sanity, which he wasn't so certain he was still having right now, recalled, it was Sephiroth who was officially declared insane. Yet even if he was still sane and that his impressive memory didn't fail him, it didn't answer the question of why this snow-white, chubby, Chubby Chocobo had been so attracted to him like a hungry baby wanting some fresh milk from its tender mother. It seemed to love following him everywhere.

Even now that he was regrettably in a dressing room.

"Why do you keep following me?" He asked aloud while glaring darkly at the Chubby Chocobo.

The Chubby Chocobo just stood there, looking back at him with the most innocent if not dullest expression in the world.

The silver haired-man sneaked a look at himself in the mirror before reverting his gaze back on the chubbiness, inclining his head a little. "Oh, so you're lost. Like that stupid Loz."

The Chubby Chocobo hit Yazoo's on the head not-so-kindly with a mop, which happened to just lie against the wall beside the door next to where it was standing. The mop cracked into two pieces the instant it connected with the feminine-looking man's silvery head. It wasn't really proven that the mop was too old it easily broke or that Yazoo was a stubborn head…or had a…very endurable skull under the prettiness, sadly, though.

Anyway, the attacked man seemed pretty fine after the hit as he regained his former standing posture…and chuckled—that same old evil chuckle he had when caressing his precious guns.

It seemed even the Chubby Chocobo didn't want to be compared with Loz.

At least, that was what Yazoo thought…at the moment.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Someone was knocking at the door. And not asking for the insider's permission, a blonde woman dressed all in black—her attire was quite revealing, I must say—opened the door and greeted him with a charming smile on her glossed lips. "Are you ready?" She asked, training appreciative eyes on him.

Abruptly, Yazoo quitted his evil chuckling. Turning back to take a good look at himself one last time in the mirror, he ran a hand to his silvery hair. If they wanted him to pull a stunt, he'd better show them how dangerous he could be.

The snow-white Chubby Chocobo stared dumbly at its supposed mother, taking a step back as Yazoo began again his trademark evil chuckle.


It was all dark as the last couples of people coming to see the special show entered the place and took their seats. The seats, unlike any other time, were full and those less fortunate people who wanted to see this show gathered behind the metal bar that kept them separated just to have a glimpse at what wonderful thing that was going to be up there, on the stage.

It should have been normal, like any other night, when the man at the archway declared the fiftieth couple of that night to participate in the play. Yet distorted words started to get out as one blonde, charming woman who happened to be the new manager there had an attraction to one certain silver haired-young man whose lovely green eyes captivated her more than anything and decided to over-advertise it.

When the silence peaked the bleakest and when the audiences couldn't become more suspicious, different shades of spotlight illuminated the stage, along with a sound of music that, at first, was quite soft but then the volume was turned to full blast. And there, in the middle of the stage, fancy legged microphone with him was Yazoo in his favorite leather attire.

Shizuka ni sora ni kaeru anata no sugata wo

In his surprisingly deep, rich voice, Yazoo began.

"What else can I do besides avenge you?"

Even more surprising, the snow-white Chubby Chocobo that had followed him up the stage sang…in human language, which, of course, no one expected it was able to.

Namida ga kareru made zutto mitsumeteita

Afureru kanashimi wa kesenai kizuato ni

Wasure wa shinaito chikatta

The powerful sound of the drum erupted. And louder, with more emotion and feeling put into it, Yazoo thumped one of his feet against the clean floor, raising a finger up.

Oreta tsubasa wo habatakase

Subete wo keshite miseyou

Itsu no hi ka owari wo mukaeru

Saigo no kane ga nari yamu made

His rich voice boomed through the speakers and the audiences cheered while most females squealed at the sight of his slightly moving hips.

"You told me

Live as if you were to die tomorrow

Feel as if you were to be reborn now

Face as if you were to live forever"

The Chubby Chocobo rapped in the background as the bright spotlights flashed.

Furueru yubi de akai namida wo nazotta

Yazoo's voice became softer now as he tilted his head, lowering his long lashes.

"I had nothing to lose, nothing truth"

The Chubby Chobobo sang in return with a straight face. Because it was the only face it could make.

Hakanai omoide ga yami ni ochite yuku

It was Yazoo's turn again.

Saigo no hohoemi ga ukandewa kieru

Nukumori dake wo nokoshite

Once again, the silver haired-man tapped his foot, tossing his long hair back. Light bounced off the flowing silver strands, making him look even more dazzling.

Yasashii dake no kotoba nara

Ima no boku wa iyasenai

Hateshinaku tsuzuku tatakai ni

Kono mi wo subete sasageru dake

Once again, his voice had taken on the softer tone as he slowly drew a hand into the air as if reaching for something he couldn't. The gesture and the expression on the singer's face was enough to break some sensitive audiences' hearts.

Itsuka wa kono sora ni daremo ga kaeru kara

Wakare no kotoba wa iranai

The light went on and off, on and off as it was the instruments' turn to sing theiron their own without vocal.That was until the music peaked again.

"Make it up"

Pouring pure emotions into their echoing voice, together, Yazoo with his enticing hips swaying and the Chubby Chocobo with its dumb, straight face,they sang:

Oreta tsubasa wo habatakase

Subete wo keshite miseyou

Itsu no hi ka owari wo mukaeru

Saigo no kane ga nari yamu made

Yasashii dake no kotoba nara

Ima no boku wa iyasenai

Hateshinaku tsuzuku tatakai ni

Kono mi wo subete sasageru dake

The majority of the audiences' eyes were glued to Yazoo like, had Sephiroth been there he would have said, someone had used Hojo's FAG on them as the young gunman lifted the microphone up and cried into it the very last heart-moving phrase, shaking his head, letting his sparkling hair do its wondrous magic.


And finally, Event Square's most fantastic show ever ended… Unfortunately, not-so-beautifully as most girls decided to rear their not-so-secret rabid fangirlness. Poor Yazoo didn't really have time to finish wiping droplets of sweat away from his face when he sensed the frightening aura directing toward him. And before those hungry demons could actually strike, our favorite silver haired-gunman threw his microphone aside and quickly fled, running for his life…and celibacy.

Because dangerous indeed Yazoo was. Only this time it wasn't by himself.


The terrifying sound of thousands of rapid, heavy footsteps echoed throughout the whole Gold Saucer. Sephiroth looked up as one of those many sounds came closer and closer toward where they were.

"Didn't he tell us he'll go get just Loz?"

No sooner than Kadaj had asked, the door swung open. It was doubtlessly Yazoo.

The now leather clad man could only stare at his other two brothers in disbelief.

There, sitting on the comfy-looking bed was the legendary Sephiroth…with hair already done into many, many neat, lovely braids. Kadaj was perching on his knees just beside him, the evidence that was a mirror and a golden comb in his possession. And pooling not-so-tidily at the bed's feet were empty packages of already eaten caffeine bars.

"What's with the face?" said Kadaj, shrugging. "We're just bored. Nice costume, by the way."

Yazoo; however, was totally noiseless as he continued to stare. It was the Chubby Chocobo that reminded them of the situation. "Yazoo here has put up quite a show."

Three silvery heads snapped toward the talking thing with widening green eyes.

The Chubby Chocobo looked back at them dumbly, for it could only make one face, before its fat hands reached for its large head and pulled its head off like some old schooled horror movie that could make ordinary people scream like a banshee. Luckily, since the three had a headless Jenova as a mother they weren't frightened…much.

Kadaj gave a start. He jumped and clung to his eldest brother like a little koala bear toa Eucalyptus tree while Yazoo quickly took a step back. Sephiroth was just staring but he already had Masamune materialized in his hand.

"What?" asked Loz. For it was him, wearing the Chubby Chocobo suit. "I was just finding something fun to play with." Or playing along with, in this case.

More heavy footsteps resounded from the nearby Square and again, Loz and Yazoo were reminded of the situation.

"We can't stay here anymore." said Yazoo, walking a little too fast toward where his things were kept. Scooping his precious and their holster first thing first, for his safety, he turned to Sephiroth and nodded toward the Masamune that was still in his grip.

"You'll have to need to use that very soon."

And man, was he right.


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