The Shark and The Weasel

Bloody Valentine

Chapter IV: Bloody Valentine

Rock Lee grinned, looking at his reflection in the mirror while posing his favorite and cool Gai's sensei idly 'nice guy' posture. "Sakura-san, will you be my Valentine? I'll make sure you're the happiest woman in the world. Please..." he blew a kiss to the mirror, "be my Valentine." he finished his speech with a toothy grin and a wink, then smiled to himself. "Perfect!"

He flopped down onto his comfortable green bed that was covered with yellow sheet that had the four infamous Ninja Turtles printed on. He looked at one of the Ninja Turtles, which happened to be his favorite. "That was cool, don't you agree, Michael Angelo?" The cartoon printed on the sheet said nothing in reply yet Lee continued to ask. "Do you think Sakura-san will be impressed?"

Still Silence.

"Yeah. Yeah. I know, it's Valentine day. It would be rather sad if you're rejected." He turned to look at a small flask containing fluid silver liquid that glittered like snowflake that was on the table just next to the bed. "Although I'm grateful, I shouldn't use it. Gai-sensei said love must be deep from the heart. I shouldn't force it, right?" He looked back at Michael Angelo and beamed. "Yes! That's it! Michael Angelo, I'll not-"


"W-what're you doing here?" Lee jumped as two raven-haired boy burst into his room. He pointed a finger at Itachi. "Who're you? Why-mfff" His question was unfinished as he was muffled by Sasuke's hand on his mouth. "Shh. Be quiet."

Itachi peeped through the keyhole of the door and gave his brother a slight nod. That was when Lee was again allowed to speak. "Sasuke-kun, what's going on?"

Sasuke gave him a side-glance before replying: "We're being followed by hordes of rabid fangirls." He shuddered at the memory. "And we're running out of weapon, so we escaped here."

Itachi said nothing for he still couldn't bring himself to believe that the entire weapon Sasuke had in his miracle bag wasn't enough to hold them back. Not even the bazooka, which had left nothing that looked like a body but little shreds of bloody flesh on the Uchiha household's floor that could bring Itachi's massacre legend to shame.

"Why here?" Lee asked, wondering.

"Because I don't think any of them want to com-"

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Give us back our Uchiha!"

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Shit." Both Uchiha cursed in unison as they took out their last ammo-filled machine guns. "In the worst case, we'll have to use the dynamites." said Itachi sternly. And Sasuke nodded in agreement.

"D-d-d-dynamites!?" Lee's eyes bulged. "Those are dangerous! No way, you're going to use them against those helpless girls!"

"Helpless?" Lee quickly shut up when he received two deadly Sharingan glares from the brothers.


The door was now out of the way as hordes of rabid fangirls swarmed into Lee's room like Shino's bugs. And the ever gentleman Rock Lee screamed high pitchly his eyebrows fluttered as some girls stomp on his beloved Michael Angelo. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


The dynamite Itachi had just thrown exploded. Blood splattered all over the green room as more lifeless pieces fell to the green carpet. Raw bloody flesh scattered everywhere from the blow, one piece falling right onto Lee's beloved sheet. "Michael Angelo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" This time the scream was so high-pitched the window glasses broke.

Of all the miseries Uchiha Itachi had encountered in his badass life, things couldn't get even worse when a nearby vengeful soul heard Lee's scream and made its way toward the source at full speed, for it had a feeling that it might find what it was looking for there. Its eyes that glowed with eerie green light shone with hope as it crawled up the stairs, tackling everyone that were in its way. "Just....wait, my love...jussssstttttt waiiiitttttt...."

The army of rabid fangirls that didn't seem to fear death kept sauntering nearer, ignoring Lee who didn't stop screaming, clutching the Ninja Turtles sheet tightly to his chest with sorrowful tears streaming down his cheeks. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Damn. We don't have anymore weapon left." Sasuke said, tossing his useless machine gun aside. His hands started preparing a jutsu yet before he could finish it, the atmosphere darkened. "What the hell?"

Itachi cringed. "Hell no." He muttered, his face losing whatever color it used to have, making him look white like a ghost.

"Monster! Help!" The girls joined Lee in screaming as they ran in different directions to hide otherwise being tackled to death by the newcomer. Kisame glared at Sasuke, baring his sharp teeth menacingly. "Brattttttt! You're not stealing Itachi from me!"


"Don't feign innocent! You slept with him! I'll kill youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"


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