The Shark and The Weasel

The silver potion of doom

Chapter V: The silver potion of doom

"What the-"

Cough. Cough.

"DIE!"

CRASH!

Sasuke's question was cut off when Kisame started throwing everything he could get his hand on toward him. The raven haired-boy dodged as more and more of Lee's precious collection came flying his way.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!"

Kisame's mind flared with anger, furious that the every of his supposed-to-be-deadly blow missed. He growled dangerously in his throat and sweeping the last thing remaining on the table next to the green yet bloodstained bed, he threw it at Sasuke with all his powerful force. Yes, it was nothing else but Lee's flask that contained the strange silver substance inside. Unfortunately, even though the attack was very, very, very, very powerful, it flew toward its target so poorly in a straight line that even the most stupid yet hyperactive blond dobe could evade it easily.

Cough. Cough. Cough. Cough.

CRASH!

As we expected, Sasuke jumped to the right while the offending object crashed with the room's green wall that now had red spots as its new pattern. But the thing we didn't expect was that the fluid silver liquid in the flask splattered. By some sort of sixth sense that he had never known he had, Sasuke somehow knew that the substance was anything but safe. He jumped back just in time before the silver liquid made any contact with his pale skin.

Cough. Cough. Cough. Cough. Cough. Cough.

"Itachi?" He looked at his brother who was now coughing much more violently. It seemed his cold was getting worse and his skin was as white as a ghost.

"DIE!" Kisame roared, now taking out his proud Samehada since he figured it was much more deadly than those supposed-to-be deadly flying objects. Yet what caught more of the younger Uchiha's attention was that Lee had stopped screaming. He turned to the thick-eyebrowed boy and...GASP!

Rock Lee was looking at him with the same expression he had seen in those fangirls...if not worse as those eyes cutely turned heart shaped. Sasuke cringed in fear and dragging his still coughing brother along with him, he quickly jumped out of the window to safe their lives. Not caring if the floor he (or should I say 'they'?) jumped from was indeed the 6th.

"NOOOOOOO! Come back, love! Commmmmmmeeeeeeeee baccccccckkkkkk!"

"Wait! Sasuke-kun, will you be my Valentine?"

Dead silence.

Both love struck males looked at each other...

Blink. Blink.

And burst out crying their crimson tears of pain.

"They're gone. sob I've never sob wanted anyone this much in my l-sob life." Lee said, the tears didn't stop running down his face. "I should sob have realized that sob he is the-the sob the only one for me."

"There, there, shed no more tears, pal." Kisame said, handing his new friend his yellow cartoon-striped handkerchief yet he too was crying the river of heart wrenching sorrow. "There're still ways we get what we want."

"H-how?" Lee looked up and his eyes widened as he saw Kisame's handkerchief. "You like Ninja Turtles, too?"

"Of course, they're my favorite!" Kisame said proudly, his fills fluttering.

"Really? They're my favorite, too! I've lots and lots of collection!" Lee said excitedly, his eyebrows fluttering in rhythm with Kisame's gills. "Including..." Lee's voice held the tone of grief as he regarded his unfortunate sheet in silence. More tears sprung from his round eyes and Kisame patted his back comfortingly.

"Don't wear yourself out crying. We still have matter to attend to." Kisame said, the eerie green light returned to his eyes. "Important matter. But I can lend you some of my collection in exchange of your alliance." He grinned slyly.

At this Lee brightened and he sprung to his feet. "YOSH! The Turtle Ninjas Alliance is coming!" And he posed his favorite and cool Gai-sensei's idly 'Nice Guy' posture.

"Yeah, that's it." Kisame said, smiling. Now that he had an alliance, Itachi would soon become his. He looked around the room and noticed the misshaped chocolate lay in tatter on the floor. And again, he began flooding himself with saliva as he pictured Itachi moaning in pleasure while he licked the tasty chocolate sauce off of his naked pale body slowly...

Lee, on the other hand was thinking something much more innocent, he was thinking about taking his beloved Sasuke-kun into the wonderland of Turtle Ninjas where they could talks all day and night with Michael Angelo. And they would kiss in the last evening light with Lee never stopped whispering his loving words...Oh, how romantic!

And the two began laughing to themselves. Slowly...but...happily.

Meanwhile...

Sasuke looked around hastily. He was getting paranoid. No way he wasn't going to lose his virginity after all the horrid fights he had gone through. Itachi had finally stopped coughing. Now it was time, they too came up with a good plan. Yet...

"...Itachi." Sasuke said, his eyebrows twitching.

Itachi looked at his brother questioningly but did nothing else as Sasuke's eyebrows continued to twitch.

Twitch. Twitch.

"What is it?" He finally voiced.

Sasuke growled.

"Get your hand the hell off my ass!"

TBC

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