The Shark and The Weasel

Say your prayer

Chapter VII: Say your prayer

Hinata was having a happiest day in her life when her sweet Naruto-kun asked her out for a date. Inner Hinata was doing a flip-flop. Her heart skipped nervously and her stomach did a summersault. There he came, the sweet angel of her timid life, so bright and lively with his sun-kissed hair and cerulean eyes, which seemed to gaze deep into her soul every time their eyes met. She started twiddling her fingers and blushed hotly as the cheerful kitsune boy waved and smiled warmly at her. She inwardly thanked the god with all her little heart that he was so generous to grant her such a beautiful Valentine this year.

D-d-d-dear's very kind of you to grant me s-s-s-such a wonderful day with N-N-N-Naruto-kun...

Yes, that day the god was so kind to her but it didn't mean he had to be as kind to some nearby souls...

A church couldn't be so clean again after this fateful day...

Not so far from where Itachi was...umm, well...having a bonding time with his only remaining family member, (What a family man he was!) there was a church, of which white marble floor was always clean and well-polished. Despite its marvelous beauty, the said church was now empty and quiet saved for a soft snoring sound of a certain dark haired-priest who was sleeping on a comfortable ceremony desk. He was having an oh-so sweet dream. So sweet that if you look closely you would see drools forming at the corner of his mouth. The priest unconsciously licked it off with his long tongue.

The dream of molesting a pretty child was so sweet that he didn't want to wake up until...


The door burst open and two raven haired-boys barged in. Both boys' face were the similar of sheer horror and disgust.

"Father! Father!" The younger one called out loudly.

The priest covered his ears and continued to sleep. "I'm having a sweet dream. Stop bothering me..." He grumbled.

"But I've to confess the bad, bad sin I've just committed!" said Sasuke.

Itachi turned to look at his brother who seemed to have freaked out and begin acting too OOC, his hand still covering his mouth as he said this: "Really, Sasuke, I should be the one saying that."

Sasuke's eyes widened as he heard that. "Really?"


"It isn't my fault?"

"Well, it isn't. Actually, I was...the one kissing you first."

"But I kissed back!"

Dead silence.

".................................Really?" came a deep voice, which Sasuke realized wasn't coming from Itachi. Both Uchiha turned and saw the priest with purple eye shadows...well, in this case just happened to be Orochimaru looming over them with a frightening purple aura. His scary snake-like eyes that were glaring at Itachi spoke of painful death as he hissed: "How. Dare. You. Itachi?" He raised his voice. "How dare you steal my Sasuke-kun's first kiss!?"

Before Itachi could say anything and before Sasuke could object that that wasn't really his first kiss, there was an aggressive shout from the door: "ITACHI IS MINE!!!" and a little squeaky voice: "My lovely Sasuke-kun...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

You're right, it was Kisame and Lee: The infamous? Turtle Ninja Alliance, arriving grandly with their large turtle shell they used for covering their identities.

Kisame growled dangerously in his throat, glaring with his glowing green eyes at the three shocked men stood before him before he commanded: "Lee! Prepare for the Yummy Choco Cannon!"

"YOSH! Captain Kisame!" Lee saluted and disappeared inside their handmade turtle shell. He soon returned a minute later with a large cannon-like object. "Ready to attack every once you order, captain!"

"Good." Kisame nodded. "One. Two. Three. Fir-"


Suddenly the windows broke and the atmosphere became freezing and dark, sending swift chills down everyone's spine. The electricity was cut off.

"......back." came a cold yet vague voice. "......em back. .......them back." The voice continued to croon.

"W-what was that!?" Lee asked, sweat trickling from every inch of his body despite the temperature in the room and he clung onto Kisame's arm like a feared little child when he saw what seemed like pale smoke turning into shapes of many, many girls whom he recognized as those Itachi and Sasuke had bumped off during their fight for virginity in his room. "G-g-g-g-ghost!!!" For once, Rock Lee sounded really like Hyuuga Hinata.

Kisame, seeing that Lee couldn't be of any use for now, decided to manage everything by himself. He filled the Choco Ball in the Yummy Choco Cannon and lit up the fire. The said Choco Ball then fired out with super speed directly at its still stunned targets.


Itachi and Sasuke snapped out of their trances as they found themselves covered in sticky chocolate sauce that came out of Kisame's Choco Ball.

Cough. Cough.

"Hell no! Itachi, not now!" Sasuke scooted back a good distance behind, fearing that his brother might attempt licking the chocolate sauce off of him. Oh the horror... He might have more sins to confess to the god.

"Give our Uchiha back!" The ghosts of fangirls echoed thunderously, breaking more windows.

"Itachi is mine! Girls, if you want him, even though you're already dead, that still means WAR!!!" Kisame announced loudly, his voice clear. "Get back to your position, Lee! We're fighting for our loves!"

"How dare you say that!?" Orochimaru gritted his teeth, his golden eyes blazing with smoldering fire. "No one who dares taint my church, no one who dares steal my Sasuke-kun's first kiss and no one who claims that Itachi's his/her will survive! SAY YOUR PRAYER TRAITORS! INFIDELS! FOR HOLY'S SAKE!!!"

And the war started.

No one paid attention to Lee's little protest as he got back to his position beside Kisame: "But those girls are already dead!"


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