The Equalizer: You Better Watch Out

visions of sugar plums dance in his head

I didn’t feel so good. Head felt fuzzy. There was something I could do to get out of this but I couldn’t remember what it was. Inside my head I saw black air that moved. No, it was fog. Mist? Wait, that wasn’t right either.

The ground shook and the air turned foul as Krampus came near. Eau de hellgoat, thick and sour. I never noticed that before but I was too busy trying to gank his sorry ass then.

All I could do was lay there and breathe, and I wasn’t having much luck doing that. My lungs were rolled up tight as newspapers with those damn chains wrapped around them. The snake heads moved and squirmed as they pushed deep inside me. They bit into me.

I tasted dirty copper and slime on my tongue and in my mouth. Each bite took something out of me. Whatever mojo I had left they took from me.

You’re an idiot! the Mark hissed inside my head.

...shut up...

You could have teleported the humans out when we first came. Moved them, put them somewhere-

Doesn’t work like that...he’d..he’d follow them...

We didn’t have to come back here the second time! We didn’t have to come here at all!


She did.

The door underneath my left shoulder snapped in two. I heard a wet sound as the broken frame punched through my lower left side.

The pain was so bad my head jerked up and back and hit the roof hard enough to leave a bowl shaped dent in the metal.


I didn’t want to give that goat bastard the satisfaction of hearing me scream but I couldn’t help it.

I was close to losing it. I mean completely. Never felt so damned helpless in my life. Staring up at the night sky wasn’t enough to take my mind off what I was feeling.

Krampus came into view right above me. The bastard healed up completely. I couldn’t see any of the cuts I’d made on him. But now I had something to concentrate on. Something to keep my mind off the pain and the squirming around inside me.

Bastard grinned at me, then he opened his mouth and his tongue rolled out. It was as long and thick as a fire hose, pale blue, covered with bumps and forked at the end. His breath smelled so bad I would have blown chunks if I had anything besides snake chains in my stomach.

The sonofabitch licked a stripe up the right side of my face. I clamped my lips together but I didn’t have the strength to stop what happened next.

He tongued me.

Krampus smelled foul. The taste of him was even worse. Sulfur and shit and rotten meat. My gag reflex kicked in. My back arched and my heels kicked against the metal behind me.

His tongue pushed past my tonsils, all the way down my throat. The next thing I knew the bastard pulled back, grinning, as his tongue slid back into his mouth.

My chin and mouth were slick with his damn spit. I turned my head to the side as far as I could and spat, but I couldn’t get rid of the taste in my mouth.

I blinked black and snapped at him, but I was so weak I couldn’t hold onto my mojo. My eyes turned green and the noose around my neck tightened up again.

Krampus slurped at my skin like a kid licking an ice cream cone, down my neck, my chest, my stomach and my cock. My clothes were rags. Now they were wet and sticky.

“When I get loose I’m going to kill you.” That came out in a low growl. Good. I sounded more badass than I felt.

When he was done Goat Boy’s tongue slid back into his mouth. “The Mark of Cain is angry, Knight. I tasted her anger through your skin.”

“Fuck you.”

“Later, if you wish. You taste good.”

Something hard poked into my right thigh. Crap. Bastard had a boner as long as a baseball bat. “Did you like it?”

I rolled my eyes. “Hell no. But I’ve got a better idea. When I get loose we’ll have a threesome.”


“Yep. the First Blade.”

Goat Boy pinched the right side of my face like some fugly ass grandma.“You’re adorable, little wolf.”

“Don’t freaking touch me.”

He squeezed so hard my cheekbone broke. When he let go he ran the tips of his claws down my face, down to the inverted anti-possession tattoo on the right side of my chest. I rolled my eyes. Oh this was great. Just fucking great. First I was violated by demon tongue and now the fugly sonofabitch was copping a feel.

All I could do was glare at him.

“You’ve lost the battle and the war.” Krampus cleaned my blood off his claws with one lick. “Would you like to know why you lost?”

“I just know you’re gonna tell me.”

“You went against your true nature.”

“No shit.”

Krampus made a tsk tsk sound. “A Knight of Hell with the soul of the Righteous Man. That’s a terrible combination! It’s no wonder you wasted your talents on this stupid children’s crusade. You’ll be put to good use from now on.”


The Christmas Demon nodded. “But of course! After I break you the possibilities are endless. I might put you inside one of my snowglobes. Chain you up in a corner of my workshop and have my way with you. I’m sure my minions would love to have a turn at you too.”

Some of the minions smacked their lips and hooted. Bastards.

Goat Boy leaned in again and rubbed his hard on against my side. “Whatever is more entertaining for me. You wear pain and suffering well. It suits you. The Mark will not let you die. You have an eternity as my pet to look forward to.”

“Uh huh. That’s not happening, McPerv.”

“And why not, Dean?” Krampus cocked his head to one side.

I smirked at him. “What, you forgot already? Threesome, remember?”

Krampus sighed.

“Dude, am I boring you?”

“Yes. All this empty bravado is tiresome. I don’t expect much else from you tonight.” He moved around behind me, out of sight. That bothered me. Without being able to focus on Krampus’ ugly mug the pain and the chewing inside me became worse.

Out of the corner of my right eye I saw his claws curl around the edge of the frame and push up. The car shifted. My arms and legs were damn near pulled out of their sockets as the chains jerked even tighter. The roof I laid on tilted upwards at an eighty degree angle. I had a perfect view of Marty’s yard and house.

I had a pretty damn good idea why.

Krampus came into view again. His sharp yellow smile stretched from ear to ear. “There. That’s better. Now you may watch as those you foolishly chose to protect are dragged to their hellish reward.”

He turned towards his minions and nodded. “Go now. Bring forth the harvest.”

Heads pulled back underneath the drifts. Snow flew into the frozen dry air.

The first wave of minions leaped onto the front porch. They charged at the windows and the front door.

Nothing happened. No red flash. No fugly zapper.


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