Brian's Bits

What if Snape Taught Literature at Brown

There I was, reading some forum posts about Emma studying at Brown, and a thought (along with this short drabble) occurred to me..

What if Snape Taught Literature at Brown?

. . .

"Ah, Yes, Emma Watson. Our new--celebrity."

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of wordsmithing. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the written word with its shimmering adjectives, the delicate power of prose that creeps through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses... I can teach you how to spell-check fame, type glory, even publish your way to immortality--if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.

"Watson! What would I get if I added Hermione Granger to a romantic fanfiction story with Draco Malfoy?"

"I don't know, sir"

"Tut, tut--fame clearly isn't everything."

"Let's try again. Watson, where would you look if I told you to find me the biggest source of Fanfiction on the internet?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Thought you wouldn't read a story before coming, eh, Watson?"

"What is the difference, Watson, between Harmony and Pumpkin Pie?"

"I don't know, I think Evanna does, though, why don't you try her?"

"For your information, Watson, Hermione and Draco make a fanfic ship known as 'Dramione'. Fanfiction of all varieties can be found at fanfiction dot net and includes over 400,000 Harry potter fanfics. As for Harmony and Pumpkin Pie they are the same ship, which also can be found on Portkey. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?"

. . .

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