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By skwirelygurli

Humor / Romance

Chapter 1

Sober, a Glee fiction

I do not own Glee. This is a tag for Blame it on the Alcohol. Remember to review!

Kurt was still in line when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, checking the caller I.D. It was Blaine. Despite his proximity to the cash register, he decided to pick it up. Now if only it was that easy to decide what to say. Last time he had talked to Blaine, they weren't necessarily on the best of terms. But that's when Blaine was having an identity crisis. Still, it was better to play it safe. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." Blaine sounded amiable. The sound of the faucet being turned off was evident in the background. As Blaine pulled a paper towel from the dispenser he continued. "Can we talk?"

"Hold on." He approached the counter and smiled as the cashier asked what he wanted. "Medium drip please."

As the cashier rang up his purchase, Kurt returned to his phone call. "Sorry about that."

Blaine could hear the register close and Kurt thanking the lady for his change. It was pretty obvious where he was. "Kurt, are you in line at the Lima Bean? Getting my coffee?" He opened the bathroom door and scanned the room for Kurt. There was a bulky man blocking his view, but he was sure that he saw the top of Kurt's head by the front counter.

"Rachel left with this stupid grin on her face." Blaine saw the head, most likely with the rest of the body, leave the counter. He watched as Kurt headed for the sugar. Yup, that fabulous body of his was still in tact.

"Do you think we could talk about that?" Blaine felt his voice crack as he walked up behind Kurt. He had the phone glued between his head and his shoulder, listening to the conversation while balancing his own coffee and stirring sugar into Blaine's. He had this odd urge to scare him, for his face was far to priceless when he was scared. Blaine had found that out when David and Wes had crashed their musical marathon and begged them to watch some horrific movie they had rented off the internet. Kurt spilling his popcorn was one thing. Spilling his coffee could lead to some serious bodily injuries. Not that Blaine wouldn't be happy to play nurse for him. But he was thirsty.

Kurt turned around. "Let's end this call and talk like normal people." He handed over Blaine's coffee and unglued his phone from its position. They both ended the call.

"Normal people text more than they talk." Blaine led the way to their usual table. He liked the way that sounded in his head. It was their table. Never mind all the other patrons that probably sit there. They weren't nearly as important.

"Neither of which we were doing." He pulled out his chair. "What did you want to talk about?" He sat down and crossed one leg over the other. Might as well get comfortable. This time he planned on Blaine not escaping halfway through the conversation. Kurt Hummel would hold his tongue. Not literally. That'd be ridiculous.

"I want to apologize. You were right. I'm one hundred percent gay." At the word gay he sat with a defiant thunk in his seat. Not like he was defeated, but one that put enough emphasis on the word.

"Are you apologizing for being gay or for kissing Rachel?" His finger traced the rim of his coffee. His eyes made contact with the table.

"The kissing one. My first kiss was with a girl." He wrinkled is nose in disgust. He couldn't believe it. An entire first kiss, wasted. Now he knew how Kurt felt. He took a swig of his coffee. Then Kurt took the opportunity to speak his mind.

"So was mine." Blaine choked on his coffee. Thankfully none spewed over to the other side of the table. Once he swallowed and Kurt was certain that he was okay, he finished his thought. "Remember how I told you there was a first kiss that didn't count?"

Blaine nodded his head. Realization dawned on him. "I was drunk and confused. Why'd you kiss a girl?" He set his coffee aside to lean forward. It was a rather personal topic for a coffee shop.

Kurt mimicked his posture. His legs uncrossed themselves at their own will. "I tried to convince my dad I was straight. She tasted like root beer."

"Better than alcohol." Blaine leaned back again and took a long sip of his drink. He had thought about it before, recently in fact. He thought his first kiss would taste coffee.

"I do have one question though." Blaine stopped drinking. Kurt had already dropped one bomb today causing him to choke. He was not about to re-experience that. He was sure his throat was already burnt from the last episode. Kurt took an oddly prolonged sip at his coffee. Blaine's eyes pleaded him to continue. Kurt swallowed, and Blaine watched as the coffee slide down his throat. When it had reached a safe point, Kurt began speaking again. "Didn't you say you sucked at romance?"

"I do. Did you not just witness the utter collapse of my relationship with Rachel? It lasted less than a week." Kurt knew that Rachel Berry was high maintenance. Even as his friend she had thought about herself over him. She knew Kurt liked Blaine. She knew that Blaine was gay. You'd think a child of two gay men would respect that kind of thing. Instead she kissed him to prove a point. And then she ran off to write a song about it.

"So? For the time being, you still went on a date with her. In costume no less." Rachel had called it a date. Blaine had called it a date. But Blaine and Kurt had gone out numerous times and they had never been labeled as dates. Had he asked, would Blaine been ready to label it as such like he did with Rachel?

"Look," Blaine started, scratching the back of his neck. Kurt knew it wasn't because it itched. He ignored Blaine's nerves. "Rachel is expendable. Jeremiah, he was expendable." Kurt tried to conceal a giggle at this. For some reason he was overjoyed be the fact that Jeremiah didn't mean that much to Blaine anymore.

"You, oh boy Kurt, you are in no way expendable. You're-" Blaine struggled to find the right words. Then he found them and began to sing. "You're irreplaceable."

Kurt made no effort to hide his now obvious laughter. "You did not just go all Beyonce on me."

Blaine shot him a sly grin. "I only speak the truth." He placed his hand over Kurt's. His hand was warm from the cup he had been holding. That wasn't the only reason Kurt felt like he was on fire.

"Blaine?" He turned his hand around so that their palms connected. Kurt could've sworn their heart lines synced.

"Yeah?" He wasn't feeling sleepy. In fact, he was wide awake. That didn't stop him form propping his head up with his other hand.

"How much do you remember from the night you were drunk?" The hand under Blaine's chin kept him form slamming his head against the table. Some things were not worth remembering.

"I remember kissing and karaoke. And then I wound up in your bed with your dad in the room. He was so loud." His head slide down his hand and he rubbed the side of it.

"Yeah. You can't sleep over again." Blaine frowned, placing his hand back on the table. Kurt lifted it in the air. He interlaced their fingers. Blaine felt the fingers on his other hand follow suit. Here they were, two openly gay boys in a restaurant holding hands. As just friends. "Unless I tell my dad first. So no more getting drunk, m'kay?"

"I think I'm permanently sober. The only drunk I'm getting is love drunk." He waggled his eyebrows. The silliness of the moment was lost and Kurt felt Blaine's grip on him tighten. He didn't mind. He just squeezed back.

"Good to know," he squeaked out. Blaine's eyes were piercing into his. He would've said that Blaine was trying to stare a hole right through him, but the smile on his face begged to differ. He was staring right at him. They held this stare for a good few moments.

"Oh, and Kurt?" He pulled out of his reverie.

Still not focused, Kurt mumbled for him to go on.

"Can I be the small spoon next time?"

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