Night of Nothing
Chapter Thirty-nine: Night of Nothing:
I: College Memories
I love nights like this, when I just get lost in my thoughts. I used to be so lonely during my college years because I didn't know how to open up to people.
When Papa died, I locked myself in a glass box and kept to my studies. Sure, I had friends; but I didn't trust anyone to get close to me the way Asato-kun did. We are just now as close as when we first met. Make no mistake - It's been a wild ride, but I have loved absolutely every moment of it.
Glancing over at the clock on the floor I realize that it will soon be sunrise. Sighing deeply, I turn to Asato-kun and watch him sleep. He looks like a sweet little child when he's like this. I lean down, and tenderly kiss his eyes. "I love you," I whisper. But, I pause when I feel his weight shift. Asato-kun slowly opens his eyes and looks up at me.
"I love you too."
I stare at him blankly for a moment, caught off-guard. "How long have you been awake, Asato-kun?"
"For a couple of minutes, why? What's on your mind?" He asks.
"My college years, mostly."
I shake my head. "Not really. I was geeky and lonely then."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, it's okay. I'm not so lonely anymore." I pull his hand to my chest. "You and my friends helped me to realize that alone doesn't mean lonely. I cherish all of you for being so honest with me."
II: What If Game
I feel too old to play the "what if" game. However, I can't help it. I look over at my husband and think that were it not for him, my life could easily gone in a different direction.
"Do you ever play the 'what if' game with yourself?"
"What do you mean?" Asato-kun narrow his eyes as he wondered aloud.
"Well, it's where you wonder what if your life had gone another way."
He thinks about my question. "I probably have. Why do you ask?"
I shrug, shaking my head. "I was just wondering."
"I don't see a point in it."
"I mean… Why wonder what could've been? I mean, we're both here, right?"
I smile. "I guess you're right." I pause with another thought in mind. "You know something?"
He glances over at me. "What?"
"You sounded like me there for a minute."
A slight shade of surprise washes over his face. "Did I?"
"Yep, I think you've changed."
He lifts his head, looking confused. "Have I?"
He smiles. "Well, I guess you could say I have."
I feel so lucky. Most women throw away love on any man. Usually, that kind of love doesn't end too well. If you could call it that. Some men are cheaters. Some can be abusive. Many others have factors that can wrong go. I'm happy Asato-kun is none of these. He is a good man. So, okay… Asato-kun might have a few quirks, but who doesn't? He has a nearly insatiable sweet tooth, is often moody, and a little childish. But he's still a good man. In a way, he's quite like my Papa.
I chuckle to myself as I wonder if it must be true that most women end up marrying someone like their father. But I'm stuck wondering… How long will this all last? Does love have a shelf life?
I squeeze onto his arm as tightly as I can. Asato-kun looks down with a concerned look on his face.
"Promise me something."
"What's the matter, my darling?"
"Please, just promise me something!"
"Alright…" I grab his wrists and hold on for dear life. "Don't ever leave me, Asato-kun. Promise me that you will be by my side forever."
My nails sink into his hand. "Say it!"
My husband pulls me to his chest. "I promise."
"Swear it! I need to hear you say it."
I press my lips together. I believe him, but my heart is still unsure. I need one more reassurance. "Kiss me, Asato-kun." I urge him.
He looked rather uncertain about my request. "Anna…"
"Please! I need this!" Hearing the need dripping from my own voice frighten me to my core. I don't want to be this person.
He reluctantly, kisses me on the lips, and my fingers desperately weave themselves through his hair. When he pulls away, I draw a deep soothing breath and thank him. "I needed that, so much." I circle my arms around him and allow myself to relax. "Thank you for being here for me. Sometimes I feel like I'd be nothing without you, Asato-kun"
"Summer will soon be over."
"How will we end it, my love?" I tease.
He props himself up in bed. "Have lots of sex."
I try not to laugh, even though I like the idea. "What?"
"Is that all you think about?"
He kisses me on the forehead. "I blame you for that."
"Oh yes!" He tries to kiss me again, but I push him off.
"Asato-kun! Not again! Wait until tomorrow night!"
My husband pouts and whimpers. "You promise?"
I pat him on the head and grin. "Yes, yes."
Asato-kun kisses me on the throat. The softness of his lips making my toes curl. I hold him in my arms and feel grateful for how much I love this man. No one could ever take his place in my heart, or in my bed.
VI: Just Another Day
The sun comes up, and another day begins.
"I'll see you tonight," Asato-kun plants a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Have a good day," I smile shyly.
Asato-kun has kissed me goodbye, and left for another day of work. I giggle as I think of what he has in store for our evening. Hurry back, my love. I'll be right here waiting. Counting the minutes until I see you again.