By the time Dr. Nate Getz arrived at the boat-shed, Callen was in a corner of the interrogation room curled up in the fetal position but a hand belied his stance, he was ready to fight.
"Hello Callen," Nate said as he walked into the room and put his bag in the corner.
Cal's head rose slowly. He knew that he was protected in the spot he had picked, but he did not recognize the voice of the new person who had walked in so he kept his guard up.
"Who are you?" He snapped.
Nate placed the file he had in the middle of the table and picked up the chair Callen had tossed earlier and sat down.
"My name is Dr. Nate Getz, I'm a psychologist. You can call me Nate," he said. "You are G. Callen…"
"No, that's not my name. My name is Cal Janvier." Callen moved so he could see Nate better, but kept his body language guarded.
"Why do you say that?" Nate asked keeping his voice neutral but managing to hide his surprise at the accent Callen was sporting naturally.
"Because it is my name, my father told me…he wouldn't lie. He wasn't the one who kidnapped me from my family and raised me in hell!" he snapped.
"Is that what you think happened?" Nate asked as his eyes darted towards the mirror.
Nevertheless, Callen caught it, "She's out there isn't she? The woman who took me and destroyed my life!"
"No one is out there right now Cal…let's focus on in here for now," Nate replied in a calming voice.
Callen stood up and started pacing, "She took me, she ruined my life and now she wants me to disown my father?" he said quietly.
"Cal…"Nate opened the file and pulled some pictures out. He placed them on the table where Callen could see them. "This is your mother…and this…" he showed him a grainy photo taken from a cine film, "Is your father, this is not Janvier…your father's name is Nikita Alexsandr Resnikov."
Callen picked up the picture, the man looked like him…maybe around the eyes a little, but his mind was rebelling. "I don't know him…I've never met him."
Nate pulled out another still of the same man holding a baby with a little girl by his side, "That is you, your father and your sister Amy." He took a photo of Clara and placed it on the table, "Clara Callen…your mother."
Then he added a picture of Kensi, "Kensi Blye Callen…Your wife."
Callen started to shake his head, "Essalina Callen…Your daughter."
He stopped and picked up her picture. "Why? Why would Papa…Janvier lie?" He asked backing away from Nate as he started to feel sick, his head was swimming and his body ached.
He leaned against the wall and sank slowly down it, "It can't be true…he lied…but I remember…I remember the hell growing up, how could I remember if it were all a lie?"
Nate sighed and waited as Callen started shaking.
"Can we get a medic in here?" he shouted and waited as the door was unlocked and the doctor came in.
Callen moved like lightning, fighting, trying to get out.
Two orderlies the doctor had arranged to be there, blocked his exit from the room as the doctor gave him a shot and he fell back in a heap, the fight suddenly drained from him.
The doctor lay him down on the cot in the corner of the room. Callen was coherent but resigned to whatever was going to happen.
He felt like just giving up.
Callen stared at the ceiling, his memories in turmoil.
"I know what I remember doctor," he said as Nate sat next to him.
"I remember Papa…when I was small, we played on a beach with my mother…I built a sandcastle with him, he taught me to ride a bike…No…I…maybe…" Callen shook his head, "Amy was with me on the beach…but he was there…but he wasn't…" Callen let out a sob, as it hit him, it was not his father, he had no father and his mother was dead and again he was alone.
"Cal?" Nate prodded as he listened to his patient try to sort out the thoughts in his head.
"I'm alone…I've always been alone…no one cares…Why am I still here? No one can want to live like this, can they doc?" Callen asked.
"People have always cared about you Callen; you have had people looking out for you your whole life," Nate told him.
Callen pushed himself up on one elbow and looked Nate in the eyes, "I know I haven't had that," he said with absolute certainty.
Kensi watched through the glass as Callen worked his way through his memories.
"I should be in there," she said turning to Hetty who had stood silently by her side. "He's hurting so much."
Hetty put a hand on Kensi's arm as they listened to Callen talk to Nate.
"He needs to work through this himself, to get his own memories back, something of his own he can hold on to and go from there. Nate is the best my dear and he will do everything to bring our Mr. Callen home."
Kensi looked as the doctor and the orderlies walked past them, the larger of the two orderlies rubbing his arm where Callen had landed a punch and suppressed a grin. The person had to be twice the size of her husband and she knew had he been all right he would have been ribbing Sam about that punch he had landed.
She missed him so much; he was so close, right next-door.
Yet still so very far away from her.
She placed her hand on the glass, noticing as she did so that he did the same thing on the other side.
"I know I was loved…once…I can feel it." Callen said his hand on the glass staring at his reflection in the mirror.
"Tell me about it," Nate said shifting in his seat to watch Callen.
"I wasn't a child…I don't think, I dream of a woman…brown hair, strange eyes, like normal but off…slightly…but they were perfect." He smiled slightly as Kensi the other side of the glass, and unbeknownst to him, did the same.
"We weren't supposed to be in love, I know this…Maybe she was too good for me…maybe I did something wrong," he looked sad and Kensi looked at Hetty, but she shook her head.
"Maybe you didn't do anything wrong," Nate said.
"No…I remember hiding her, keeping her safe from…Hetty…that woman…did she kill her?" He turned and looked at Nate.
Nate shook his head as he watched the thoughts fly through Callen's head.
"Why would I hide her from Hetty if she is as good as you say she is? Why would I want to keep her safe and why can't I remember her name?" Callen asked as he sank back onto the cot he had recently vacated.
"You need to rest. The drug Janvier put in your system is messing with your head. You will remember in time. Just know that there are people out there that care about you, love you and want you to get well," Nate insisted pulling a blanket from the foot of the cot and draping it over Callen's curled up form.
"I want to know….I …Kens…?" he said as he dropped off to sleep.
Nate looked up in surprise at the last word and slipped out of the room.
Kensi looked over at Nate with tears in her eyes as he walked into the main room. "He remembers me, right?" she asked apprehensively.
"I think deep down he does, but he's sorting his thoughts out slowly. Unfortunately, convincing him that people out there care for him will be harder than I originally thought." Nate picked up a coffee, took a sip, and sat down to watch Callen sleep. "I am hopeful that as soon as he remembers you, things will fall back into place."