The Empty glass of truth

Chapter 13

Callen lay in the bed, Nell was wiping his forehead with a damp cloth, "He's still running a fever." She said as Clara and Deeks hovered on the edge of the room.

"Maybe a hospital…?" Kensi started but was vetoed by both Clara and Deeks.

"No!" they said together, "Callista is still at the hospital and now she is the last Comescu left, if we take G there he'll be dead." Deeks said wrapping Kensi in a hug so she knew that he wasn't mad with her.

Callen moaned as the pain shot through him.

"Can't you do anything?" Nell asked Hetty.

"This is a clandestine operation, but I can call Tom Morrow and see if he has a DHS doctor in the area." She said picking up the phone. Nell and the others followed her out of the room.

"No…! Please…No!" Callen moaned as he thrashed about trying to rid himself of his nightmare.

Callen was on the beach; Nell was playing with a child…their child? And Clara and Deeks were sitting in a chair watching Nell play with her son.

Callen walked towards them and they stopped and looked at him.

"Go away!" Deeks shouted pulling his gun.

"We don't need you anymore," Nell said.

"I have a new son now, you are not my son anymore…the system changed you." Clara, "I have Martin now I don't need you."

Callen backed away as they all crowded around him.

"We don't need you…go away!" They said all laughing at him.

He looked up as Vasilie walked over to Nell and put his arm around her and the boy. "Vasilie is all the man I need, I don't need you, and you were never good enough Callen…"

The shadows of many of Callen's foster parents turned up on the beach, "Still not good enough…G…no home, no family, no name…useless, unwanted."

The faces laughed at him, over and over until Callen sat up in bed, sweat pouring down his face and grabbed his gun off the nightstand.

"NO!" Callen screamed and the others turned around.

Callen sat on the bed his eyes wide pointing a gun at them.

"G! Put the gun down." Nell said.

"No…Not…not gonna be hurt again…no more…can't." his hand went over his chest as a pain shot through his heart.

"Grisha…?" Clara said. "Moy syn?"

"No…not your son…no one's son, no home, no family…no…no name…useless…unwanted….please let me go…!" he pleaded.

"G, you're ill, you are wanted, you have a home and a family and a name, we all love you." Nell said.

"I heard you…you…you…" Callen let unguarded tears roll down his face, "you didn't want me…still unwanted."

Nell walked over to him and slipped her arms around him, "I want you, we all want you…your mother…"

"Is dead…I saw her die…then she wasn't?" he looked confused, "She didn't want me she had another son…another…? Deeks! She doesn't love me or want me, I'm just trash…I belong in the trash…used, abused, useless." He cried as tears he couldn't stop fell down his cheeks.

Deeks moved to stand near his mother; Callen still hadn't put the gun down and was still waving it around threateningly.

"Callen, its ok, just rest, lie down and listen to Nell." Deeks pleaded with his brother.

Nell quickly shot Callen full of sedative and fighting it he fell back onto the bed, thrashing until the sedative took a full hold and he relaxed into sleep.

Deeks picked up the fallen gun and handed it to Kensi, turning to look at his mother's stricken face. "Mom…It's ok, it's just the fever, and he didn't mean any of it." He said as he turned to hold her.

Clara shook her head and pulled from her son's embrace, she walked to the window and turned to Hetty, "I need to know Henrietta, I need to see his file, I need to know all of it." She said adamantly as she looked over at the small woman.

"No…No you don't." Hetty advised her, "Let him tell you everything, when he is ready."

"No! I am his mother, I do not need to see the classified mission stuff, unless it is pertinent, I need to see the other file, his childhood file…I need to know what happened to him."

"I can't get into that." Hetty said, hoping Clara would let it go.

"I can." Nell said, "I think…I hope that if we see it, we can help G heal, something is going on in his head, it's causing him so much pain Hetty, we need to help him before the family can heal."

Hetty shook her head. She was the only one who had actually seen the file and she was worried, even Callen didn't know half of what was in the file, things that had happened after certain incidents, meetings and arguments that had gone on. If they saw the file Callen himself would realize how close Hetty had been to him for years and knowing that she had never taken him in but had left him in the cold, but not really well meaning embrace of the welfare system, might end up destroying the trust he had built up in her over the years. But looking at the faces of the two women who loved him as much as she did, she caved.

"I have a copy of his file," she admitted.

The others looked at her in shock.

"I have the only full copy of his file anywhere, even Callen hasn't seen it, I worry because he would not like anyone to know about some of the things he did, was forced to do as a child. I really will urge you to wait, I am certain if you see it without his knowledge it might damage things between you."

Clara shook her head; she was as stubborn as her son it seemed. "I will see that file, Henrietta." She demanded.

Hetty reached into her purse, handed Clara a thumb drive and walked over to Callen, "I am so sorry." She said and patted him on the arm.

Callen flinched under the touch and Hetty shook her head sadly, feeling like she was betraying the man whom she had spent her life protecting. As soon as the flash drive was opened Callen would never talk to her again.

She wiped her eyes and shook her head sadly as she turned to walk away.

"Tell him, I'm sorry…" she looked up at Kensi, Deeks and Nell, "I have…enjoyed…working with you all and I wish you all the luck for the future."



"Hetty?" all three said.

"You will see, now, I have to go." She said and walked out of the door, leaving the three agents dumbstruck, Clara annoyed and Callen blissfully unaware of the drama asleep on the bed.

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