Atonement

Chapter 10

Hetty walked in the room to see a sight that warmed her heart.

Callen's family sitting around his bed waiting for him to wake up; Emma sat with her hand over Callen's next to the bed. Deeks sat nearby holding Emma's other hand and Saskia sat in the corner reading a book. Kensi walked in and sat in the corner giving Deeks a glance and a nod.

"Any change?" Hetty whispered to Saskia as she took a chair next to her.

Saskia shook her head, "The Ketamine is out of his system now, and they have dosed him up with medication for his ankle. The doctors pinned and set it. He will be out for at least eight weeks."

"I think Mrs. Callen will take good care of him." Hetty smiled looking over at the young woman whose blonde hair fell over her face as she leant her head next to her husband's.

Callen heard hushed voices as he slowly clawed his way to consciousness, "Em?" he croaked she looked up and grasped his hand.

"G…come back to me," Emma said

"Can't….Can't die Emmy, I love Emma…." Callen murmured.

"I love you too!" Emma said and leant over to kiss him.

He felt her kiss and moved away, "Emma….run…..Kendall!" he started panicking and the monitors all started bleeping.

Deeks moved over to the bed, "Cal, it's over…Kendall's dead…you heard Emily…she told you it's over!" he put his hand on Callen's shoulder.

Callen relaxed and opened his eyes, "You heard her too?" He asked his throat rasping.

Deeks gave him some ice chips. "Yeah." He said quietly.

He helped Callen sit and get his bearings and then the two of them noticed that everyone else in the room was staring at them.

"What?!" Callen coughed and winced as his ribs ached.

"You heard Emily?" Emma asked.

Deeks and Callen looked at each other; neither had planned to share that fact.

"I…I mean I thought I heard Emily as we took the house, once when I went down to the basement instead of upstairs and as Kendall died, I could have sworn I heard her voice saying it was over." Deeks said honestly.

"Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked.

Callen wanted to be able to say he had heard it too. But he remembered the last time he'd told someone he'd heard Emily's voice when he was a teenager, the foster parent had enrolled him in a psychiatric facility until he admitted he'd heard nothing…and there was no way he was getting separated from Emma and Jay again, so he turned and looked at the wall. He figured not answering isn't lying.

Deeks looked hurt and moved away from Callen. "You heard her…I know you did!" he said accusingly.

"Mr. Deeks…just calm down." Hetty placated her agent.

Callen looked at Hetty, "You need to debrief me?" He asked all business.

Deeks shot Callen a look and stormed out of the room; Kensi looked apologetic and followed her partner.


Emma shot Callen a look but he closed off. She wasn't having that and punched him in the arm gently. "Hey…enough." She admonished him.

"Em, I can't….If I tell…" He said looking more lost than she had ever seen him.

"Nothing will happen if you tell, we are all family here and no one will judge you." Emma said. Callen shot a look at Hetty.

"You won't?" He asked looking pointedly at her.

"Unless it pertains directly to the case, nothing else said in here will be shared Mr. Callen." Hetty promised him.

"IsawEmilyandCaleb" Callen said in a big rush.

"Sorry?" Both Hetty and Saskia said at the same time.

Callen looked intently at the hand he was grasping Emma's with. "When Kendall had me…He injected me with Ketamine and I lost consciousness…I think I was dead…But I saw Emily and Caleb….Caleb was a child, I…I held him and played with him…Emily said they'd help me and that I wasn't to die, that Emma and Jay needed me…When Kendall was beating me, they were there…keeping me strong. I think Em, I think they needed closure too and Kendall's death gave them that."

The others listened intently to Callen's statement but Callen hadn't looked at any of them.

"I'm not mad….." He whispered…"Am I?"

Emma hugged him, "No my love you are not mad…or crazy….do you feel crazy?" she asked.

Callen looked at her and she could see the tears he was fighting to keep hidden, "I feel whole Em…for the first time in years I feel whole."

She wrapped him in a hug and Saskia and Hetty left in search of Saskia's other son who needed healing.


Deeks sat holding his nephew and rocking him in a gentle motion as he stared at the garden he was sitting in. Kensi sat next to him with Sam nearby.

"He didn't back me up Kenz, I know he heard her….I think he heard her…I thought we were a family finally." Deeks said, Kensi could see the misery rolling of him in waves and even Jay was picking up on it sniffling into his uncle's chest.

"He heard her son." Saskia said moving to sit the other side of her new son and gently rubbing her grandson's back. "He was not able to admit it but he did back you up…When you take Jay into him, I know he will want to talk to you." She reassured him.

"Really, mom. I feel like I don't belong there." Deeks said.

Saskia smiled, "Both my boys both insecure and both needing each other so badly, if only you would both admit it." She wrapped an arm around Deeks' shoulder and hugged him, "Do not let what happened with Kendall drive you both apart, Emily wouldn't want that. Emma doesn't. you have a shared past that should bring you closer as you both survived it." She said.

Hetty handed him a piece of paper, "I think Mr. Deeks….you need this…to remind you." He opened the paper and stared stunned at the drawing he hadn't seen since he was a child.

Saskia looked at the paper. "Did you draw that my son?"

"Yeah….I was five…I'd just left Kendall's I gave this to the social worker to give to him." Deeks breathed.

"Can you tell me about it?" She asked gently.

"It's Emily…Me and Cal…he's the knight and he's fighting off the monsters and saving us…he was….he is my hero." Deeks admitted.

"Mr. Deeks, I think Mr. Callen needs to hear that right now." Hetty said, she leant in and passed Jay to Saskia.

"Come son; let's go see your brother." Saskia, Jay and Deeks headed back to Callen's room as Sam, Hetty and Kensi sat on the bench.

"Do you think they'll be ok?" Sam asked worried for his partner and his friend.

"Yes Mr. Hanna, not only do I think they'll be alright I think they will be better because of this."


Deeks knocked tentatively on the door of the hospital room and Emma opened it. She smiled as she saw the rest of her family; she kissed Deeks on the cheek and reached for her son, breathing in the scent that was uniquely his as she moved to sit near Callen.

"Show him." Saskia prompted Deeks and he reached over with a slightly shaking hand and passed Callen the sheet of paper. "Sam found it in a box of your stuff at Kendall's" He said by way of explanation.

Callen took the ageing piece of paper from Deeks' hand and carefully opened it.

The others watched as Callen stared at the piece of paper, Deeks looked to Saskia, surprising himself that he had taken to his new mother so quickly, that he felt he needed the nod of reassurance she gave him.

"You…you drew this?" Callen asked.

Deeks nodded, "Just after Emily died. I drew it when a therapist asked me to draw my family." Deeks said quietly.

"Show me." Callen prodded simply.

Deeks let out an embarrassed smile, "It's Me, Emily…." He said pointing to the small boy and the princess in the picture, "Then there's you fighting the monster."

"Did we win?" Callen asked amazed that at that age someone had thought him a hero.

Deeks looked at his big brother and his new family, and answered his voice thick with emotion, "Yeah Cal, yeah ya did."

Callen lay back closed his eyes and smiled.

"Nope kid, We won."

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