Puck is emotional and gets called out
I don't own Glee or any of its franchise. But I'm available if it's ever going to be on sale. Just sayin'.
A/N So, I know I left things interesting last time and decided to be nice and post quickly for once. This chapter is a tad more emotional than the others, but I hope it's going to be liked none the less. Thanks for the reviews, they're what made me update so quickly this time. Happy (if possible) reading!
Ubetaed chapter as always. Any help will be appreciated.
I'm a bit (try a lot) surprised that Ma doesn't immediately jump into a huge screaming fit the moment I gave my permission. Instead, she leans back, crosses her arm and gives me this look. You know the Look that every kid, boy or girl, eventually gets when they've done something really really stupid.
I swallow down my growing nerves as the silence keeps getting tenser by the minute. It feels like an eternity passes by before there's a quick knock on the door and Rachel unceremouniously enters my house. She looks determined and her chin is held high and all that keeps running through my frozen mind is, "Thank fuck she's here!"
"Hello Mrs. Puckerman, I'm sorry to barge in here unannounced, but seeing as this conversation also involves me, I deemed it important to be here." Her brown eyes shine with some kind of emotion I can't quite decipher as she sits down on the couch next to me. She turns her head towards the door and speaks again, "You can come in now."
Her dads walk inside, looking like they don't quite know what to expect and I can't quite keep a small snort from getting out. Gay or straight, all men are wary of angry women. It actually calms me down a bit. I catch Abraham's eye and he seems to know what I'm thinking because the fucker actually winks at me while Hiram walks over and greets my mom with a polite handshake.
Ma looks like she doesn't know whether to shout for them all to get the hell out or get up and be a decent host and get them all something to drink. She compromises by smiling and gesturing for Rachel's dads to take a seat before turning her attention back on us – or more importantly, Rachel's baby bump.
"So it is true," she starts and I feel Rach tense next to me, but her expression remains calm. "You're having my son's child." The disapproval flows out of every pore of my mother's body. I hope to God she doesn't say something stupid, because although I'm without a doubt a momma's boy that loves and respect his mom, I won't stand for anyone dissing my girl. No one.
"I can see that you're having obvious concerns about this," Rachel suddenly says and I look at her, frowning, because what the hell? Don't provoke the beast. Regardless of my attempted telepathic message and/or warning, Rachel continues, "We've already discussed things with my parents and you should feel comfortable asking any questions. I have nothing to hide."
Ma narrows her eyes and I shift uncomfortably on the couch, recognizing the look as the one she gave me the one time I called her a bitch and she washed my mouth out with soap.
"Well, judging from your body, you couldn't hide it if you tried." Oh snap, I wince internally, praying that Rachel's sensitivity won't be offended by my mom's direct insult.
"Sarah," Abraham warns softly, and it occurs to me that our parents actually know each other from before, fuck; they might even have gone to high school together.
My mom looks over at Abraham and I manage to catch a brief glimpse of repentance before she turns her attention back on us. This time her eyes land on me. "Noah, what were you thinking? This is not a life I would've chosen for you. I know your tendencies for trouble have always been a part of you, something you've inherited from your father no doubt, but this…I'm so disappointed in you, Noah."
There's this lump of something almost choking me, damn it all to hell, she brought out the dad card. She knows that one of my deepest fears is being compared to that asshole. That, because I look like him, I'll turn out like him.
My jaw clenches and I manage to swallow through the lump in my throat. "I'm sorry, Ma."
"Knocking a girl up at sixteen is just irresponsible! I can't say anything to Rachel, her shame is for her parents to deal with, but you! What kind of role model is this setting for your sister? Your-"
"Stop it," the words leave my mouth before I'm even aware that I was about to speak. My mother's mouth falls open in shock as I continue coldly, "Call me whatever you want, but don't make it sound like Rachel's a slut. She's not, far from it actually. She was a virgin the night we made that baby. So just fucking stop."
I take a deep breath, and feel Rachel's hand slip into mine to offer me silent support. Fuck it, in for a penny in for a pound or whatever; I speak again. "And as for me letting you down and setting bad examples for my sister, well…fuck you."
Ma gasps like I've gravely offended her, but for once I don't give a shit. I swear, I catch Abraham grinning before I look back into my mom's widened eyes. "You got knocked up too, remember? Then you looked the other way when Dad smacked me around once in a while," here I pretend not to notice the Berry's' reaction to that part of my family history and add quietly, "You let me take care of you whenever he went after you too, how's that for irresponsible? Cleaning up your messes after your fights, getting a job at the age of seven to help pay for stuff when you got pregnant with Hannah. How about the times when I acted more like her fucking parent than her brother because you had to work late? How about the fact that I've never oncelet you down when it comes to the important stuff? What about all the times where I've spent my money and my time on fixing this house? How about…"
I feel Rachel squeeze my hand and that's when I realize I'm fucking crying like a baby. Tears are falling down my face like I've just watched Titanic for the first time. Fuck off, that shit was sad. After another deep breath, I stand up and finish my monologue, "How about some fucking support, huh?"
After that I just left. I walked out the door, ignoring my mother's choked attempt at calling out my name. I act like I don't hear Rachel's voice doing the same. I just need to get the fuck out of here to breathe.
Later that night, after it has turned dark, I finally venture home. I park the truck at the curve instead of the driveway. A part of me half expects that I'm no longer allowed inside and wants to be ready for a quick escape.
I notice that all the lights are still on and that Rachel's dads' car is still parked by the house too. Damn it, I hoped they'd be long gone by now. I don't get a chance to think any longer, because in that moment, the front door is opened and Rachel appears.
Her face looks pale and I hate that my fucked up life has made her worry. It can't be good for her either. Silently, I exit my truck and just stand there like a loser that can't figure out what to do.
As always, Rachel has no such difficulties and she walks towards me and when she reaches me, she just wraps her arms around me and holds me tight.
"It's going to be okay," she whispers and I sigh, leaning my head on her head, embracing her smell like she was some sort of rare flower that only bloom once every hundredth year or something lame like that.
"I fucking hope so," I finally reply and press a quick kiss on her soft hair.
"She's really upset about everything," Rachel confides in me, "after you left, she started crying and I think your words got through to her in a way none of us could've anticipated."
I frown and look down at her, holding her out from me a bit. "What are you talking about?"
"I think what you said is something that she needed to hear, Noah. You two need to talk about things when we're not around too of course, but I honestly think she's turned around. After you left and she regained her composure a bit, she asked me about my pregnancy and stuff. It's weird, but I feel as though we bonded as fellow females."
"Noah?" My mother's voice interrupts the moment of pure peace I'm having with Rachel and I look over her head to meet my mom's worried gaze. "A-Aren't you coming inside?"
In her tired eyes, I suddenly see everything. Regret, sadness, guilt, anger, fear and most of all, love. It's the last part that makes me nod and walk inside.
An hour later, Rachel and her dads leave just as quickly as they came. I steal one quick kiss from Rachel, before I watch her get in the car and drive away; away from all my drama and hopefully home to get a good night's sleep.
I go up to my room without speaking to Ma; I just put on my sweatpants and wife-beater and fall into my rumbled bed, exhausted. A little while later, my door opens and I see Ma's silhouette in the windows, I don't turn around, but I know that she knows that I'm not asleep.
"I'll try to be better," I hear her whisper before I feel her lips on my head. "I'm sorry." Then she leaves just as quietly as she came and I blink away the excess moisture in my eyes, trying to remind myself that I'm not a wimp.
The time for Sectionals is coming up, and for once I'm just as devoted to that as Rachel is. Well, okay, that's probably a lie, because no one is more into this whole thing than she is, but still. I pay attention, sing my heart out like a pro and genuinely do whatever I can to not think about stuff.
My friendship with Finn is growing by the minute and we keep sharing these knowing looks whenever our girls have what we've fondly named, "pregnancy moments." It's nice; it would've been a hell of a lot better if I didn't feel my guilt start to grow too.
Yes, I fucked Quinn, I might have sired another kid and my best friend doesn't know shit and keep saying things like, "my kid's gonna learn how to read a lot faster than I did, so he won't be manipulated into stuff like you did to me," or, "Do you think the kid will look a lot like me or more like Quinn, 'cause she beautiful."
Fuck my life.
My mood suffers and I know that people are noticing. Some of the dweebs that I used to torment on a daily basis have started dodging me in the hallways again, like my sad excuse of a life means that I'll start to prey on them again. The only one that doesn't try to get me to talk, or sends me worried looks is Mr. Shuester of all people.
But then again, that's one man whose life sucks worse than mine at the moment, so I go out of my way to actually show up in his class and participate a bit.
Other than that, I've pretty much turned into a douche. Lashing out verbally to anyone, and not even Rachel gets off free. During glee, she tries to get me to talk about whether or not I've worked things out with my mom and I snap.
"Butt the fuck out, Berry," I sneer and grab my backpack and leaves the now deadly silent choir room. I hear footsteps approaching, and I don't turn around, because I'm so not interested in seeing Rachel's hurt eyes cut me to pieces and make me feel like an even bigger ass.
"Puck, slow down!" I stop in shock, it was one of the voices I least expected.
Quinn is holding a hand over her belly protectively as she finally reaches my immobile self and then quickly punches me on the arm. "Why are you being such an ass to Rachel? She really cares about you so you shouldn't act like that."
"Well," I smirk, ignoring the pinch of guilt for what I said to Rachel that flares to life at Quinn's words, "you should just stay fuck out of it and leave me alone. Besides, you wouldn't want to give the impression that you care about a Lima loser, right?"
Quinn rolls her eyes and I wonder how I ever thought she was the most beautiful girl around. Rachel has her beat by miles and miles. "Whatever, Puckerman. But, for some reason, Rachel is a semi friend of mine now and we're both experiencing things that no one else can understand so I don't like to see her hurt. Especially by you."
"Oh really," I step closer, getting right into her personal space for the first time since we slept together. She looks like she struggles to stay put. "Like I'm the only one who's ever acted like a jerk around her."
"Everything we've ever done to her, pales in comparison to what we did together…" Quinn's voice is soft and it's clear that after getting pregnant Quinn's been developing a heart. "It eats away at me now that I hang out with her…"
"Us fucking happened before I got together with Rachel," I try to act nonchalant, but we both know it's not working.
"Yeah, maybe. But I was with Finn, so we're still pretty much evil."
I exhale a heavy breath, running a hand through my 'hawk. "I know. I think maybe, we gotta tell them." Quinn's eyes widen in fear and I hasten to explain, "I know what we did was shitty, but I got a kid on the way and I think we all deserve to know if I've got another one coming too."
"I made love to Finn," Quinn insists, looking down at the ground. "We just had sex. It's his child, I can feel it." She pauses and then adds so quietly that I can barely hear her, "oh, God I really hope it's his child…"
I don't say anything to that, because it's obvious that I feel exactly the same.
A few minutes later, we've agreed to meet up and discuss how we're gonna tell Finn and Rachel about everything. We do immediately agree to wait until after Sectionals though, just to play it safe. Rachel would never forgive me if I messed up the competition, even if it was in an attempt to clear my conscience. She really wants to win and mixed with her hormones, I'm not exactly willing to bet on my survival should I ruin things for her.
When I re-enter the choir room, Rachel's beautiful eyes meet mine and I flinch at the sight of tears in her eyes, hating that my fucking temper brought them on. I sit down next to her and place an arm around her chair and apologize sincerely, for a lot more than she even knows.
Smiling, Rachel kisses my nose and I copy her smile, happy that we're cool again. I once again clamp down hard on the pessimistic side of me that warns me that it won't be that easy when the truth comes out.
I look over at Quinn and we both nod almost without moving. It'll be after Sectionals.
Except, once again, I forgot something, or more like someone. Jacob Ben Ishrael and his uncanny ability to fuck up my life even more…
A/N If you liked, review please:D If you didn't, review and tell me why:D
Until Next Time