Puck throws a party
Don't own Glee or any of its franchise.
A/N Thanks for the reviews, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm a tad disappointed at the decreased number of them lately. Anyway, long chapter – more of the repercussions from the BIOTA episode next time around, 'cause I just loved that episode so much. I hope you enjoy!
Unbetaed, but any help will be appreciated.
"Darn it all, Noah," Rachel growled, making a certain part of me twitch, 'cause she looked so fucking cute when she did that, "I can't think about anything else but my stupid headband. Can't we just go home for now?"
Grinning, I shrugged obnoxiously and sat down next to her on the piano. "Babe, it was your fu-"
"Noah!" Rachel interrupted me, glancing behind her at Caroline, who was busy crawling around on the floor, giggling loudly at some of the faces that her latest toy could make. "Small ears are present."
"Fine," I sighed, mock irritated and continued on with a grin, "It was your effing idea to use original songs at Sectionals and-"
"Regionals, Noah; honestly, I can't believe you still make this mistake after being with me for so long."
"Babe," I raised a brow, expertly hiding the fact that I did it on purpose to get a rise out of her. Seemed only fair, watching her for hours biting her pencil and trying to write songs with a cute little frown of concentration was getting a rise out of me most of the time, if you know what I'm sayin'. "Wanna let me finish a sentence this year or should I just stop trying?"
Rachel rolled her eyes at me, but I could clearly see the mirth dancing in those brown orbs, so I wasn't that worried. "I'm merely pointing out that you're incorrect in your statements, Noah, ergo the need to interrupt you all the time."
Ergo? Who even said that anymore? I couldn't help but smirk, and lean forward a little. "You're always good at that, Berry."
Rachel laughed her tinkling laugh and copied my movement a tiny bit and I was kindda bummed that Caroline wasn't sleeping, 'cause if she'd been asleep I would totally have banged her mom on the piano. Instead, I settled on a kiss that would inevitably rock Rach's world so I leaned forward a little more to do just that when we were –you guessed it - interrupted.
By Finn of all people, with Quinn and Eve in tow; it would seem they were just as annoyingly into each other and Rachel and I was. If only they'd respect my need for solitude with my woman and things would be great.
"Hi you two," Rachel got to her feet and went to grab Caroline, who'd gotten a wee bit close to the bundle of chairs for it to be comfortable for any of us. "What's up?"
"If it ain't important, beat it," I ordered with my usual diplomatic finesse and took Caroline out of Rachel's arms when the little munchkin tried to more or less jump out of them as she caught sight of me. Yep, just another proof that women of all ages wanted to be around the Puckerone bag of Awesomeness.
"Noah!" Rachel admonished and turned to Quinn, "I'd apologize for my boyfriend's uncouth mouth but you all know how he is by now so it'd be futile."
Quinn smiled and handed Eve to Rachel, who immediately went back into mother mode and made funny faces at the little girl, who ate it all up just as eagerly as our kid did.
"Actually we came because we heard a little birdie sing about you being on your own this upcoming weekend, ("My Dads are on a much awaited Rosie O'Donnell Cruise; they wanted us to tag along, but school would suffer too much- oh, I'm sorry; please continue", Rach blushed at the small glare her best girlfriend sent her way before continuing like Rachel hadn't said a word) and…well," Quinn's eyes traveled up to Finn who was still gulping at the death glare I was sending his way for ruining my fun with my girl. She nudged him rather firmly in the ribcage and he broke out of the well deserved terror I'd awoken in him.
"Oh, yeah and err…" he looked down at Quinn for something, it was clear that they'd rehearsed their lines before seeking us out and my annoyance was slowly transforming into amusement. Of course, then Finn finished his request and I was outright joyful. "We kindda wanted to throw a party at your house, getting us all together and pumped up and stuff like that."
I was immediately on board, 'cause let's face it, I hadn't exactly cut loose for a while. Not that I missed it, don't go thinking that, but still, I was a teenage boy who had a hot girl and a hell of a lot of hormones and a house to ourselves. You do the math.
But, none surprisingly, Rachel wasn't as keen on the idea as me and pointed out that Mr. Shue had volunteered us all for a song at the assembly, to promote alcohol awareness and then a long spiel about double standards and other phony words I barely knew the meaning off.
It was only when Quinn said she'd arranged for Finn's mom, Carol to babysit and Finn threw in a comment about Rachel not knowing how to have fun that she eventually changed her mind.
"All right," I grinned, lifting my little girl up in the air and meeting her sparkling eyes that looked so much like my own that it was eerie sometimes, "Guess the Most Awesome Kickass Puckleberry House Party Extravaganza is officially a go."
"Dude, no wonder you never invite us over to shoot pool in your basement," it was Mike, who dared utter the words and I sent him a soundless snarl; letting it travel to the other Gleeks that seemed to share his immediate distaste of the "art" in front of us.
I mean, sure; the portrait that Hiram and Abraham had had made of Rachel the summer before I started dating her the first time was ugly – hell, it was downright creepy, but I'd be damned if I'd let any of my so called friends point it out to Rach, who'd always been extremely touched by the monstrosity.
Thankfully, Quinn arrived in the door to the basement just in time to hear Mike's remark and she promptly slapped him on the back of his head and continued on her way, throwing a comment my way that Rach needed me in our room and I quickly left, secretly hoping she needed me to fuck her senseless before the party really got going.
But all thoughts of sexing up my usually hot as fuck woman got derailed the second I saw what she was wearing. It looked like a carpet and a 70's drape had mutated into something that someone had vomited on…with light green frills…
"Babe…" I began, my eyes almost crying for mercy as I just couldn't look away, "is that what you're wearing?"
Rachel looked down at herself before meeting my gaze with this cute little frown of confusion. "Yes, Noah; this is my wardrobe for the evening. It was basically a steal; I got it one day when I was out walking with Caroline and I just haven't had the right occasion to wear it yet. This is definitely it, don't you think? Or…" Rachel's old insecure self briefly resurfaced and I wanted to kick myself in the nuts for making that happen, "don't I look good enough?"
Shaking off the pure revulsion I had for that God awful dress( and I use that term loosely here) of hers, I swept her into my arms and slanted my lips across hers in the most passionate kiss I could muster without taking us to the next level.
"You're always a big ass beauty to me," I smirked, grinning widely when Rachel's face morphed into something that clearly didn't know whether to be delighted at the compliment or…well, offended by my compliment's pretty non poetic vocabulary. In the end though, Rachel just smiled and took my hand, dragging me down to the basement where Quinn had played the hostess until we returned.
It took about thirty minutes, but then most of the people we'd invited were present, and as I was just about to text my last invites about their whereabouts there fell an awkward silence over everyone and I looked up the stairs to meet Dave's nervous gaze.
It wasn't just Dave's – for everyone but a select few – unexpected arrival that brought on the silence; no, it was the person who was standing quietly next to him with a barely repressed sneer on his face; Azimio.
I honestly didn't know what the fuck to do, 'cause I wanted Dave to be here, but that fuckwit with him, could just die for all I cared after all the shit he'd heaped on us over the last year; but once again, Rachel took the decision for me and quickly walked up the stairs to envelope Dave in a fierce hug.
"David, I'm so happy you could make it; and you brought your friend as well...Although not expected Azimio; welcome to my home and I hope you'll enjoy yourself and be nice."
The 'or else', was clearly visible in Rachel's tensed shoulders so I hurried after her and placed my hands on her shoulder to relax her, meeting Azimio's gaze at the same time.
"Fuck with us and I'll make you bleed. Other than that; have fun." Was my greeting and I slapped him sociably on the back, just a tiny bit harder than was comfortable before I dragged Rachel with me down to the others.
"I gotta say, Dave's got some balls to bring his pal here," I practically spewed venom, the moment, Rach and I were in the back gathering cups for everyone (don't make me tell you about the full out battle I had had to convince her that we'd need real alcohol at the party…)
Rachel sighed, handing me a bag of unopened cups to place near the unopened bottles on the table as she spoke softly, "I don't think David is responsible for this unconventional invite."
I followed the discreet look she sent into the other side of the room and damn near dropped my jaw at the sight of a blushing Azimio nodding down at the pint sized Sunshine, who looked way too happy that the school's number one bully (after I'd retired of course) was near her.
Something struck me in that moment and I instantly returned my attention to Rachel. "Wait; is that what you two were arguing about the other day? Sunny's digging the wannabe Puckzilla?"
Rachel chuckled gently at my words and just nodded. "I couldn't quite keep myself from reminding her of the things he'd done over the years, least of all the part where he all but put you in your grave."
I rolled my eyes fondly; Rachel was still extremely hung up about that and I had to admit that a tiny part of me was enjoying it immensely. I mean, I'd never had someone so righteously angry on my behalf before I started dating her and I loved every second of it.
"I gotta say that the girl gets around; wasn't she totally into Finn like a minute ago?"
Rachel shrugged; a move she seemed to have picked up from me. "I honestly cannot understand the going on's in that girl's mind; but I promised to respect her choices and thus I have to say; let's party."
I raised a fist in the air and roared the same words and breaking through the silence that still lingered in the room. And just 'cause I could, I added a few 'motherfuckers' and 'hell yeah's' as well.
The party itself was fucking amazing most of the time. There'd been a little drama when Kurt tried to sneak out with an already clearly intoxicated Blaine that didn't want to leave. What the hell that party animal was doing hanging around Beyonce I didn't know, but Rach vouched for him and said some crap about knowing ones enemy or something like that.
Dave had shown his balls yet again and stopped the smaller guy from leaving, apologizing loudly and I caught a few confused looks 'cause no one but a very few of us knew just what he was actually saying sorry for. I guess they all had sort of forgotten the bullying thing for the night.
Kurt had frozen up like…well, something frozen; clearly struck numb by the abrupt apology, but then Blaine jumped in and hugged them both, yelling about love and harmony and I don't know what else, but Kurt and Dave both smiled at him, so I guess it's a gay thing. Good for them.
Anyway, we played Spin the Bottle for a bit and I got to see some pretty weird couples emerge, if only for the few seconds the kiss took. I mean, Rach and Quinn were totally hot and I wasn't the only one adjusting my pants; hell even Santana looked at little hot and bothered at the sight. Then there was Artie and Mercedes, who couldn't stop giggling; Brittany and yours truly (I merely pecked her on the lips quickly, 'cause I had slept with her once and didn't want Rachel to be too uncomfortable – fuck off, I'm not whipped…much.).
Finn got Sunshine, but wisely called for a bathroom break to avoid any confrontations between the tiny girl and his current girlfriend, who – as time went on – turned out to be a pretty mean drunk.
Then Blaine got me and I showed him – and everyone else - that I wasn't in the least bit scared of my masculinity and kissed the snot out of him. Gotta say though, I was a bit worried when he sent me a dazed smile and slipped me his phone number a few seconds afterwards.
Sam got to kiss a completely hilariously giggling Tina and a twitching Mike got the, for some reason weeping Santana. The kiss between a reluctant to participate Rachel and Azimio though, damn near made me see red for a few seconds, 'cause she was giving him all she had.
It was only after that I realized that she was proving a point, 'cause she smirked and leaned back into my arms and slurred drunkenly, "I may be a boring Gleek that somehow deserves to be ostracized by you and yours and everyone else, but if your dick isn't hard right now, my dads are really heterosexual men living together to avoid the unwed females of Lima, Ohio."
Everyone was silent for a split second, before Sunshine suddenly burst into a drunken snort and we all started laughing. When things settled down again, we continued with the game where Kurt's bottle stopped at Dave's unmoving form.
"I gotta-" Dave began, probably prepared to beg out of the kiss like the coward he was, but then Kurt, who'd started drinking only after Blaine had started making googoo eyes at me, sighed dramatically and beckoned him closer.
"I hope this one will be better," he said cryptically and planted his lips squarely on Dave's and well, I gotta say I don't know who was more shocked when Dave suddenly took charge of the kiss and showed the smaller guy just how much better he could be.
"What the hell, Dude?" I heard Azimio whisper yell, just as wasted as the rest of us, but Blaine just swung his arms around him and kissed him as well. Now that was something I know I'll never forget, 'cause that was just fucking awesome.
And, I heard a telltale click and looked away to see that Rach had whipped out her phone and snapped a picture of that kiss. She looked up at me and snuggled closer to me, "this way, if he spreads rumors about David and Kurt, I'll threaten to expose his own homoerotic tendencies in the locker room before football practice come Tuesday; I just know he'll be a lot more reasonable after that."
Was it any wonder why I fucking loved this chick? Really?
"This is just the best party ever," I grinned and kissed her, not even noticing that Kurt vanished quickly after his second – and third – kiss with Dave Karofsky, leaving a very hyper dark haired Dalton Student to sing some karaoke with Mercedes until he passed out on her boobs on stage.
Of course, I wasn't so happy the following Monday when I had to get up early to attend to Caroline 'cause Rach was busy paying homage to the toilet gods for the nth time since our party.
I mean, fuck I really must have gotten rusty, 'cause I was still slightly hungover with the headache from hell even though it'd been almost two days since the damn party and poor Rachel, who'd been a regular booze virgin was just not handling it well at all.
The only time any of us managed to behave like actual human beings was when we were with Caroline. Carol had been pissed when she realized just why she'd been asked to babysit when Finn came stumbling home, trying to do the Locomotive with Quinn firmly attached to his back – seems like she was only a mean drunk to people who weren't Finn and Rachel.
Anyway, she'd gone batshit crazy, but somehow still managed to keep Kurt's dad from finding out about it, saying something about not wanting him to have another heart attack. But she'd waited until Finn and Quinn returned to the land of the living the next day before enacting her perfect revenge; handing them their fussy daughter and leaving for work.
I would have thought it to be a fucking funny thing, if not for the whole her showing up at our house and doing the same thing with Caroline before the whole going to work thing.
And now, after handing the little bundle of energy (where she got it from, since she'd been awake most of the fucking night, I'll never know), to the nanny and I was heading off to school with a very pale Rachel. I rummaged around in the glove compartment for a second before emerging with two pairs of sunglasses. She looked ready to cry with relief as they were put on and I managed a smile…or judging from the soothing shoulder brush she gave me, it might have been a grimace.
Judging from the numerous other sunglasses clad Gleeks (and Dave and Azimio), we weren't the only ones still feeling the aftereffects of the party. We stood in a semicircle, attracting quite a few looks when Dave and a weird looking Azimio joined us – the latter taking up stance next to the exchange student, who barely reached his elbows. From the slightly turned head in Dave's direction every now and again, I got a pretty big suspicion that the black jock was finally in the know about where Dave preferred to stick his dingdong, so I promised myself I'd look out for any possible trouble…as soon as I was able to walk without my brain hopping about my skull of course.
Our little silent meeting was broken up when Mr. Shue suddenly showed up and reminded us all that we had a long torturous day ahead of us; practicing for that damn assembly…
"Rach," I whispered in the terrified silence that our ignorant teacher left behind, "if I go hide in my truck until this day is over, will you think less of me?"
"Only if I'm not there with you," was her reply and I grabbed her hand and dragged her to our sanctuary as quickly as my aching head would allow.
A/N Can't say when the next update is, sorry. But always check my profile where I keep my stats updated – or follow me on twitter on symbol maipigen (yep, I'm that imaginative). I hope you enjoyed this and that I didn't disappoint my fellow BIOTA fans…
Until Next Time