Puck loses his temper
I don't own Glee or any of its franchise despite my longing to be a millionaire and all.
A/N Hope everyone had a great time at the holidays! Thanks for all the lovely reviews they really warmed my heart! I feel I must warn you about this chapter for some reason…oh well *whistles innocently and then runs away to hide in some hidden bunker*.
Unbetaed Chapter, but I'd appreciate someone telling me if they spot any errors. Thanks(:
After Hannah's emotional visit, I could feel myself grow a little bit more somber; don't get me wrong, I was still smiling and feeling almost like my usual self whenever I was around my girls, Abraham and Hiram and hell, I still enjoyed hanging around the other Gleeks( when they weren't being pain in the asses towards Rachel for one of their idiotic reasons, like everybody wanting to write original songs all of the sudden after dissing her ideas for weeks)…but through all of that, I now had this continuing cloud of guilt hanging over me and I knew it was affecting me more and more and getting more obvious to those who knew me well.
I only realized it 'cause I finally snapped one day during glee where Santana had just finished singing a song that…well, let's just say I'll never look at Sam's mouth the same after hearing it.
Rachel had been grumbling through every second of it and I found myself getting more and more annoyed at her; I couldn't see why the whole thing mattered to her anyway. As Santana was cut off from finishing her song, Rach mumbled something about thanking the man upstairs, albeit in a lot more words, and I turned to her and scowled.
"What's your problem? She's got every right to sing her fucking song, Rach."
Rachel's brown eyes widened drastically at my tone and she leaned away from me; I guess I didn't look too safe to be around at the moment and for some reason that pissed me off even more; she should know I would never harm her.
"Noa-" Rach began, but I just rolled my eyes and continued on spewing acid words that a big part of me was desperately trying to keep inside of me without success.
"It's not like you've got the right to act all high and mighty when the rest of us want to show off our writing; sure, Santana's song sucked, but you don't know if one of us – aside from you – got the perfect song in our head just waiting to pop out. Whether you like it or not, Berry, it's not always about you!"
"Hey!" I turned my head away from Rachel shocked and truly hurt eyes to face the one calling out and daring to interrupt me, only to get the mother of all slaps a second later, by a furious looking Quinn.
The logical part of me was all ready to grovel at Rach's feet, but I wasn't exactly in the right mind to listen to that part, so instead I stood up abruptly, tipping over my chair roughly and glared at the blonde I'd once crushed on. She too stepped back with widened eyes and Finn's big figure suddenly stepped in-between us and that's when I got a bit of my sanity back and I blinked out of the red rage that had enveloped me so suddenly and so viciously.
"Fuck…" I glanced around the room, skimming over all of the shocked expressions – even Mr. Shue looked completely gobsmacked at my sudden mood change - and then just turned and left the room, 'cause I didn't have the guts to look at Rach's disappointed eyes one more time. "Fuck!" I screamed as I exited the Choir Room and I just needed to get out all of my frustration.
But, since I was not the same moron I used to be in regards to tracking down a dweeb and bullying him for no good reason to feel a little better about myself, I slammed my hand into the nearest available object and didn't even wince when it turned out to be one of the glass windows into Miss Pillsbury's office.
Let's just say the expression on the guidance counselors face quickly brought me completely back to the real world and I tried to smile soothingly at the germophope even as I was taking out a pretty big piece of glass from my injured hand and arm.
Next thing I know, she's dragging me to the hospital; fortunately I wasn't followed by the entire glee club (not that they'd want me around any time soon if I had to guess) 'cause I'd hurt myself during class so no one had witnessed the incident. Thank fuck for that small mercy at least.
At the hospital, I finally convinced the frantic ginger haired woman to go home and I got her to promise not to say anything, citing some bull about confidentiality or something and I tried getting my shit together again as I sat there watching the doctor examine my hand, taking out the shards of glass still embedded in my skin.
And then, just as I thought the day couldn't get any worse, I was spotted by none other than my mother as she walked over to the doctor to tell him he was being paged.
"N-Noah!" She gasped and took in the pitiful sight of me sitting there with my bloodied shirt and the doctor stitching me up again. "What happened to you?"
"Apparently," the doctor answered when I refused, completely disregarding the whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing by the way, "Rambo here decided to see if glass is just as easily broken as in the movies, isn't that right, Son?"
"Just do your job," I murmured impolitely and looked away as my mother's voice said something about finishing me up and bandaging my arm and hand so the good doc could get on with his day.
"So…" she said after a few moments after the doctor left, "wanna tell me what this is all about? I know I don't have a right to ask and expect answers, Noah, but if possible, I'd like to know what's going on with you."
For some reason, I actually told her what had happened and why and then I went a step further and blurted out the whole fucking thing about feeling like crap after Hannah's visit and how much I'd realized I missed the little brat and stuff like that.
As I trailed off, finishing telling it all to my mother of all people, she just sighed heavily and looked down at the used instruments on the tiny table between us.
"I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything better, but it never really works that way. What I can say is this though," Ma's eyes looked back into mine and I froze at the sheer amount of shame she was portraying to me, "you are not the one who's fucked up everything, Noah. Hannah knows that too – or at least realizes that I'm the real reason you had to be separated, trust me on that one."
The wry smile on her face told me that Hannah had been displaying her own tantrums in our mother's direction and I copied the smile without really noticing at first. "Told you she could be a real little bi…uhm, a real little Puckerman, remember?"
Ma grinned loudly, even snorting a little and I had a flashback to the last time I'd seen that particular grin. It'd been right before my dad left and I'd said something funny to Ma's swollen belly (I don't remember what exactly) that had set her off.
Damn, I guess she really was getting herself back together for real this time…
I blinked out of my thoughts, noticing the raised brows on my mother's face that told me that she'd been speaking for a while. "Yeah?"
"You look tired. I think I should go call the Berrys'."
"No!" I exclaimed, standing up abruptly. Sheepishly I sat back down again when two big ass orderlies immediately reacted over by the doors, used to stepping in to protect the medical staff, I guess. "No, thanks," I corrected softly a moment later, when Ma had nodded that everything was okay to the before mentioned dudes.
"I hurt Rachel today, so I'm not even sure I'm very welcome there right now anyhow," I added quietly, when Ma just leaned back and crossed her arms in a move that clearly told me I was full of bullshit.
"Then at the very least," she said, "let me take you home and explain that it's perfectly natural for kids with abusive backgrounds to-"
Here I was the one snorting violently and shaking my head like she was speaking a foreign language, but to my big surprise, her small hands landed firmly on my shoulders a second later, and her eyes bore into mine with an intensity that made me want to run and hide for some reason.
"Don't do that, Noah," Ma ordered calmly and continued intently, as though me grasping her next words were the most important thing in her life, "You were abused, Noah Puckerman, of that there is no doubt. First by that idiotic father of yours and then – as if life hadn't dealt you enough of a shitty hand – I go and add to that scenario and forced you to grow up way to soon and abusing you my own damn self."
"Ma…" I was unable to speak further, 'cause damn, the look in her eyes were burning through my skin and into my very soul.
"I don't expect your forgiveness," she went on with a small, sad smile; "Hell, I don't even want it right now, 'cause I don't deserve it at all. Especially since I tried ruining your good life alongside that Shelby woman…anyway, that's not important; I just want to take my son home to his family so he doesn't wind up letting his temper fuck up his life like I did mine."
I had to swallow a small smile at her words, 'cause I knew that her language would've made Rachel gasp in outrage since my mother rarely talked like that in public…at least not when she was sober, I guess I should add, but something told me that I'd seen my mother drunk off her ass for the last time and I can't say that I didn't like the idea completely.
"Also," Ma slid her hands off my shoulders and looked away to regain her composure, "the whole thing with Hannah will blow over, she's already tried writing an apology letter to you several times and is waiting for you to call and tell her you hate her for saying such bad things about Caroline. Just act normal when you do call and time will mend the rest, I'm sure."
I sighed and stood up as Ma added briskly that we'd chatted enough for now and that she'd drive me home to the Berry house when her break started and that was to be the end of that.
As my mother dropped me off in front of the house (I'd convinced her that I'd prefer apologizing alone), I turned to walk inside and was met with Rachel's silhouette in the doorway. It was still rather early, so I realized that she'd went home after my blow up in Glee and I swallowed down my guilt as best as I could and tried to formulate a decent apology.
When Rachel didn't move a muscle, I honestly didn't know what to do. I mean, was I even still welcomed into her house? Was she just waiting for me to get to her so she could hand me my bag and throw me out officially, warning me off of ever seeing my daughter again?
The thought terrified me so much that I damn near forgot to breathe for a second.
I don't know how long we stood there, across the front lawn staring at each other. Her eyes filled with an unrecognizable emotion that made chills run down my spine in a continuous loop. It ended up being Abraham's car pulling into the driveway that broke our locked gazes.
Judging by the man's smile as he got out of his car, I knew Rachel hadn't told her dads' anything yet and I barely resisted the urge to flee, 'cause it was bad enough already that Rach was pissed at me (rightfully so and all) but having Abraham angry too, would probably result in my death in the near future – I mean, the dude was usually my biggest supporter, but even he wouldn't stand for me hurting his little girl.
Since I had a little girl myself, I respected that viewpoint, but still…the dude was big as hell and was probably one of the few people who could actually kick my ass if he wanted to.
"Hey Son," he greeted, not noticing my flinch 'cause his dark eyes zoomed in on the bandaged hand that I was halfway hiding and I had to tell him some crap about tripping and falling through some glass to break my fall.
He was sympathetic and quickly whisked me past Rachel to the kitchen where Hiram was standing with a big smile of greeting that quickly turned into his usual mother hen mode at the sight of my hand and the two of them spent the rest of the evening trying to make me feel better, seemingly not taking in at all that Rach and I hadn't spoken one word to each other since I'd gotten back.
The evening flew by and I dreaded the moment where I had to follow my (I hoped at least) girlfriend up to bed and would have to jump into some explanations and pleading apologies. Fortunately, some of my attention went to Caroline, who was being a bit more fussy than she usually was, actually almost moaning when I picked her up, but even she succumbed to her exhaustion eventually and after putting her to bed, I walked up our bedroom like a dude on his way to his execution.
Only to be shocked at the sight of Rach cleaning up the bed from several of crumpled up pieces of paper. "I finished the song," she declared, a hint of pride behind her words and I dumbly congratulated her, feeling like I'd stepped into the fucking twilight zone.
We got ready for bed and I didn't know what to do with myself. I damn near squealed like a little girl, when Rachel unceremoniously slung her legs over mine and whispered softly, "I know you didn't mean it, Noah. I was hurt initially and shocked as well, but after having gone over everything in my head, I now understand that you had to react to the tumult of your life somehow and I just ended up being in the wrong place in the wrong time…Also, I wish you'd stop acting out so much when you're feeling emotional – you have very lovely hands and they don't deserve such treatment from you."
Dumbfounded, gobsmacked or whatever the word was, it still couldn't describe my feelings right then, so I just embraced the tiny woman at my side, thanking her softly and quietly told her all of what had happened between Ma and me before we drifted off to sleep.
The next day was the day of our Regional's Competition and I can't believe I forgot that even for a second. I mean, Rachel Berry is the woman I love, remember?
From the get go, she was energetic and full of confidence of our impending victory, saying over and over that her song was brilliant and that she'd sent the chords to Brad, the piano guy last afternoon after finishing them, and she promised me –like it was important to me – that we'd get plenty of opportunity to run over the new song and get it right. She smirked a little at those last three words, something I didn't quite get until I heard the title of the song.
Her joy dimmed a little though when I came out of the nursery with an obviously feverish Caroline that didn't seem willing to wake up completely. Immediately, she started spewing some bull about staying home. I saw the clear disappointment in her eyes, so I turned to Hiram, who wasn't working that day and asked if he thought he could handle a sick kid while we were away for the competition.
"Of course," Hiram quickly agreed, having seen the same slight reluctance in Rachel that I had and didn't want her to give up what she'd waited to eagerly for.
It took some convincing, but eventually I dragged Rach out the door, ignoring the part of myself that really didn't want to leave Caroline behind when she was getting sick and off we went to Regional's.
The initial greeting that I got when I showed up with Rach was cool at best. Damn, for some kids that never really knew if the liked or despised my girl, they sure were protective of her, I thought with a gulp (it was a manly gulp, so shut up.).
Fortunately, Rachel's competition mode, quickly transformed the glares into pleading looks, 'cause apparently, I was the only one who thought that she was cute when she got like this. The others – even Quinn – looked ready to throw her out of the bus as we rehearsed her admittedly awesome song for the billionth time in a row.
The singing and performing itself went off without a hitch; I was fucking thrilled 'cause this was the first time I'd ever really been to a competition with Rachel not being rightfully angry or hurt by me.
Kurt and his friend, Blaine even congratulated us on our win once the hysteria from Coach Sylvester's unexpected reaction to losing to us had died out. I noticed that Blaine looked rather gloomily over at Kurt from time to time, but he didn't seem to realize it, busy as he was whispering with Rachel and Mercedes.
I, being my usual diplomatic self, asked the overly hair gelled guy just what his problem was and he actually told me he was crushing on Beyonce, but that he'd sort of turned him down since he himself were going through some complicated feelings for another.
I smirked internally at that, reminding myself to give Dave a call or a text as soon as I could, 'cause I had a pretty strong feeling who Kurt was talking about. I forgot it a moment later, when Rachel wrapped herself around me and kissed the hell out of me in her own joy.
All in all, it was a pretty kickass time and I didn't really want it to end and Mr. Shue seemed to share my feelings, 'cause he gathered us all and took us out to eat before we'd crash in the hotel and head home the next morning. Hell, he even got permission to get Kurt to join us from his rarely seen Warbler coach.
It was pretty nice and I was on such a high that I didn't hear my cell phone. It was only when I remembered I had to send a message to Dave about Kurt's hints that I realized that I had about 23 missed calls in the last hour.
An icy feeling crept over me and I quickly turned to my left and shouted down the table to Rachel, who was sitting between a smiling Quinn and a giggling Mercedes, to check her phone. Frowning at my tone, she did as asked and turned wide eyes at me – I guess she too had a lot of missed calls.
Just as I was about to see who'd called and return their call, the phone in my hand rang again and I quickly picked up when I saw Hiram's name blinking out at me.
"Noah? Oh thank heavens," Hiram's voice was hoarse and frantic, like he'd screamed or cried for ages and I felt the telltale feeling of doom wash over me again.
"What's wrong with her?" I didn't doubt that he was calling about Caroline. At my words, people around me hushed so Rachel could listen in and I didn't even realize I'd dropped the phone before Mr. Shue handed it to Rachel and her cry of miserable disbelief echoed through the restaurant. No, all I heard was Hiram's voice repeating the same sentence over and over again in my head.
"She got worse and I took her to the doctor; she's got meningitis Noah and it's not looking good."
A/N *peeking at the readers from an undisclosed location* I did warn you…Remember threats doesn't motivate the muse, genuine reviews do;)
Until Next Time