Puck goes to a reunion Part 1
I don't own Glee or Any of its franchise – I mean, isn't it obvious since Bryan decided to ruin the 100th episode for all Puckleberry fans?
A/N So… This just popped out after I got a review and started thinking and twisting things. One day I may write a full on high school reunion fic, but this had to come first. I can't say when the next part comes, or even if part 2 comes in ch. 58, 'cause there's another little extra chapter running amuck inside my brain these days after another review I got ;) That said, I really, truly hope you'll like it and that my Puck voice hasn't lost appeal after so long and so many years have passed in the 'Verse itself. Please comment and let me know what you think!
"It's so fucking weird, how fast time goes by," I muttered as I struggled with the damnable tie that my wife had suggested I wear. I say "suggested", but we all know if I hadn't chosen that fucking tie I'd be in the doghouse right now, and I don't care how old I get, that's not a place I wanna be.
Especially these days…
"Dad," my son, Cory's voice distracted me from my wife's never-ending craziness and I looked over my shoulder at him. "Mom's getting antsy, so you better hurry up before she actually has to come looking for you."
Grinning at the boy that was literally the spitting image of me at that age, sans the awesome 'hawk, I pointed at the tie and without a word, my almost ten-year-old son reached up and did it for me. He may look like me, but he was crazy smart like his mom, so naturally the tie looked awesome and I ruffled his dark hair in gratitude, before making my way downstairs to my waiting wife.
In my haste, I narrowly missed slamming into my other son, Chalfon – still don't know why I honored the "name one twin each" agreement, Rach and I had when I heard that she wanted my boy to have a traditional Hebrew name. Seriously, who names their kid after a flute? Just sayin'.
"Dude," Cal, as I'd always insisted on calling the kid for both our peace of minds, "Mom's completely lost it. The paps aren't outside, so I don't get her deal."
Grinning at the second boy in the world, that was lucky enough to look just like me, I just reached out and ruffled his hair like I'd done to his twelve minute older brother.
"Don't," Cal practically growled, "it took forever to get this awesome." Unlike his brother, Cal was just like me. I loved it, until Rach pointed out how I'd been when I hit puberty and then it turned in to actual dread for the years to come.
"Dad!" My oldest child roared, and with a quick eye-roll, that I prayed she didn't spot, I finally reached the bottom of the stairs that led down to the gigantic suite that was only a small part of our cliché luxury super hotel experience that all superstars just had to have. Another one of my wife's ideas, in case you hadn't figured that one out.
"I'm here, I'm here," I placated Caroline, who still took my breath away just by being there. She was only a few weeks shy of turning twenty-one and to make matters worse, she was six months pregnant with twins.
"Good," she greeted me with an angelic smile that belittled her earlier raging roar, "'cause mom's outside in the limo, waiting. Also, she's stolen my crackers, so I'm gonna order room service after you left as part of the payment for my babysitting duties."
The glare she sent me, warned me to even think about denying her and I did the only thing I could think of, I told her to order whatever she liked. The warm smile that was so like her mother's that it made me weak in the knees, was proof that I hadn't made a bad call.
"Mister Puckerman, your wife is quite adamantly asking for your presence," the suite's designated butler interrupted my small moment with my oldest kid, and it was only 'cause the older man looked as if he'd just battled the Kraken all by his lonesome that I didn't tell him to wait until I was good and ready.
Sighing, I quickly grabbed my jacket and kissed Caroline on the cheek, and rubbed her belly gently. "You take care, Sweetie. Call me or Mom anytime if you need to. Love ya."
Caroline smiled, her tired eyes lighting up at the declaration even as she verbally returned the words. Chancing another few minutes of delay, I wrapped my girl into my arms and held her tightly, knowing from past experiences that her mood swings were making her grief all the more unstable.
"He loves you too, Sweetie, don't doubt that for a second."
"I know," Caroline whispered, clinging to me tightly for another moment before all but shoving me out the door. "Now go, before the other moody woman in your life turns violent."
The butler, who'd stood somewhat impatiently in the doorway since his last words, paled dramatically and I couldn't help but grin even as the sorrow from my daughter's broken heart lingered in the air.
After one last look at Caroline, who seemed to have gotten herself back together, I ran down to the lobby and out the door without any regard to possible paparazzi in the area. I'd cut it close already and I knew better than anyone that Rach wasn't the most stabile person these days.
A moment later, I jumped inside the car, and I managed to cut off my wife's voice that was quite firmly telling the poor schmuck of a driver to go get her husband immediately. "Hi, Babe," I greeted her, and warded off her upcoming complaints and lectures about promptness by adding, "Caroline had a moment."
Rach instantly stilled, and turned somber. "Was it bad? Do I need to go back upstairs? The reunion can wait, if she needs me."
"Nah," I settled in next to Rach's side, wrapping her in my arms, "she was eager to get me outta there, so she could no doubt corrupt the boys into eating as much junk as she's doing these days."
Rach laughed softly, leaning her head on my shoulder with a heavy sigh. I didn't have to ask what was going through her head 'cause I was probably thinking the same.
When Caroline had come home from college for her first summer vacation, she'd completely blown us all away when she introduced her boyfriend, Seth. He was a tall, gangly dude that looked like he could be knocked over by a gust of wind – also, he wore these dorky-looking glasses that, unlike Caroline, made him look like a huge geek.
The only reason I'd accepted him in the end was the fact that he didn't seem to give a fuck about who his girlfriend's parents were. Dorky as it sounds, he only had eyes for her. That didn't stop me from messing with the kid, scaring the shit out of him whenever possible, but he'd taken it with a smile and I'd grown to love him like a member of my own family.
Of course that went out the window when he'd asked me for my daughter's hand in marriage (yup, he was that much of a nerd). I'd forced him to answer all sorts of questions, threatening death and mayhem if my little girl was ever hurt, channeling Abraham Berry to the best of my abilities. He'd taken everything like a man, and for reasons unknown, I'd walked my girl up the aisle to that geeky kid on her twentieth birthday. Neither of them had ever looked happier, except when they informed us a few months later that they were expecting.
They were happy and he seemed to handle the Berry-crazy gene that was in Caroline with ease, and then, the stupid son of a bitch had to go play the hero in a mugging gone wrong. He was shot down trying to tackle some meth-head that was beating an old man for cash.
Now, nearly five months later, Caroline was putting everything into her pregnancy, not wanting his death to be in vain. She was still a far cry away from the happy young woman, she'd been and something told me that Caroline's eyes would always have that trace of sadness that made me want to commit murder to erase.
We'd all loved Seth, and Rach had formed a special bond with him in particular since it turned out that despite first appearances, the kid was a huge fan of hers. I had no doubt in my mind that if Caroline needed her to, Rach would drop out of the reunion she'd all but threatened her own agent to be allowed to go to.
Forcing the image of a smiling Seth out of my mind, I blew out a deep breath and finally looked over at the frozen driver. "Dude," I made a push forward motion with my free hand, "this car ain't gonna drive itself, ya know."
"Noah, be nice," Rachel's admonishment was soft-spoken and more than likely not entirely heartfelt. I just grinned my roguish grin as she called it, and forced her head back down on my shoulder.
"Just relax, Baby," I mumbled, kissing her soft hair, "you need to save your strength for all the ass-kicking you're gonna do tonight."
I could practically hear the eye-roll my attempt at soothing earned me, and Rach confirmed her annoyance verbally a second later, "Noah Puckerman, I've said it before and I'll say it again, since you so obviously are in dire need of yet another reminder: I'm not an invalid, nor am I feeble or too old to care proper care of myself. I'm simply pregnant…for the third time, so if you'd be ever so kind, hand me those crackers over there so I can fight off my hunger until we reach McKinley."
Smirking inwardly, while keeping a suitably chastened expression on my face that every husband has to learn to get by in life, I simply said what my seven month pregnant wife expected from me as I reached forward to grab the crackers she'd requested.
About half an hour later, the limo finally pulled up to a place I honestly can't tell you if I'd missed or not. There were so many mixed up memories that struggled to remind me of what a huge dick I'd been, while at the same time there were some that kept telling me I'd had some of my best things happening there.
Looking over at Rach, who was busy primping and trying to make herself look even more presentable than usual, I couldn't exactly say that it was a lie. Within that school was where my eyes had finally seen my wife for more than the cute, yet annoying, chick that I loved to torment. These days I just loved her, a fact that hadn't changed since we left that school twenty years ago.
As if sensing my staring, Rach looked over at me with a small smile, "What?" The love I saw in her eyes had only grown in our time together, and even though it probably made me a sappy shit from time to time, I just couldn't get enough of her. I had a feeling that it was something that would never change.
Even though my career had taken off just as hers had, earning me a couple of Grammy awards and even one Oscar for the movie that Rach had forced me into after kicking some butt in Caroline's high school years ago, I still thought that she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. It was a fact that the paps and several talk-show hosts had tried messing with over the years without any luck.
"Noah?" Rach's voice brought me back to the present, and I just shrugged and got out of the limo to help her. Graceful wasn't exactly easy to achieve when you were as tiny as she was and more than a little pregnant…and wearing heels.
Due to the presence of several more or less famous celebrities, the entire school area was closed off. Several burly security guards stood along the school grounds, eyeing their surroundings so intently, that I wouldn't be surprised if any people that did try to sneak in were gonna get their ass whooped.
Rach clenched my hand firmly, and I could see a rush of mixed emotions on her face as she too eyed the school that had at one point meant so much to us. "It is kind of amusing, you know," she started, turning her head to smile at me in thanks as I wrapped her arm into mine as I began leading us inside. "We used to be the stereotypical teenage parents cliché that every school seems to have, and yet we return now with celebrity status of a whole other degree."
Chuckling, I couldn't resist teasing her a little, "Well, come on, Sweetie; that's totally the reason you wanted to come to this reunion in the first place, wasn't it?"
"Hush, Noah," Rach laughed, not denying my claim in the least. Her laugh stopped a moment later, when we finally entered McKinley High and we were interrupted by a familiar face.
"Damn, it's good to see you two," Sam hollered and ran up to us, kissing Rach on the cheek and gave me one of those one armed man hugs that real dudes have to make when they see each other.. Shut up, we like to hug in my family, alright?
"You look relieved to see us," I grabbed Rach's clammy hand and squeezed it comfortably when out of the corner of my eyes I began to notice the stares from the small groups of people that were already lingering in the hall, "I thought you said you'd enjoy some time off from the band this month."
Sam's ginormous mouth twisted into a grin that still got him swooning girls to this day - not as many as me, though, 'cause I'm still Puckzilla – and he shrugged awkwardly, "Guess I can't live without you anymore, Puck."
"Whilst seeing your bromance is still going as strong as ever always brings a smile to my face," Rachel's amused voice cut in before I could respond to Sam in my usual err… delicate manner, "I really need to go to the restroom, and I would appreciate having you stand guard in front of the door, in case someone enters that may act ill-advised at my presence."
Sam nodded quickly and immediately hurried to make sure that no one could enter the restroom. He gave me the finger behind Rach's back when he spotted my teasing grin. Apparently, Sam could still vividly remember her last pregnancies and her unstable mood swings and was eager as I normally was to avoid any and all outburst of madness.
A voice I didn't recognize distracted me from my fond memories of the time where Sam had literally been chased into the pool in our backyard when he'd told Rachel that she looked tired when she was pregnant with the boys.
Turning around, I straightened my shoulders, 'cause these days I never knew if it was a fan or an old friend that approached me. It was a tall, good-looking woman, who was eyeing my like a piece of meat.
"Hi," I cautiously greeted, and took a small step backwards when she just kept staring into my eyes like the answer to world hunger was in there. "I'm sorry, but I don't quite remember your name."
"Oh, that's totally fine," she said, and this time her nasally voice triggered some kind of almost buried memory. "I'm Karen Henderson – we knew each other back in high school. I just wanted to say hi, and maybe introduce you to my husband, he never believes me when I say we've met before, if you catch my drift."
A blind man could catch that drift, Lady, my less than polite side snarled, but I only nodded and before I knew it, the woman had all but shoved me forward and more or less into some dude's arms.
We had to make some kind of synchronized dance move to avoid smacking fully into each other and then stand like it was a planned move to keep our dignity.
A moment later, the guy lost any and all semblance of cool and started gushing at me like a fourteen year old virgin eyeing her first piece of man meat, and I allowed my mind to wander a little, while Karen and her husband just kept on yapping.
I priced myself on never forgetting a hook up and, let's be honest, before Rachel Berry turned my head; I'd had a few of those. Karen was one of them, and I'd banged her quite a few times, 'cause she gave decent head and was willing to try anything, which cancelled out her awful voice quite nicely. In the end, though, Santana had decided she wanted me again, and Karen and her nasally voice had faded into obscurity pretty quickly.
The silence in front of me, told me that the couple were done acting like little teenage girls, and I reluctantly turned my attention back on them.
"Thanks for the support," the automatic response and fake polite smile left my lips, and Karen's husband held up a phone.
"Mind if I take a picture of you? Karen's talked about you for years, and we'd love a picture to remember tonight."
Judging from the iron grip on my bicep, and the fanatical glint in Karen's eyes, I wasn't gonna get away without posing and with a huge, inwardly sigh, I did just that. I leaned down a little, so our heads were next to each other.
"If you want," Karen whispered, sending shivers of disgust down my spine, "I'm willing to relive the past a little. The janitor's closet is still like it used to be. I checked."
Within a second, I'd jumped away from the horny women's grasp and begun walking away without another word. Fuck, I'd really known how to choose the crazy ones, I decided when I heard Karen burst into tears and her confused husband's frantic soothing.
"Damn," another voice broke into my thoughts, distracting from hating my younger self too much. "Puckerman walking away from trouble, never thought I'd see the day. Gotta say I'm a little disappointed."
I turned my head and locked eyes with one of the other crazy women in my life. At least, I knew how to handle this one. "Well, thank you Satan – So happy that I can still ruin your life a little, it warms my heart."
Santana Lopez, still as beautiful and scary as ever, broke into a big smile that her rival attorneys would have sworn she was incapable of. I held out my arms and embraced her tightly. We hadn't seen each other in almost a year, living on different coasts and all.
"'Sup, Jackass? That hot wife of yours still driving everyone bonkers?"
I grinned and shrugged wordlessly, 'cause there really was no denying the way my awesome wife was.
"Urgh," Santana groaned with a small smile dancing on her lips, "you're still as disgustingly in love with her as ever, aren't you? Makes me sick."
"Then it quite the fortunate coincidence that Noah is indeed my husband and not yours, isn't that right, Santana?" Rachel's voice sounded from behind me, and I turned to look at her with a beaming grin on my face. Her dark eyes were locked on Santana, as if the Latina had just propositioned me.
A small part of me was relieved that Rach didn't see Karen's earlier attempt at seducing me, 'cause let me just say that her jealousy-meter goes up a notch when she's pregnant. It's fuck hot, but not very practical in the long run, to be honest.
"Whatever, Manhands," Santana rolled her eyes. Unlike twenty years ago, the derogatory name for Rach was now meant affectionately and that was the only thing that kept me from glaring at the woman who was basically my female counterpart.
Rachel walked over and hugged her former arch-nemesis and they broke into pearly laughter that I have no idea what was about. Women are weird.
A moment later, they turned to me in tandem and Rach held out her hand for me to take. "Are you ready to partake in what must inevitably go down in McKinley High's history as the most extraordinary reunion ever?"
Santana chuckled and added as she slung her arm around my waist, "Yeah, Puckerman – are you ready for a kickass night? I heard all the old glee club members are here tonight."
I glanced over at the hallway that led into the gymnasium that was being used as the party venue tonight and saw several people already making their way down there and shrugged, playing it as cool as only the Puckasaurus could.
"Sure. Let's go have an epic reunion, ladies." I then led the two of them towards the open doors, not knowing just how true my words would end up being until later.
A/N ...?... You like? I hope so, I'm kinda rusty in the writing department. Thanks for any and all comments!
Until Next Time