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Marry Your Best Friend

By MayFairy

Humor

Marry Your Best Friend

The Doctor nestled himself against the pillows of his bed, not quite ready to rise yet. He did however, slowly open his eyes. Instead of seeing the pillow with Gallifreyan embroidery on it that he was accustomed to sleeping with, he found himself staring into a pair of different coloured eyes, which widened at the exact moment his own did.

They both gave a shout and reflexively jumped backwards in the bed away from each other at the same time.

The blonde woman opposite him made to scramble out of the bed as fast as humanoidly possible, only to discover her severe lack in the clothing department. She remained still, now holding the white sheet a lot tighter around her than before. After a quick check under his side of the sheet, it would seem he was in the same predicament.

The Doctor noted that this was not even his bedroom at all. It was all white with a large window behind Aliya, one that gave a lovely ocean view. They were in some kind of hotel, and evidently not the TARDIS.

"What are we doing here?" The Doctor wondered aloud, glancing at the blonde who was growing increasingly agitated.

"What are we doing here?" She echoed in indignation, "What were we doing in the same bed?"

"Well, there's quite a lot of possibilities…none of which I can think of at this moment," the Doctor said rather lamely.

Aliya huffed and ran a hand through her short blonde curls anxiously. This led to the next frightening discovery.

"What in the name of Rassilon's hairy left-" She began, staring at her hand with a furrowed brow.

"Aliya!" The Doctor cut her off warningly, shooting her a glare.

"Don't you 'Aliya' me!" She retorted before shoving her left hand under his nose. "What the hell is this? And don't you dare say it is what I think it is…" She waited impatiently as he examined the object on her ring finger.

The diamond encrusted golden band spouted tiny rainbows off the sunlight streaming through the glass door.

"Well…it's a wedding ring," he said eventually and brought his own hand up to rest next to hers, showing his own similar golden band, only his was simple and plain. "And I've apparently got one too."

Aliya's eyes widened and she backed away and off the bed, but this time with more strategy. She kept the sheet covering her, half pulling it off the bed as she stood up.

"We're…I'm…" Her tongue tripped over the words.

"Reflected perfectly in the door," the Doctor noted casually with amusement. Aliya's head abruptly turned backwards to see the crystal clear image of her bare body from the back view. She swiftly used the sheet to cover her rear before sending a glare towards the bowtie-less man still sitting on the bed.

"We're…married!" Aliya finally said in disbelief.

The Doctor nodded." It would appear so, though I am curious as to how it happened, and as to why neither of us remember it." 

Aliya noticed a celebration card of some kind sitting on the Doctor's bedside table. She gestured to it and he picked it up and raised his eyebrow at the rude wedding themed cartoon on the front before opening it and reading aloud.

"Dear Doc, Aliya,

Great night. Very touching ceremony, I'll give you that. Glad to see the wedding present went down well. Nothing starts the party better than ten hypervodkas!

Have fun on the honeymoon… ;)

Jack."

The Doctor and Aliya exchanged a look halfway between amusement and badly disguised panic.

"I have a new goal in life…" Aliya said firmly. "Find Captain Jack Harkness and kill him as many times as it takes for him to stop laughing."

"Yes, he'll definitely be feeling pretty pleased with himself," the Doctor agreed.

Aliya began searching for clothes while muttering about hypervodkas under her breath. She stopped suddenly and stood upright as an alarming thought occurred to her.

"But if we got married…and we're on a honeymoon...then-" She trailed off with wide eyes as she stared at the Doctor, who realised what she meant and soon mirrored her expression with his own shock.

She noted that his hair was very ruffled, sticking out in many different directions. She didn't like the implications it gave her.

At the same time, the Doctor was thinking the same things about her hair, which was fluffy and unruly.

He gulped. "No clothes on. Very messy hair."

"You don't think we…?" Aliya asked fearfully, biting her lip.

The Doctor looked aghast. "No, no!" He said quickly, with a considerably larger accent on the second 'no', as he always did, shaking his head. "There's no way we could have…"

She raised an eyebrow and he laughed nervously.

"No, definitely not! I mean, we were just naked, in the same bed, after our wedding night and ten hypervodkas..." He quickly found his boxers (illustrated with little planets and rockets on them) on the floor and pulled them on discreetly before getting out of the bed. "There's no way we could have!" He was getting as desperate as she was now, clutching at straws.

Aliya bent to the floor, examining a pile of clothing that seemed to belong to her.

"Torn dress with missing sequins," She noted dryly, "Broken bra."

She held the offending skin-coloured undergarment up for him to see clearly. He gulped again.

"I suppose there is a slight chance that we may have done…something," he said uncomfortably as the situation and idea began to sink in. He sorted through his own clothes. "Popped trouser and shirt buttons…" His voice had changed to a more accepting tone now, merely stating the facts as proof. His eyes travelled to the ceiling chandelier, which bore his tweed jacket proudly. "Jacket on the chandelier…" He then noticed something she had failed to pick up on. "And my bowtie is around your ankle."

Aliya realised he was right and stared at the item of clothing with an exasperated expression.

"So…we did," she said slowly.

"I think we can assume so…" He tilted his head up to look at her with a slightly scared and wide-eyed look. "What do we do now?"

"Clothes might be a good start," she suggested mildly, as in shock as he was.

"Ah, yes, right," he said before standing up quickly and flicking a strand of hair out of his face, his confidence now having returned.

She stood up carefully, with a plan to turn the sheet into some kind of dress, as her own clothes were virtually useless.

The whole thing was sinking into both of their heads, and while they were still unsure of what they were going to do, it was becoming easier to see the more comical side of it as they slowly tidied up the room.

"One thing, Doctor," Aliya said with a small smile.

"Yes, what?" He asked offhandedly as he knelt by her feet and began to untie the bowtie from her ankle.

She smirked down at him.

"I shotgun not telling River."

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