Part A
It’s a particular afternoon; Brenda is in her living room singing Mamba No.5 by Lou Bega on a karaoke machine. “A little bitta Monica on the side. A little bitta Tina all I need. A little bitta Jessica here I am. A little bitta me makes me yo’ man,” she sings. She then starts humming a chord to the song. Outside the house, a Ranchero backs into the driveway. Tabitha, Brenda’s sister and business partner gets out of the Ranchero and pauses and listens to Brenda humming the song from inside the house. Tabitha makes a pitiful expression and walks up to the front door. Brenda starts singing again. “A little bitta Sandra in the sun,” she sings as Tabitha walks through the door. She stands about two feet in back of Brenda with her arms folded and a pitiful look on her face. “A little bitta Candy all night long. A little bitta….,” sings Brenda and she turns around and gets scared when she sees Tabitha in back of her. “Hi mamita! How long you’ve been here?,” asked Brenda. “….auditioning for American Idol?,” asked Tabitha. “I was just testing the merchandise and it works good. I think we can get at least 250 bucks for this thing,” said Brenda. “I don’t think we should sell it,” said Tabitha. “Why not?,” asked Brenda. “….because, you don’t want to deprive yourself of rehearsals for your next concert tour, Miss Pauline Rubio,” mocked Tabitha. “You never know! I might be a recording artist one day and get out of this business,” said Brenda. “Yeah right! Come outside! I want you to help me get something off the car,” said Tabitha.
The girls walk outside to the Ranchero. There is a big hump covered with a tarp on the bed of Ranchero. “What’s underneath that?,” asked Brenda. “You’ll see when we get it into the house,” said Tabitha. The girls grab the hump off the bed and carry it into the house. “Is it something electronic?,” asked Brenda. “You’re close,” said Tabitha. “I hope it is,” said Brenda. “Prepare to be impressed,” said Tabitha and she yanks the tarp off the hump. It’s a whiskey still used for moonshining and it has accessories added to it such as an electric burner underneath it with a heat volume dial, two pairs of wheels for porting and a power cord. Brenda is puzzled at what she sees. “What is this?,” she asked. “It’s rare antique and it’s worth a lot dough, bro,” said Tabitha. “What is this thing you got?,” asked Brenda. “It’s a king-size cappuccino machine,” said Tabitha. “Is that what is? Where did you get it?,” asked Brenda. “I found it on Highway 7 on the side of the road in front of this ranch,” said Tabitha. “That’s strange! …..country folks drinking cappuccino,” said Brenda. She lifts the lid off the tank and looks down inside it. “UUUUUUHHHHH,” she said, frowns and slams the lid on the tank. “Don’t do that, you’ll break it,” said Tabitha. “What kind of cappuccino did they make in that thing, the spiked kind?,” asked Brenda.
Later that evening, Brenda and Tabitha are watching The Andy Griffith Show in the living room. “Rafe Hollister, I warned you about running a still,” said Andy on TV. “That thing looks just like the cappuccino machine without the wheels and burner. He’s got a fire underneath it,” said Tabitha. “Andy called it a still,” said Brenda. “You’re under arrest, Rafe. You know it’s against the law to make liquor,” said Andy on TV. “Liquor? I think that machine you got is for making liquor. That’s what the inside of it smelt like,” said Brenda. “Andy and Barney are arresting Rafe. I think we got something illegal,” said Tabitha. “Well, we don’t here about people getting arrested for making liquor today. Maybe that was back in the olden days,” said Brenda. “Call the police and find out about it,” said Tabitha. “I can’t do that. We’ll get busted,” said Brenda. “No you won’t. You can remain anonymous and you’re just asking a question. Go ahead call the police,” said Tabitha.
Brenda picks up the phone and dials the operator. “Can you connect me to the San Bernardino Police Department?,” asked Brenda to the operator. She waited for her connection. “Yeah, I like to talked to an officer about a legal matter,” said Brenda. She waited for another connection. “Yes officer, I like to know if it’s illegal today to make liquor from a machine called a still?,” asked Brenda. Brenda hears an earful. “Oh! Okay! Is that so? Thanks for telling me,” she said and she hangs up the phone. “What did the police say?,” asked Tabitha. “We gotta get rid of that thing. They said it’s illegal today to make liquor. It’s just the same as making narcotics. When you boil the liquor it becomes too potent and it can poison you,” said Brenda. “Woe! How do they make the liquor?,” asked Tabitha. “The police said they make it from fermented corn mash, peaches and sometimes strawberries. The alcohol can make people go blind,” said Brenda. “Oh my God! Did they say what the penalty was for making that stuff?,” asked Tabitha. “It’s a felony charge and you can go to prison for it and the crime is called bootlegging or moonshining,” said Brenda. “No wonder why Andy arrested Rafe. We gotta get rid of that thing right away,” said Tabitha. “Before we do, I like to know how that thing works,” said Brenda.
The next morning, the girls have the whiskey still in their backyard boiling some liquor they’re making. “I filled the tank with water, corn meal and peach juice,” said Brenda. “It sure smells good. We could party off this stuff,” said Tabitha. Liquor starts pouring into a bucket from a coiled tube. “This is just like a science experiment. It percolates like a coffee maker. The water shoots up through the tube connected to the lid, through that coiled tube into the bucket,” explained Brenda. “I wonder what it taste like,” said Tabitha. Brenda picks up two coffee cups off the ground. “Let’s try it,” she said. She then places the cups under the liquor stream and fills them. She gives one cup to Tabitha. “Cheers,” said Brenda. They toast and drink the liquor. The girls get a funny look on their faces. Their eyes get big as saucers and they start inhaling and exhaling real fast. “WOOOOOOWOWWWWW!,” they yelled. “This is stuff is too strong,” said Brenda. “Yeah, I almost got an asthma attack,” said Tabitha. “We gotta get rid of this thing right now,” said Brenda. “I can see why it’s illegal. Just unplug it, let cool down and we’ll dump out the liquor inside,” said Brenda.
