Chapter 1: Intro
CHAPTER 1 | INTRO
Whoever thinks that you can crack everything is wrong. I’m a puzzle you can’t solve. I’m a mystery. One with dark pasts. A weird one though. They say they know me, but they only know what I want them to know. It’s always funny when they insist that they want to know me.
I’m hell in disguise, a deep disguise for sure. I always wear a mask every time - whichever mask you think I wear it’s you to guess. Who can fake their expressions, emotions, attitudes, characters, mindsets, and identities? It’s so funny how I’m able to do it.
How I’m able to fool everyone is fantastic. It’s funny when you are looking at someone trying to figure you out Trying to know who you actually are.
It’s annoying sometimes, like all the time. Especially when they are too persistent.
I always try to chase them away however they keep coming back—each of them with the same goal. If they become too much for me, I usually tell them the same story- why not. The story of the raped girl with overprotective brothers.
The girl was betrayed by the so-called love of her life and her so-called best friend forever. This is the same story they should know, not any other story. This is what they should know as of today, tomorrow and in days to come. They aren’t that special to know everything about me.
It’s better that way. Zero disturbance, infinite peace. They will all recite the same story.
What they want to know is impossible for them to handle. I’m too much for myself at least to say- or maybe perhaps.
Most of the time, I always have the urge to become what I was before. They are indirectly or directly forcing me to. Their actions continuously motivate me to be a version I never liked.
Cold. unapproachable. Indifferent. No emotion left. At least to say a psychopath.
But my dark past. A past that I don’t like reliving. It is terrifying, horrible. All words that describe anything disgusting. It’s full of excess trauma which I also avoid knowing exists. Memories which I force myself to forget. Memories made me who I am currently, or who I was in the past. Memories which I always never wish to share.
It still gives me nightmares but I enjoy them. The dreams are usually vivid. It’s similar to travelling back in time. I usually recall everything that happened.
Because I’m an over-thinker. I’ll always think of how or what would have happened if I wasn’t out of danger on time. All those times when death was next to me. Situations that force me to always think of what I should never do or think of.
I’ll create many different scenarios in my head that if I wanted to actually draw them,I would be a great artist.
I’ll usually picture the scenario where I’ll be dead with no one knowing how it actually happened. Unless they do a thorough autopsy on me.
Unless they try not to guess what I have been through or whoever haunts me they would not know the cause.
I have amazing nightmares. They are usually so vivid and lively sometimes. It’s more of living in another world. It’s incredible how I usually wake up so composed like nothing ever happened. It’s simply amazing how I fake everything. I need an Oscar award for that.
With that, I have even been able to create different versions of myself in people’s minds. However, whichever version of me they have in their heads it’s not my concern.
At least to say, I have become a weird creature in most of my so-called colleagues. I haven’t met anyone intriguing as of late. I’m trying to look for someone who can at least match my weird vibe. Someone I cannot easily manipulate. Someone who can give me a reason to tell them everything about me.
I hope I’ll find that person.
My name is Reyna Ginevra, this is my life-my mysterious life
