I have lived a long life and I don’t know how to say this but I’m glad to be dying. After you’ve been through as much as I have…death almost seems like a gift. Finally, I can go in peace. End whatever pain life had in store for me. But then there’s also this part of me that does not want to die. It wants to hold out. Live. I don’t know why. What has life given me? Does life even matter, in the end? Why should I live when I have nothing to live for?
But you have me, a voice whispered from the darkness.
Who are you? I asked it. You-You don’t remember me? It questioned. Of course, I don’t remember. I remember nothing.
No, I told it.
A sigh. Then, I suppose I should have known.
I was confused. Known what? I asked.
That this would happen. After all, the process nearly killed you. I knew I was dying but…what?
What process? I asked. You’ll know when the time is right. The voice replied. But…but who am I? I asked.
A pause. A soft laugh.
You are Katherine. Katherine Rodriguez. A nobody. A normal girl living in a boring little town with your best friend. Your parents left you. They are dead. For now, that’s who you are. But what she said-yes, it was definitely a she-made no sense. Somehow, I knew she was wrong but she sounded so right.
No, I struggled to say. She was so damn convincing I almost-almost-believed her. Suddenly, I realised I was going to wake up soon and I wouldn’t be able to talk to her. That’s why I was struggling. But I needed to know the truth. No, you’re wrong. That’s not who I am. I am…I struggled. My memories felt like mush. Like I was wading through them but I couldn’t bring myself to see them.
The woman laughed. Strop struggling, little one, she chided. It’s time for you to wake up.
But I couldn’t wake up. There was something that had to be done. A game that wasn’t fully played. A dangerous game. A trickster. A liar. A friend. A lover. The last hand to be played. I knew who I was. Who I am. I should remember. But for some reason, I couldn’t. But the answer was right there. So near I could feel it. It was burning. It was so hot, I could feel it searing my skin.
Somebody pushed me and I fell to the ground. “Woah!” I shouted. A body was on top of me. I pushed it away to reveal a girl. She was young. Fifteen? Sixteen? “You were sleepwalking.” She said. What the hell? “What?” I asked. “Into the fire.” She said pointing at the fireplace. I was lying on the ground near it. Right. There was a burning sensation before. But why…? “Who are you?” I asked.
The girl stood up and brushed her dress. She grinned as she offered her hand to me, “I am Emma, your best friend/roommate. Why are you asking me this? You don’t have amnesia do you?” She joked. That’s right, I remembered. Of course, that was right. She was Emma. She had been my best friend ever since I had moved here a couple of years ago. I knew that. I didn’t know what was wrong with me today. I felt weird. But I remembered. I remembered I was Katherine Rodriguez, nothing but a normal girl living in a boring little town with my best friend. That’s all who I was. Right?