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A New Start

By Krisann Holthaus All Rights Reserved ©

Horror / Fantasy


My brother. He has been lying in the same room--the same bed--for almost four hundred years. His name is Jack. He is physically ten years younger than me. I tried to turn him into my kind when he was eighteen--my first turning--but it didn't work. Jack has been in a coma since then. I learned that it's called a vampiric coma. They said that he'll come out of it eventually, but I don't know sometimes. Everyday, I ask myself what I did wrong when I turned him, but I never could spot the answer. I never tried to turn someone ever again.

After a couple minutes of silence, in the room with Jack, I heard someone running down the hallway. I knew who it was though. She's my soulmate and my wife, Melanie. We've been married for 253 years. I never have heard how she was turned or who did it. She wasn't letting me into that memory either. We're both telepaths. Sometimes we hate it, but most of the time, we don't care. She hates it more than me, especially because I could feel more people than her. The only one so far that I haven't gotten through to was Jack. It made me so angry sometimes. I couldn't tell if he was hurting or not, or if he was even there.

"Will!" She was scared; I could sense it in her voice and mind. As soon as I heard the emotion, I went sprinting toward her. I have not heard her be so scared in my existence. Once I saw her at the end of the hall, I looked into her mind to see what she was so horrified about. It was a piece of paper. I relaxed a little bit because no one was following her.

"What is it," I asked out loud, not knowing if she was paying attention to me or not.

"It's about Lynn." Her favorite human, Lynn. Melanie was always worried about her, no matter what. Lynn was attracted to anger and danger every second of her life. Between her family and the students of the school, Melanie never relaxed about Lynn. Lynn took everything without a word. She didn't care, and Melanie knew that.

"What's that?" I asked about the paper now and she knew it. She got the paper out of her bag and shoved it at me.

"It's about Lynn."

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Marijana1: The melancholy present throughout this story has the power to influence and etch into the minds of the readers, to stay there and refuse to leave even after they have finished reading the story. This is a deep, powerful story, making the readers wonder about everything – about love, about their e...

Robert D. Stanley: I really liked this story. The main character was very well fleshed out (so much so that I sometimes felt sorry for her friends with how little trust she had in them) and your descriptive writing was very good. There are, however a few points I'd like to critique.1. The dual PoVs were interesting...

Cliuin: I couldn't stop reading from the moment that I started this book and that was some hours ago...

Dr.Strangelove: not the ending I expected.

lora pless: This book made me feel all kinds of emotions I even cryed in the chapter 25 I feel so sad because of jack death and I feel so frustraited at that final line!!! I can't wait for book two !! don't keep us wait for long .good luck

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Nanasha: I thought I'd written a comment on this story, but for some reason, I guess it didn't go through. Anyway, so this story is intensely addictive. I liked how the author uses established mythology but then gives it a unique twist. The idea of goblins all coming from the head of the king is an ama...

Deleted User: I love your use of writer's craft and how you use figurative language to enhance your writing. It great how you didn't have any spelling or grammar issues.

bloodrosemaiden: I love this book!! I have read it several times and though there could be improvements I applaud the author. I know positive feed back is appreciated!! I enjoy reading about the learning the different character's backstories, and the affects in the overall story!

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