Your Judgement onto Me
Tell me what would you have done? You judge me for my actions, but you have not seen what I have. Pain, hate, suffering; I have seen it and experienced it first-hand and yet you judge me without understanding me. Ignorance is bliss. I have succumb to death and returned from it, don’t you think that is a sign; I am not meant to die, I am meant for more, to do more. A destiny if you will. Ironic enough, I once did not believe in destiny or fate because I refused to have another in control of my life...how ironic my situation is compared to that ideology.
Let me ask you: am I evil? Tell me what do you define as ‘evil’ and as ‘good’? Who decided which acts belong to which side? Victors. For all you know what you believe to be ‘correct’ and ‘good’ is another’s ‘wrong’ and ‘evil’, it all depends on each person’s perception of reality. Just like how one reality can be another’s dream, I was caught in the same loop. Now I have escaped it and wish to free another from the ‘false world’ created by our ancestor’s perception of ‘reality’. Here you are trying to judge me, to stop me.
You deny the world peace, an escape from the nightmare. Here I’m the one called ‘evil’, but who is truly the evil one? Its because people do not try to understand each other, they hide behind the false world and continue this nightmare, this hell, we are forced to exist in. I will free this world, I will break the curse that binds us, that binds me, and we all shall truly be free.
My intentions are no justifications for my actions, I’ve simply accepted the ‘reality’ that to destroy the false world I must destroy the chains that create and hold it. If you do not understand, if you cannot comprehend what I mean then do not--stay out of my way. People have asked me why I chose this path. I wonder why they think I see more than one. This is how things are changed--change is not meant to be pretty and glorious; as T.S Eliot once said: “This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper.” I will be that way. I will do what is necessary, judge me if you will; I do not care. Now let me ask you. Is the pain I cause impure? No. Pain is the emotion that exists in the hearts of everyone because when one experiences love they bear the risk of pain and then hatred. The difference between you and I...my pain is greater than yours.
There are no heroes--they never existed, do not mistaken this as a fairytale that can be wished away. Only those standing in the way of peace remain. I see now what you mean--yes, in your eyes I am evil. I am evil because this world cannot be changed with petty words. After all, I am Fenrir--the world eater.