Hope for the Passing Time
She was as cold as ever, but her reaction to others outside of the battlefield had changed. In the village below the palace none had yet to see her face, but nonetheless recognized her from afar even when wearing a hood from behind. It was how she walked, how she presented herself physically that was unique only to her. Children, though told to keep their distance, came up to her and presented her with flower bracelets and such crafts. On one of her walks with Hei a ball rolled over, knocked out of the hands of a human child.
Many made fun of him for his weakness, Kira picked up the ball and walked over. The immortal children backed away, leaving the sibling on the ground with a dark shadow over him. The boy was crying when looking behind, but it slows when the shadow knelt down and wiped the tears from his face. She lifted him up onto her shoulder and bounced the ball in her hand.
“Three on one seems a bit unfair.” Kira smiled under her mask when looking at the mortal boy.
“Why don’t I play? I’m human ‘and’ vampire therefore its only fair.”
Hei was called out from the side and asked to switch with an immortal boy who then took Kira’s side. Now it was even--each side has immortal and mortals. A simple game of kickball, with the rule of no gifts and no enhanced abilities. Eventually more children from nearby asked to play.
Hei was a bit surprised at her involvement, normally mingling with people was not something she cared for. Since coming back from her ‘hunting trip’ she is a bit kinder to the ‘innocent’--a glimmer of the original self, but then again this was compassion towards a human, particularly this human who came from ‘that side’; odd.
They played until the game was at an even tie; none of the adults remember the last time they enjoyed themselves like this. It has been nothing, but fighting it was almost forgotten that innocent times like these still existence even in this world. This is what Kira wants, a world for these children to grow up without fighting like the adults do. A world with no war. Sunset came, the children departed for their homes; a large portion of them were collected by the staff of the orphanage; Hei and Kira were begged to come with.
“That was rather nice of you.” Hei commented.
“I owe them.”
Hei didn’t miss a beat, “Remorse?” Kira shook her head, “Responsibility.”
“I will not leave the consequences of my actions to fend for themselves--enabling the cycle to begin again.” Hei and Kira continued walking, holding children’s hands when talking.
“They deserve to be given the choice I never had.”
Hei nodded in agreement. They too (Akasha and himself) had a plan--the typical world domination, though unlike what others may believe, the goddess was much kinder in her meaning. She wanted a utopia, a paradise where humans and vampires would live together peacefully. There would be no war, no hatred and sorrow at the belligerence of revenge. Well...to put it to perspective they wanted to create a world were there was nothing, but good things and happiness. Despite the humans creating the illusion that they were going to spend their lives as cattle--fear caused such a rumor. Watching the world develop however, Akasha understood her way of things was out-of-date and decided the answer of another to this same wish would be what she pursued. Kira Nightraven in retrospect actually was the perfect person to choose for this decision. As one who has experienced both sides, she was not biased as others would be.
“I have lived a very long time, but there are some things I still remember from my youth--especially those around when I was with her in the beginning.”
The Goddess and God were the original immortals. As the first of their kind they were different than their off-spring. They could not turn humans, rather humans they bite had the immortal gene passed onto them and when their children were given life they became the first ‘Purebloods’. The first generation of vampires parented by humans, became the first ones to turn a human into a vampire. Nonetheless if there is to be an ‘ultimate’ Pureblood then it would have been Sierra, the first and only child born between the God and Goddess.
That was the story his parents had told him as a young boy, those he feel asleep to; wonderful adventures and prosperity brought by their protectors. It was a simple and happy life...but that happiness faded when ‘anger’ was born.
A disagreement between the Goddess of the Moon and God of the Sun: who would be the ruling species and for what purpose was either meant for? They did not know who came first and thus the first inequality. Naturally the Goddess believed that Imm should rule, that their powers and extended lives meant they must carry responsibility to those below them and protect them--at a cost of course. The God was not in agreement.
Responsibility should be given to those who understand their weakness and bind together to be strong. A single individual holding such power would mean corruption towards others and unhappiness for themselves. They were a prime example: not one held more power than the other and each governed half of time. The God saw the Purebloods as an imbalance to the law of nature--by taking the water of life from another living being to sustain itself. The Goddess saw this as hypocrisy and thus ‘war’ came to the world.
The next thing Hei remembered (not that he could remember his own parent’s faces) was walking in the rubble of his village. Fires burned, bodies smoldered in its heat and shredded by Mor-made weapons. The only one to survive. His mother ceased moving after falling on him, taking a fatal blow to protect her only son. He was barely able to crawl from under her body, a weak frailness to his own that eventually had him land on the ground. Would the pain stop if he died here? Would it all go away and be welcomed into the embrace of Paradise? A beautiful woman was over him--though he never spoke this aloud to any--shedding tears of joy at finding someone alive. The pain stopped, a warm rush came over him filling him with energy. Despite being able to stand on his own the Goddess insisted in carrying him for many years. Though physically he continued to age--his form eventually ceased in his prime when the Goddess bit him. It seemed that by passing blood and the gene a human’s body became frozen as any other turned vampire.
“All that time alone...how were you able to keep going?” Kira asked
“Hope.” He answered simply, “Hope that I would see her again, to be able to fulfill her wish--”
“Then its to repay a debt?” Kira quickly interjected.
Hei glanced at her focused eyes, realizing that she too sought answers, but for what question he wondered.
“I used to think that, that somehow I am sired to her by the blood in my veins. When she asked me if I was happy with this life, it was the first time I heard her ask that in a very long time.” He smiled, “She genuinely cares about us because numerous times I was given the choice to leave, but did not.”
It was hope that kept him alive, kept him going throughout the evolution of the world. Watching them kill one another for land, money, power, he still had ‘hope’ that they could still be more. He thought these times as the world’s childhood and adolescence, rebellious stages where they were bound to make mistakes over and over. But now they, the parents, have come to show them the way again--guiding them as teachers. Perhaps humanity and vampires are doomed to kill and be killed for all time, but if they are not given this chance to know peace ‘and then’ to make their choice then they will never know what they are capable of.
“I stay because my hope is that you and Akasha will make this world again how I saw it as a child.”
Kira continued to have difficulty fathoming the idea of ‘choice’. All she knows is what must be done and without the remaining of a broken past she feels she will not be able to come to her own conclusion. Hearing Hei’s story, despite all he has experienced--a true all-knowing--there is not a hint of erasing his own past. She has seen this world’s evil and seeks to destroy the source of it, but if what Hei says is true, then what she is destroying maybe the memories of the child known as Earth. No. Kira assures herself, not to confuse herself that she is erasing the people who cling to the past, manipulating, from the past, the future they wish to build. Without history they will never know the mistakes they’ve already made.
“Its unusual for you to ask about such things, is something wrong?” He hoped for an answer.
Kira was reluctant to answer, but when walking beside an All-Knowing seeing the same question from another perspective maybe somewhat enlightening.
“Not really, but lately I’ve been thinking if ‘she’ had come back would she also want to help them.”
“Do you think she would end them?” Hei paused at the door when the children went ahead.
“If I knew what she was feeling when she decided to spare them I could tell you.”
Hei continued, “And you’re worried that she may change your mind and not act in the best interests of them and the world.”
The old man looked out to the setting sun, its oranges, reds, and pinks coloring in the sea’s breaking waters.
“I wouldn’t kill them, I want them to have a choice.”
Hei pats a child’s head, “What happens if she didn’t?”
Kira relaxed knowing this was all in theory, “I would ask you to kill me.”
Hei patted Kira’s shoulder when entering the orphanage, “Then I’m glad that it will never come to that.”
Chapter 13--Reject the Rest
Adam held Tris against the wall. Upon his entrance she knew the danger and quickly tried to take off, her co-workers meant to cover her, however the Frenchmen was too quick. As he suspended her in air her comrades held weapons to him, waiting to end him at her command. Tris knew why he had come, it was only a matter of time after all when her loyalty was discovered.
“YOU!” Adam shouted, “THIS WAS YOUR DOING!”
The remaining vampires hesitated. Adam has always had his head on straight, though he is weird with his poems and songs, he typically has a plan. Tris motioned for everyone to back off and looked Adam straight in the eye when speaking.
“What did you expect me to do--”
“Don’t give me that bullshit! You knew exactly what you were doing and you chose to betray us, to betray Addy and Kira!”
Adam threw Tris into the wall across the bar. Again her coworkers came between, but Tris told them to back off--she deserved this. It didn’t matter how he found out, only that he did and now she would pay for her sins.
“He saved my life! When anyone else would have killed me; he protected me and gave me a chance to live--He ‘owns’ me!”
Adam snarled, grinding his teeth enough to show his fangs. For her own self-interest. Betrayal is betrayal if not for the sake of another--indulging the whims of another for one’s self-preservation and with no thought to the friends left to bare the weight of their action. Adam has his view of her and she has hers--what she did was loyalty to her King not to a crazed ex-lover of a dead friend. If Emily had been alive then ‘maybe’ she would have done different, but she isn’t, and its not like Kira deserved any loyalty; not then, not now.
The Frenchmen is a hypocrite! He himself was a double-agent for years--offering himself to the highest bidder and turning his head when innocent people were suffering by the thousands! People like that are no good to anyone and should just die! Tris does not regret anything, she did what she thought was right and no one else can say otherwise. Kira is a murderous, lying, traitor who deserves what she got and more.
“Kira was our friend! She saved us--”
“FRIEND?!” Tris laughed, “She didn’t ‘save’ us! She let us live because we were useful to her! When I found out she was going to do of course I would warn the king!”
They clashed, their fight brought outside where the bar would no longer be caught in the crossfire. Tris betrayed them, she tipped off the king and ultimately caused Kira to be killed by Sammy! If that hadn’t happened there was no way she would have joined the Goddess and set out to kill everyone. That wasn’t Kira, she couldn’t have been that way--not after what she said to him at that moment.
(...if ‘I’ no longer exist...please...as my friend...kill me...)
“I’m done talking.” Adam saw her heart, when she spoke: a monstrous horse twisted and corrupted on many parts of its body--the affect of being a Ghoul.
Tris gave a frustrated huff, “She’s alive, so what’s it matter anymore?”
Adam clenched his fists--she was right. It didn’t matter anymore, she is alive, but still this rage fills him at what should have been. Eona and Sammy are missing, Alucard is no one to trust; Jake has left them in fear that Kira’s fragment may still exist, endangering everyone. Its too much. This was him taking his anger out on anyone responsible for what ‘may have’ been. What is worse is that she too is a victim--Alucard put her in a corner and being that he did save her probably had her sired to him. Either way she believes with all of her being that what she did was right and nothing he says could change that--its not like she’s wrong.
“She’s not the only one whose lost people, what right has she to use that as an excuse to do the same to others?”
Tris never liked Kira. The only reason she tolerated her was because of Emily, and yes when Emily died she did feel bad for her. Kira had never lost anyone that close before, but the ‘only’ reason Tris even thought to help her, even before the king’s orders was to keep a promise. That promise was kept--not that it mattered in the end. She’s no doubt rolling over in her grave by now.
“I will say though, for a brat who could hardly defend herself...she’s defiantly one to keep her word.”
“Really?” A giggle from the ally, “How sweet.”
From the shadows they came, wearing matching overcoats her and Hei were distinguished by their iconic masks. The two fighting froze, too much in shock to do anything else against this sudden appearance. After moments to collect themselves, then they moved into defensive positions.
Kira huffed sarcastically when gesturing a wave, “Please, if I wanted to kill you do you think I’d go thru the trouble of talking to you?”
Adam and Tris looked at each other in agreement--probably not.
“Despite everything else, neither of you pose a current threat to me--I suggest keeping it that way, I’m in no mood to fight today.” The last part she mumbled under her breath.
Adam questioned this cease-fire, knowing who he is affiliated with, it doesn’t seem right she would brush either of them off so easily. The reason being is that he has no idea where either the spawn nor the huntress is so it would be pointless to fight over nothing. In Tris’s case Kira bares no grudge and she hasn’t openly confronted her during ‘this’ war--anything in the past is irrelevant. Nonetheless both are weary of her appearance here. Kira shuffled thru her coat then withdrew three letters--though being a deliver-boy is as ridiculous as this ball, she does what is told.
No alliances, no ranks, nothing to divide us for a single night where all are invited. Any attempt to disrupt this peace will be dealt with accordingly with the simple removal of the individuals from the island. Even she must abide by these rules--no matter who it is...Kira cannot fight anyone. A true test of restraint and resolve should certain individuals decide to attend.
One for Tris and her Sect, Adam, and Eona--who Adam will likely see and find before anyone else. If the huntress wishes to come then so be it, but Kira will not be the one to babysit her and ‘will’ act towards any threat to Akasha.
Kira handed the letters over, “How is the ice-user? I trust he has recovered from our encounter?”
Adam nodded explaining now because of her, he will not travel with them anymore.
“Not that I would condone anyone fighting with the Republic, but if you’re that worried then it would be a relief to know that I removed the fragment.”
Adam hesitated when taking his two letters.
“I’m a lot of things: a murderer...lier...traitor, but I am not inhumane. I won’t torture someone needlessly.”
Kira waved farewell when turning her back to return to Hei. They ought to watch their volume, they never know who is nearby.
“Hey!” Tris called out angrily, “Clear out your shit from the apartment while you’re here!”
Kira halted, (Apartment?) Hei leaned closer saying he remembered where it was. Adam saw Kira’s eyes, the lack of acknowledgement to what Tris said and the confusion. He listened to the lasts of their conversation until they were out of range.
“Why does she need to clear out an apartment?” Adam asked watching Tris walk back into the bar.
“You forget...before everything this was their home.”
Hei and Kira took their time walking, having not been to the United Kingdom for a time this acted like a break while delivering letters. None of this looked familiar, when asked Hei explained this was her home at one point, but its no surprise it was one of the memories lost. They walked past office buildings, an ally behind a Japanese bath house, thru the back streets until reaching the third floor of an apartment complex. The door was unlocked...the knob broken by an outside force pointed in. The front of the living room was trashed--a struggle resulting in many things being knocked down and broken.
Hei brushed his fingers on the counter--no one has been here for a very long time. On her own Kira began pushing round the broken glass with her foot until it knocked into something under the couch. She bent down and reached--cutting her finger and feeling no pain--taking a broken picture frame turned facing down. The immortal human himself looked around, rummaging thru the debris--Catherine and her men certainly did a number when subduing Kira. He happen to glance over her shoulder when seeing the picture in her hands. Both of them were smiling.
“Who is this?” Kira held up the picture of a woman, leaning over the counter in a white lab coat.
“Doctor Emily Addy.” He answered in a solum choke.
“What kind of person was she?”
Hei walked around some more when answering.
“Rash; a risk-taker fascinated with how things ticked, living or otherwise. She often acted on her emotions and was beside herself with her accomplishments.”
She was a romantic; expressive with her feelings, and forced people to reeal their own. A fighter with words who sought change without force. With the genuine belief that peace would come when one person became the bridge between the two people she initially intended for Kira to take that role. Of course those things known as feelings became involved and Emily herself changed--irony of the end result.
He found what he desired and presented it to Kira. She took the picture, burning every detail in her mind in fear of losing this memory too. Her and Emily were standing together, the doctor leaning over when affectionately trying to steal a kiss. Kira, having black hair she could not recall, was trying to escape playfully, embarrassed at Emily’s seductive advances. One...then two...three...they would have hit the glass of the frame...if only she could cry. What was this feeling then? Seeing these silent images:
‘The rain caught them off guard. Quickly they ran to find cover, realizing their efforts were useless seeing as they were soaked. Her and Emily laughed, the elder swiping the raven hair behind the younger’s ear while wearing a smile from ear to ear.’
What was she to Kira? If this woman was a huge part of ‘her’ life why is she remember these things? Is it because ‘she’ cannot and now the Reaper is to take on that loss? The harder she tried, the more the sharp pain pierced her head. Perhaps this was a way...to understand the person who made that wish.
‘Emily’s smile, her soundless laughter. Rain, sun, night, snow; these fragments Kira found herself desperate to grasp. A life she that doesn’t exist in her mind, bonds cut from her heart and yet engraved in a soul. Remember--’
Hei touched her shoulder, bringing her back to reality. A blue envelope caught her eye, neatly placed on the table next to more photos, even an inattentive person would notice it. Unsealed, it looked as if it had been there post to the damage to the front of the apartment. On its back, her name was written in cursive and somehow she knew the hand-writing to be Emily’s in the account of how small. Hei wondered more, not wanting to involve himself in something that was not his business. (I wonder if that’s what she meant.)
Gently Kira open the enveloped and unfolded the pages.
By now you’re probably wondering where I am and what happened. I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you everything now because when you wake up I won’t be beside you anymore. I’m sorry for this, for all of it, even after begging you to let me be by your side its almost poetic that I’m the one that left. I’m sorry. I wish I had more time, no, I wish I had the courage to tell you when I was with you, but its too late.
There is nothing I can do to change what has already happened and the choice I made for you, to keep you alive...please believe me when I say it was only because I loved you. Now I see it was cruel of me; I didn’t want to live in a world without you and even though I was already going to die I didn’t think about how you would feel in a world without me. There is no way I can make things as they were, but I want to make things right--Eona didn’t banish you because she hated you, it was the only way we thought could protect you from the king and Catherine...and Eona herself. She still loves you Kira and I know there is one part of your heart that still loves her. Please, I know it might be hard and painful, but try to forgive her, you don’t have to forgive me, but I don’t want you to live a life of regret as I did.
There are things I never told you about myself, what I did before I went to the Nation and how I knew to use the stigma on you. I lied when I said it was meant to stop you from turning--nothing can do that--the stigma I used was to safely turn you into an artificial Pureblood. You were a part of an experiment started by Catherine and I while I was with ‘Syndicate’, there was more than that though--aside from working with Catherine I worked under the Pureblood King as ‘Fenrir’. The Fenrir are the king’s guard; assassins; spies that no one other than he knows exist, we do not even know who the other members are or for that matter how many. He wanted me to watch you and Catherine reporting how the experiment was going--we did not anticipate you being taken by Eona and so I was sent as a doctor to further watch your progress. Eventually when Eona bit you, I used the chance to take her venom as a bases, further modifying the stigma so that the more power you received from her the faster your DNA changed. The side effect was that the two of you could feel the other’s emotions.
My intent was not to use you as a guinea pig like Catherine, or make you a monster as the king; I genuinely wanted to make a person who could act as the bridge between vampires and human. To me...you just happened to be picked for it and I didn’t see you as an individual, but as an object meant to save us from ourselves. I never thought I would be the one needing saving--I hated you, you know. I hated how you took everything and never acted on what you wanted, doing anything for everyone else’s interests no matter how much it hurt you. I hated Eona for that too, I didn’t think she deserved you because she could betray you and try to kill you and the next day you would still be back in her room serving tea with a smile.
At first I didn’t understand why I was so frustrated over you, then the time you came into my office and talked about Eona I almost lost it. Your face was adorable, cherry red, and yet you didn’t fight back even when I acted like your precious master. You left and I realized what happened--I wanted to make you mine: spoil you; cuddle you; ravage you. I guess it was a lot more effective than I thought. Before long I fell in love with you, my experiment, and regretted everything I had done--I stopped reporting to ‘Syndicate’ and cut off any ties to Catherine.
I was scared of what you would say if you knew. I didn’t want to tell you and I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else so I hid it. Everything would be alright I thought, but I was wrong; you, still loyal to Eona, put yourself against a god and died. It should not have been possible, the stigma was meant to change you progressively, but you became a Ghoul and I thought it was the end. I didn’t want to give up on you and tried to strengthen the stigma and once again modified it to reject the genes rather than expand them--you probably didn’t notice, but every time I modified your stigma the center hand moved to another arrow, like a clock. That probably means that it can only be modified one more time before it won’t work anymore.
Eona and I made a deal--apparently she already knew about Catherine, but not the king--if I could take you somewhere safe and away from our world then she would entrust you to me. I didn’t think she loved you more than me, but while I sought redemption from you, she willing gave you up to protect you; perhaps for her own guilt of trying to kill you herself. Even now she still loves you, despite not knowing where you are and understanding that you may hate her, I know she will always love you.
There are so many things I wanted to share with you, I wanted to do with you, but my time is up. When Catherine dropped the beams on us, I was able to shield you from the initial damage, but she had an AVW and when it went thru me it hit you--I don’t know if she meant that or not. I was able to escape though, carrying you to the hospital I found the damage was worse to you than me and without an organ transplant you would die. I made a choice for you, I’ve given you my organs and all I could do was pray for my selfish wish that you will be okay. I’m sorry I took your choice away and I don’t know if this will work, but I want you to live a life you deserve. It might be scary, you may hate me for what I’ve done and I accept that.
Go home, back to your real home, beside Eona. I should have never taken you from it, but I least the time I spent was you was worth all these years I’ve lived. I am truly happy to have met you and to have been loved by you.
Catherine will probably come after you when she find out you’re alive, I won’t tell you how to live your life, but I hope that my death will not cause you to go down a path of suffering.
The Pureblood King is a man named Alucard, he is Catherine’s husband and someone you should not underestimate. I don’t what he’s planning, but I often found him researching dead languages and text--I don’t know how old he is, but based on his knowledge I’ve reached the conclusion that somehow he is directly involved with a kingdom known as the ‘First Reign’--Eona is a descendent of that family of Purebloods who united our people almost ten thousand years ago. He’s hiding something, whatever you do, don’t trust anything he says and if the chance ever arises kill him. He wants Eona. I’m sorry I don’t have much to offer, but I hope its enough for you to make a choice you want.
My time’s up. If I had one more wish it would to be able to see your smiling face one more time. I’m giving this letter to Tris, we’ve been friends for a long time and I hope she can help you in my place until you make your decision.
I will always love you,
The letter was held between her fingertips, as her eyes softened. She was calm, relaxed and in a state of tranquility. This woman--Kira folded the letter neatly when placing it on the table. Its better this way, if she had her memories and read this letter--not knowing...is better...without emotions she will not have her judgement clouded. (She doesn’t exist...) Kira clenched her fists, (If she had gotten this letter before...I wonder what she would have done.) Releasing her grip she ignored Hei when finding a broom and sweeping the shattered glass. No point in leaving the apartment in this state further--for the memory of a person who possesses no bond with the Reaper.
Hei followed her lead, grabbing the larger furnitures and moving them to a single corner near the door. This continued, non-stop, until the entire apartment was spotless. Photos were placed in their appropriate places, but Hei found one from the frame broken earlier had gone missing. He didn’t question it, nor that the letter had also gone missing from the table, but wondered if its disappearance was in possession or in the trash.
They left. The apartment closed behind them, leaving behind the non-existent past that threatens the future of the world. The past will corrupt and twist this ‘correct’ path she walks an no matter what she will not be shaken. They walked past a graveyard--Kira suddenly froze in place, her feet heavy, pulled by invisible chains inside. Its here. Emily Addy’s empty grave. What reason would there be to have a grave if there was no body? What was that woman thinking by having one created? Pointless; annoying; unnecessary; why is she still here?
Hei came around a tomb, finding his place and the moment he could place the snatched flowers at the headstone.
“You don’t have to know everything, you don’t have to understand it either, but you have to get that no matter how hard you try a piece of her will always exist inside you.”
Kira glared at the stone, feeling controlled by resurrecting memories that mean to stray her.
“That is where you’re wrong--its not that I don’t remember, its that I don’t know because I am not her.”