Every breath I take is like a dagger cutting holes in my lungs. It’s true about what they say, that dying sometimes it’s easier than living. I’m sitting in my room , alone , in the dark , thinking. Just thinking.
But I always end up thinking on how my previous reincarnation lived without Emrick. I’m not sure if all this is real or not but , I’m dying knowing that I can’t see him , that I can’t touch him or hear his beautiful voice. I can’t even imagine what losing him for real would do. My father didn’t let me kill myself in that dream. And the worst torture is living a life without Emrick , especially when I have a really long life to live. That’s what’s curious about this story , that I die in the end , obviously or else I wouldn’t be reincarnated , and how are my parent’s always there and they don’t change with every reincarnation?
The story said that , until they learned their lesson , this would go on and on.
That makes me shiver. How long has this been going on ?
Who could she ask about a situation like this ?
Mt Aloy , seemed to be willing to talk to her but my father won’t let me out of his sight.
Suddenly I remembered , there is someone who I’m sure would tell me.
I got up from bed and went running to the library.
It was Sunday afternoon and people usually are outside or sleeping.
Entering the library unnoticed is a piece of cake at this point.
When I was in , I searched for a section who my father never let me read.
A section full of only the same edition of one particular book.
One time I opened it and I recognized the handwriting anywhere.
No one was in the library so I took my own time.
I gasped at the amount of books there was.
I took the last one of the last shelf , opening to the first page.
1997 - 42n’d Reincarnation.
-- Today I gave birth to my little baby girl for the 42nd time.
It’s funny , I never get used to seeing her beautiful face which smiles at every possible second. People ask me , if I will ever get tired of giving birth over and over again. I always say No , I don’t. She’s my baby girl and she will always be. I can still remember the first time I gave birth to her , in 1597. Me and my husband just got married and soon after I felt the first kick in my tummy.She was always a free spirit and I always told her to run wherever the moon guided her ,but who would have thought that it would become reality. She fell in love.
And she was so happy , that I always admired her affection to this boy. Me and my husband never got that …. I can’t really remember what she used to call it.Oh we never had that spark! I love my husband without words but the love my daughter feels for this boy is beyond imagination. Beyond mortality for that matter , to invoke the gods , in a simple human love was a huge thing. But …. My husband was opposed to this. He is a brilliant man and a good businessman but when it comes to his daughter , he well , is a little bit obsessive. Which is good in normal cases but unfortunately for us , we never thought that such feelings would doom two families for eternity.
And it has been going on for 420 years. It’s been so long and I’m tired of this situation. But I want my daughter to be happy , to find him again and fall in love with him again. I don’t know if this is the right thing but I know that my daughter’s love will never waver no matter how many times she is reincarnated.
Oh ,she’s calling for me. I better go. I’m meeting my daughter for the 42nd time.
Let’s hope this time is different.
I could feel my eyes burn. It’s all real. Everything is real. I’m reincarnated.
The room was spinning around me. I couldn’t breath.
“ Calm Down Sierra.”
What ? How ? I thought -
“ I really can’t live for long without you and tomorrow is the big day I had to at least hear your voice.”
My eyes stung. Emrick , everything is real.
“ Yeah , I heard everything.”
I sat on the sofa. What are we going to do?
“ I don’t know. All I know that in those diaries are all our previous lives. Do you think you have time to look over them all ?”
I’m not sure. But I can try.
“ That’s my girl. I found something as well.”
I turned to the window , knowing well enough he was near but not near enough for me to see him.
“ Ancient spells.”
I heard a chuckle. “ Maybe something in this book is worth the read.”
I sighed. There’s nothing for us to lose.
There was a moment of silence.
“ No matter what happens, I’m glad that we lived over 420 years together.”
I chuckled and smiled. I guess our love is real huh?
He chuckled. “ You noticed that now? You have proof of how much our love is real in your hands. It’s real.”
My eyes started to water. Emrick do you think , we can get through this?
I don’t remember my past lives but I remember how much seeing you die hurts and I won’t be able to live without you.
“ Sierra don’t think about it for now. Okay? Try to go through those diaries maybe we will find a solution. A solution in which involves me and you going to Italy.”
I chuckled. I think now I know why I was so obsessed with Italy.
“ And why is that?”
Because we fell in love for the first time in Italy.
“ That explains everything.”
I smiled and touched the diary to my chest.
I will save you Emrick.
“ And I will live for you.”