Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Artemis_Aquarius would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Happily Ever After

By Artemis_Aquarius All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Fantasy

Happily Ever After

Kurstair raked through the entrails spilled across the flagstones before him. He chose one juicy, dripping piece of intestine and shoved it in his mouth. Chewing and humming he walked through the remains of the Guard, their bloody bits and pieces squeezing up between his bare, hairy toes. He wiped a furry hand across his lips, spreading red spittle across his grossly misshapen face.

When he reached the heavy oak door banded with steel, he burped, sending a choking wave of putrid air into the room - if anyone had been alive to choke.

A stalwart iron lock sat in the middle of the door and Kurstair vaguely wondered  if behind him, among the ruins of men, lurked a key.

He shrugged and lent his solid, muscled, green bulk against the door but his soiled feet slipped and the door stood firm. He cast around for something to wipe his feet but failed to find a single swath of fabric not soaked in blood or gore. He frowned and the horns on his brow ground together.

This quest was taking much longer than he’d planned and he was tired of the cold castle with its unending halls, legions of guards and their annoying continuous attacks. Irritated, he plucked an arrow out of his thigh and crushed it.

With one great mighty roar, rebounding like thunder along the hall, Kurstair slammed his rock-like fist against the door. The great oak beams split and the steel bands bent and the iron lock broke. He thumped it again and the on hundred year old door buckled and splintered with a loud crack. Half of it burst into the room and scattered on the flagstones, the other half swung open on whining  hinges. Kurstair stomped through the doorway and entered the sparsely furnished bedroom. A barefoot young woman stood at the window. Sunlight illuminated her figure and golden hair, she shone like a fallen angel. Her hands rested on her hips and she wore a gossamer fine dress that had seen better days. A slight frown marred her perfect, pale, face.

“Well, what took you so long?” she cried, “I’ve been here for days!  I had to fight off dozens of damn guards and as for the Prince! Look, I broke a nail!” She waved a delicate hand at him.

“Sorry darling, I did my best.” the Monster spoke, “First there was the moat - not like they were going to put down the drawbridge for me and they have biting fish in there! Then I had to climb the walls, all the while damned archers were pelting me with arrows, and you know how I hate heights. And they had boiling oil on the accursed ramparts. BOILING OIL! Look at my skin. Who uses boiling oil anymore...”

“My mother warned me.” the princess muttered, “’Marry a Prince’, she said. ‘Don’t go for the bad boys, they’ll just break your heart.’ She was right, she was so right.”

“Oh yeah, I’d like to see some fancy-pants Prince come and rescue you from a fortified castle like I just did!” Her husband yelled.

“I’d be LIVING in the damned castle if I’d married a prince, you dumb-horny-head.”

“Fine. Right. Next time you can rescue yourself.” Kurstair turned and left the room. “And you can explain to the kids why Mummy is not living in the swamp anymore, when I send them to visit - to your castle,” he said sarcastically.

“Oh don’t talk to me about the kids!” she yelled, following him out. “That Burgnord takes after you, refusing to wash in anything other than peat mud and you well know that smell is impossible to get out of clothes. Which doesn't really matter because now refuses to wear any. Something to do with his 'Monster' heritage.  And Esterbelle, well she told me just before I got kidnapped she was dating a Giant. A GIANT!”

“What’s wrong with Giants?” the Monster said, “You know very well my mother is a Giant.”

“Your mother! Your mother! Do not get me started on your mother. The last time she visited all she did was complain, ‘the stew doesn’t have enough toes in it’, ‘the chairs aren’t big enough’, like somehow I’m not good enough for YOU! I’M A PRINCESS!”

“You’re a princess all right,” Kurstair said under his breath, “MY mother warned me about them too. ‘You’ll be forever rescuing her’, she said.”

“And I am NOT walking through that!” the Princess said when she saw the carpet of bodies.

The Monster threw his wife across his shoulders and their arguing could be heard echoing throughout the castle as they made their way out - if anyone was left alive to hear.
Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Artemis_Aquarius
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

mitchreed519: Truly fantastic, I would buy this book and any other prequels or sequels there after. An empowering and intriguing novel, and well written. Best literature I've read in a while, beats out published books as well.

Marijana1: The melancholy present throughout this story has the power to influence and etch into the minds of the readers, to stay there and refuse to leave even after they have finished reading the story. This is a deep, powerful story, making the readers wonder about everything – about love, about their e...

Stephen Warner: To start off, I am thoroughly impressed. The writing style is somewhat unique, and the plot seemed to move at a nice and steady pace. However, I was not expecting this to be a vampire book! I am usually not one for novels about vampires, but I was pleasantly surprised! You wrote with such grace a...

ernbelle: When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

spec4huff: Thank you for creating this world. I am a 6'3" veteran that thinks himself tough. But the piece of literature you have created made me misty eyed on a number of occasions. I want a love like this. Thank you again, I would totally buy this book and hopefully the sequels to this ever enchanting lov...

catd69: Karim is a very talented writer. When I started reading his journey it took me into the book and I was in the story till the end. I've never felt this way with any other writers stories. If you want to read a gripping adventure, this will be the one book I would suggest you pick.

bethnaloza: It's really long so that's a good thing!!It's really funny I started to crack up hard just by reading it!!It's romantic but doesn't have that mushy love stuff so that's good too!!It's a little sad and depressing but it's what makes this book awesome!!I love this book!!It's really good. And I prom...

mullikin902: Do not start reading this book unless you have enough time to finish it in one sitting, because you will not be able to put it down! Superlative! Addictive! Deliciously wicked characters you can't get enough of. Impatiently waiting for the sequel!

More Recommendations

Krupa Kataria: the detailing is really awesome ....the characters, ur plots jst too Awsm ,m waiting for the further chapters please do complete it ...like m really craving for those ones ...great job with words too ..please complete the further parts ...

ynez2005: I LOVE THIS BOOK SOOOOO MUCH!!!!Though you really need to make another book,more Princesses!!! Whoooo!!!Girl Power!!!Mabey it could even be Devona's BFF???That would make it even better!!!Plus can you pleeease make Akki come back,together with Thea and Authur amd the whole family is back!Other th...

Felisa Yoder Osburn: I really enjoyed the story. Civil War stories are some of my favorites and the intertwining of the past with current times was wonderful. I look forward to reading the next stories.

Mourn8220House: When first reading "Avarice," I thought it would be another fairytale but I was taken back the author's approach and choice of ending. There is little to be said for the story and overall plot besides the sudden twists and speculation, other than that I do not want to ruin a fantastic tale, you m...