She Who is About To..

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Summary

Two High School girls are feuding over a boyfriend, when a certain Vengeance Demon helps them deal with their anger. A comedy with euphemisms.

Genre:
Fantasy / Humor
Author:
MrBillyD
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
13+

She Who is About To...

Early on Saturday Afternoon, 16 year old Laura Morton sat in a booth inside the Zabelton Diner. She sat across the table from Karolina, who had light brown hair and looked like she was Laura's age.

The black haired Laura was fuming.

"Best friend?" She said, "Hah! I go off to Paris for a few weeks this Summer thinking everything is cool back home. Yeah--right. My best friend Francine Evans, and my boyfriend Kevin Landis, F--wording each other! Behind my back!"

Karolina asked, "Well where else do you expect them to f--word each other? While you were standing there watching?"

"I wouldn't be at all surprised if they did. Francine's known for being a bleep."

At that moment the blonde haired Francine walked up and stood beside the booth.

She said, "And you're being a real b--word Laura!"

"And here she is the piece of s--word herself. Francine Evans."

Now the other girl in the booth smiled. "Hi Francine. I'm Karolina."

Laura explained. "Karolina's a new student, at Zabelton High. Her family's just moved here from Sangreville."

"Sangreville?" Francine said, "You mean 'Vampire Town'?"

"Francine's also an expletive head. Nobody here with any sense, really believes those stories about vampires."

"Oh I do," Karolina told them, "and I come from there. Everything you've heard about Sangreville; the vampires, werewolves, zombies, ghoulies, ghosties and bloodthirsty beasties, and all kinds of demons who go bump in the night, is true; and believe me, being included on the menu of the undead, really helps put everything in its proper perspective. Like this little tiff you're both having."

"This isn't a little tiff!" Laura told her, "It's major!"

Francine said, "Laura's a Meow! Meow! Meow! Meowing expletive b--word!"

Laura answered, "Expletive b--word and meow yourself Francine!"

Now Karolina asked, "So what do the two of you want to do about it? Do you wish you could kill each other?"

Laura told her, "I'd love to. If I could get away with it, people would be cheering."

Francine answered, "And I'd love to myself, if I could get away with it too."

The new girl smiled. "That's all I needed to hear. So you have wished it; so shall it be done."

Laura and Francine both looked puzzled by Karolina's words.

In a moment, they were no longer inside the Zabelton Diner, or anywhere in Zabelton, or anywhere in the same Era of History. Laura and Francine found themselves standing in the center of an Ancient Roman Arena.

The two Zabelton High School Girls stood alone facing each other, in the middle of the Arena. They were scantily clad in Women Gladiator garments, armed with swords and shields. A cheering Roman Mob of thousands was packed into the stands surrounding them.

Up in the stands Karolina was seated, dressed in Roman garments, watching the girls with blood lust, as was everyone around her.

The girl from Sangreville shouted, "Come on! You who are about to die! Let this Game begin already!"

Down in the Arena, Laura and Francine began fighting, going at each other hard, without holding back.

The Mob cheered wildly.

Karolina called out, "Ten to one on the Brunet!"

As the girls fought, Laura managed to get her sword around Francine's shield, and stabbed her deep, through the ribs.

Francine cried out. "Expletive in Latin!"

She collapsed to the ground, while the mob cheered their loudest.

Francine lay on her back helpless. Laura stood above her, holding her sword with both hands, pointing it downward, straight at Francine's heart.

Francine raised her hand.

Laura halted, and looked up into the stands, at the Imperial Box Seats, where Caesar was seated with his Court.

An Aide whispered into Caesar's ear.

Caesar was outraged. "Stole her boyfriend? For that she deserves to die!"

Caesar signaled thumbs down.

In the stands around him, the entire Mob, including Karolina, also signaled thumbs down.

Out in the Arena, Laura thrust her sword downward, stabbing Francine straight through the heart, and left the sword where it was.

Francine screamed loudly, and died.

The Mob cheered wildly, tossing flowers, money, etc., as Laura stood proudly beside Francine, who lay dead, with the sword sticking out of her. The Roman Trumpets played the theme from the movie "Rocky".

Up in the stands, people who'd taken her wager were handing Karolina money.

She said, "Told you the Brunet didn't I?"

Now Laura saw Kevin standing along the side of the Arena. They rushed toward one another, and into each other's arms.

Now the Roman Choir added their voices to the tune, singing “Getting Strong Now!”

Laura and Kevin kissed passionately, holding each other tight. Caesar, his Court and the entire Mob, including Karolina cheered, while Francine lay dead and ignored, with the sword sticking out of her.

Then Laura, Francine and Karolina were back inside the Zabelton Diner, exactly the way they'd been, before everything changed.

Laura said, "What the h--e--double toothpicks was that?"

Karolina told them, "Remember what I said, about there being demons in Sangreville? Well I am one of them, and I just went bump in the daytime. I haven't fully introduced myself. I am Karolinanka, the Wish Granting Vengeance Demon; and I have just granted both of your wishes."

"Oh I see." Francine quoted, "'Be careful what you wish for'?"

"Exactly." said Karolina. "Now that the two of you've got all that anger out of your systems, don't you both feel so much better?"

Laura said, "Oh I sure do. One hundred percent better. The rage is ended."

Karolina asked, "Now do you two want to go back to being friends again?"

"Oh sure." Laura said, "What do you say Francine? I'm tired of us not talking to each other."

She reached her hand out to Francine, who repeated,

"'What do I say'? I say I want a rematch!"

Karolina laughed. "Ah-ha! This is great! I was really raking in those sisterces. So you have wished it, so shall it be done."

In a moment, they were again in the Roman Arena. Laura and Francine were fighting with swords and shields, before the wildly cheering Mob.

In the stands, Karolina called out, "Ten to one on the blonde!"

Francine stabbed Laura through the ribs.

Laura cried out and collapsed. Then she lay on her back helpless. Francine stood above her, holding her sword with both hands, pointing it downward, straight at Laura's heart.

Laura raised her hand.

Francine halted, and looked up into the stands, at the Imperial Box Seats, where Caesar was seated with his Court.

Caesar said, "Is it not enough, that she stole the boyfriend, of this virtuous young woman, who gets such outstanding grades? Must she kill her too? No! That would be injustice!"

Caesar signaled thumbs up.

The Mob nodded in agreement, signaled thumbs up and applauded.

Karolina sat collecting her winnings, from everyone who'd accepted her wager.

"Oh come to Mama," she said "you beautiful sisterces. I wonder what the exchange rate for sisterces is, in Zabelton?

Down in the Arena, Francine lowered her sword.

She now saw Kevin standing to the side of the Arena. He rushed toward her. She tossed her sword and shield aside, and waited for him with her arms wide open.

Kevin rushed past Francine, knelt down, and picked up the wounded Laura in his arms.

He said, "She may be dying. I haven't much time to bring her to the Infirmary."

Francine said, "What!"

Kevin hurried away with Laura in his arms, heading toward the Arena's Infirmary.

Francine stamped her foot in outrage. "Oh Latin for F--word!"


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