Chapter 28: Inner battle, lost?
The car ride home was silent although you could have cut the tension with a knife. Alexis didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how to say it. He had watched her kissing Nicolas. It was the first time, sure and even if that had been a shock to her, she didn’t think it would have made any difference to Caleb.
She had kissed a werewolf. His mortal enemy.
The thoughts going through her head were torturing her and she was curious about his thoughts. He was in turmoil, he couldn’t sit still but yet he didn’t want to move, his hands felt like they wanted to break something, his teeth felt like they wanted to burst out his mouth and his eyes were trying hard to focus on anything but Alexis heartbeat. She was his. She felt like his. It was hard to explain why and he was sure if he had tried to explain it to her she would have laughed or have been insulted. He couldn’t explain it to her.
To him, she was his fully, all of her and what she had done had angered him. Not only because it was a werewolf but because she had kissed someone else. It didn’t matter what creature it was. He had trusted her; he had put himself out there. All he could hear was Daniel’s words in his head ’never trust anyone, especially someone you are attracted to’.
If Daniel knew any of this, he would have a field day. He would no doubt make Caleb drain Alexis just for the fun of it. Daniel had made a big effort to keep Caleb out of Love and concentrated on the Lust side of things and now on his first job alone he had done exactly what he had been trained not to do. He was stupid. Alexis couldn’t even begin to understand what he was going through. That stupid werewolf should never have been near her outside that building, she should have stayed away from him like she had promised herself she would. She didn’t want to start a fight and she wanted to confide in Caleb. But how did she tell Caleb that.
He seemed so upset and angry about it. Her head reeled with the possibilities of what had just happened. Her lips still tasted of him – she was lucky that Caleb couldn’t read her mind. They were flying along the streets at a speed Alexis was sure was illegal. She didn’t want to point that out though, she couldn’t even find the light hearted tone she would usually use with Caleb. He was far too angry for that. His impossibly tight grip on the steering wheel only proved that.
The moving houses and shops outside couldn’t even distract her from what was happening in the car – they were all a blur. What could she say to break this tension? Was he not going to say anything? She had a bond with Caleb – they both knew that but it had hardly been spoken about, mostly avoided. They had never even shared a kiss– there was no wonder he was angry.
He had started to trust Alexis and now it looked like she was throwing it back in his face. How could she explain what had happened? She had never even told them there were werewolves in the school. That was already a distrustful thing.
Not to mention the kiss….The car was forced to a stop and Alexis was glad she had strapped in, her chest was thrown forward and then pulled back by the seat belt as they stopped in front of the house they both resided in.
Alexis sat still not wanting to make the first move afraid of how he might react. But Caleb had a completely different idea. He was already taking his seat belt off and getting himself out of the car. Alexis did the only thing she could think of. She followed him. She followed him out of the car and into the house.
She let the door shut behind her scared that he would disappear if she took her eyes off of him for a moment. She didn’t want to be the first to talk but she wasn’t sure if he was going to say anything to her…What if he never spoke to her again? How could she deal with that? She needed to speak to him, she needed him. Her mouth opened to speak, but was quickly closed when he spoke first. “How can you even…” Caleb threw his hands up in frustration; he couldn’t find the words to say. He didn’t know how to say it.
Of course she was attracted to her own kind. She was a werewolf, no matter how many times she suppressed her gene. She was always going to be a werewolf. How could he have ever thought otherwise? He thought she had cared for him. He thought he could have opened up to her, could have cared for her, could have lo…no he could never have loved her.
He couldn’t even say the words. Not know, not after what she had done. “Caleb!” She squealed at him again, trying to grab his attention. He was marching through the house and she was trying to catch up with him. The house corridors seemed to be getting longer and longer but he didn’t seem to be slowing down any until he stopped dead and turned on her. His eyes seemed darker than they had ever been before.
“You kissed a werewolf Alexis!”
His voice was no louder than he usually spoke. He wasn’t raising it; he was just adding anger behind it. Alexis felt like it made him a completely different person. The dimly lit blue corridor seemed to be closing in on her. He seemed a lot taller than he usually did. “He kissed me” her voice was weak and she knew she shouldn’t have said anything like that. She didn’t need to defend herself against a vampire, but she did feel like she needed to defend herself against Caleb.
He wasn’t just a vampire. She cared for him and she would have never intentionally kissed Nicolas, not that she wasn’t attracted to him either but she wasn’t ready to kiss anyone well enough a werewolf. She had just got used to the fact of being in a school with werewolves. But the words she used just seemed to make him worse. “You don’t just let someone kiss you Alexis. You’re a strong girl. You have made that obvious enough. You don’t let someone kiss you if you don’t want them too” His head shook and he couldn’t even find the courage to look at her anymore.
He was disgusted, his body was beginning to shake and he leaned on the wall beside him, hoping it would provide him with some balance. Alexis didn’t want to move – no that was a lie she wanted to move out of his way, but she couldn’t get her legs to obey her. She couldn’t find the strength to push them in another direction. She wanted to comfort him but didn’t know how to.
His breathing was getting heavier and she could see his fangs prodding out the side of his lips. Her heart beat began to pick up and she was sure he had noticed. His ears had tensed up and his natural instinct was trying to take over. She took in a deep breathing hoping to calm herself as she reach an arm out to touch him, to comfort him.
As soon as her hand touched him she was thrown backwards, his reacting speed was something she had never seen firsthand before, his eyes were as black as night as he stood over her. Alexis’s cheek was in pain, a bright red mark shaped like a hand was pushed over it. She wanted to reach up and touch it, to conceal it but found that it was still a little stingy to the touch.
One hand held her up on the wooding floor. Caleb stood crouched over her completely terrifying. His fangs were dominating his mouth and his crouched position looked like he was ready to attack her. What felt like an age had only been seconds before Caleb shook his head and his face returned to normal, his blue eyes faded back in from the black and his back straighten.
Across his face was not a predatory look but in fact a look of shock and guilt. What had he done? What had he let himself do? He felt like a monster. He hadn’t contained himself like he had done for all these years. How had this happened? What was she doing to him? He had never lost control before; he had never felt so much emotion. He was supposed to be a vampire, a cold and dark creature that fed on the living – not care about it. How was this even possible? Daniel had warned him about this. Daniel was going to kill him, or worse. He shook his head again trying to shake some sense into himself before he stormed off past her, leaving her lying on the ground.
He couldn’t help her, he couldn’t touch her again, and he wouldn’t trust himself too. He didn’t know what he would do. She was safer herself.
Alexis’s cheek was bright red and her head was still reeling with the shock. She couldn’t hold it back; tears began to burst from her eyes like a waterfall as she picked herself up from the ground and ran to her room. It felt so far away yet she was there within moments.
Pushing her head into her pillow to mask the sound.
She had lost both of them.