An ANNOUNCEMENT from the
ARMED SERVICES GUILD
Greetings and salutations, fellow Guild Members! The Guild is pleased to announce the successful winners of last week’s bidding contest on the protection contracts awarded by the Grand Council of Rill. It was a real pleasure for the Guild Contract Board to receive so many wonderful submissions and it made the task of deciding the winners very difficult indeed. So, again, congratulations to the winners and take heart those of you who didn’t make the cut, as it were. If these missions are successful, and we’re sure they will be, we can all look forward to an amazing new year of combat assignments.
So, without further delay, here are the winners, in no particular order:
Team Delstatis (Team Leader: Babbaloo the Basher)
This team was awarded the contract based on it’s leader, Babbaloo’s, brilliant use of an unorthodox but seemingly unbeatable combination of speed and skill. Babbaloo will be taking…
- Two light-armored spear men on horseback, each armed additionally with the new ‘Whirling Dirvish’ head-displacement circular flying razor disks.
- Two battle-mages, each with a different but complementary set of magical skills. (One that can cast ranged detonation spells and one that can cast mass freezing limb incantations.)
- One apprentice on wagon with horse to bear the delegation. (For those of you bidding in the future; this was a great thought, to get the delegation off their feet and into transportation. It has the added benefit of allowing the delegates to begin their deliberations right away.)
- One hero. This will be Babbaloo himself. He will be wearing the new Demi-Arch, high resonating invisible armor (just don’t walk behind him, ha!) and carrying the new state-of-the-art War Hammer with Embedded Enhancement Stones. These new stones are great folks, you have to try them. If you happen to be disarmed by any type of successful melee attack, the weapon will immediately re-appear in your hand within seconds. Not bad for those tricky surprise attacks.
Team Rundergrip (Team Leader: Croakow Blinth)
This team had a clever successful bid as at least one of the of the party could speak and understand Rundergrippan. And you know what a pain that can be. As it turns out, Croakow Blinth, himself is from Rundergrip (you’d never know it from his flawless accent with common speak) and will be well-positioned to communicate with members of the Rundergrip party which will make having a translator along, unnecessary. Well done, Fighter Blinth. Croakow will also be taking….
- Three archers, one of whom carries the magical cross-bow Death Spray. (You might remember the weapon from last years Multi-kill Contest, in which the winner, Savon the Far Sighted, managed to shoot eight men off horseback with one release. The crowd went wild.)
- one medical healer equipped with reverse spell attack shields that cause the effect of body-harming spells to reverse back on to the caster.
- two large-weapons specialists.
- two apprentices with climbing skills to obtain food from the Vergon nests in the mountain ranges that they will be traversing throughout Rundegrip. Croakaw believes that with the addition of the Vergon eggs (delicious once you’ve killed the protective outer-coat worms) will allow them to travel with a minimum of supplies and cooking utensils.
Team Tamora (Team Leader: Trish of the Lizard Clan)
This was a very unique submission as beside herself, Trish will only be taking one other human. I sure wouldn’t want to be up against this team!
- Four war hounds from the Kallooran Blood Kennels. These massive beasts are almost unstoppable. Each possess huge, gaping maws loaded with knife-like teeth, paws with talons that drip pus-inducing poisons and they are bred in such a way that their coats are made up of thick impenetrable cords instead of fur.Ouch!
- Two war eagles, each capable of carrying a member of the delegation in the event that an escape becomes necessary.
- One Demi-Gorgon. These huge, venomous beasts are terrifying to behold and have the added advantage that if it came to it, they are edible and have life-giving properties in their blood.
- 1 Beast Handler, with provisions and grooming tools.
Team Slewrock (Team Leader: Roach)
Whereas the other successful submissions contained a variety of imaginative and innovative combinations of armed members, Roach decided that the best way to move forward was with overwhelming numbers. But in a most unconventional way. He will be taking…
- one Hero, namely Brian Foot Crusher. (I know, I know, we told you not to ask Brian because of his arm thing, but Brian himself cleared the way by cutting the damaged arm off completely and replacing it with one of the new mechanical weapon holders. He’s quite the sight now as beside the weapon in his sword- arm, Brian can carry up to a dozen other specialized weapons in the holder. Really handy (as it were) in case of unusual foes arising that require unique handling.)
- three hundred Crazed Ground Rats. Following the successful demonstration last month by the Regis Destructive Animal Company of the trained Crazed Ground Rat, Roach has decided to employ them exclusively (other than Brian). As you will remember from the demonstration, a contingent of Ground Rats, (those three-foot long blind rodents that attack their victims by voice command and are guided to their targets using cheese pellets flung in bunches from small, easily managed catapults) completely surrounded and over-came a heavily-armed, fortified defense position and with minimal losses killed the entire company within. Again, a bonus is that in times of necessity, they will eat each other thus eliminating the need for extra supplies.
This last bid is a bit of a stretch, some of you might be thinking, but the Guild felt that the novelty of seeing hundreds of giant rats protecting a party on the move would be something amazing to behold. Enemies would have to be pretty confident to attack a bunch like that. Besides, the Slewrock delegation has the shortest distance to travel and have themselves some fairly impressive defensive alignment in that at least two of the delegations are being invited because of their military prowess.
So, there you have it; the successful bids for the Guild Council Delegation Protection contracts. If you aren’t among the winners, don’t lose heart. There are several other bids coming up in the next few weeks. Here is a little sample of the interesting and challenging quests that you could be the successful bidder on…
- Lady Grinwell from Rill has submitted a contract on her husband Lord Grinwell, who recently ran off with one of the scullery maids to their mountain-top cottage in Rundersgrip. Lady Grinwell offers five hundred gold pieces for the death of Lord Grinwell and additional gold pieces if the proof of his death includes body parts from the offending region. If you get my drift. The scullery maid is to be left in peace as she is the daughter of the household groom, who Lady Grinwell has been having an affair with for two decades.
- Sir Alberto Grootly has offered one thousand gold pieces and a seat on the Grootly Manufacturing Corporations board of directors to anyone who can return the recently stolen Emerald Of Rondoon. This gem was taken from the Grootly house a week or so ago and is a precious family heirloom. There is a bonus of two hundred gold pieces if the magical Owl’s Tooth that was with the gem is also returned. (Warning: do not let the tooth touch water. Grootly won’t say exactly what happens but he seemed pretty anxious about it.). Suspects include Emile and Maurice Vestaberian.
- This is a strange one but might appeal to some new recruits. The Magician’s Guild has offered to sponsor for membership into the Battlemage Academy, any ASG member who is willing to undergo their new experimental Combat Augmentation Spell. If this spell is successful, the spellee will receive incredible new strengths and other physical improvements like night-vision, enhanced hearing and possibly even a third arm. The spell has only been tried on lower primates with varying degrees of success. However, the magi are fairly certain the spell will work on an actual human. This is a ‘no guarantees’ sort of contract however and there is a chance that you might find yourself looking like a pudding made out of body parts. On the other hand, you might come out of this trial as a sort of super-man fighter who would be the envy of the Guild and would almost certainly be included in other members adventuring parties. Give it some thought.
Finally, there will be a send-off party at the Hall of Warriors this Friday to say a fond farewell to the four teams that will be leaving on the weekend to their respective countries to start to transport the delegations. Food will be available including roast mutton, fish, and fried Dilmouth bladder. Please feel free to bring a guest but remember it’s a cash bar folks. Doors open at eight and the festivities will continue until nobody can stand up. Don’t overdo it protection parties, but have fun!