Chapter 11 - not edited yet
This morning had been so awkward with Charlie, he barely even said
"Hello" when I come out of my room, even though I was dressed for the day in a short black skater skirt that even I could admit was to short for school and a white top with the lunar cycle on that showed a touch to much of my girl's. I was trying to see if he would comment but he didn't.
"Sophronia I am going to school early, did you want a lift?" he asks me as his first words to me other than his hello, he doesnt even look up at me, just stares at his newspaperthat surely couldn't be that interesting.
"No thanks," I tell him, how had I made this so awkward? I went about making myself a smoothie in silence. he left then without another word to me, just folded up his newspaper and left. I watch him go and for some reason, I can't control the tears that slip down my face. He really will never understand me. I can't seem to stop crying. When the door knocks I go and answer it knowing it would be Nathan.
"What's wrong?" he asks me straight away, the moment he sees me. I must look a mess. I wipe the tears off my cheeks.
"just girl drama," I lie to him shrugging trying to stop myself crying.
"is this about what your dickhead of an ex wrote on your facebook this morning?" Nathan questions me sounding peed off.
"Um no, I haven't seen my facebook since Saturday. why what has he wrote?" I ask, already knowing it can't be good.
"Don't worry about it, I can comment if you want and set him straight," Nathan inform me. something tells me that he is itching for a fight with someone.
"Can I see it?" I ask him, holding my hand out for his cell. he looks at me so torn but then he hands his cell to me with facebook open. I look at my profile.
Jacob commented on Sophies picture
You look like your having so much fun Fee, you're all over Abe. going after someone else's boyfriend now we've split, are you?
Yeah, I called Fee out on her cheating its why a long distance relationship would never have worked shes such a slut.
"omg, I never once cheated on him!" I snap at Nathan, already knowing he isn't the one to blame. I look at some of the comments from others it had got nasty pretty quick. apparently I was in love with myself and a slut and using photoshop on my body for all my pictures. I read them all trying not to cry more.
"Sophia don't worry about it, your real friends know you, look at Tiffanys and Vannesa's and Hannahs posts and Lauras," he says indicating some of theres who were all trying to come to my aid.
"Its just drama Nathan," I assure him trying to hide my hurt. If I can cope with Charlie hurting me I can cope with anything.
"If I loved myself, I would have put the pictures up myself not be tagged." I sigh, feeling deflated.
"come on let's go school." I force myself to say to Nathan. Forcing myself to leave the house that feels so far from a home this morning as could get.
"Hows your shoulder?" Nathan asks me once we are in his car, obviously wanting to drag me out my own head, I have been reliving this morning over and over again, wondering what I could have done to change it with Charlie.
"Better the massage helped," I assure him.
"Sophia if you ever want to talk I will listen, I don't know what Des might have told you about me. but thats different," Nathan tells me sounding worried.
"he told me it was between both of you," I tell Nathan looking at him as he stops at a stop sign watching the road.
"Long story short we used to be friends, but we aren't now," Nathan tells me.
"Don't bring me in on your drama. I've got enough in my own life." I tell him.
"I know," Nathan assures me.
at Lunchtime I surprise myself and Des, I do actually go and sit with him after quickly going to look at who got on the track team and I didn't make it. but then I had known I wouldn't.
After school i meet up with Nathan at his car.
"how was your day?" he asks me.
"okay yours?" i ask him.
"fine." he tells me. Well thats the pleasantries over at least.
"did you get on the team?" he asks me.
"no." i told him. "always next term." he told me. i nodded. We drove back to his, i went into my own home to do my homework saying i would meet him in 2 hours to go to the resturant as Charlie and Sarah were meeting us there, Charlie hadnt said but then that would require him talking to me.
When all my homework was done, i grabbed my broom incase i needed a quick excape and then went and knocked next door. Justin answered the door, with a toothbrush in his mouth. "jfhdid." he said. "uh?" i asked him. He walked away back into the bathroom. i went in and hovered whilst they finished getting ready. Blake came out the bedroom, his shirt not done up. i looked at his chest. "did you sort out your ex?" he asked me. "no?" i said as a question. "Then fucking let me." Nathan said coming out his room. "its no big." i said shrugging. "it is a big believe me." Nathan said. "Just leave me out of it." i said. He smirked. "will do, can i borrow your phone a second." he said. i handed him my cell he did a few things, i wasnt signed in and didnt keep my sign in details stored. he seemed to take a few pictures then went to typing. i watched curious. "So how often do you think these big family meals will become." Justin asked me throwing his arm around my waist rather than my shoulder. "your shoulder better today?" Blake asked. i nodded. "yeah." i said. "well im glad you got it looked at." he said. "we should get going." Blake said looking at the time. so we went outside we all climbed in Blakes truck, he parked like an idiot, drove sensibley parked idiotly. i couldnt work him out.
when we went in, it was the opposite of the other day, Charlie and Sarah were sat at the table. we all slotted in. "So how was your days?" Charlie asked us. "fine." we all said. i picked up a menu. i would have beef stroganof today. i put it down. we all ordered, Nathan on and off his phone. to which his mom told him off. When dinner was ordered, i saw Sarah look at Charlie and vice a versa. "Kids." Sarah started worried. "How would you all feel about moving?" Sarah asked, that wasnt what i was expecting. "What do you mean?" Justin asked confused. "Well Charlie and i have been talking and as the 4 of you are getting on so well." Sarah started. "we thought it might be worth trying to live together." Charlie said. looking at me like he was torn. "So what you both moving intogether?" Justin asked confused. "Surely that means you both have to sell the houses where will you all live?" Blake asked. Nathan was suprisingly quiet. i watched them. "We have managed to find a nice 4 bedroom in town, with a drive big enough for you all to play ball and a backyard." Sarah said. "wow so when im old enough to move out i finally get my own room?" Nathan asked. i watched silently. "Well actully no Nathan you and Justin will still have to share a room." Sarah said. "Why?" Justin asked. "Because Justin your going to become a big brother in a few months." Sarah said so worried watching her sons. Nathan walked out. he didnt say anything he just stood up and walked out. Justin followed a few seconds after his brother. "Sophia." Charlie started as i hadnt moved. "congratulations." i said, trying to mean those words, the worry and hurt and emotions fell of Sarah and her sons reactions. "Can i be excused to go after them?" Blake asked. "Yes ofcourse." Sarah said weakly. "Sophia i assure you this doesnt change the fact i want a realtionship with you." Charlie started. "can i go with Blake?" i asked as he was standing up. "Alright." Charlie said deflated, he couldnt be defleated after this morning. i went with Blake fast. "you alright?" Blake asked me when i got outside. "Yeah." i lied. "Where do you think they went?" i asked him. Blake sent a text. he got a response "come on lets go to the park." Blake said, we did walk to the swings. it felt awkard walking next to him, i kept feeling like i should slot my hand in his. When we got to the park Nathan and Justin were sat on the swings. Blake and i walked over. "Shit Sophia." Justin said seeing me as if he just saw me. "I can go if you want." i said, i wanted to currently all the way to england. i wanted my mom in so many ways. "No ofcourse not." Justin said. "it must be harder for you than us." Justin said. "Why would it be harder for me, i dont know them." i said. "im here temperoy thats your mom." i said. Nathan was silent swinging. "Why wouldnt they use protection." Nathan demanded from us but also from noone. "Sometimes condoms split, but they are also adults maybe they felt ready to be a family and wanted your family to grow, they arent trying to replace you both." i said knowing i said the right thing for Justin. "Maybe they are ready to be a family." i told them. "Maybe you should go hear them out." i said. "Says the girl who wanted to run away less than a week ago." Nathan mumbled. "go listen to them." i said. "Fine." Nathan said storming off, i watched him go. "i better go make sure he doesnt get hurt." Justin said. i nodded, "come on then." he said. i looked at him. "you go talk to Blake i will give you a bit of space alright." i said. "Sophia i aint leaving you alone in a park at night." Justin snapped. "Just for a miniute alright." i said, i needed to be alone as much as they did. "Go on Justin, i will stay with Soph until shes ready herself." Blake said. Justin looked torn but then he nodded and left. "How you holding up?" Blake asked me. "It doesnt matter how i feel about it does it. its happened, i have a new sibling, come a few months im gone and i dont ever have to look back." i said. "What about your little brother or sister?" he asked me. i took a deep breath Blake seemed to take a few steps towards me. "they will be better off without me in there life, same as Charlie." i said fidgeting. Blake was in my comfort zone and i didnt even mind. "Maybe they would be." Blake said. i had expected to fight with me, but i think we both knew i was right. "Maybe they would be better of without you." Blake said seriously, the agreement stung in my heart. "but who says you would be better off without them. you need someone Sophia, i get it you have your friends. but believe me all your facebook showed me today is you need someone in your corner." Blake said. "Your strong independant." he said stroking my hair behind my ear. "But thats the problem your to scared not to be." he said. "why are you more in touch with your feelings than i am?" i asked him trying to make a joke, i hadnt realised i was crying. "Because i have been exactly where your sitting." he said. "The feeling like you arent really wanted, like the world is spinning and your expected to spin with it but all you want to do is stay still." Blake said. "You said it yourself this is Charlies chance of a family and Sophia i can tell you he wants you apart of that." he said. "Maybe i cant be." i said. "Maybe i dont want to have to hide myself forever." i said truthfully. "then dont hide who you are, who cares if your not really strong. As long as your you." he told me. he gently kissed my head suprising me. "Be you, those who are worth being in your life will acept you." he said. "What if who i really am inside isnt what i should be?" i asked. "than who said thats who you should be." Blake said, "Who said being popular and a cheerleader and dating the most popular guy at school was the best thing for you. Who said you needed to hide who you really are." he said. "you had most girls dream life and i know you were possibly happy with your mom. but were you really happy?" he asked me. I thought about it, "think hard but remember you now have two step brothers that will be there for you through thick or thin. but also remember they arent actully realted to you." Blake said. "So dont put to much of my shit on them." i said. "No, put all your shit on them if you want to." he said. "Share your shit." he said stroking my hair and curling it around his fingers. "Come on lets go back dinners possibly on the table." Blake said. i nodded. we went back, i kept looking at him and finding myself blush, how did he suddenly seem to give me butterflys.
When we got back to the resturant Nathan and Justin were both sat there at the table. Charlie looked at me so worried. "Are you okay?" he asked me. "yeah." i shrugged. i ate my dinner in silence, listening to Nathan and Justins questions and there answers. after we all went home. Charlie and i went into his. "Sophia." he started. "I am going to bed Charlie." i say. i walked in my room slamming the door and magic sealing it because i couldnt face the man currently. Why tell me he didnt want me to have to hide who i was then want to move me into a house with 3 maybe 4 (as i really couldnt work out Blake) humans. Where i would have to hide my magic even more than i did now. i would be walking on egg shells. if Auntie Beaty knew dad would be a toad before he even thought about it. No i remembered auntie Beaty had promised mom on a spell book that she would never use her magic to harm my father as well. but that didnt stop her getting her husband to. that didnt stop me asking Abe and Vinnie... No as much as he hurt me, apart of me understood. a part of me knew he desereved a human family.
The next morning i woke up early dressed quickly and grabbed my yoga matt and broom and went out, i would have a run and when i could have a small flight. thats exactly what i did, i went down to the beach i had met Caspian on he didnt come. where was he? was that the only time i was ever going to meet the merman? My books said mer were difficult people as there life span was longer than land livers they lost years and only thought it was days and to them it was only days of there life. they werent immortal but there life span was longer than my own by 100s on years and with what Caspian had said he was still a baby mer. when i had finished my yoga i flew back up the cliff still invisible to peoples eyes, thinking it was the best idea going on that beach. then when i knew no one was about i turned visable and jogged the rest of the way home. Des biked past me and rolled his eyes at me. "Toad." i shouted at him. he gave me a knowing look. "Toad." he said. i couldnt help but grin as i sped up the rest of the way home. well one thing i could say Des was a good boyfriend to his girlfriend, he had made it his mission to get her jusitice, even if she didnt know it.
Charlie was gone when i got back, having a key now. i went in and showered, i knew i shouldnt just assume Nathan was taking me to school everyday and i was kind of fearing he wasnt, when i got out the shower and dressed and had eaten breakifast as his normal knock hadnt come. i could fly myself to school if worst happened and just turn visible and walk when i was closer. i was thinking just this when the knock came. i went and answered the door. "Hey Soph do you want a lift to school?" Justin asked me, what why was it Justin. "um sure, have i missed Nathan?" i asked worried. "He isnt going, he doesnt feel very well." Justin said. i looked at him worried. "Is it because of last night?" i asked worried. "Yeah slightly." Justin said. i didnt know what to say. "Mr D and you talk about it?" Justin asked me as i let him come in whilst i grabbed my bag. "That would require talking to each other." i said going to the fridge, i was going to magic a lunch up and look like i was just pulling it out, but i saw Charlie had made me one. "You not talking to him?" Justin asked me. "We have been giving each other the silent treetment since monday." i admitted. "What why?" Justin asked. "Just had a disagreement." i said, thinking about it. "I said somethings that i shouldnt given the new curcamstances." i admitted. I shoved my sandwich into my backpack with some fruit. "Your so healthy, noones telling you to eat your 5 aday you just are." Justin said. "Why would i need anyone to tell me what to eat?" i asked. "i dunno your just healthy. you dont even seem to diet you just seem to be sensible." Justin said watching me throw a bag of chips into my bag. "You havent seen me with a tub of ben and jerrys." i told him. "Well i will remember that." Justin said with a smile. "Come on Soph lets get you school, i got a lecture." he said. "dont you find it weird that your classes are called lectures, like." i started. "yes i fully agree with what youre thinking." Justin said, indicating me out. i left in front of him with my bag. Justin drove me to school listening to actully suprisingly good music. "you know it might be easyer us living together." Justin said just as he pulled up in the school playground "Why?" i asked him. "it be easyer to keep an eye on you." he said with a smile. "i dont need being watched, that sounds kind of stakery to, i think you should adress it." i told him. "i know you dont and yeah i think i need that looked into." he said. "Have a good day at school, do you want me to pick you up?" he asked me. "Na thats fine i will jog back to Charlies." i said. "Sophia." Justin said as i opened the door. "Yeah?" i asked. "Do you ever think youll ever call it home?" he asked me worried. "No Justin i dont." i admitted. my home was with my mom, it wasnt our house but it was the one person who loved me for my everything down to the mole on my left toe and the freckles on my cheeks and every single one of my grey hairs. i found myself cloudy up. "How long do you think it will be before we move?" i managed to mumble. "Moms putting the house on the market today, its why we got attacked with the information yesterday and why it turned out she made us all paint it freshly in the summer." Justin told me. "Nathans staying to sabatage." Justin said. "is living with me that bad a thing?" i asked trying to sound joking. "no Sophia it isnt, hes just not ready." Justin mumbled. "And how do you feel?" i asked him. he smirked at me. "well little therpist. i think that its out of our control and we can either be happy for them or not, but either way this is happening." Justin said. "We just got to go with it." i said to him, he nodded. "Anyway weve been calling you our little step sister since you arrived, this just makes it more offical." Justin said. "now get to class before im any latter." he said. i did i went off.