Clear yellow light streamed through the open windows as I opened my eyes. A faint breeze was coming through them and I could smell the fields outside. I could hear the birds that flew in the distance singing a melody. It was a nice way to wake up from such a horrible night. I looked over at what had been burning candles: now just melted wax. I couldn’t hear anybody downstairs, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. I wanted all of them present when I asked about Lilith.
I turned over in bed and noticed that Alex was already gone; his pillow still indented where he slept. I reached over and grabbed the pillow to smell it. It smelled just like him: Irish Spring soap and Cool Water cologne. As I placed the pillow over my head I could feel the hunger in my veins starting to throb and the pain deep within my stomach starting to turn. When was that last time I fed?
I got up and walked to the mirror to see what my restless night left behind, but it wasn’t what I saw that bothered me. It was what I didn’t see. I didn’t see the face of a tired woman. I didn’t see restless eyes that are always left behind from sleepless nights. I didn’t feel tense muscles from all day fighting. I saw beauty. Somebody who has slept for days and was refreshed, my hair even fell into place perfectly. A girl could get used to this.
I walked over to where my clothes had been left from the day before. I really didn’t want to put them on. Not only were they filthy from rolling around in the dirt, but putting them on would mean that I would be practicing my fighting skills today once again. But they were the only clothes I had. As I slipped them on, I could feel the grit of the dirt rub against my skin. I put my hair up in a pony tail and walked out of the room, ready to start a long and tiring day.
I walked downstairs, but as I got about halfway down, I heard the guys sitting in the living room talking as if they were in a meeting. I walked slowly and quietly, trying to hear what they were saying, but they stopped talking as if they had sensed me getting close. I guess it should be obvious: if I could hear them then they could hear me, regardless of how quiet I was trying to be. But why wouldn’t they want me to hear what they’re saying? I mean, isn’t everything they have to say about me and what I am here to do? So wouldn’t I have to hear all of it anyway? Why did everything have to be a big secret?
Before I could reach the last step, Marcus greeted me. “Good morning, Trinity. I hope you slept well.”
I have to say that I was a little disappointed that he heard me so I rolled my eyes as I descended the last few steps. “And why’s that, Marcus? Do you have another full day of fighting planned for me? Or another day of secrets?”
I rounded the corner of the stairs and walked into the living room. The men sat in a circle, as if they had assigned seats, and Marcus was seated in the center. But Mary was nowhere in sight. The mood was tense, even scary. They were deep in thought and the somber tone would have continued if I hadn’t interrupted.
“What are you talking about!?” Jessup said, standing up in a somewhat defensive position.
Alex looked at me seeming confused and concerned. But I had finally gotten their attention and I would get them to listen to me no matter what. Maybe that’s what they were used to: people taking authority? Maybe I needed to act this way from now on, especially if all they could talk about was my being ‘The One.’
“Who’s Lilith?” I said, raising my eyebrows and crossing my arms.
I knew it was just a dream and I knew it was a gamble to mention her name but I had to find out who she was and what she wanted with me. I mean, maybe they didn’t even know who she was. Or why she was feared. What was the meaning of our relationship? Why did she hunt me?
Marcus’ eyes narrowed the minute I spoke Lilith’s name. Alex looked away and the others kept their eyes on Marcus, waiting for him to say something, anything that told them what to do or what emotion to feel.
“And why am I dreaming of her?” I said, determined to get an answer.
“You dreamt of her!!?”
Marcus stood up in horror and then suddenly looked betrayed. “When?”
I began to worry about what my dream had brought to us all. Would it bring a bigger war? How could a name be so fearful to vampires? How could a dream bring… anything? “Last night. Why? Who is she?” I questioned.
They looked at one another, but nobody said anything. I felt like they were reading each other’s thoughts… something I didn’t think I could do. I tried to read their faces but they were blank. Maybe you have to be around each other for as long as they have been for that to work. Either way, I felt that they were thinking something that they didn’t want to tell me.
Alex finally looked at me then looked at Marcus, and they both shook their heads. What the hell did that mean? I was tired of being left out. I was tired of them thinking I couldn’t handle it. Whatever it was, whatever this stupid dream brought to us, it had everything to do with me and I had every right to know what it meant.
“It couldn’t have been anyone here, Alexander…” Marcus suddenly said, his voice sounding stressed.
I walked over to where they were standing. They were all taller than me, so I was forced to look up at them. I didn’t know where the conversation was going. “What’s going on Alex? This… this is getting weird.” I grabbed his arm and squeezed tight. At that moment, holding him made me feel safe. I felt certain he wouldn’t allow me to get hurt. But he also had to know that it was important that he talked to me.
Alex stood motionless. “Wait…” He looked around. “Where’s Mary??” I could hear the growl in his voice.
I let go of his arm and followed his eyes. Mary usually sat at the kitchen table minding her own business, writing in her journal, but now there was only an empty chair and a single pen on the table. There was nothing other than that damn pen to show that she had even been here. Her clothes and her bags were gone.
Alex looked at Marcus; I could see his eyes turn black. I remembered what he told me about when a vampire gets ready to attack. I took a step back. Whatever he was about to do, I wanted to make sure I was nowhere close to the fallout that would follow.
“How well did you know her, Marcus?!” Alex’s yell was fierce.
Without warning, he pushed Marcus across the room. He flew to the wall in the kitchen, breaking a wooden chair that was in his way, and slid down the wall, landing on his butt. He made a loud thud that shook the old wooden floor. I took another step back in shock.
Alex’s reaction didn’t seem to surprise Marcus. He looked as if he knew it was going to happen. “Apparently, not well enough, Alexander.” Marcus was calm; he got up and dusted off the side of his leg.
“Yeah, well, while you were out NOT checking her references, I’ve been trying to save Trinity – and now you might have just killed her! She’s had one day of training Marcus… ONE!” Alex’s eyes turned back to blue.
Why was all this such a problem? I thought. What had Marcus done? What would Mary do that could harm us? She was just one little vampire that looked pretty in a dress. She didn’t look like she could harm a fly. Why would she be a threat? The only thing I could do was stand there like a lost child in a grocery store.
“I know, Alexander, and for that I am sorry. What do you think we should do?”
Marcus walked over to where he had originally stood. I moved closer to Alex, back to the only one of them that I could consider my protector. Suddenly, the room got quiet yet again. Five pairs of intense vampire eyes stared at me as if I had the answer to whatever the question was.
“What??? Why are you all looking at me?” I was getting anxious. What had Mary done to me? What is everyone afraid of?
Jessup finally spoke. “You need to hide her, Alexander!”
“NO! All of you stop talking as if I’m not here, damn it!” I walked into the middle of the circle, trying to put my foot down. I needed to be taken seriously. I wasn’t a small child; this was all happening because of me and I needed to know why! “Somebody better tell me what’s going on or I’m not going to do anything else you tell me to do… And I mean NOW!”
Marcus let out a sigh and relaxed his shoulders. “You’re dreaming of Lilith…”
I cut him off. “Yeah. So?”
“That can only mean that Daniel knows where you are.”
“But how?” I sat down on the chair beside me, not taking my eyes off Marcus.
“You share the same blood, that’s how. Once he knows where you are, he can come to you in your dreams. He’s connected to you. But that connection only works when he knows where you are.”
“Okay that may explain how Daniel knows where I ambut it doesn’t explain why everybody is so upset about Lilith. Who is she?”
“We don’t have time for this Marcus. We need to move. NOW!” said Cyrus.
“It’s too late.” Alex said slowly as he looked out the window.
I suddenly heard what he must have been hearing. I heard faint running steps of what seemed like several people. They were close – maybe a few miles away – and gaining speed. It was Mary; I could hear her breathing heavily and I could smell her. Everything that Alex told me was happening. I could sense her just as Alex sensed the other vampire days before. This was all happening and I was making it happen. I wanted to see more. Mary was bringing many of her friends: friends who were much larger and stronger. When their feet hit the ground, I could tell how hard. I could hear them grinding their teeth and snarling with every breath. I closed my eyes to focus on my hearing.
“It’s Mary. She’s… she’s getting close and she’s being fueled by her anger.” I said, not realizing that I said it out loud.
Alex moved closer to me and grabbed my hands, holding them very lightly. “Can you see her?”
“Are you kidding me?! How can she see her?” I could tell it was Jimmie’s voice.
“SILENCE, Jimmie! Allow her to use her senses,” Marcus said, using his authority.
“Trinity, can you see her? Forget everything around you. Focus all your energy on her. See through the blackness. Smell her, listen to her.” Alex tightened his grip on my hands.
I closed my mind to everything that was going on around me. I stopped listening to Jimmie pacing, I ignored Jessup’s anger, I stopped feeling Alex’s touch, though I wouldn’t have minded feeling it a little while longer. I saw fields of yellow, the fields that surrounded us. I saw the light shining on the grass and the birds flying in the air. I started to see legs running and arms moving.
I let out a breath. “I see her. She’s motioning for her followers to run faster.”
“Good, Trinity. Now try and see how many there are with her.” Alex’s voice sounded more demanding.
“It’s hard to tell. I mean it’s just coming in clips.” I tried to squeeze my eyes tighter. “Ten, maybe fifteen.”
I couldn’t focus any longer. My mind started spinning, my body became weak and my legs were losing the strength they needed to hold me up. I fell into Alex’s arms and in the process I lost whatever visions I had of her. But I knew it wouldn’t be long until I faced her. I felt the anger she had towards me and I knew she was running to get me. She didn’t care how many of us there were here, because she had more. She didn’t care how strong these five men beside me were because her men were stronger. She only cared about getting to me. I was the prize at the end of this game.
Jessup and Cyrus hurried to get their freshly-made swords and pack their pockets with things I couldn’t see. They moved so quickly that if you were to blink, you would miss it. Marcus and Jimmie finished putting their shoes on and assembled their body gear. But Alex just held onto me tightly, reassuring me that everything would be okay. His arms held me securely around my waist; the only thing I could do was bite my nails anxiously. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to my protectors. We had only spent a short amount of time together but I felt a different bond with every one of them. Marcus, the apparent leader, who I knew I could count on to help me make the right decisions. Jessup, who might be the strongest, and who I could count on to fight hard for me. Cyrus, who seemed to be the little brother of Jessup. I new I could count on him to take Jessup’s place if anything happened to him. Jimmie, the joker. I knew I could count on him to make light out of any situation, no matter what. And Alex. My Alex. He was more than my protector. He was willing to die to save me.
I looked up at Alex and saw that his eyes, once a beautiful shade of blue, were now an even darker shade of black, a black that was glowing with fierceness. I knew what that meant and I knew I needed to get to that emotion as well. My body started to tremble, but I wasn’t scared. I was preparing for the fight I had ahead of me. I felt Mary in me. With every inch that she moved towards me, I felt her need to kill me. I felt her excitement, I felt her thrill, I felt her need, I felt everything. I stiffened my body and cracked my neck. “They’re here,” I said and looked over at the door.
I didn’t know what I was going to do. They were here for me, not them. But it gave me courage to know that these five men, these five vampires, would die to protect me and ensure my safety. I realized I would do anything to not let them down.
With her small army, Mary stopped in front of the house. I could hear the leaves crackling under their feet as they walked the grounds. I stood near the window and looked out. My calculations were correct. Mary stood a few feet away from the front door. She didn’t look like the woman I met the day before. She looked merciless, malicious. Even her posture projected her brutality. She wasn’t wearing the dress she wore the day I met her. Today she was wearing battle gear. She wore a black tank top shirt, tight black pants with kneepads and calf-high black boots. Her hair was up in a ponytail and her makeup was dark – just like her mood. She stood there, determined and ready to fight at any given moment. Her arms were now visible and Daniel’s mark could be seen: she was a captain. My heart sunk when I saw his crest.
All fifteen of her men surrounded the property, each in a crouch, waiting for her to command them to fight. What was she waiting for? She had more men than I did and obviously had more of the advantage. Why did she want to prolong the inevitable? I was less than fifty feet away. What was she doing? I stood at the door in Alex’s arms, while Marcus, Jessup, Cyrus, and Jimmie stood back, waiting.
“Just give us the girl, Alexander, and you and your men can go free.” Her voice felt like daggers down my spine. So that’s what she was waiting for. She didn’t want to harm the other men. She just wanted to harm me.
“You know I can’t do that, Mary. I will not do that.” Alex put his arms around my shoulders.
“You can make this all go away if you want to.” She paused. “I give you my word. We will spare all your lives if you give me the girl.” She went silent, waiting for Alex’s response. She leaned on one leg and crossed her arms.
“Your word! That means nothing to me, Mary!”
I heard her followers move in closer, taking new positions. They were waiting for us to say No. Then they would launch their attack. “They’re surrounding us. They’re going to attack. Please, just let me go to her. All of you can run,” I pleaded with them. But my mind wasn’t thinking clearly. What would I do once she had me? I knew I would surely die.
Alex turned to me and put his hands on my cheeks. “We can’t let you do that, Trinity. It’s all or nothing.” He smiled down at me, a warm and gentle smile. I knew he meant it, but just the same I couldn’t let him die, not for me.
“What’s the plan, Alexander!?” Marcus was getting impatient. He started rocking back and forth and rubbing his forehead.
Alex kept his hands on my face and turned his head toward Marcus. “No plan. We just need to win.”
“You said it yourself: she’s only had one day of training,” said Cyrus as he walked toward us.
I felt the mood change outside. Mary was getting agitated. I could hear the snarl in her breath. She was going to get what she came for… Me. Then a thought hit me. “I have an idea,” I said. “I’ll go out to Mary. I’ll be a diversion while you guys go and take the others.”
Marcus didn’t seem surprised or upset over my thinking. “That’s a good idea.”
Alex turned on him in fury. His voice was a searing snarl. “That’s suicide. That is not an option!”
“Alex, there’s no other way damn it! She wants me – only me! If I go out there alone, the others will think you guys gave up and the fight will be over. They’ll relax; they’ll never think you guys would go after them.” I argued with Alex to see things my way.
We scowled at each other in silence, waiting for the other to back down. I kept getting distracted by his livid, gorgeous face. It was like trying to stare down a heavenly angel. He looked like he didn’t want to cave in but I knew I had a good idea, even if it might kill me.
The silence lasted for a long time as Alex and I stared at each other. We were both wondering who would win this fight. Finally, Alex broke the silence. His voice was worn and his face was vulnerable. “Alright. But don’t be stupid! Don’t try and be a hero! You’re too important to me – err – to the cause.”
Jimmie and Cyrus shared a smile. I was stunned and I could tell he was a little embarrassed by what he said. I smiled at him anyway. “I promise. Nothing stupid.”
I walked over to the door, hardly able to believe what I just planned. Apprehensively, I reached for the door knob and turned it.
She was standing in the middle of the field, alone, motionless and smiling. Her smile was nothing less than evil and she looked at me like she had already won the battle. I turned back to look at Alex but he was already gone. Even though I knew the others were out there, I felt that Mary and I were completely alone and I was going to lose.
I closed the door behind me and stood on the top step of the stairs. I didn’t know what to do or even what to say. Should I let her come at me first or should I just run to her, hoping I could make a dent in her perfect face? Would she just jump at me and take me down with one hit or would she want the torture to last longer?
Mary slowly walked towards to me. She walked like a cat, seeming like she might bend into a crouch at anytime. Her eyes where sharp, black and focused on me. “You give up to soon, Trinity. I would have enjoyed a chase,” her voice piercing my spine. “I actually thought you would challenge me. That’s why I brought so many.”
“I told them to let me go. I don’t want anybody to get hurt over me.” My voice was shaky.
“How admirable of you. It kinda makes me all teary. They’re all cowards.” Her voice changed to one more sinister than I could have imagined. “You’re just like your mother. And it seems to me that’s exactly what she said before I finished her.” Her smile widened.
My mind stopped after hearing her say that. But I tried to forget it and move on with whatever plan I could make up in a moment’s notice.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” She put her fingers to her lips. “Did I hit a touchy subject? Do we have Mommy issues?”
I tried to shift my focus on the fighting that was going on around me, but I couldn’t let it go. She was the one who finished my mother; she was the one that tracked her down and ended her life.
“Oh, don’t look so surprised. She was already dead when I got to her, honey. One of my soldiers must have slit her throat before I could. I just sped up the process.” She laughed.
I felt my body tensing, rage building inside of me, and I noticed that my body began to crouch, baring my teeth in anger. I understood this was what she wanted all along. She didn’t care what her orders were from Daniel, she wouldn’t let me leave here alive.
“That’s right: get angry. It’ll make my job a lot easier.” She snarled.
The wind started to pick up and black clouds formed. Thunder shook the ground and lightning lit up the sky. Her smile faded gradually and she imitated my moves, preparing for my attack. She lurched one step forward into a crouch and a wild snarl ripped from her throat. I crouched lower and jumped into the air toward her. She did the same. We met in mid air grabbing each other by the throat, snarls coming from both of us.
“This is what you wanted all along, isn’t it?” I yelled.
The sound of our snarls echoed in the distant trees. We spun in circles; clawing at each other’s throats. I couldn’t be sure how many times we circled before throwing each other off. I landed on my feet with my fingertips touching the ground.
“Is that all you’ve got?” She laughed.
I stood up and turned to see where she was. I found her almost fifty feet away with her back to me. I ran as fast and as quietly as I could. At the last instant, she noticed I was coming, but it was an instant too late. I jumped onto her back. She snarled in disbelief and tried to grab my neck, but my hands were already around her head and my legs wrapped firmly around her waist.
As my anger intensified, the rain started to fall more heavily, the thunder got louder, but the wind was dying down. My body felt like an inferno and I was trembling all the way to my fingertips.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She whispered.
I wanted her to feel my anger and I wanted to taste her death. If Daniel could actually see me, then I wanted him to see me kill her. I wanted him to fear me.
Her voice ripped me from my thoughts. “Your mother was too scared to kill me. What makes you think you can finish the job?” Her voice was strained. I could feel her body starting to get weak.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not my mother!” I whispered in her ear.
I twisted my hands around her head, ripping it off her body. There was a cracking noise, one I’ve never heard before. I unlocked my feet and landed on the ground, holding her head in my hand like a trophy. Her body fell making a thump as it hit the ground.
I couldn’t believe I had just won this very short battle. I was walking away – not the enemy. My body was numb from amazement. A small shred of satisfaction came over me. I could only hope my mother had watched me avenge her death.
The rain stopped and the clouds drifted away. The sun was bright and the sky turned out to be beautiful. I dropped to my knees in relief. This part was over. I looked up, trying to see through my blurry vision of blood, and saw five bloody figures walking toward me in the distance. They were my guardians, my defenders. They looked to be okay. They walked slowly towards me, confident – as if they were proud they got the job done. I hoped that, when they saw what I had done, they would be proud of me, too.
As they got within speaking distance, Jimmie laughed. “Nothing stupid, huh?” He stopped, crossed his arms and put one foot over the other. He wasn’t as bloody as the others, in fact, he didn’t have one stain of blood on him. Did he even have to fight?
“Hey! Who’s lying on the ground headless?” I tried to match his sarcasm, but nobody laughed.
“I under estimated you, Trinity.” Marcus knelt down by my side, putting his hand on my shoulder. “You did well – better than we thought you would.”
“Well, then do I rank with the big boys yet?” At least they laughed at that, but this time I was serious.
They walked away, leaving Alex behind. He stood motionless by my side. Thank God he was okay.
“You didn’t know, did you?” I questioned his knowledge about my mother’s death.
“No. I thought that when I drank your mother’s blood, she died. I never would have believed that she survived, only to be finished by Mary.” He knew exactly what I was talking about.
“There’s more you’re not telling me, though. Like who Lilith is, and how this all got started. You’re going in circles and leaving important details out and I can’t go on like this. Every turn I make, I get a new surprise.”
He sat down next to me and let out a sigh. “I know.”
“You can’t continue to keep secrets from me, not if I’m going to fight for these reasons. I have to know everything, Alex.”
He waited a brief moment. “There’s only one place for you to find out the truth, one place that has everything you’ll need.”
“Is that where it’s all written?”
“How did you know…? He was surprised.
I cut him off. “My dream.” He didn’t argue. He understood.
“We’ll rest tonight and then I’ll take you there. It’s a long journey but you’ll understand everything once you get there. I promise.”
I felt relieved that I would finally get some answers. Maybe I will finally understand who I am and where I came from.
We got up together and headed back inside, holding hands. We walked slowly and in silence. Thoughts were running wild in both our minds, but we were too tired to speak them.
Strangely enough, my body wasn’t sore. It had been a long day. The sun was setting, bringing on another yellow moon. There was one silver star in the sky that shone like a diamond. I thought to myself that it must be the North Star and it was shining for me. I had to smile knowing that even through all the mess that was going on around me, there was still something so small that was still shining.
When we walked into the house, the others were sitting in their usual seats forming a circle. There was a vampire lying on the floor, clearly one of Mary’s men. He was still alive but just barely. Blood was dripping from his neck and his body was twitching. He wasn’t a young vampire but neither was he old enough to have lived his life.
“What’s this?” I was taken back.
“Did you get anything out of him?” Alex kept his eyes on the half dead vampire.
“Nothing. He’s too far gone to speak. We kept him around for Trinity.” Marcus looked at me.
“Huh?” My eyes circled the living room. “For me? What use could I possibly get out of him?”
Alex untangled his hand from mine and turned to me. “You’re hungry, right?”
I could feel that all-knowing pain throbbing in my veins. “Well, yeah but…”
“He has blood. Drink.”
“Huh??” It was all I could say.
“It’s kind of good that they showed up. There are no animals or humans to feed on around here and you need to eat. His blood will give you what you need.” He was very persuasive.
“We got our fill when we killed the others. You need one too. Actually, I’m surprised you didn’t drink Mary’s,” said Jimmie as he looked out the window. He never looked my way and he never looked at the victim.
I didn’t have the energy to argue or plead with him. At least this one was on the verge of death. I wouldn’t be taking his life, just speeding up his death. And the fact that he was the enemy didn’t make it such a bad thing either.
When I was finished I was even more tired and bloodier too. His blood, the blood of a vampire, didn’t make me feel like a human’s blood did. His blood tasted like copper and felt very cold going down my throat. But I figured it would do the job. When I got my fill, I took a shower to wash off the day and headed to my room.
When I opened the door, Alex was again already asleep. I stood there for a moment and admired his beauty. His chest wasn’t rising with his breathing and again he actually looked dead. I was too tired to continue watching, although, under different circumstances, I could have stood there for hours. I walked across the room to my side of the bed and lay down next to him. Before I closed my eyes, I felt Alex wrap his arms around me. It was nice and comforting, almost peaceful. Maybe I would get a restful night sleep tonight.
I was wrong…
In my dream, I was walking through a hallway. There was no furniture, and the carpet was brown. It wasn’t a normal hallway, and it felt familiar. I was in a house. The walls were white and pictures were hanging exactly five inches apart from one another. That’s how I used to hang my pictures. I realized this was my hallway. This was my house. I looked closer to the photos; those were my daughter’s school pictures hanging on the walls, one for every year, and one big family portrait.
I walked further down the hallway and noticed there should be three doors but there was only more wall. I turned to look where the master bedroom would be and, to my surprise, there was a door and it was open. I walked through the doorway but not another inch further and noticed it was my room. All my furniture was there just the way I left it. Nothing had changed; everything was in its place.
I stood under the eve and looked around, remembering my daughter and my husband on the bed, watching TV together, while I folded laundry, smiling at them. I looked over at the connected bathroom and remembered Michael and I brushing our teeth together, I could imagine it so clearly: me smearing toothpaste on his check and laughing. As my eyes drifted back to the bed, I looked at Michael sitting on the bed with his legs dangling off the edge, waiting for me. He looked as real as everything else in the room. He was wearing the jeans he always wore on weekends and the sports shirt I got him for his birthday. I wanted to say something – anything – to tell him I loved him and I missed him. But no sound would come out of my mouth. My voice wasn’t working.
The room started to get white, the furniture started to disappear leaving only the bed visible. I blinked my eyes hoping that when I opened them, things would be the way they were, but the only thing different was that I was now able to walk. I didn’t hesitate. I went over to Michael and stood next to him, waiting for him to speak. But he just looked at me, tapping the seat next to him, motioning for me to sit down.
“Sit down, Trinity. I don’t have a lot of time.” He was demanding.
I slowly sat down, nervously. I wanted to tell him that I loved him but still nothing would come out of my mouth. I wanted to put my hand on his leg but my arms wouldn’t move. It was getting frustrating. I felt paralyzed.
“It’s okay. You’re not supposed to move or to speak. Just listen.”
I stopped trying to move and focused on what he had to say. His eyes told more than his lips. I knew he wanted to say he loved me and I knew he knew that I wanted to say it too.
“You know I love you and that I’ll always love you.”
I wanted to shake my head in agreement. But again I couldn’t move my head. Nothing was working! Please just let me say something.
“You’re a smart woman, Trinity. You’re vigorous and charismatic and warm. You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re strong and so much more powerful than you think. That’s what I fell in love with: your energy. I know you’re struggling; maybe that’s why I’m here. But the one thing I see is that you’re not giving all of yourself to this. You’re not surrendering yourself.”
I looked into his eyes. What could he be talking about? All I have done since this all began is to want to understand why it was happening and to do anything and everything I could to find out the truth.
“You need to stop and see all the beautiful things around you. You are blinded by anger and it’s preventing you from seeing the one thing that’s right in front of you that will help you.”
I was confused. What was he talking about? I just kept staring at him, trying to listen. I tried to give him all my attention but he was making it hard. He needed to start to make sense.
“It isn’t your life, anymore.” He looked at me. “I’m not in your life anymore. I didn’t want to believe it at first but I understand it now.”
How could he believe that? He would always be in my life, no matter what! How could he say these things to me?
“I know why I was brought into your life. I was there to help you grow into who you are today. Don’t be angry that Sierra and I had to die for you to be who you are. That’s just how things happen. People die everyday for reasons we don’t understand. All this… it was already planned before you where born. Having us die gives you the fuel you need to make it through the worst of it.”
I wanted to cry, remembering their deaths. But I kept my composure as I leaned towards him, I wanted to feel his touch; I wanted to feel his kiss just once more.
“He loves you, you know. It kills me to say that but it’s true. I never would have thought that there would be another man out there for you but again I was proved wrong. Move on, but move on with him.”
I looked over at him, I was wondering who he was talking about. Who could I love more than him? He moved his hand through the air and a picture formed. It was of Alex and me sleeping.
“Alexander. He loves you more than you would ever think possible. He’s your protector and your savior. His arms were meant to shelter you, Trinity, and his touch is there to fuel you. He was brought to you for a purpose: not just to help you, but to save you from yourself.”
I didn’t need saving; I needed my family. No wonder this was a dream. None of it made any sense, most of all, Michael.
“You need to look beyond your anger and you need to look behind your heart, and you’ll see him there, waiting, just as he’s always been. Let him in your soul; connect with him on a deeper level. Let him love you more than I could.”
I wanted to tell him that I couldn’t, that he was the only one I could love, but he knew what I was going to say before I could even think it.
“Trinity, I know you love me, but that’s what I’m here to tell you. You can’t hold on to me, or Sierra. It will drive you mad and you will lose your battle. I will hold on to your past. You need to give him your future.”
How could he even know that I was to have a future? Could he see me and Daniel’s battle? Did I have a future to look forward to?
“Stay with him, trust him, believe that he knows what’s right for you. He loved you the day you were born; he’s always been the one. What you two have will bond you both for eternity. You need to hold on to that.”
He looked away. “I can’t come back to you; I can’t help you anymore than I already have. He’s here now and he wants to help you and to receive your love.” He looked at me. “I love you, Trinity. Fight this war and win for your family…”
Once more he was fading away, not just from my dream, but from my life. I knew I would never see him again. I wanted to reach out to him, to hold him once more, but I still couldn’t move.
I sat on the edge of the bed, for how long I don’t know, thinking about what Michael had said. I would miss him; I would miss my life with him. But he was right: this was my life now and I needed to embrace it with everything I had. I needed to know that there was some other force out there that would fight with me, not against me, helping me.
But something was bothering me. Why hadn’t he told me about my fight with Daniel? He said I had a future but he didn’t elaborate. Every dream I had was to help me win my fight, not to help me fall in love! What was the significance? Why Alex and why now?
I was finally able to move. I stood up and turned to look at the bed, but it was fading away. A mist started to form and got very thick within minutes. All went black. I opened my eyes, and to my amazement it was still dark out. I turned to look at Alex but he was already gone?