I finally met my mother. After years of not knowing her, years of not knowing what she looked like, I finally had the opportunity to see her for myself. It was a wonderful dream – one I wish I had many years ago. Even though, just as she said, I might easily have dismissed it. At least now the image of my mother would be fresh in my mind at all times. It dawned on me that, because of my new life, I got the chance to meet my mother. So maybe it wasn’t as big of a curse as I thought.
As I started to wake up, I heard the muffled sound of the engine roaring and the wind blowing around us as we drove. I opened my eyes slowly and heard an oldie station on the car radio playing Jailhouse Rock. The windows were down, blowing my hair everywhere around my face. The sun was shining and it was a cloudless day.
I wished I hadn’t woken up. For the first time in my new life, I loved the dream I had. My Mother was more than anything I could have imagined. She was beautiful and kind, but most of all she truly did love me. And Alex was right: she never wanted this for me, and that gave me some kind of peace.
I wiped my eyes to see more clearly. I was still trying to collect all the thoughts that were still running through my mind. I looked over at Alex who had one arm on the open window and the other on the steering wheel. His hair was still back in a pony tail but his bangs that normally stretched down to the bottom of his chin were flying around in the breeze. He was mouthing the words to the song that was playing; I found it quite funny how a song could bring out the human in him.
As I stared at Alex, I suddenly remembered the last thing he said to me. “I drugged you.” Why would he want to drug me? How was that even possible? My heart didn’t beat! How could a chemical have any effect on me? I reached over to him and smacked his arm, causing him to swerve the car. The tires screeched against the road and our bodies swayed.
”You drugged me!!” I said in anger. I was unable to think until my brain had somewhat unscrambled itself.
I thought I heard a slight chuckle come out of his mouth but it was too faint to know for sure. I’m glad he thought it was amusing. Why would he do such a thing? What did he want to hide from me?
“I had to. I couldn’t let you see where we were going.” He returned his eyes to the road, his words flowing almost too quickly for me to understand.
“Yeah? And why’s that?” I brushed my hair away from my face. I was so mad!
“If Daniel still has a link on you, he can find us. It’s like his own personal GPS system.”
“You still could have told me.” I was still angry.
“Would you have drunk the champagne?” He questioned me.
I didn’t answer. I looked away, out the open window, trying to hide the smile on my face. Leave it to him to, again, answer a question with a question, knowing I was mad.
“Exactly,” he said, winning the argument. His face was unreadable as we continued to drive.
I didn’t usually mind when he won our arguments. His face was always so cute afterwards. But it was the fact that he had to use a drug on me to hide certain things.
“How could you even drug me? What drug could even possible work on me?” I asked in confusion.
He turned down the radio. “Any drug, any hallucinogen will still impair us. Just because our bodies are different doesn’t mean they don’t work. We still have blood that runs in our veins, and that’s what drugs need to work, not a heart.” He smiled.
We drove through some country I didn’t know. It had a beauty all its own. As we reached a town, it looked like some place out of an old Italian movie. Millions of cottage-style homes backed up against each other and shops on every corner. People were on the street trying to sell souvenirs. There were old men drinking really strong coffee, talking with each other in cafes while their women bought produce in the markets.
People were getting around by foot everywhere. There were only a few cars and several taxis. The area surrounding the village was made up of forested hills and a river valley with riverine forests. Had I come here on a vacation, I would be one of those people buying things and drinking coffee. I might have a picnic on one of the hills that overlooked the village. Maybe someday I will be able to experience all of that. But right now I can only watch as others enjoy themselves.
As we approached a dirt road, there were thousands of things to look at, millions of things to embrace. There were acres upon acres of grassy fields with uncountable wild flowers, sweet violets, yellow and brown velvety irises, daisies, and pink, white, and crimson anemones. The trees looked like they were about to burst into blossom.
I had my head out the window like a dog, trying to see everything clearly as we drove by. I told Alex many times to slow down so I could see better, but he refused. I thought he was more excited about getting where we were going than I was. I felt like a baby that just opened her eyes to a new and beautiful world.
We came to an abrupt stop. Handfuls of village workers were out trying to gather uncountable numbers of cows blocking our road. They signaled us to wait and Alex gave them a nod to say it’s all right. In the distance there was a range of snow-capped mountains and towering rocks.
“It’s beautiful – isn’t it?” Alex looked over at me while we were waiting for the cows to pass by. His smile matched the beauty of the scenery.
“It’s absolutely breathtaking, Alex.”
His lips curved up at the corners. “I thought you might like it here.”
“I’ve never been around so many beautiful things. It’s hard to take it all in at once.” I tried to put my thoughts into words.
Alex’ impatience reared its head and he stepped on the gas to rev the engine, hoping it would startle the cows into moving faster. I didn’t mind sitting there though. It was nice to sit in a place that was so old and beautiful, where things were so much easier; it took me away from the reasons I was there.
Finally, after several minutes that felt like hours, we began to move. We rounded a corner and then another, and with every turn there where new and wonderful things to see. I didn’t want the drive to stop. But the car came to a final stop and Alex turned off the engine. He opened his car door waiting for me to do the same. I could only look around, wondering where we were.
I finally opened my car door and got out slowly, listening to every sound around me. We were alongside a dirt track that looped upwards from the road, too small for a car to access. I looked up. The height of what I could only assume I would be climbing was beyond anything I could have imagined. This was something out of a dream and Alex was making it a reality for me.
I stared up in amazement. In the shadows of the mountains that surrounded us were massive grey pinnacles that looked like smooth vertical rocks rising towards the sky. At our feet was a rocky path that led upward to rough hewn stone steps.
Alex broke my concentration. “It’s called The Monastery of the Holy Trinity,” he said.
I looked over at him in disbelief. “There’s a monastery up there?” I said, pointing towards the sky.
“Yes.” He broke into a laugh. “It’s on top of the cliffs. It was built in 1475. That’s what everyone is talking about when they say, ‘where it’s written.’There’s a book that was transferred to that monastery some time in the ‘20s for protection.” He motioned for me to start walking.
“You must be joking.”
“You see, your name was given to you partially because of that church. It’s so that you’d always know where to go for answers or for hope.”
“For hope? I don’t understand.”
“You will.” He laughed.
As we walked, the rocks were covered with green shrubs and tall trees, and the flowers marked our path. We didn’t talk as we climbed up the rough mountain, but the beautiful scenery kept my mind wondering. My family walked this path. I was finally in a place where I could feel my family’s presence. I felt connected somehow, like I belonged here. Like I was meant to walk this path.
We finally made it up the 140 steps to the monastery. (In our silence, I counted.) As I gazed upon it, it looked like an old mansion. It was three stories tall and made out of stone and brick with parts covered in stucco. It had an orange tile roof and a lookout tower with a bell inside it. A brick wall circled the whole the area.
Alex walked up to the double gates and knocked three times, then paused and knocked once more. I looked at him, and again he seemed to know what I was thinking before I had a chance to say anything.
“It’s a code. They won’t open the gates for just anybody.” His eyes shone.
“How very secretive.” I winked at him.
A code. That could only mean that they were either hiding something that was so important that it was only meant for a few people’s eyes … or they were very private people. Either way, these doors were the gateway to my answers and whatever happened once they were opened was just for me.
The gates opened slowly. We walked through, past a large area of rock circling a chapel, and past a bank of bells and rows and rows of beautifully colored flowers with grass, trees and shrubbery. I couldn’t be scared in such a beautiful place, though if I had a heart that could beat it would have been going miles a minute. My eyes widened as I looked around. Alex stole a glance at me and I could see from the corner of my eye that he was smiling.
As we walked through the two massive wooden doors, the inside walls were made of stone and every couple of feet were stone pillars. There were tiles and rocks constructed of beautiful roughly-hewn wood. It looked like a medieval castle. The walls and ceilings were painted with religious scenes; there was not one inch left empty.
As I walked around, all my worries and doubts had somehow vanished. It made me think that, one day long ago, my family stood in the very place I was standing, hoping and waiting for the time that I would be there too. They knew that when the day came, all their efforts would not be for nothing.
We were met by two monks dressed in orange robes. They stood a lot shorter than we did and they had no hair on their heads. They walked quickly but with short strides. It reminded me of a comedy that I watched not very long ago. I really wanted to laugh but I knew it wasn’t the time.
“We’ve been waiting for you, Trinity. My name is Abbott and this is Bardo. Welcome.” His hands were folded as if he were praying. His voice was low and reassuring. He reminded me of the nerd from high school that followed me around everyday waiting to talk to me.
He walked past us and motioned us to follow. We walked down the long hallway, and as we did my only thoughts were of my child, my Sierra. She always loved religion and anything that had to do with crosses. She would have come here and studied every painting, every cross, and every line and would have tried to recreate it in her own image.
Abbott led us to two massive wooden doors; he told us that they were the doors to his chamber. I wondered what I needed to learn in there. When he opened the doors, a gust of wind came out as if the room hadn’t been opened in years. I walked through and looked around; there was nothing out of the ordinary. It looked just like an office. There was a couch in the corner, a big red rug in the center and what looked to be an eighteenth century wooden desk by the window overlooking the garden outside.
I wanted to ask questions before I even sat down. Who was my family? Did they have any fear when they were here? What did they look like? How did they fight? My mind was racing with unanswered questions. But Alex motioned for me to keep silent.
We sat down in the chairs in front of his desk, waiting impatiently for him to speak. He sat in silence for minutes, staring at Alex, maybe waiting for him to start. I stared at my hands, twisting and untwisting my fingers as I waited for somebody to break the silence. My nerves were getting the best of me. I shifted my weight in my chair trying my hardest not to say anything. I wanted to scream with everything I had inside of me. SOMEBODY PLEASE SAY SOMETHING! TELL ME WHAT I CAME SO FAR TO LEARN! But still it was silent.
Alex looked over at Abbott and gave him a nod. Abbott leaned over and opened a locked drawer, pulling out a book. It was deep red in color, long and very thick. It looked very old; I could see the pages were crinkled and worn.
I started biting my nails again, a habit I picked up from Sierra when she was young. That was her clue that she was nervous and needed me to comfort her. But now who was here to comfort me?
He turned the book around to show the cover. As I peered up, my eyes narrowed on the symbol etched in the middle of the cover. It was Daniel’s crest and it looked like it was made of pure gold. The snakes that twisted through the crown were unmistakable. I couldn’t hold my silence any longer; my rage was burning in my veins and my heart wanted to jump out my chest. Why would I come so far to learn about Daniel? I was here to learn about me and my family – not Daniel and his family!
I stood up abruptly showing an unpredictable mood. Alex almost jumped out of his seat. He knew I was upset and I’m sure he knew why. “What does Daniel’s book, his history, have anything to do with me!?” I shouted, my voice almost trembling the ground beneath me. “I traveled all this way for this!”
Abbott stood up from his chair. “Please let me explain…”
I interrupted him. “You better do it and fast because I’m about to walk out of here!”
He gestured for me to sit down, his eyes gentle but intense. Then his voice disrupted my tantrum. “Trinity, you have to start to understand that this is not only Daniel’s book or Daniel’s life. This is and always has been about your life too. He is a part of you just as much as you are of him.”
I took my eyes off of him; I couldn’t stare at the person that would say such a thing to me. And how dare Alex take me to a place that wanted me to believe that Daniel was my blood.
“I don’t have to listen to this!” I yelled.
“Trinity!” Alex yelled. “Sit down!” His voice was intense.
I let out a sigh. “Fine.”
Abbott smiled. “Now take this book and read it. Study it. I will be here to answer your questions if you have any. But only come to me after you’ve completed it.” He lifted up his head. “Now, Bardo will show you to your chamber.”
I blinked and just like that he was gone. He had somehow magically disappeared. Alex stood up and took the book off of the table, holding it tightly. He waited for me to walk in front of him or look at him but I didn’t want to look at him, not even his beauty would put my mind at ease.
Bardo was already at the door waiting impatiently for us to follow. He led us down a long stone hallway until we reached two wooden French doors. He opened the doors, bowed to us and walked away. They don’t stay around long, do they?
Alex opened the doors wider and had to push me through. The room was even more beautiful than the monastery itself. It was colored in pinks, whites, and purple, with fresh lilacs and tulips everywhere. There was a green couch under the window and a white rocking chair in the corner. In the middle of the room was the bed. It was a four post king bed with lace trickling down to the floor.
I walked in slowly, looking around. This was exactly how my room was set up. Michael always tried to have fresh flowers for me in the morning. That’s what drew me to him in the beginning. He brought me tulips for every date we went on. Did they do this on purpose? How could they know how my room looked? Did they want me to think about Michael? No, I couldn’t think about him now. He was gone and I was all that was left out of my family, from either side. I had to somehow get him and everyone else out of my mind. But honestly, I would rather think about them than think that Daniel came from the same bloodline.
I walked over to the couch to sit down. I sat up straight and crossed my legs as a child would do on the floor. I waited for Alex to bring me the book. I was dreading reading anything that had to do with Daniel and his past. But Abbott had to know what he was talking about, right? Was Daniel really a part of me somehow?
Alex paused before handing me the book. “Whatever you read, Trinity, know that you’re different than Daniel – okay?”
He must have known what was in the book. Had he read these pages? Why couldn’t he just tell me so I didn’t have to read it? My mind was swirling dizzily, full of thoughts and images of things that could be in that book. Things that I might not understand and some I might have to fight to repress.
“Okay.” I tired to keep my voice composed so he couldn’t hear how frightened I really was. If he did he might not let me read from it.
He handed me the book apprehensively. His hands were shaking. He waited. Only when I opened to the first page did he finally sit. He put his hands on his knees and sat quietly but hesitantly.
I was nervous as I read the first page. The handwriting was very small and feminine, but very legible. I didn’t know when was the last time the book was opened but I felt privileged to be the one to read it today.
Journal Entry 1701,
My time here grows short. I feel them coming for me. I feel them in my veins and hear them in my thoughts. The voices are unbearable. I know they’re coming to destroy me. It’s amusing how a feeling, how one tiny image, can bring so much insight. I did not do what was expected of me. I ran away from my heritage. I burned the bridges of my past with every step I’ve taken, and that is punishable by death.
I need to leave my legacy. I need to leave the story of my past in words for her to read. She needs to know where she comes from, as much as it might pain her. She needs to know why it is she that will stop them both. She needs to know why I couldn’t stop this. I feel that this book will help her on her journey.
My name is Ismenia.
I’ve walked this earth since almost the beginning of time. Before Man knew who he truly was and before we knew the meaning of right and wrong. I did not ask for this life, as it has been given to me, nor did I get to decide to become what I am. It was handed to me like an unwanted gift that can never be returned.
For countless years, I tried running from my Author but she and her army were always there to find me. Every corner I turned and every new city I entered I found somebody new waiting for me. Somebody they’ve trained better and somebody that knows more. It is like the plague: you can never run from it, you can only find and kill its source.
You see, throughout our many kingdoms and throughout those still-existing legends, she lives in many forms. She is known by numerous names. She is but a creature lurking in the darkness, crawling and leaching off of others. While the names of this creature vary, she and her many children’s motivations are all the same: they live to feed off the living and will die if they cannot.
The name that I have come to know her by is Lilith.
I looked up for a brief moment.
“Lilith.” Not realizing it, I said her name out loud. Alex looked down and placed his hand on my folded knee, pressing for me to continue. His eyes told me that it might be hard but that it would be okay. Regardless of what I read, I was now intrigued. Her words were sincere and she started this book for me so I had to continue. I brushed my hair away from my face, shifted my position and read on.
In the beginning when God created Adam it was not Eve who came next, as the good book would like us to believe. It was Lilith who would be Adam’s first wife, and like Adam, she was taken from the earth. They lived many years together and bore many children. Some would say, as it looked that way from the outside, everything was as it was supposed to be and as God intended.
But as time went on, Lilith grew to understand that she had her own mind and her own abilities, and as a result, a dispute arose between them. She refused to be submissive. You see, she considered herself equal to Adam, as they were made the same. She didn’t want to live only for him and his children, but instead she wanted them to bow to her.
God saw Lilith’s indifference and couldn’t let it continue. The matter was brought before the Judges and the case was held secretly behind closed doors. Lilith grew angry because they turned on her and, after pronouncing the unspeakable name of our magical God, she flew off into the air. She was then banished from God’s presence to the demon realm and took refuge by the Red Sea to be damned for eternity.
Well, because of Lilith and her demon ways, God destroyed all of the children she made with Adam and she answered this violent act with a vow to feed off the children of Adam and his new wife, Eve.
Afterwards, she stayed at the Red Sea for many years, hunting and tormenting people all over the country, most of them in small villages, coming to them in their dreams. Some were not able to wake up. Those that did went insane and eventually committed suicide.
And so it was, until one day Lilith made a pact with Lucifer, the one who would be known as the Devil himself. He saw her and knew how wicked she truly was. He fed off of her evil as he needed it for his plan to work. He would give her two children to bear: a boy to be named Daniel and a girl to be named Ismenia.
These two children would grow to carry on her demon ways and eventually would rule the realm and one day cast out all of human existence. But it would not begin until they each bore children of their own. Lucifer wanted the bloodline to carry on.
So Daniel and I grew into adults. After our children were born, Lilith, my mother, changed Daniel and me into what we are today: vampires.
When we were strong enough, the Devil gave us astonishing power, power that we would be able to pass down to our children with one simple bite and blood transfer. These powers would not be able to be destroyed by humans and no vampire outside of our bloodline would be able to carry them. Or so Daniel thought. But in my time here on earth, I have learned differently.
We were taught that we could tell by the color of another vampire’s eyes when he was about to attack us: they will turn to an empty black. We would know any mortal or immortal strengths and weaknesses by concentrating on their thoughts; it would also assist us in our attack. The sun gave us strength and power while the stars rendered us weak, leaving us time to sleep. No other vampire outside our bloodline would need that time for rest, so it might prove to be harmful.
We can run with great speed and hear over great distances, but our greatest advantage is the acid we store in our fangs. Once we learned to control it, we could use it to carry out our mission.
Daniel and I did what we were told: we killed and bred for many years. It was a lot of fun for Daniel. He brought the heads of his victims to Lilith as trophies. She was always so proud of him and considered him her favorite.
But after a time the power became too strong for Daniel. He wanted to be more than a servant to the Devil. He started fathering vampires outside our bloodline without passing on his powers. In turn, they produced other vampires: weaker vampires.
I learned that Daniel wanted his own army, one that he could rule over, one that he could command, like a king. I tried to forget about it and I ruled with him for a few more years until I saw what consequences our actions truly reaped. Too many families and too many children were dying for no reason except to satisfy Daniel’s need to kill. My once-icy heart was turning. I couldn’t stand Daniel’s reasoning for his injustice. I could not sit back and watch what he was doing any longer.
So one night when the moon was hidden behind clouds, I walked away. I turned my back on my kind and I vanished. I came here and have been here ever since. But my and Daniel’s mind are bound by our common blood. If he has any sense of where I am, he can put himself there with me. He can and always will find me.
Thankfully, I learned that there will be an end to all this madness. One night, when I was at my worst, God spoke to me. I wanted to be free and give up. I wanted to take my fall and go to heaven. God sheltered me in His arms that night and gave me forgiveness. He told me he would give me a child, through my bloodline, who will be named Trinity. She will be from my blood and He will give her enough power and strength to destroy both Daniel and Lilith.
But my descendants and I needed to wait for the right time. It may not happen tomorrow or a year from now, but it will happen. God said he wanted to wait for Daniel’s army to be strong but at its most vulnerable. So now I must wait, for time will bring her to us. It’s amazing to me that my daughter’s children will bring this child to us. My kind depends on her for survival so we will protect her even after our deaths.
In these pages, I will write the name of every child that passes through me and through them until my untimely death. Trinity must know the names of all the men and woman who have fought for her birth. I feel in my soul that it will help her on her journey.
We will prevail. In time, the human race will be saved, and immortals and mortals of all kinds might be able to live freely together. That is my one wish, my one prayer. I believe that if all of us band together as one, we will have the power to take on and defeat Lilith, Daniel and his army.
As long as we work together in this fight, bring Trinity into this world and keep her safe, we will survive.
Trinity will be our savior.
I slammed the book closed. I couldn’t read any further; it was as hard as I feared reading every word. Alex smiled, holding my glance. He was trying to lift me out of my sudden depression. Usually his kind eyes would do the trick, but not this time. It was too much for me to take in and understand, knowing that all this lay on my shoulders, on my ability to fight Daniel and his army. All I knew was I had to fight the one vampire who was feared by all vampires. Up until now, he’s been unstoppable.
Unstoppable. And I’m the one that’s supposed to stop him…
I guess I’m supposed to remember that all these people in my family died so that I could do this. They counted on me! How can I fight with all these thoughts inside my mind like a ticking bomb waiting to explode?
Alex reached out to hold me but his touch was not what I wanted. I wanted a better answer, maybe even a better past. I wanted to know that it wasn’t me that had to carry this weight. Why couldn’t it be someone else?
I threw the book down in anger and stood up.
“How in the hell can I be related to HIM!?”
“What?” Alex questioned in surprise.
I started pacing. “How can this family have all this hope in me? We are supposed to fight together but there’s nobody left but me. I thought this book was going to answer my questions!”
“But…” Alex began.
I stopped and looked at Alex; my voice was now low and shaky. “I’m a part of the Devil!”
I dropped to my knees, slamming down so hard on the ground that the wooden floor shook. Alex got up and rushed over to my side, sliding to the ground to hold me. He wrapped his arms around me to cradle me, rocking me back and forth.
“You’re not a part of the Devil, Trinity. Ismenia made sure to rid herself of that. You’re so much more; you’re good in every sense of the word. You read yourself that God gave you to us. He created you pure and good.” His voice was guarded but warm.
I put my hands over my face to shield the pain, but Alex knew what to do and how to calm me. He moved my hands and brushed away my hair from my face. He brought his hands around my body and lifted me up in both his arms to carry me to the bed.
Night had fallen upon us without our realizing it. Stars couldn’t be seen through the windows, only the faint yellow light from the moon. The bed was soft and as I rolled over to my side I could feel my body being cushioned by the padded mattress underneath me. As I relaxed deeply in comfort my head sank into the pillow. I could hardly feel Alex lay down next to me. I was exhausted from my journey and even more so from reading. He turned off the light and wrapped his arms around me.
There were bright flashing white lights going off all around me. There was a dark hallway in front of me that didn’t seem to end. The walls were black and closing in on me as I walked. My veins where throbbing and pulsing; I could smell blood. I looked slowly up at the ceiling and saw blood dripping down and sliding off the walls. But I remained untouched.
I could hear the faint sound of laughter coming from all sides of me. It gave me a chill that ran down my spine and through my nerves. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from but it seemed to be getting closer. I looked in front of me than in back and still I saw nothing. The blood was dripping more heavily now.
My hands started shaking and I was getting scared. I started to run as fast as I could; I looked behind me every chance I had. Was there anyone behind me? What was I doing here, in this place? Who wanted to see me, who needed to talk to me this time?
All of a sudden, a face started floating towards me. It had no body, no hands, and no feet but it was swaying from side to side as if it were attached to a rope. I stopped running, scared of what it might do to me. Will it get closer? Will it go through me? It disappeared before I could see who it was.
I ran the other direction, but either way it seemed the same. There were no doors to open, no turns to make, and no end. I was just going forward and backward, but nothing was changing. Please somebody get me out of this nightmare!
Now the laughter was bloodcurdling. The blood was dripping faster and thicker, and it was rising up from the ground. It was getting harder to run; the blood was already to my ankles.
The face flashed right in front of me, stopping me dead in my tracks. I fell back on the ground and now I was covered from head to toe in blood. The smell of burning metal was everywhere. The face appeared again only a few inches from me. It was Lilith, her eyes black and cold.
There was nothing I could do but sit there and wait for this dream to end. In the back of my mind I knew all she wanted to do was scare me. And she was succeeding, but I couldn’t let her know that. I had to act strong even if I didn’t feel strong.
She smiled at me, a sick and sadistic smile that sent chills down my spine and made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Her face was white, her eyes were outlined in black and her hair wasn’t the strawberry blonde that it was in the last dream I had of her. It was black. She looked like pure Evil. I understood why people who woke up from dreams of Lilith would commit suicide: I would never get her face out of my head.
The apparition backed away slowly, laughing at me. Then suddenly it came toward me faster than ever and floated right through me. I put my arms in front of my face to try and shield myself from whatever she was about to do. But, just like that, she was gone.
I got up and looked around but nothing was there. The blood stopped dripping and the noise had faded away. I was alone but I didn’t know for how long. Something inside me knew that it wasn’t over.
I turned around to walk away, hoping this time I would actually get somewhere. Something inside me told me to turn around again. As I turned half way around, I saw Lilith’s whole body glide toward me but her legs were not moving. She was coming at me with her arms out to grab me. I started running but my legs couldn’t move. I wanted to scream but my voice wasn’t working either…
I woke up.