I had never been so afraid from a single dream before that night. All the other dreams I’ve had were nothing compared to that one. You really don’t know what kind of person you are until you’re alone and something that frightening is coming toward you and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You are more than powerless – you are controlled by it. Before the dream, she was a malevolent kind of beautiful, – yeah, the image might stick with me but that would be that. This time, she was more than malevolent. She was fiendish and monstrous and her image would hunt me for eternity.
I abruptly lunged forward in shock. I was shaking in horror. I almost had to pinch myself to make sure I was awake. I had to assure myself that it was just a dream and I was safe again. But could the likeness of a dream actually affect my reality? It was real to me – maybe too real to dismiss as just a dream.
It was still nighttime. The wind was blowing the curtains into the room and the wind chimes were making calming music. Alex was already at my side sitting up in bed with his arms around me.
“Trinity, what is it!?” His voice was urgent. He was rubbing my shoulder.
My mind was confused and my body was paralyzed with fear. I couldn’t still my thoughts; the room was spinning. I put my hands up over my face. I was finished. I couldn’t handle all the things that wanted to hurt me in the dream world and in the ‘real’ world.
“Alex, I can’t take these dreams any longer!” I tried hard to cry but no tears were coming out. It seemed like weeks since I’d been able to cry and it wasn’t by choice. It felt like ever since my… change, every day that passed, it became that much harder to shed even one tear.
“What was your dream about?” he asked, leaning closer to me and placing his hand on my knee.
I looked at him. Even after being jerked from sleep, he was still handsome. His hair was down, shielding part of his face. He wrapped me in the velvet of his voice.
I didn’t want to remember all the things that came to me in my dream, but it was still so clear. How ugly Lilith was, how awfully scared she made me. And now he wanted me to put into words all I had seen and all I had heard.
The words came out slowly. “It was Lilith’s face, but it wasn’t just that, it was the laughter in her voice, and it was the image of her coming toward me. There was blood everywhere.” My voice was strained and I knew he could tell I was still incredibly scared.
I told him all that happened, thinking he could give me some reason why this was happening to me. But he gave me no answers, no reasons. He offered no guidance and no solutions. He just sat there and listened to every word I said.
My mind was beginning to weaken. All the thoughts and images were just too much for me to take. “I would just like one night of peace… ya know? Not having to worry about who wants to kill me or who’s going to visit me in my dreams. Just one night to relax and put all these things aside. Maybe attempt to be normal.”
I pushed his hand off of my knee and stood up. I paced back and forth on the wooden floor letting myself say what I really meant. The words just flowed out. I don’t even think I cared which ones. I didn’t care how rude or cynical I sounded. He needed to know exactly how I was feeling and how all this was affecting me. He needed to know that this might affect the outcome of this battle.
“I’m truly scared, Alex. I don’t know how to feel or what to think anymore. It’s like they’re ruling my thoughts,” I said breathlessly. I stopped pacing at the foot of the bed and stared at Alex.
He got up and walked over to me. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of jeans. My eyes narrowed on his perfectly sculpted chest. He could have been a model walking toward me. It was hard to keep myself focused. I was losing my train of thought and all my fears were somehow disappearing just because he was standing next to me, touching me, holding me. Maybe this was his way of coping with it. Did he know how his presence affected me? Did he know that his staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes made everything better?
He reached up and cupped my face; his hands were strong but gentle on my cheeks. I closed my eyes and grabbed his hands. “You’re going to be alright, Trinity,” he said. “I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you. You know that, right?”
For a second I had forgotten what had me so scared. The touch of his hands felt like they were taking away everything. His eyes where fixed on mine. It felt like he was staring straight into my soul, calming me with every blink. I let out a sigh. “I…” I tried to speak.
“As long as we’re together we’ll be okay. Hey.” He made our eyes meet. “We have each other, right?”
“But what if that’s not enough, Alex!?” I pushed him away from me, maybe a little too hard. I didn’t mean to be so insolent. Having somebody at your side, yeah, that helps, but it doesn’t solve everything. It doesn’t take away the fact that there was still somebody out there that wanted a complete stranger (me) dead.
“I’m supposed to be this savior with all this power and all this strength, scared of nothing. But even my dreams frighten me. What does that say about ‘God’s gift to humanity’? I’ve never felt so powerless.” I walked away from him. Powerless was right. How could I defeat a man who is doing nothing but causing things to come to me in my dreams, enough to scare the hell out of me??
“They’re trying to hunt you. They’re trying to push you to your breaking point. It’s their way of weakening you, don’t you see that? Can’t you feel it in your bones?” His words burned their way into my veins.
I turned to look at him, my heart filled with sorrow. “I feel like I’m already at my breaking point, Alex. Don’t you see that? I don’t know Daniel! So how can I know if I can defeat him?”
Alex sat on the footboard of the bed, folding his hands in his lap. He let out a strong sigh. “Trinity, I’ve watched you since the day you were born.”
I cut him off. “Yeah. And that isn’t creepy.” I said sarcastically.
“Can I finish?” He asked.
“There were so many pictures of you and they would constantly flash in my mind at different stages of my existence. Sometimes they helped me along the way. I’ve seen you grow and mature. I’ve seen you as a mother and I see you now. You’re a different person now. So much stronger than you could possible imagine.
“I watched you fight that day. Mary, I mean. I tried to keep my distance. I wanted to see you in action, so to speak.”
I took a step closer to him. “What?” I whispered.
“I watched the way your body moved. I watched how you let the rage overtake your skills.” He let out a faint laugh. “I must admit… it was hard to keep my eyes off of you.”
My legs felt shaky, listening to him. I didn’t want to do anything that would prevent him from continuing. His voice was tender and sincere.
“You’re a different woman now, especially when you fight. You don’t see your fears, you’re not blinded by the horror that you feel right now, you don’t see anything around you but what’s in front of you.”
“Do you know what I was thinking about when I killed her?” I asked.
His unnerving eyes looked up at me curiously. He shook his head slowly. “No.”
“I was thinking of my mother and of everything Mary stole from me. I was thinking that I could hurt this woman so bad and make it last, so she could feel even an ounce of what I felt.”
I walked towards the window and looked out into the garden. The flowers swayed with the breeze and giftedus with their sweet smell. The grass was calm but wet from the sprinklers. I longed to be one of those flowers, just planted and forgotten about. Having no worries of murder or hunting. The only job I would have is to grow and look beautiful.
But my mind jumped back to reality when the tower bell rang, startling me a little. It was announcing the time. Time: that was all I had that was routine. Everything else was a surprise waiting to scare me.
I kept staring out the window, saying the only thing that came to mind. “I’m alone in all this…” My voice trailed off. I crossed my arms and closed my eyes.
Alex got up abruptly and almost ran toward me. I hardly knew he was coming until he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around angrily. “Trinity, have you been listening to me? Has everything I said meant nothing to you?”
I looked at him confused. He was almost screaming; his voice was no longer tender. What did I say that upset him so much? I was alone and he didn’t understand how much of the world was on my shoulders.
“What are you talking about, Alex? You’re scaring me!”
“Why is it so hard for you to see what’s right in front of you! I’m here! I’m not going anywhere! I’m right here!!! You’re not alone.”
“Look, I know you feel the weight of the world, but you don’t have to carry it on your shoulders alone. I want to help. You just have to let me.”
I remembered one of the last things Michael told me before he disappeared out of my dream. He told me that I needed to let my walls down and let Alex love me. Maybe he was right. Maybe love was the answer. But how could something as simple as love aid me in anything?
Alex grabbed both sides of my face and pulled me closer to him. Our eyes met and everything that was around us just seemed to vanish. It felt like there was nothing but gold and white surrounding us. I almost felt human again. I felt warm.
“I may not be Michael, but I’ve been here your whole life and I can guarantee you that my love burns deeper for you, more than any man that will come into your life. I have waited years for this moment, years of waiting in the shadows for you, and I’m not going to let you go!”
I paused for a moment and held my breath. I couldn’t move my mouth or utter word. All I could do was to stare into his eyes.
He leaned his head down and pulled my face slowly up to his, waiting for me to pull away. But I wanted to surrender to him; I wanted to melt into his arms. He pulled my face up until our lips reached each other’s. His kiss was slow and tender; I’ve never felt anything quite like it. It felt like this kiss was meant to happen a long time ago. I yielded to the soft strength of his kiss while he engulfed me. My blood was racing and I had flutters in my stomach.
We stopped kissing for a brief moment but it was a moment too long. I needed more of him. We stared at each other and smiled and it was then that I knew right away what Michael had meant. Alex was more than my protector or my companion. He was supposed to be my greatest lover.
I wrapped my hands around his neck while he slid his arms down around my waist, holding me against him. We were creating warmth with each other when there shouldn’t have been any. The touch of his skin was perfectly solid and when he touched mine it gave me goose bumps.
His lips were not nervous, but passionate. He kissed me slowly and sensually making sure I wouldn’t have a chance to pull away. But I didn’t want to. This moment felt right. There was no doubt in my mind, no more confusion about who I wanted to be with. We belonged together.
Without warning, his strong hands reached aroundand moved down along my nervous waist. He lifted me up into his arms and without breaking our kiss we virtually floated over to the bed. He laid me down gently, brushing my hair away from my face. He looked at me and smiled warmly. His eyes were deep and focused only on me. In that moment, with him staring into my soul, my body relaxed, and I knew not even time would break us apart.
Once he was on top of me, he leaned in closer and traced my neck with his mouth; I could only hold my breath and close my eyes. His lips were not firm but still felt passionate. With every kiss he left evidence of his breath. I wanted to tell him not to stop, that I loved every minute that his lips were on me. But I let him control me, he was now the man that would dominate me in these moments and I embraced it.
I moved my hands down to the small of his shirtless back and ran my nail upward, breaking enough skin that he started to breath heavily. I twisted my body onto his, breaking our kiss for a brief moment. I couldn’t stand it any longer. My emotions began to take over my body and soul. I needed him completely. I ran my fingers down his chest to the top of his jeans and slowly unbuttoned them. His breathing got heavy.
He reached for my arms, locking his hands on my wrists and pulled them above my head. I didn’t stop him, but allowed him to take complete control. He broke long enough to pull my shirt slowly off, throwing it on the floor. I didn’t feel anxious about my naked body; I knew he was begging from the inside of his soul for only me.
I felt the cool touch of his fingers caress my abdomen and then move slowly to my rib cage. Then, out of nowhere, I got butterflies in my stomach. His touch was too much to bear. There was too much excitement running through my veins, too much passion to endure. I kept my eyes on his, and his were on mine. We never broke contact. He ran his hands through my hair, cupped my head and kissed me hard. His lips were no longer gentle. Now he moved them powerfully. My body trembled.
He brought his lips to my ear, kissing it softly. “I love you, Trinity,” he whispered, his voice tender. I could only moan.
The words didn’t make me want to stop as I thought they would. I just wanted to continue to the very end. I couldn’t deny my feelings for him any longer and I began to melt into him. I paused for a moment and it was right then that I realized that I loved him too. I love him for all he had done and everything he would do for me.
“I love you too,” I whispered back.
We melted into our words, into each others touch, and into one another’s embrace. I knew I was falling in love with him, and I knew I would love him even after death.
I lay in his arms for a while pretending to sleep, hoping I wouldn’t wake him. I loved the feeling I had just being next to him. I was protected and secure. I started thinking about how I got where I was. I thought of everything that led me to his embrace. The sorrows I went through in childhood – and the triumphs that led me to adulthood. He was there, unseen in the shadows, watching over me, loving me….
My thoughts trailed off. I thought of Ismenia, poor Ismenia, and all that she sacrificed and endured… for me. Hoping that God would fulfill his bargain with her. Did she ever know that her prayers would come true? Is that what drove her? I wonder what she thought about me. Did she know how scared I would be? Did she think I would come out kicking and fighting? Did she foresee me lying in my protector’s arms? How did she die? What did she have to withstand? Was it all worth it to her? Would I even fulfill this made-up prophecy?
I quietly got up, trying hard not to disturb Alex. I slipped on his shirt and walked over to where I had slammed the book down by the couch. I sat down on the floor and flipped through the endless entries in book, until I found the last one. I wanted to read what the last person wrote, how they felt, where they were. Were they scared like I was?
Journal Entry May 5, 1920
My name is Samantha. I am a descendent of Ismenia. Although I am not as old or even as wise as she was, she has entrusted the survival of this book only to me. I have been sworn to secrecy. I am to guard these words with everything I have, for one day it will be given to Trinity, and this book will be her teacher.
This will be the last entry in this book, for I will leave it here at the Holy Trinity for safekeeping. On my life’s journey, I can no longer keep it safe, not with all who are after me. The times we live in now are getting harder than when the book first came into my possession. Back then things were easier and the world was bigger. Now the walls are closing in on me. They’re everywhere, hiding in the shadows, lurking, waiting for their chance to find us. I am running out of safe places to hide and I can no longer endanger the people around me.
I have kept a good distance from them these past few weeks but I know the gap will grow shorter with every night I sleep. I don’t have many alliances to protect me and my family. They are all too scared of him. Daniel has become so much smarter than any vampire could have predicted and Lilith has made more vampire warriors to fight for her.
Lilith already found Ismenia hiding underground in England. I’m not sure what Lilith did or how she killed her but her bodiless head was found not far from Pendle Hill, under green shrubbery. Who would have thought that while in hiding she was waiting for her own destruction. I was saddened when I heard of Ismenia’s death. She was our leader. She was the one who gave us the courage and strength to push forward when we were kicked down. She gave us hope when all was lost, and the love we knew we needed. But now that burden has fallen upon me. I hope that I am as strong as she was.
I feel deep within me that it will be my fate to. Death I mean. I cannot bear the thought of what happened to her. And now I’ve learned that Daniel is not far behind my family and me. He knows I have the book and somehow he knows the truths that are in it and he knows my daughter is about to give birth to another of Ismenia’s descendents. He is so full of hatred and rage that there will be no stopping him.
As these days go on, it seems like all that we’ve known and hoped for – believing that the birth of Trinity will save us – is becoming just a myth, something to help us sleep at night. Her birth just gets further and further away. I know Trinity will not be the child my daughter gives birth to. But then who? And when? I’m tired of waiting. We’ve sat by for centuries and we’ve waited for this miracle to shine upon us and still we have nothing but dark and cold places to hide. And we watch as more of our loved ones die. I wonder if God knew what he was doing when he created this prophecy. Could he even understand the loss we would feel in this waiting game?
Sometimes it gets so very hard to just sit by and watch those we love die for nothing but power, when those lives could be spared. I want to scream out loud, ‘We give up!’ but there’s no one who would listen. There’s no one who would take pity on our souls. Daniel would see that as a weakness and everybody would surely die. This is not what God intended for us, is it?
I wish – harder than I’ve ever prayed – for all this madness to end. When will God listen? When will we be saved? What is the point of all this running and hiding if we’re just doomed to die anyway? God said that when the world was at its end Jesus would rise again. Is that what we’re waiting for? Will he come with Trinity by his side?
I looked up from reading, I knew exactly what she was feeling. I felt her hopelessness and despair in the pit of my stomach. I felt her desperation pulsating out of the words that I read. She knew more loss than I had ever seen in my lifetime and I could tell that she was at her end.
I looked over at Alex sleeping so soundlessly in our bed. He looked so peaceful as if he didn’t have a care in the world. I wanted to be him. He wanted to be the one who would take all this hurt away from my heart. He was going to be the one who stayed with me to whatever end awaited us. He had sacrificed so much already for my family, now he has surrendered what little was left for me, just as Samantha did.
I let my gaze drop down to the book and continued reading.
I am leaving the monastery tonight. I have already put these kind monks into too much danger. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if any of them got hurt because of me or my family. They have taken in a lost soul and have given me new-found hope so I can push forward and continue my battle.
I will be taking my daughter and her husband to the States for the birth of their daughter. After the birth, I will change my daughter and her husband into what we are: vampires. It’s the only way I can protect them against the evil that may await us.
I hope America brings a new beginning for this family, one filled with hope, peaceful dreams, and love. Hope is all we have now. I will pray every day that the legends are true, and that one day God will give Trinity to us, that she will be born into this family to fulfill the prophecy and bring safety us all.
For now we run and we hide, but I vow I will never give up hope. I will never give up believing and I will never give up trying. The monks have taught me that a great deal. I will go on protecting the prophecy for as long as I can.
I closed the book slowly and placed it on my lap. My mind was dizzy with thoughts swirling in my head. I was actually happy I read the last entry. Even knowing her own fate, Samantha held strong and fought – for me – for somebody she didn’t even know. If I hadn’t read that entry, I don’t think I would be able to continue on this path. I was feeling so helpless, but by reading how scared she was and how she didn’t let it bring her down, I thought maybe I could do the same.
Samantha had faith that I would stop this ongoing violence and that I would bring serenity to our world. Maybe even find compromise with the human world. She held on to that hope while passing it down to future generations, so that maybe one day it would be told to me. They all believed in me; now I had to start believing in myself. I needed to believe that I have all it takes to survive this war and maybe what it takes to bring peace.
I had to let the people who stood for me, stay with me in mind and in spirit. I needed to let them know that I believed in them as much as they believed in me. I needed to stop trying to shield them away from the upcoming war. They knew what the consequences of their help meant. They knew that they would certainly die and they didn’t care. They had more honor and righteousness than any immortal Gods that walked this earth.
This was my life now and I needed to embrace all the wonderful things it had to offer me. Like everlasting life and eternal love. I could see the world change as new generations took their place in society. There were things I could still do, places I could still see and I had all of eternity to accomplish what I wanted. I just needed to end what was in front of me first.
I looked over at Alex as he turned over, still sleeping, and I smiled. His love for me went deeper than a few years and a couple hundred dates. He fell in love with me the moment I was born. And even though this was not a modern day fairytale, it was my fairytale just the same. He would never let anything happen to me and he would die to protect me if he had to.
From that moment on I decided to put all my energy, all my faith, and all my power into fighting for my family as they did for me. They sacrificed their lives in keeping the prophecy – me – alive. I needed to prove their deaths were not in vain. I needed to show them, even if they were watching me from heaven that I can do all that was foretold that I could do.
I walked over to the bed and lay down next to Alex. But this time I laid my head down peacefully. No matter what dream I had or what the next day would bring, in this moment I was at peace, and that was enough for me. I closed my eyes.
I opened my eyes slowly, still in a fog. I wiped my eyes to try and see clearly, but it seemed like there was still that white haze that follows a deep sleep. I looked over and saw Alex still sleeping. It was still night and the moon was high in the sky unmasking every shadow that could be created in the beautiful room we were staying in. I moved Alex’s arm trying to wake him, but he didn’t move; he didn’t even flinch. Usually if I touched him lightly he would awaken with concern that a dream had frightened me. But still he lay frozen.
The air around me was calm and still. Usually when the sound around was so silent I would instinctively be scared, but I didn’t feel anything but calm. I was as peaceful as when I went to sleep.
“He will not wake, my dear.” The mysterious voice sounded benevolent.
The voice caught me off guard but I was more curious than fearful. I looked around but I couldn’t see anybody else in the room other than the motionless Alex. He must have been in a deep sleep.
“Do not be alarmed, Trinity. I will not harm you.” The voice seemed to be getting closer, but still I saw nobody.
“I am not scared of you.” And honestly I wasn’t. “But I would like to see who I am speaking to.” I hoped the voice would come out of the darkness.
A bright light suddenly appeared in the center of the room shining brighter than the moon outside. I had to shield my eyes. It was the most calming light I had ever seen.
I remember thinking how safe I felt in that moment. The whole world could have been breaking through my door and I would still feel untouched.
An enchanting figure stood before me. It was almost as if she came out of that light. She was as tall as I was with long, straight, flowing brown hair. Her skin was darker than mine and her eyes were as blue as the ocean. But it was when she smiled down at me that I knew who she was. I knew she was not an evil creature; she could never harm a soul. I knew she was there to help me.
“You must be Ismenia,” I said, trying to keep my excitement to a minimum. After reading about her and idolizing her, she was right in front of me. Close enough to touch. Finally the woman who died to bring peace to this world was here and she was here for me.
“You are correct.” She walked closer to the bed.
“How…” I couldn’t bring out all the words I wanted to say. Being face to face with such an iconic figure, I was paralyzed.
“I’ve waited a long time to meet you, Trinity.” She laughed. “There were times I thought I would never have this chance,” she said, smiling. “But I put my faith in God and he answered our family’s prayers. You are God’s and of course my greatest creation and I’m so proud of all your accomplishments and for everything that is to come.”
“But…” I wanted to tell her that I really haven’t accomplished anything but she stopped me.
“Shhhh.” She put her finger to her mouth. She sat next to me laying her hand on my knee. Her touch was cold, but I embraced the feeling. I had so many questions I wanted answered.
There was a long pause. We just looked at each other. I think she was doing the same thing I was doing: staring at her for enough time that the image would get sketched in my mind, so I would never forget.
“I don’t have a lot of time. Every moment I linger is a moment longer Daniel might find out I’m here. I know you’ve been struggling, Trinity, with your mission, with your faith.” Her voice was so pure and innocent.
“Yes.” I agreed.
“But there will be harder times ahead of you to worry about, so much more than just your faith. There will be more blood shed. You are going to have to make a choice to win this battle.” Her eyes dropped. “It may not be today or tomorrow, or even a month from now but at some point in time, you will have to struggle more than ever. It will have the biggest impact on you emotionally and you’re going to have to do what is right.”
“What kind of choice?” My eyes narrowed and my body tensed. Another choice! Another collection of unanswered questions that would haunt me. My mind was exhausted from all the choices I’ve had to make, how much more could one person take? Who’s to say I would make the right choice anyway.
She looked away, gazing out the open window. “I’m forbidden to speak of it. But I can say that you will know once it crosses your path. Other choices that come before you, you may think: that’s the choice. But the decision I speak of will stop you in your path and hit you like a ton of bricks and you won’t understand until the last minute why you’re making the decision you’re making.”
“Why does it have to be like this? I mean… ” I couldn’t put my thoughts into words.
She smiled, holding my stare. “This is just the way things are. You are a courageous woman, Trinity, bright and strong. But nobody can tell you that, you need to realize it on your own. The time will come when it will all make sense.”
“Nothing makes sense right now,” I whispered.
She let out a breath. “I gave my life for this family, for this cause. I gave my life to protect the creation of you. You will need to stand up and finally be strong on your own and that time will come.” Her words were stern.
“I can’t imagine…” She didn’t let me finish.
“It was hard for me too, at first. When I left, I thought my death would come in seconds, but I found my strength as will you. You have my blood pulsing through your veins, not Lilith’s, even though she would like you to believe that. The truth is that it’s me that makes you a born weapon.” She paused, placing her hands on my cheeks as she smiled at me. “This will all be over soon. I promise.” She brought her hand down to mine. “You will have your moment of peace before continuing again. Then at that time you will have your strength. And then the biggest war that God or Lucifer could ever foresee will be brought upon this world and you will be the center of it. But it will be because of your choice.”
She stood up and gracefully walked to the center of the room. When she turned to look at me her hair twirled in the wind that blew through the window. She smiled at me gently and blew me a kiss. “I have to go. I’ve already stayed too long. But remember my words, sweet child. Don’t let them get into your head. And remember I’m always watching over you.”
I wanted to say more to her but I knew what I had to do. The bright light shone down again, covering her completely. She brought her hands up; I looked away, shielding my eyes. When I looked up she was gone, her words still echoing in my mind.
The silence in the room was shattered by someone banging on the door…