Chapter 1: Part One
Ah, ah, ah, look what we have here!
A human! Getting ready to read a story!
I presume you want to read about a hero, and you want to see that hero get into conflict. And when that hero gets into conflict, you want to see that hero despair. And after that despairing gets boring and unrelatable, you want that hero to go on a journey, have a forced and entirely unneeded relationship, punch the villain in the nuts midst monologue, and then live happily ever after. The end.
Well, friends, prepare for the most bitter of disappointments. None of my so-called friends are heroes. Instead, we have a whore, a pretentious stuck-up, and a big meathead. “Conflict” is a shorter word for “Wednesday morning,” despair is eaten for breakfast, “relationships” are tools, journeys are for those with too much free time, villains can punch their own nuts, thank-you-very-much, and life is far too busy to “live happily ever after.” And this narrator is unfortunately far from all-knowing.
But, I suppose even the whores, stuck-ups, meatheads, and misfits of the world have some sort of story, no? The world would be a boring little place otherwise. Not everyone is a hero, and not everyone wants to be a hero.
But I will tell you, reader, that these particular people, though not heroes, made their worlds a better place.
This is the story of government, the story of freedom, and, most importantly, the story of making choices.
So please, by all means, my dear reader! Sit back, make yourself comfortable, and prepare to read a completely unbiased and definitely accurate narration of a young woman’s adventure with chemistry from her most benevolent (and favorite!) mirror.
Now, let’s begin by giving you some context about my owner Roxalana. And to do that, let’s describe her work.
The year was 2016. The day was May 20th. The sun had long ago retired. One of the three men poured another drink. The group sat huddled at the bar counter, lost in conversation. They had no clue someone was watching them.