I have spent my life with a longing, no a need, for something greater. My biggest fear was getting stuck. I thought that is I kept moving, surely I could escape from the box of a future I could see in front of me. A house, a husband, a job, kids… that is what they wanted for me and somehow that is where I am now. I can’t leave, i can’t just go back to how things were before… but every once in awhile I still get this feeling that I’m meant for something more and I wonder if maybe it’s right.
I’ve gone down this road before. I have a dream, and all of a sudden there is a fire inside of me this need, unquenching, to get away from it all. So i pack my bags and I go, to a new place, a new city… as far as I can. But it’s never far enough, my family calls and I come back, dejected, feeling more than ever that I am a worthless human being who can’t do right in this world.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m cursed. If there is someone out there who wants me to feel this way because of the power that I have. But then I forget about it because magic doesn’t exist and how could I possibly be so important?
One day perhaps I’ll be lucky enough to find what I’m looking for, but for now I remain a mother, a daughter, and a wife.
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