Dead or Alive

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Everyone, as the morning sun peaked through the clouds, wanted to do something together. Parker had now taken control of the group, and asked them what they had in mind.

“Let’s raid a cemetery. Let’s raise the Dead,” they all said in unison. “Jon, has the power now to open graves and release those buried. He has the blood, the green blood of the dead in his veins.” Parker smiled viciously.

Everyone began chanting my name. Jon, Jon, Jon. The chanting continued for minutes, then more yelling and cheers, as my clowns were ready to join the world outside my doors.

The closest Cemetery was just a few blocks north of the beach. If we left now, being Sunday morning, we would be at the Cemetery entrance in 3 minutes. Parker and I finished the Whiskey, and slurred out the words, “let’s go Clowns, off to the cemetery.”

Walking on the street with 5 clowns, Parker, and I, still laughing and enjoying life, imagined the streets were empty. Most persons, neighbors, were at Mass, and those out for a Sunday morning walk, looked at us in disgust and fear. The sidewalks were ours to possess.

The gates to the Cemetery were opened for visitors. The Management saw us coming and tried standing in our way. Parker noticed a freshly dug grave, ready for occupation. The Guard told us, me, it was not respectful to be here, drunk, among those sleeping. We passed by the Guard and continued to the opened and ready grave.

“Hey, I’m telling you to leave. You’re drunk.” The Guard yelled to me.

“This is a fresh grave, right?” Parker asked the Guard.

“Yes, now come on, be respectful or leave, now.” The Guard said seriously.

In my Alcohol ridden tongue, I slurred out the words, “Bite me.”

“Okay, that’s it. You need to leave, right now.” The Guard ordered.

“But I am here with my friends and they wish to raise someone from the grave, oops, sorry, they wish me to raise someone from the dead, I smiled.

“You are really drunk, and crazy. Do You want me to call the Police and force you to leave?” the Guard said firmly.

“Parker took out his Knife and thrust it into the belly of the Guard. “Don’t worry,” Parker told the Guard, “We have a grave right here, just waiting for you to occupy. Now that is what I call good, no, great customer service.”

The Clowns watched the surprised look on the Guards face when Parker stabbed him. They all began laughing and tooting. “Did you see the look on the guys face when Parker stabbed him. What a surprise for him”, as the laughter continued. “This guy can’t take a joke,” they continued laughing. “Stick him again, Parker.”

Parker pushed the overweight guard into the open grave, told the group to collect some flowers from the other graves and put them on the Guards new home. The whole group ran from grave to grave, taking flowers from the other Tomb Stones, returning excited, to place them on the Guards site.

The Group gathered in front of the Guards new home for life, and said different words of solace and peace to help the Guard on his new journey. When finished praying for the Guard, they told him to carry on, cross over.

We were the only ones in the Cemetery, now, and the group still wanted me to raise someone form the Dead. We made a circle, holding hands and I began to chant for the underworld Dude, to come and take the Guard home. The more I chanted, the more the clowns began shaking, jumping up and down and yelling some words I didn’t know the meaning of.

Just as I was about to finish my chanting, because nothing was happening, the ground around all of us, began shaking. Dirt came flying upwards, covering the tombstones within 25 feet of the graves we were standing on. The Guard was still breathing, in the pre-dug grave we put him into. He began climbing out of the hole behind us.

The grave in front of us had begun opening as well. One hand after another, one leg, then another, the body of bones and rotted clothes emerged from the ground. The Guard behind us and the Dead body risen, in front of us. The Group was in panic mode.

They all began yelling, “More, more, give us more mummies.” The group was out of control. I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t concentrate. Parker was looking for more flowers and possible contestants to emerge from their graves as well.

Now, the alcohol was wearing off, and I began wondering how, if real, did I raise someone from their burial site. But, honestly, nothing is real, it’s all just a reaction to the Green medicine infused in my body. Nothing is real.

What was real, were the two Cop cars racing to where we were raising the dead, and killing the Guard. However, the Guard wasn’t dead, but almost. The Guard called the Cops on his phone and they were here, heading directly at us.

Parker told the others, my clowns, to beat it back to the house. Parker said we would follow, but first we needed to take care of the Guard and the Police.

Three of the grounds keepers were headed towards us, with picks and shovels, probably to fill the grave that the Guard had fallen into. The Police car hadn’t noticed the workers walking towards us, on the grass.

The Cop car, at the last moment, saw the workers, slammed on the brakes in the car and skidded at least one hundred yards. The two Cops smashed through their windshield, flying into the open grave that the Guard was coming out of. Parker was beside himself with joy.

This truly was a great day for the Cemetery and its occupants, enjoying the action. One coming out and two going in. It was a Laurel and Hardy moment. The Police took the Guard out of the hole and we took off, back to the Beach to relax and talk Hamburger Bob into cooking for us again.

The Clowns were sitting outside, on the patio furniture, watching the skaters and bikers pass by. Great day, and I learned how to chant. Hamburger Bob opened the BBQ, turned on the gas and told Sandy to get him the hamburger patties to cook. We opened another bottle of whiskey.

Sun was hot and the waves were huge. More, and more people were coming to the Beach to enjoy the sun and the water. Hamburgers de Bob were ready, and the smell of his delicious burgers enticed the people walking on the promenade. Sandy said we should make a sign, “BOB’ BURGERS AND A SHOT OF WHISKEY $5.

Sandy got busy and made the sign. People smelled the Burgers cooking and came up to our patio, to place orders. My job was to handle the shots of Whiskey. The Day passed, and there was no repercussion from the Police or the Cemetery Guards.

Parker was a bit distraught, missing Mona. I told him that she was here, in the back bedroom. Parker smiled and walked down the hallway to the bedroom, opening the door. There was Mona, naked, laying on the bed.

She asked Parker if he was hungry. He took one look at his girl, slammed the bedroom door shut, and hit the bed for a tug of war, or whatever you want to call it.

Everything was great. The group of non-existent friends had made my day, even if I didn’t understand this Schizoid stuff. I wasn’t even sure if my dream friends were now real or what? What I did know, was, there will be a time or a reckoning. But, not today.

In the next few days, I found myself sitting alone and contemplating, as others would say, the meaning of life. The days were filled with my group interrupting me at every corner to hang out, and Parker anxious to find another victim.

But sitting alone, thinking of how I got into this mess, was really depressing yet amazing in its context. Imagine, dreams and the persons within the dreams becoming real. The Door Man, Doctor and two Nurses. Then comes the Schizoid group of imaginary friends and their drag on my mind and wildly crazy circumstances. Then a new Beach House, Corvette Z06, and multiple friends that I created in my mind, who, melded with the Dream Group, again, in my mind.

Then came the awakening of Black Blood in my body, rather than Green Blood in my body. What happened to the normal every day, Red Blood? And did I invent the Element 55.738AB or is it real?

My mirror never lies, but my mind will confuse and try to trick me. I kept thinking that if the Element infused into my body worked, and the results I see in my all-knowing mirror were true, I am now, 30 years younger. That means the Door Man, The Door I passed through supplying my password, the Doctor and two Nurses, became or were, REAL.

That meant that the Element or experimental Drug entering my body, held the key to aging and what’s better or worse, restoring the dead from the grave.

“Hey, enough contemplation about the past. This is your future and we are here to be with you to the end.” Parker interrupted my thinking session with myself.

“Hey, sorry guys, let’s head out to the Beach. Anyone here care to learn how to surf the waves?” I asked.

A rousing yes came from the invisible group of Schizoid friends, who were still dressed up as Clowns. We hit the sand, and walked over to little Jimmy’s Surf shop to begin our lessons. Jimmy was a little guy, almost a dwarf, but muscular and one great surfer. A dwarf with Dreadlocks.

Jimmy had pictures of himself, on his store wall, surfing the tube, shooting the curl, and hang 10 on his long board. This guy was a pro. Parker told the group to cool it until I could get us signed up, pay the fee, and get a board. The five clowns sat quietly, with Parker, until I got the go ahead to meet Jimmy at the water’s edge with this giant surf board he rented to me.

Walking on the sand, with the surf board, to the water’s edge gave me a little scare. The 5 clowns were bouncing all around me, arguing who would be the first to ride the board with me. Sandy won the argument.

“Hey Dude, you ready for the time of your life?” Jimmy smiled at me. Sandy was ready, and the other 4 clowns too. Parker and Mona pulled out a bottle of left over whiskey from our patio party and told the Clowns and myself to take a toke. Parker said it would loosen us up for the surfing lesson with Jimmy.

As always, one toke, lead to another and another, leaving me with 5 drunk Clowns, a dwarf surf instructor, Parker, and Mona laughing their butts off. I was the only one taking this new adventure seriously. We hit the water, all of us.

One crashing wave after another, left the make up on the Clowns faces, smudged, but colorful. Jimmy kept telling me to focus, not knowing that Sandy was on the board with me, and 4 other Clowns in the water yelling at me to give them a turn.

Sandy and I caught one huge wave, balanced the board perfectly and rode home to the sand. Amazing ride and Sandy was all over me, excited and full of hugs. We left the Surf Board in the water for the other Clowns to use.

Walking with Jimmy, back to his store, Sandy and I could hear the Clowns yelling for us to turn around and look at them. Amazingly, all four Clowns were on the Board with Parker and Mona swimming alongside. The Whiskey bottle was being passed from one person to another, getting the Clowns more drunk than before, but able to ride the waves like pros.

My imaginary Clowns were blitzed, raising one leg in unison, while riding a giant wave, then the other leg, while turning in a circle on the board, laughing and hollering at Sandy and Me. Jimmy admonished me for leaving the board unattended in the water.

“Jon, no one is on that Board, but its surfing the waves perfectly. I have never seen that happen before.” If Jimmy only knew, that 4 clowns were playfully auditioning for Surfers Magazine.

Unseen, unknown actors on the Board. My Clowns, and a life guard on the water’s edge yelling Shark.

The group jumped off the board just as the shark bit the board in half. The Clowns, Parker and Mona were drunk, swimming back to shore, laughing and wildly happy. The Shark was on its way towards the beach, with half the board still in its mouth.

The group, after seeing the Shark, board in mouth, drank more brown liquid supplied by Parker and Mona and continued laughing at the show in the water. The four Clowns were laughing, saying that the Tiberon almost got them. They finished the bottle and wanted me to buy another.

I had to pay Jimmy for the half- eaten board, but with the attitudes of my invisible friends being so happy, it was worth the cost. We trudged through the sand together, Sandy and I, hand in hand, happy, heading back to the house after stopping at the local 7/ 11 store for that bottle of Whiskey.

An amazing day, until Sandy and I decided to shower, get the salt water from our bodies, clean up for Dessert, and it happened. My body was changing.

“Jon, what’s happening to you?” Sandy asked me.

“What?” I asked her.

“Your face seems to be aging, before my eyes, my love.” Sandy frowned. “Are you feeling poorly?”

The others entered our bedroom sitting on the bed. They were whispering that I was changing. My body was morphing into something different than human.

I interrupted their discussion, my body wrapped in a towel, asking them what was on their mind. “Hamburger Bob said my face was changing into something else, other than my face.” He frowned.

“All of you are still drunk. I’m not changing,” as I returned to the mirror and gasped at the image, my reflection. The Group was right, I was changing and the day of reckoning had come.

Sitting on my bed, wrapped in my towel, Sandy asked me what was happening to me?

“My Doctor told me that a change might occur, and if so, for me to return to his hospital. I honestly think it’s just an adjustment after he injected me with another dose of the experimental Element of Green liquid. I feel great.” I told Sandy and the Group.

Everyone felt at ease after I told them how I felt. I knew, just from the feeling, a tingling feeling in my face, that something was in the works. I needed one of my clowns to get ahold of the Door Man and have him get the Doctor to come to the house as soon as possible. Sandy’s Father took the responsibility to get the Doctor here, asap.

Sandy told me to rest on the bed. “All of you Clowns go to the living room and let Jon sleep.” Sandy demanded. “And keep the laughter down to a minimum, okay?”

I laid down, and instantly went into a deep sleep. As I slept, I was awake to the changes happening in my body, more explicitly, my face. I could see my skin tightening, my hair becoming thicker and more blond. My face was becoming younger, much younger.

The rest of my body was morphing as well. From 72 years old, to 42 years old, to 25 years old, approximately. I was much younger and thankful to God, for this amazing gift.

Hamburger Bob was sitting in the living room with the other members of my invisible group, wondering if life for the group will change too? They all continued their positive attitudes and returned to the bottle, waiting for me to wake up and assure them that everything will be okay.

Parker and Mona sat quietly on the sofa, not speaking. The wrinkled brow on their faces told the whole story. Would I order my new friends, order them to leave, and never come back?

My Sleep brought forth questions, unanswered questions only the Doctor could answer. Will my Green blood remain in my veins, or turn black and take my life? Dead or Alive? That was my question. Now that an adjustment was made in my age, again, my dreams were more positive. No more Door Man, No more Door. The Doctor and two Nurses remained inside my Subconscious mind, or Conscious Schizoid mind if you will.

I needed my blood work tested again. The Black death was always on my mind. The Doctor had arrived, setting up his temporary exam room in one of the bedrooms. The Doctor called me to come in and have a seat. “Thank you, Doctor,” as I sat down in a high- backed chair of mine. “What now, Doc?”

“First, let’s take a blood sample, then we can go from there, okay?” The Doctor told me.

In the meantime, the group were worrying about my physical results with the Doctor. The group wanted everything to remain the same. The Doctor continued with his examination and in the following hour he began explaining my results and outlook for continued life.

“Okay Doc., give it to me straight.” I frowned.

“Jon, you are an anomaly.” The Doctor smiled. “Your blood has finally stabilized, green. The Black death is gone, for now. You are continually getting younger, and at some point, your aging process will cease.”

“That’s a bit scary, Doc. I don’t want to get any younger.” I frowned. “You need to stop this from continuing.”

“It has slowed way down, Jon. I can estimate your final age will stop at, give or take, 25.” The Doctor smiled.

“25 is good, but any less than that is bad, Doc.” I scolded him.

“Look, the good news is your blood has stabilized. Your aging has given you more years to live, happy and healthy. The other anomaly is that your mind has accepted and placed value on the Schizoid members of your life, combined with your dream world persons.

The one thing that has also happened to you, is that you are not living in the world the rest of us are living in. You have created a whole new world. God knows what you may dream up, and create, from this day forward. But remember, what exists in the other two realms of existence, Schizoid and Dreams, can be made real, by you, now. Also, you have the ability to create new life forms.”

“Jesus, Doc, you have made me into some kind of a God?” I cried.

“Does that please you, Jon?” The Doctor smiled. “Your transformation is completed, you will have powers not available in the World you came from. By some standards, you will be thought of as a God, or an Alien.” The Doctor continued.

“The Green Blood Doc? A mixture of genes and so on, or a mix of alien blood with my blood?” I asked.

“Jon, it’s a new, experimental Element. That is all you need to know. It has worked, healing your broken bones, giving you your youth back and from what you told me earlier, you can now raise the dead from their graves, right?” The Doctor smiled. “You are a success, in the confines of this experimental Drug.”

“What can I expect, besides making my group real persons and the other things you mentioned?” I questioned the Doctor.

“Let me answer your question in this manner. Your abilities are UNLIMITED. Whatever you want, you will create, and you will have.” The Doctor said it was time for him to leave now.

I went to my bedroom, sat on the bed with Sandy. “Would you like to become real, Sandy?” I asked her.

“Jon, I am real. We made love together Jon. Are you confused again?” She asked me.

“Just a joke my love, just a joke.” I held her in my arms, hoping never to lose her, in my life. But like all things, nothing lasts forever, or does it?

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