Singing in the Shower
Well you know how you always come across this one annoying person who sings in the shower, and not just the most pleasant, wow, you like moog have the most amazing voice in the world I could just like in fact listen to it for my entire life. Please do keep on with your singing in the shower. But the type of voice that sounds like a moose that had gotten run over by a truck and is slowly dying from internal bleeding. Yeah, the devil has that type of voice and let me tell you waking up to him singing in the shower is like pure pain. Imagine this the most evil of beings is singing in a shower as bubbles rush across his horns and black goatee, I even believe he had a yellow rubber ducky with red horns and a pair of sunglasses to match, anyways back on topic no need to discuss my brothers rubber ducky which will soon meet its maker anyways, that’s china if you don’t understand where it came from, so the devil or Lucifer is singing not any nasty I’ll rip your soul from the very stages of your body. No instead he is singing and I hate to admit one of my most feared brother to such an extent, nah ‘It’s a small world’, the little mermaid songs and last but not least ‘I love you’ from Barny. I believe that’s where he had heard it from. Anyways, I get up after listening to his off key singing of those weird an unusual songs and I find myself face to face with him in a pink bath robe with frilly pink letterings across his breast ‘Cold as fire baby’ he stands there a few seconds then turns and walks away and on his ass is ‘hot as ice’. I was petrified! So the next morning I had devised a plan, muhahahahahahahahaha. Yes the brilliant me had a plan that will stop the devil and make him turn tail and run for the hills in his pink frilly bath robe.
Early the next morning Lucifer gets up and out of bed, for the first one in the shower. Because being the ruler of the underworld he gets first dibs and I’m just the visitor, see I even have a visitor pass for the times I ‘spend’ the night with him. He reaches the bathroom and opens up the door and Bam. He sees first thing in the morning my naked skeleton ass standing in the shower with his bubbles foaming around my skeleton being. He’s mad right now but then I take it a step farther and hold up his held hostage rubber ducky and squeaked it. ‘Quack, quack’ the rubber ducky goes and that is my point to start what I think is the world’s ultimate and greatest sing along. Even though Lucifer here disagrees with me, saying that I sing off key and with the power to make even a deaf man run in terror. But that’s just his way of saying fuck you.
‘Drop the rubber ducky if you want to play the saxophone,’ hits top with my list ending with ‘I’ve got the whole world in my hands’. Add this to my very famous belly dance. My bones shaking along with me as I dance to the beat going off in my head, and I turn around and stick out my butt, give it a good twist before pulling it back in and jumping around to begin a new set of songs, ‘ the Macarena and put your left foot in and you shake it all about. Or hands up baby hands up give me your love give me your love give me give me.’ but at last my fun could not last forever I think the last song really got to Him for he set my ass on fire. Now being death, he can’t kill me which is a blessing. But his fire still hurts like hell. Pun intended
Let’s just say it took a long time before I ever went down to visit my brother again. Anyways I still hear him every now and again singing in the shower and yes he is still off key, but hey we all couldn’t be created with good looks and a fabulous singing voice. Like me now can we? Also I still always get a chance when walking past him to break into song and dance up and down the hall way, with different songs.
WARNING: these stories are all fictional!!!! As in they are False! Fake and Off the record! You do not want me to sing you to sleep! Forever.