The heart of the eternal

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Wenja felt her heart beating like a drum in her chest, this was wrong and yet so terribly enticing and she saw that Rhawan had put a hand in under Sefa’s skirts and he was moving it. Sefa did moan and closed her eyes and Rhawan started to kiss her neck and the other hand was busy with her bodice. Wenja saw that Sefa was rubbing herself against his hand, looking as if she really enjoyed it and Rhawan was breathing hard and his eyes were so very dark now. Wenja saw that Sefa did fidget with his belt buckle and that was when she had had enough, she got up and fled out of the wagon, trying desperately to control herself. She felt her hands tremble and she had to be the most wretched person in the whole world for she felt as if she wanted to be in Sefa’s place. She wanted to touch Rhawan, to feel him touching her and she remembered how she had used to help Ulfar with the sheep. Each autumn she had watched as the ram did mount the ewes and sometimes she had felt this strange tingling in her body. She had never told anyone for she somehow knew that it was something she wasn’t supposed to talk about but now she felt it again, just so much much stronger. She felt her heartbeat all through her body and in special down between her legs and she whimpered and ran until she found a sort of alcove a bit away from the wagons. The horses were tethered there and she pressed herself against the cold rock and tried to force herself to calm down. The wagon wasn’t far away, and she whimpered as she saw that it had started to move on its springs, in a rather vigorous rhythm.

The other wagons were placed in two rows and this was the one at the back of the rows so nobody saw what was going on, or at least Wenja hoped nobody did. The others were eating, gathered by a fire pit and Wenja felt her heart beating like thunder in her ears but she couldn’t help it. She slowly walked back to the wagon, it felt horrible but it was stronger than her own will. She put a foot in the wheel closest by the window and lifted herself up, peeking in through the rough glass. Sefa was on her back on the bed and Rhawan was on top of her, he held himself up on his elbows and his pants were down by his knees from what Wenja could see. Sefa had her skirts around her waist and her legs were wrapped firmly around Rhawan’s hips, pulling him tightly to her. She was grasping onto his shoulders with her hands and arms and Wenja could hear that they both were moaning rather loudly. She gasped and did cling onto the wheel with an iron grip, Sefa was tossing her head back with an expression of something which resembled agony on her face and Rhawan’s face was hidden in his thick blue hair but she could hear him making some deep almost growling sounds.

Wenja’s eyes were drawn to his hips, saw how his muscular rear moved with a sort of primeval rhythm and the wagon did sway a little with each thrust, the springs were taking quite a beating now and so was the bed for it was creaking. His skin did glisten with sweat and Sefa did move her legs out of the way, grasped onto his butt instead of his shoulders and she appeared to be clawing at his skin for he tossed his head back and hissed and then he started moving even faster and harder and Wenja saw that Sefa arched back against the bed, pressing a hand over her mouth to stifle what could only be a scream. Rhawan did lose the rhythm, he sort of stiffened up and then he thrust one last time and arched, head thrown back and face contorted by bliss. Wenja heard him growl Sefa’s name several times and he shuddered visibly, so did Sefa too.

Wenja let go, ran back to the alcove, almost in tears from shame and shock and a sense of disbelief. She had peeped at them, she was shameless! Oh by every god there was, she shouldn’t have accepted that piece of the accursed candy, never! But the images felt as if they were glued to her mind and she felt like weeping but couldn’t. Her body was trembling, her heart beat like a drum in her chest and she felt something warm and wet spreading between her legs. She was such a whore, why would she feel thus if she wasn’t? She wanted it, she wanted to have what Sefa had, to feel those strong calloused hands touching her skin, making her writhe and moan. Rhawan had said that Ahravan was handsome and gentle, that he would be kind to her and treat her well. Wenja imagined herself laying like that, with a male on top of her, with skin not as dark as Rhawan’s and hair like gold and suddenly the thought of getting married didn’t seem so terrible after all. Would he kiss her the way Rhawan had kissed Sefa? Put his hand up under her skirts, making her moan? Wenja leaned against the rock again, eyes closed and breath fast and shuddering. She felt how her inner thighs felt slick and wet and she had to rub them together and then something just snapped. It felt good, it felt so good she no longer could control herself. She spun around, facing the wall and pressed herself against it, felt how the uneven surface seemed to mould itself after her body and she whimpered and rubbed herself against it. The warmth filled her, every cell and every nerve and she remembered how Rhawan’s perfect rear had moved, tensing and relaxing, tensing and relaxing. With a gasp she spread her legs and pushed against a protruding piece of rock and her legs felt as if they were about to give in underneath her but an insane feeling of sheer pleasure exploded through her body and she bit her lip not to scream. She was clinging to the cold rock as her body fought its way through her very first release and she felt warm liquid running down her legs and everything exploded into white light and a feeling of relief stronger than anything she had ever experienced before.

When she was able to gather her senses again she felt as if she was flying and at the same time she was so terribly heavy and relaxed and she squeaked and didn’t know what to think or feel. Was this something bad? Had she done something terrible? The storm in her body had calmed down, she felt extremely well and if this was what Sefa had felt back in the wagon there was no wonder she had looked the way she did. Wenja cringed, she was slick and wet and tender in funny places and had this really been normal? She sort of waddled off to the wagon where they kept the spare clothes and the troths they used for washing. She saw nobody there so she got inside and found a clean petticoat and a dry skirt and then she changed without daring to look at herself. She washed off with a cloth and cold water and the mere touch felt strange, almost electric. She was so very sensitive now, and it made her cringe but some part of her didn’t feel any shame at all. It had felt wonderful so how could it be wrong?

She waited for a few moments, combed through her hair, found some of the perfume Theka used and put some of it on her wrists and on the skirt and then she left the wagon and headed back to her own. Sefa was sitting in the door, looking very smug and happy and Rhawan was nowhere to be seen. Wenja couldn’t look at Sefa, she had watched the other woman lay with Rhawan, how could she ever talk to Sefa again without remembering that? Sefa tilted her head. “You left faster than a racehorse leaves the starting line, did we awaken you?”

Wenja swallowed. “Awaken?”

Sefa nodded. “Yes, your lust, I could feel that you were nearby you know, did you like what you saw?”

Wenja yipped, staring at Sefa with huge eyes, how could she have… “You know?”

Sefa nodded. “Of course I know, there is little light here and the window is not very large but your shadow was rather visible still”

Wenja just wished that the ground could open up and swallow her whole, she let out a sob and wanted to turn around and run but Sefa grasped her hand. “No girl, don’t flee. I am here to teach you remember? And now I have taught you something new, did you like watching us?”

Wenja felt like a wretch, her head bowed deeply in shame. “Yes”

Sefa smiled widely. “See? That wasn’t so hard to confess now was it? Wonderful, that was just what we had hoped for. You are perfectly normal Wenja, don’t worry. And now you know what your body wishes for too, and what you can look forwards to. “

Wenja let out a keen, she felt so exposed, so naked and Sefa gave her a quick hug. “Ahravan will have a bride who knows her own body, who knows what she likes and what she needs. And I will make sure that this is what he gets. Did it arouse you?”

Wenja had to nod, remembering the wonderful and oh so irresistible feeling which had hijacked her body so completely. “That is excellent, did you touch yourself? There is no shame in that young one, as a matter of fact it would be very good if you did, it shows that you are normal”

Wenja gasped and tried to find the words. “Uh, i…I rubbed myself against…and I felt…”

Sefa gaped, then she laughed and there was sheer joy in her eyes, “Oh sweetheart, by the Goddess herself, did you come?! That is wonderful”

Wenja tried to remember how to breathe. “I…I think…I…”

Sefa hugged her again. “How fantastic, then we know you aren’t frigid, and when Ahravan does claim your maidenhead I am quite sure that you will scream with joy and not in pain at all.”

Wenja had to sit down, the mental image she got…it made her stomach churn again but this time the feeling was different, it wasn’t as much fear as it was a sort of tingling anticipation. Sefa did stroke her hair. “Listen, from now on I want you to touch yourself every night, do you hear me? Find out what you like, where it feels good to be touched. Learn how to love your body and the joy it can give you”

Wenja swallowed. “And that wouldn’t be…wrong?”

Her voice was thin and Sefa shook her head. “No, absolutely not. Quite the opposite. See it as your gift to your future husband, that he is given a bride who knows what she wants and can tell him how to please her.”

Wenja blushed again. “Back home they wanted the girls to be ignorant?”

Sefa sort of snorted, hard! She sounded like a horse. “Oh that bullshit is just something you have to forget about. Do you know why they want their brides to be clueless?”

Wenja frowned and shook her head. “No?”

Sefa grinned, a rather vicious grin. “Because then they won’t have to worry about being exposed as terrible lovers. It takes the pressure away from them, they can just fuck and be done with it and doesn’t have to care about her at all, she can be in agony and they won’t mind as long as they can stick their cock into something alive.”

Wenja gasped from Sefa’s harsh words and the dark haired girl did look stern. “The eternal are very different, believe me. To them the pleasure of their partner comes first, then their own. Ahravan will worship you, every night you wish for it.”

Wenja did blush and Sefa sighed. “If you need some advice just come to me, I have plenty to give and I don’t mind letting you watch again, Rhawan is wonderful and he can truly make a girl mad with need.”

Wenja had to giggle. “I sort of saw that yes”

Sefa smiled. “Good, now you know that it isn’t anything to fear, when you go to bed now think about your wedding, and how you will entice and arouse your husband.”

Wenja felt the need to hide her face again, not sure if she really wanted to think about that at all, just yet. Sefa got up and patted her on the head. “I have of course changed the bedding, so the bed is clean. I suggest you get some rest for according to Rhawan the next part of the journey may be a bit more demanding”

Wenja did nod and she felt almost relieved when Sefa did go to join the others. She didn’t want to talk about this anymore and she made sure that her appearance was normal before she went to find Imh and got a portion of her excellent stew. Afterwards she returned to the wagon to find Prina there, she had been talking with one of the guards and they had discussed the different ways wool was being treated and Prina was very excited for she had learned that the clans would mix other types of fibre into the wool to make different types of cloth and she was dying to test that out. Prina was glad to be there, glad to have been offered this chance to escape but Wenja was in the opposite situation and she wasn’t so sure that she was any better off now than she had been earlier that day.

She was very quiet as Prina enthusiastic told about the new things she had learned and if her friend had been more observant she would have noticed for sure but as it was she didn’t. They went to bed and Prina fell asleep right away, her mind was opening up more and more as she started to realize what freedom she had gained. She was becoming a very sweet and very charming personality and everybody had started to like her. Wenja wished that she too could be that open and naïve but she didn’t have it in her. Perhaps it was because Prina had lived such a terrible life before, when Wenja had been poor but loved.

The next day the wagons were placed in a long line again and the front riders returned and told of a bridge. That made Rhawan tense up visibly and he rode ahead and was gone for a while. Wenja saw that the drivers too did look nervous and Imh who sat there helping the girls with some stitches grinned widely. “The bridges are not very wide usually, and they have no rail.”

Prina did look puzzled. “Are there rivers in here?”

Imh giggled. “Yes, and other things too. I think this one spans a gorge”

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