What Have I Done
I sat in my office wallowing my self pity in booze. I know it was almost impossible to get a werewolf drunk, but I was sure going to try.
My mate. My beautiful, precious, stubborn, mate. What am I going to do with her. I have a few ideas. I smiled at the thought. But then frowned at what had been said. What I had said had been uncalled for. She was a kind soul. She was overly sweet, but when the time called for it she could be as cold as the frozen tundra. I sighed. I deserved this. I could not sleep, not without her in my arms. Ever since the second night, she always slept with me in the room. I wonder how she was faring in a guest bedroom.
Without warning I threw the booze glass at a wall and it shattered. I glared at it then looked outside. It was raging all hell outside. I wonder if Allison was cold in her room. But then I think how I did not deserve to know. I did not deserve the right to hold her and give her warmth. I accused her of wanting the crown. I know she doesn't but I was projecting my fears on her. All the girls that flock around me want the crown, and the money and power that comes with it. Not that I pay them any mind. But it's always that power is always what people want from me.
Hell, the people who follow me only follow me because I was to become King, that and I can protect them. I sighed. Allison, my sweet Allison only wanted to be loved and cared for after all she's been through. That's not too much to ask. But somehow I still mess it up. I go to my liquor shelf and grab a special brew that contained wolfs bane that would at least get me tipsy if I drank it. It would take a toll on my wolf to an extent, but it was worth it if I could at least clear my head for a while. I took a swig when I heard a knock at my door. I go to answer it but someone walks in anyway. I glare lightly at the intruder. She is apart of this too. Another reason why my Luna is hurting. Allison put it off as not a big deal, but when she showed me the memory, I could feel her emotions, and she doubted her self immensely when Bremen said that she was easily replaceable by this thing in front of me. I had to hold myself back from sneering at the she wolf that has offered herself as something to "take the edge off" more times than I could count. Now that everyone knows that Allison my Luna, she can't do it again or I would be obliged to rip her head off.
"What do you want Ravana?" I asked as I sat behind my desk, glaring at the girl. She was nothing compared to my Luna, and I would have to show Allison that when they were back on speaking terms. Ravana was a good warrior, but that was it. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. She seemed to always hold confidence and a cockiness around her, but she needed to learn her place before I couldn't contain my already controlled temper.
"I want that pathetic excuse that you call a mate out of our territory," she hissed as she slammed both her hands on the desk. As if she were in charge. I let out a growl before I took a deep breath to reign it in.
"I could have your head on a spike for insulting your Luna and future Queen like that," I said in a deadly calm voice.
"I have rights as your pack member to be concerned for the safety of this pack! She shredded a pack member today, completely unprovoked, I WAS THERE! I SAW HER! Plus with all this stuff on the news, your going to get us all killed, the king is talking about how if anyone sees you to kill you on sight or bring you in. I would not put it past him to come here and kill us all himself. And what for? For some stupid girl who can't do anything a Luna would do? She was born an omega and she should remain one. Just because you pity her does not mean you need to claim her as your mate," she yelled out and was panting at the end of it. I stood up and looked at her.
"Ravana, First off this is technically not a pack, and if it were you would not have the rank to even consider talking about your Luna this way. Second she was provoked by the person training her and he got what he asked for. Third, I saw what happened and I know what was said. You do not need to worry about the news because I am handling it. And I am not risking anything. Not when my mate is involved. She needs to stay by my side. She is my mate, my true mate. And as you are not I feel as if you should go before I behead you and rip out your heart as a prize to the mate that I love," I said seething as I watched her scurry out of my office. As I said the words I knew they were true. I knew I loved my mate. Most mates would have already marked each other and told them they loved them and consummated their relationship. I sighed. I would tell her as my apology. That's it. I will go to her right now. I looked at the clock and saw that it was already four in the morning. Was she already sleeping? Should I wake her?
I sigh. Yes. I would. Because she needs to know that what I said had no real underlying truth or menace behind it. The words were harsh, way harsher than she deserved at that moment. But I could not take them back. They were said and would stay in her mind forever, but at least I can take the pain away so we can move on. Maybe she would let me kiss her again. Just the thought riled me up. I first did it so I could give her the air that she needed, but after just a taste, I couldn't stop. It was like a powerful, addictive drug. And I could never get enough.
I walked down corridors following her now stale sent to our room. That was weird. Why is she there? I walk in to find no one. Not one thing was out of place from this morning. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my nose as realization goes through me. At that moment it felt like lightning struck me. My eyes opened and I was running to the front door. When I got outside I jumped and transformed mid-air. I let out a heart wrenching howl and ran towards the river that I last saw her and stupidly left her there. I heard paws behind me. Bremen and his sister followed by the doctor were right beside me. I looked at Bremen surprised, but did not pay much mind to it since I needed all paws on deck. It took us an hour through the snow in order to get to the pond. The sun was coming out, but the snow was still coming down. The wind and snow making this much harder, but we were all use to the harsh snow and our wolves had adapted and had thick fur that could keep us warmth for our whole lives out here. But I knew Allison's wolf would not be use to the snow. Yes she has gotten better with the cold, but not enough to last a snow storm. I tried to reach out through our bond but all I got was a head ache. Dammit, the alcohol. I whimpered. This is all my fault. I put my nose to the ground and tried to pick up a sent only to find none. Shit, she was long gone. I did not know where she went from here, in which direction. I howled. Hoping to hear anything.
All I got in return was just a faint howl, really far out to the west. But before it was even finished I was rushing after it. It had to be Blaz, and Blaz had to be with her, he practically never left her side. He had to be there. He had to keep her warm. we ran for an hour and a half before we nearly crashed into Blaz. He whined and started running and I ran after him as the other wolves struggled to keep up with the Alpha and the wolf on a mission. It felt forever until Blaze stopped and started looking around. He whined and pawed at the ground.
This isn't the time for games. I wanted to scream out. But Blaz put his nose to the ground and sniffed around. I also did to see what he could smell only to catch that rosy-lavender sent that I love so much. Before I could control myself I could feel my wolf side winning out as it focused on getting our mate. And I let it. We needed to find her. Heaven only knows how long she has been out here. But her sent cut off. I paced and paced. It didn't make sense, unless.
My paws were moving before I processed the thought. I reigned my claws in so if she was under all this snow, I would not do more damage than needed. Soon enough Her pale skin was showing as were her blue lips. Her skin seemed to be getting paler and redder by the second. Bremen and the doctor were busy helping me dig her up. Once she was out of her shallow hole I phased back into my human form. I picked her up and held her close. She was absolutely freezing. I was frantic. She was naked and exposed to the elements. I tried to warm her hands and feet as fast as I could. The snow was now not falling and dawn was just around the corner. Rosa came back and before she could get near my mate I growled. She just threw the sweatpants at me and I put them on my mate. The sweat pants covered her whole lower half including her legs, and the jacket covered her upper half. But now we need transportation. I looked around to see the doctor on the phone that he had carried in a pack in his wolf form that had medical supplies. He looked to me as he hung up.
"Calvary is on the way, we are lucky that we had people go into town for supplies. They are on the main road that leads to the castle. It will cut the travel into two hours instead of four. She can lay down in the trunk with you next to her in order to help with warmth and healing. They will be there in thirty minutes. We need to go now, How are we going to transport her? It is important that she stays in that position until her body can regain some of its own functions. She is like glass that you cant bend or it can break. I do not know the extent of the damage. But better safe than sorry."
I tried to think. She can't be carried on bear back but she also can not be carried in my human form.
"Rosa, did you bring blankets from the cash?"
"Yes, I thought she would need them," She said softly as she handed them to me.
"Okay, we need to get her in this huge blanket and wrapper her securely in it. Then Bremen and me will carry each end in our mouths. You two can go home, there is not enough space in the car and I need you guys there when we get there. Move out," I said as I wrapped her in the blanket. Her arms were over her stomach and her legs tight together as we wrapped her in the large blanket that we usually use to place over the snow in order to be more comfortable. But in this case we were trying to cocoon her. When we got her situated Bremen and I both phased and took a end of the cloth in our mouths and started at a steady pace to the road. When we got to the road a large suv that was more like a truck that had a huge enclosed trunk for groceries. Instantly the two males came out in order to help but I growled at them. The bared their neck and when I nodded they gently moved my mate into the large trunk. I hopped in after her and put my belly to hers while putting just a little weight on her. Trying to encase her not only in my warmth but the warmth of the car. I could hear her faint heart beat and licked her cold face. I tried to cover every inch of her, while I emitted my own warmth. She had to be okay. This was all my fault. I did this. And I could not believe that I did this to her. I knew she would recover but it was going to take days. maybe longer. I saw her eyes move behind her eyelids and I phased back for a second and kissed her head, and then her lips as tears fell from my eyes.
"I love you, I am so sorry," I said as I caressed her face and then phased back and covered her body so she was once again encased in me. I would always be here to keep her warm. Always.
A/N: Three updates in one day. Who is on a role? :) Once I started writing I couldn't stop. Hope you all enjoy!