Midieval Day - Guinevere
I am Guinevere McDougal. I’m fifteen. In case you can’t guess, my mother is a) british and b) a scholar of Arthurian Legends. Yes, that’s an actual profession. For those who have never heard of Camelot, Guinevere was the Queen, married to King Arthur. She cheated on him with Sir Lancelot, almost got burned at the stake, and was rescued by Lancelot. Not exactly a good role model. Better than Boadicea, at least.
Well, Alexandria told me that I should put a crazy story in here, and I’ve got a doozy. After all, it’s not every day that your school reverts to pre-Renaissance society.
It was last spring when Geography became an impromptu Medieval festival. There was a flash of purple light. Once we were no longer blind, everyone was dressed in Medieval outfits from a variety of places and time periods. Of course, the Rift having a sense of humor, I was dressed like a stereotypical Queen Guinevere, complete with crown. I gritted my teeth. At least I wasn’t a knight who had his helmet on backwards, like Mike. The rift got that one right, at least.
After a moment, an announcement came onto the speaker system. “Everyone, please report to the auditorium. It seems we have a situation.” Yeah, no shit. It took a full half hour for everyone to get into the auditorium because most of the girls didn’t know how to walk in skirts that long and full. Of course, not all the girls had skirts.
Again, the rift had perfect metaphorical pitch. Alexandria was dressed like a knight, Boadicea was dressed as a Scottish lady (complete with McDougal tartan), Susie had somehow gotten a pastel dress that I am pretty sure was Victorian, Angel’s dress was pure white, and Aslan was definitely wearing a dress. Indi’s garb was East Asian and Ray’s was Native American, despite him being only like one-sixty-fourth Cherokee. Of course, as soon as Mark and Nick saw me, they started making King Arthur jokes.
“My fair and promiscuous Lady Guinevere!” Nick shouted.
“Will thou be mineth?” Mark yelled. I groaned.“First, Arthurian Legends are probably derived from the Celtic bear god Artos, and the first accounts of Arthur was in 830 AD, way before the Middle Ages. The first account containing Guinevere was published in the eleventh century AD, still too early. Second, it would be ‘willst’, not will. English is Germanic. Third, FUCK OFF!” With a loud snap, all of our outfits turned back to normal. That was an interesting day.
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