27. Sam hurts himself
I sat with my back up against Sam’s door and my legs pulled up to my chest, my breathing was heavy and my eyes felt tight from where my tears had dried around them. I still couldn’t come to terms with what I saw in there, my friend Sam. He’s gone through so much and I knew that but he never seemed the type to intentionally inflict pain on himself, he was such a loving person. My chest grew tighter and all I wanted was to collapse in Josh his arms, but I couldn’t. Sam doesn’t want anyone knowing so I can’t tell anyone just yet, if he chooses to confide in them then that’s fine but I won’t go spreading his business, people already know too much about what’s going on.
I know I need to talk to Kyle and Morgan but what I just found out about Sam has left me very shaky and I’m frightened that I’ll stand up then promptly fall flat on my face. I slowly crawled into my hands and knees then straightened up and clung onto the side of the wall for dear life, Kyle and Morgan have separate rooms on the same floor but I know for a fact that they sneak into one another’s rooms so they will both be in the same place. I started sniffing about for where both their scents were the strongest, I could smell them both faintly from Morgan’s room but that might be from yesterday or last night ummm not even going to attempt to imagine that. I kept going until I found Kyles room and sure enough I could smell both of them and very VERY strongly. I sighed then lifted my hand and knocked gently on the door, I heard shuffling around and whispers telling the other to hide, why bother when any werewolf would hear you? Kyle suddenly opened the door looking very guilty but relaxed as soon as he saw it was me.
“Ohh...” I called over his shoulder “false alarm, it’s just Camilla” Morgan suddenly appeared and smiled when he saw me. I smiled back
“Umm Kyle can I talk to you and Morgan...about your situation” Kyle looked uncertain at first but eventually nodded and stood aside so I could go in.
Kyles room was just like Sam’s although Kyles was actually clean, I walked over to the bed and sat down waiting for them both to join me. When they did, Morgan slipped his hand into Kyles and I couldn’t help but feel a mushy and warm feeling spreading across my chest...it made me so happy seeing them so in love. It was beautiful. They both looked up at me smiling, now more comfortable that they were holding one another.
“I think you guys need to tell them, tell Josh and he’ll tell the pack quietly. I will make sure personally that, it’s not made into a big deal.”
I put my hand over my chest to show them my sincerity but they both looked very frightened. Morgan turned so he was now looking at Kyle and I knew they were discussing it through the link, Morgan stiffened at one point and Kyle let out a sigh. I do hope I haven’t caused an argument.
Kyle turned back to me
“Umm I don’t know, it’s...it’s just hard to tell people” my heart melted, I knew what he meant....I mean I don’t because I’m not gay...or lesbian. Well gay in my case would be lesbian because I’m a girl but I’m not....I mean I’m not a lesbian, not that I’m not a girl...because I am. Jeez I have problems, I’m mentally rambling! I decided I’d put it in literal terms, it might help.
“Okay, but how does it feel being able to be open with me. You two can talk as mates when I’m here because I know....don’t you feel relieved?” I pushed a bit of hair that had fallen out my bun from my face and bit gently in my lip as I saw their expressions change into slight happiness.
“It feels....good. Like a weight has been lifted” Morgan whispered, he then leant his head on Kyles shoulder and Kyle melted into his touch, I found this adorable!
“That’s how it feels to not have to hide it....relief” I say simply, they both smiled and look at one another again, they were discussing through the link once more. They sudden looked up at me and Kyle took charge.
“Yes....please tell Josh. We just....we want people to know now, we’ve been hiding for way to long.” I almost melted at his words, these two were so brave and I really would make sure that everyone would respect them. As Luna I wouldn’t have anyone making them feel bad, otherwise I would finally exercise my rights as Luna and I’m sure no one wanted that! Damn I feel so powerful!
I made a strange giggly, squeaky sound because I was so happy, they both looked at me weird and I even I was confused. I shrugged it off then lept off the bed and pounced in both of them wrapping them both in my arms. They laughed and eventually settled into my embrace, I pulled back and suddenly felt really queasy. My stomach was churning and my mouth filled up with saliva, I quickly scanned for their toilet then rushed to their bathroom just in time. I felt really bad, because I made Kyles bathroom smell like vomit, but at least I made it to the toilet!
I came back out after about 5 minutes of vomiting and found them both looking at me sympathetically, I sighed. “I’m sorry, you know morning sickness” Kyle stood up and hugged me once more.
“It’s cool Camilla, how is the little guy anyway?” He then crouched down and rubbed my belly, which only made me feel fat so I laughed and stepped away.
“Little guy? I have no idea what the sex is yet, I’ll be able to find out in a few months but my first scan is tomorrow.” They both cocked their heads to the side and made an aww sound, I don’t know how no one figured out they were gay, these too were way sensitive. I laughed then headed for the door.
“Okay, I’ll start telling Josh and it should be out in the open by the end of the day” I reassured them, they both smiled but I didn’t miss the uncertain look in their faces right before I closed the door, I sighed and leant against their door this time. I was way stressed and that wasn’t good for the baby, so I made my way back over to the lift, Josh would be awake now and I really wanted to see him.
I immediately felt alone again once Camilla left my room and couldn’t help but break down in sobs, I kept them quiet as I could smell Camilla was right outside, why was she still there? I’ve grown to like Camilla, she was a good friend and the fact that she was mated to my closest friend and Alpha, Joshua just topped it off. It felt good that she was concerned about me but pity was the last thing I needed right now, Brittany was gone and despite her being well....a bitch (ha she’s a wolf and a female so a bitch and also mean...get it? Haha I’m so funny!) towards the end I would never stop needing her, she was gone and it was my fault.
Once Camilla’s scent disappeared I threw myself onto the bed and buried myself beneath the covers, I wish I could hide here forever....I wish I could escape this mess. I would If I could, but unfortunately suicide isn’t easy for wolves....although there were ways. Until I could figure that out I would have to hold on to what scrap of sanity I had left and my sanity was my blade. I dug threw my drawers until I found my sharp escape. I held it tightly in my hand...and began to bring it closer to my flesh, but something that Camilla said stopped me. Just like her I could get over all this with no more scars...I could. I sat back on my unmade bed and let the blade slip from my shaking hand and hit my mattress, I had to try to get over Brittany, it might not be possible but I have to try. I give myself 1 month, if I’m not a little happier by February then I will end it....I’m tired of living in this black whirlpool, I can’t handle much more.
I’d woken up to an empty bed, I reached over and put my hand where Camilla was laying, the space was cold which meant shed been gone for a while. Memories of last night flooded back and I felt the smirk creep onto my face....ohhh yes last night was fun. It had been the first time in over a month me and Camilla had had sex, since Riley moved she had been a little down and I didn’t want to force her into it so I waited until she initiated something. Well last night she did.
Me, Camilla, Chase and Lilly (who I’ve really grown to like, she’s lovely and has really changed Chase. She a great girl and I’m so glad he found her) were all sitting in the downstairs lounge watching a movie, we had all the lights down and were all cuddling with our mates. Camilla and Lilly had insisted on choosing the movie, and of course me and Chase gave in, so they picked a romance thing. Typical! They both wanted to watch “Friends with Benefits”, I’d never seen it before but it had Justin Timberlake in it so it can’t be that bad, he’s a cool dude. The movie started and I was sitting with my legs apart, so Camilla came a laid In between them with her back on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on top of her head, things suddenly got amusing when the sex scene started. I leant my head back and looked over a Chase who was now looking back at me, he gave me an awkward smile and I did the same to him. The chick in this movie was hot, but nothing compared to Camilla, Camilla was like a goddess and I suddenly realized how lucky I was. I turned back towards the screen but got distracted as I felt a pair of soft, sweet lips kissing gently up my neck, Camilla was trying something? Oh well who am Ito spoil her fun? She was now straddling me so I took this opportunity to slide my hands down her back and onto her ass, she had a great ass and I heard her breathing hitch a little when I groped it gently and suddenly her lips were attached to mine. I moved my lips roughly against hers and I could tell she was as needy for me as I was for her, I licked her bottom lip asking for access which she gladly gave, this was getting heated by now and I could sense that Chase and Lilly were finding this awkward, bless I forgot they were there. I held Camilla’s waist and stood up quickly, she immediately wrapped her Legs around my waist and I ran to the elevator, the doors opened and trust me out make out session continued, up against the walls, even the mirror in there at one point. When the little bell rang telling us we were on our floor I sprinted into our room and threw her on the bed, I hovered over her and immediately attacked her mark with my tongue, she let out a breathy moan which caused me to purr. She was so damn sexy.
End of flashback……..
The door suddenly opened and Camilla came in as white as snow, her expression was grim and she looked stressed, where had she been? I jumped from the bed and immediately put my hands around her waist, ignoring the fact I was still naked.
“Baby? Are you okay?” I asked even I could hear the concern on my voice, she looked really distressed and it upset me to see her like this. She buried her head in my bare chest and mumbled, thankfully I could hear her.
“No....but yeah I guess.” I furrowed my eyebrows, that....that didn’t make sense. I look down at her.
“I’ve got to talk to you” she said and pulled me over to the bed, I grabbed my Calvin’s and slipped them back on before sitting with her. I cupped her cheek with my hand and she leant gently into it, closing her eyes.
“Does this have anything to do with why your upset?” She slowly opens her eyes and I can see the frustration in them, like she was withholding something.
She bites lip and adverts her gaze downwards.
“Not really, but I can’t tell you why I’m like this” I felt a jab at my heart when she said that, she can’t tell me? She can tell me anything. I blink a few times and try to keep my exterior strong despite how much that hurt.
“Why?” She jumped a little because my voice came out quite harsh, she bit her lip again.
“It’s not anything to do with me and I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, eventually I just I can’t tell you yet.” She lifted her hand and strokes my cheek gently with her thumb and I purred as I felt the tingles running up my cheek. I melted immediately.
“Okay. So what did you want to talk about?” She smiled grimly as she was relieved that I was changing the subject, she leaned back and then took my hand in both of her little one, her eyes were staring into mine and I immediately bored mine back into hers.
“Okay, I’ve known about this for a while and I promise I wouldn’t tell anyone until now, because they are ready for you and the rest of the pack to know.” Her voice was as smooth as velvet and her words caught my attention, okay so again she had been keeping a secret from me, I didn’t like that one bit! I shook that away and then let the curiosity take over.
“Who? What are you talking about?” I furrowed my eyebrows and pouted a little, I had no idea what she was talking about. She let out a breath the closed her eyes as if she was preparing herself.
“Morgan and Kyle....” Okay I’m still not getting it?
“Morgan and Kyle what?” My voice was wary and she was looking at me like I should be understanding what she was talking about...well she didn’t make it particularly clear?
“They’ve been mates for a year....they’re gay” she bit her lip and I felt all saliva drain from my body.
Morgan and Kyle gay what the fuck?