Chapter 21 ~ Drunk
As I stood there facing off against the man attempting to rip my life and my future away, I felt his presence. He was here to protect me, despite my leaving him, he was still willing to risk his life for mine. Dimitri’s words had been playing over and over again in my head and the guilt had started to set in.
Yes, he was most definitely in the wrong and should never have laid a hand on me but I was in the wrong too and my actions had driven him to that. It was different for Werewolves, I mean they were, in fact, half man and half beast and when you feel rejected and unloved you tend to do crazy, stupid and irrational things, but his was worse, he held within him an Alpha, meant to rule, be respected and bowed too, not to be pushed away.
I had been telling him all along how I felt but in truth, because it wasn’t specifically the words, ‘I love you’ he couldn’t hear it. Wow, our communication really was shockingly terrible. Maybe we should stop fucking and work on that? Ah, who am I kidding? Fucking him was far too amazing to give up.
“Uh – Ah mother you should know better… after all, living with you assholes always taught me to have a contingency plan. Though I clearly see you are enjoying Dimitri’s blood, I can also see it’s hard for you to control, weak and pathetic, the lot of you.” How dare they? I bet that useless smug bastard, Gage, drank it too, although his movements remained stable and controlled, I dare not trust him and his cocky behaviour. The wolves were not my original contingency plan but they didn’t need to know that, seeing the fear and confusion across their faces was enough pleasure for me to run with.
Myka, Nova, Blaire and Rick made it safely back, knowing Myka he would have signalled me if he failed but he returned with no problems. Taking my parents supply of Dimitri’s blood was important, it meant that they were weaker and easier to combat during battle. The last thing we needed was super crazed out lunatics running around mistaking humans for Vampires and murdering the wrong species.
I mounted my bike and headed back to the manor, the unit’s orders were to destroy all vials, not only did humans not need to drink the blood, but I also didn’t need it around his coven enticing them further.
It had taken longer than I expected for Dimitri’s blood to replenish within his body but I was glad he was healing. I still felt guilty, I could never admit to his face that I once cared for him, until the ‘friendship love’ I had for him no longer existed. Pretty messed up.
When we were together we were happy, sure, but the moment he turned everything changed, not just his but mine too. I swore to protect him at all costs and I would see through on my promise until my very last breath, his transformation was my fault, I owed it to him. He didn’t need to know the night he was turned I was breaking up with him... because I did anyway, it just made things easier for me.
William and Steven headed back to the reserve where Ulric was, I was thankful Will informed him of our plans but my heart ached. I had made a deal, every second night I was to return but I was still undecided if I could see it through. I missed him, his laugh, his eyes, his smile - god, his smile could steal the very air from my lungs. Myka’s team had set off to finish their job in disposing of the vials and I trudged through the manor doors and straight into Dimitri’s study.
“Drrrink?” He offered.
“That good, huh?”
“You have no idea.” I threw my legs over the arm of the chair and slumped back with my eyes shut.
“Humour me?” He replied, handing me a glass.
“Well, Gage is here and I gave him the choice, he chose death, so now, I’m waiting for his reply of… my soil or his.” I retorted back sarcastically.
“So we fight?”
“It looks that way.” I throw back the glass, downing the dark amber liquid, quickly feeling the burn run down my throat.
“Please.” I was thankful he was there.
Claire had taken over the organising of the unit and their place within the manor, you could still feel the massive uneasiness and fear that surrounded them being here. Dimitri had mentioned a few times, how the Vamps had to lock themselves away due to the blood calling them to bite, I felt terrible, everyone was put in this position because of me. So far, I wasn’t very good at being a high commander.
I needed Intel on Gage and his movements. Tonight Val, Norman, Lola and Remi were on compound watch, I had no doubt Ulric and Alpha Leon would have ordered the same, so I requested them to mention my name the moment they saw the wolves, so there would be no trouble.
It was a risky plan but it was the only one I had at the moment, so we went with it, to keep his coven safe. For some reason, I thought getting drunk would take the edge off the last couple of days and boy was the edge taken off. The darkness began to rise outside as Claire, Dimitri and I got drunker and drunker. We began to sing so loud, we had bangs on the office door, telling us to ‘shut up.’ Dim had taken up the need to chair surf, as usual, I found the iPod dock and blasted the music but because of the liquid, I could barely stand but I continued none the less.
Claire got a fantastic idea to convince Nova to drive us to Roland and Ulric. Thank god, Dim was so drunk he began hooking up with one of the new additions to the coven, Wyla. She was gorgeous and I was happy for him but his distraction meant we could sneak away guilt free.
Walking as quietly as possible, we opened the front door, crashing onto the floor, giggling our asses off.
“Shhhhhh Wyder,” Claire hiccupped before being pulled up by Nova. “Wyder, have yyyooouuuu met my sister? Isn’t she just beeeeaaauuutttiiiiffffuuullll?”
“Get in the car you drunk floozies,” Nova giggled.
“I LLLLOOOOVVVEEEE that word,” I squealed, “Ca-lay, let’s be floozies.”
“Wyder, I don’t know what a foozie is?”
“I… don’t… know… either.” I shook my head slowly from side to side, shrugging my shoulders with every word. Realising quickly, I should not do that because it makes me dizzy and my stomach turn.
Claire and I sat our perfectly ‘sober’ selves in the back seat singing away. Moves like Jagger by Maroon 5, came out repetitively, then somehow it morphed into, Low by Flo Rida, before ending up at, Baby got back by Sir Mix-A-Lot. We sounded so freaken amazing that it was time to start our own band and take on the world as a duo. Nova was going to be our manager slash costume designer and we were going to dye our hair purple and blue, our favourite colours. It was one of those million dollars, brilliant idea’s, that we really should have recorded so we didn’t forget.
“Why… I need a drink.” Claire stated.
“I have a drrrrink,” I replied enthusiastically.
“You do?” She sat straight up excitedly.
“I do… hold this.” I looked at her with wide eyes.
“Why… you didn’t hand me nofink,” she slurred.
“Yes, just hold it, it’s magical.”
“No way,” she squealed, wow, there was a lot of squealing going on tonight.
“Here.” I thrust a bottle of ‘under the seat’ whiskey, in her hand.
“Oh my god, you are fucken amazing!” She exacerbated.
“Ca-lay, you are the most amaaazzziiiinnngggg-ist ever.”
We began our assault on the amber liquid. “Why do you have this?” she questioned.
“Not just that...” I leaned forward and pulled out three other bottles, “I have some Vodka, wine and bourbon.”
“Should I be wo…worried?” Claire ran out of breath mid-word.
“No, they are for emergencies,” I explained, “In case we get hurted and need to take the edge off.” She understood perfectly, I was a very convincing drinker.
“Ahhhhh.” She replied swigging back the bottle.
“We’re here,” Nova chimed out happily from the driver’s seat.
“Oh my god Nova, yyyyyooooouuuuu have the voice of an angel, you should be in our band,” my idea was pure genius.
“That’s a great idea, you can call it, The Floozies,” she deadpanned.
“Floozies, foozies, footzies, footzers,” we sang out as two drop-dead gorgeous men arrived at our car door.
“Are they drunk?” A deep husky voice enquired sending shivers through my body.
“Drunk? No… They are absolutely shit faced.” Nova replied.
“And floozies,” we sang out again, leaning against each other giggling in the back. In all aspect, tonight had turned out very well and I was feeling happy and carefree.
“Hammered Claire thought it would be a great idea to see you both,” Nova laughed.
“Well, I should thank hammered Claire,” the sexy man with the light brown eyes chuckled.
The steel grey-eyed man leaned in and collected Clay while she whined about leaving me. “C’mon cutie, let’s get you home.”
“Bye, bye, Wyder.” She waved from over his shoulder.
“Ca-lay… whereeee you going?” I cried out, why were they separating us?
“Enjoy, that one hides booze under her driver’s seat.”
“HUH!” I snorted at Nova pointing my finger, “yyyyooouuuu told a secret, you can’t be in our band now.” I slurred as Ulric held me in front of him.
“Let’s go, Rocky,” he threw me up over his shoulder.
“I love when he calls me that,” I sighed.
“When who calls you that?”
“Ulric,” I let out a high pitched reply, “but sssshhhhh, don’t tell him.”
He laughed with me on his shoulder, “okay, I won’t say a thing, but why won’t you tell him?”
“Because I’m mad at him.”
“And why are you mad?”
“He scared me, did you know I cried? I thought I couldn’t cry, that I was broken.” He flopped me onto the bed, “oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to fall on you.” I apologised to the mattress, I hope he forgives me?
“Why did you think you couldn’t cry?”
“Because the only times I have cried, was when my soul was crushed beyond repair.” He removed my boots and I slid out of my pants as he helped remove my jacket.
“Rocky, I’m so goddam sorry for what I did to you. I’m dying inside knowing how I hurt you,” his eyes showed despair and anguish.
I sat up and cupped his face, “you’re so beautiful, and I know.” I leaned in to capture his lips, I could feel the anxiety push through and rise up from the pit of my stomach, my mouth watered as well as my eyes, opening and leaning closer… Blerg… I vomited over the front of him.
He grabbed a towel from the back of the bathroom door. Before he even sorted himself out, he brushed my teeth, showered me and cleaned up everything else, eventually tucking me in snuggly. Thank god, I didn’t get any on his bed. With my world spinning, he finally cleaned himself and slid in next to me, wrapping his muscular arms under my head and around my body pulling me in.
“Ulric?” I whispered without opening my eyes.
“Yes,” he said kissing my forehead.
“I’m sorry I can’t say ‘I love you’. I feel it, I do. I’m so in love with you, I’m so in love with you it hurts, but I can’t say it, I can’t lose you like I did them - all because I loved them.”
The sun was a punishment from hell as I stirred awake groaning. My mouth was dry and in desperate need of relief. My head thumped relentlessly at my temples and behind my eyes, I attempted to bury my head under the soft pillows but they kept disappearing.
“Fuck off,” I groaned.
“No,” I recognized that voice immediately and shot up, crumbling straight after at the painful and seedy motion I just made.
“Argh, what am I doing here?”
“Nova brought you by, said you and Claire needed to see us.”
“Really?” I questioned cracking open one eye.
“Yes,” his intense light browns watched me in amusement. “I brought you breakfast… and painkillers.”
“Oh my god, thank you,” I croaked out, accepting the items.
“What got you so drunk?” he queried.
“You, Gage, Dimitri and my parents.” I groaned while shovelling bacon and eggs down.
“I meant what I said last night Ryder, I’m so goddam sorry,” he pleaded for understanding as he sat next to me.
“Stop Ul, please...” I moved the plate to the bedside table. “I know you’re sorry and I know you didn’t mean it, I’m sorry too, I should never have slapped you like that. I can feel how sad your heart is, but I can’t just forgive you like that and you shouldn’t just forgive me. We need to earn each other’s trust and showing up yesterday was a great start in the right direction,” I replied sincerely.
“I couldn’t leave you unprotected against those beasts,” I smiled, he looked so desperate, so sad and let’s face it, so was I. All I wanted was our relationship back and today, while I was feeling so seedy, I was in need of Ulric’s cuddles.
I tucked myself under his arm and finished off the rest of my breakfast while he switched on the movies. I tenderly watched him from the corner of my eye while he doted on me in bed. We had made a mistake, one I wish neither of us to repeat but if Dimitri was right then he needed my reassurance and affection. His wolf needed to feel loved not rejected and even though I couldn’t say the words he so desperately wanted to hear, I could show him. I could be that driving force in his life, to lift him up and make him feel wanted and important because he was. To me, he was, is and always will be, the only one.
“Do you know what you said last night Rocky?” He eyed me inquisitively.
“No, I can’t remember anything passed the manor,” I looked up at him as he furrowed his brows.
“You said… I guess… You said you were a floozy.” He laughed, all though I got the distinct feeling that was not at all what he was going to say.
“I did?” Hiding my face in my hands groaning. “What else did I say?”
“You apologised to the mattress,” he chuckled. “Oh, and you snore when you’re drunk.”
“Oh my god,” I could just die of embarrassment, I buried my bright red face into his ribs.
“You also said you loved my nickname for you and to not, and I quote, ‘tell Ulric’ that you had said anything.”
“Stop,” I whined. “There’s probably a good reason why I can’t remember, let’s just never talk about it again?”
“Please don’t leave me, Ryder. I can’t live without you,” his face displayed confliction like he was holding back.
“Ulric, I can’t just move back in and carry on like nothing happened... but I’m willing to try, okay? So let’s just enjoy this moment cuddling, you and I are mates, stuck together forever. There’s nowhere I can go that you won’t find me or I won’t come back to you from, I belong to you and you belong to me.”