I bounced my leg up and down, a nervous habit of mine, I clench my hand that rested on top of my knee before biting my lip. My eyes sweep over the clinic waiting room, a few women waiting as well and occupying myself. My thoughts then drifted back to the man, he was oddly familiar to but I couldn’t put my finger on it and without intention, I raise my hand to cup the fading my thumb brushing along them. I creased my eyebrows in thought as one sentence he spoke stood out the most.
’You’re in danger.’ he had said.
’But from what?’ I thought, the same moment my name was called.
I snap my head up from looking down in my lap to see a lady in a white shirt and pink loose pants standing by the door that was in the far front of the room. A clip board in her hands, she raises her head just as I rose to my feet shakily.
“Kaitlyn?” she asks, raising a brow.
I nod, “Y-yeah that’s me.” I say as I reach her, my fingers locked together tightly to keep them from shaking.
She gives me a gentle smile, beckoning me forward and through the door. Placing a hand on my shoulder, she guides me down a small hallway and to a open door. I look around the white room, one side has a sink and cabinets around it while on the other there’s a high stand mini bed with paper on it. A typical doctor’s office.
“You can sit over there and the Doctor will be with you shortly.” Nurse Tammy says, then backs out the room and closing the door behind her.
I’m left in silence and my own thoughts. A couple minutes later the door is open and walked in a brunette in all white clothes, upon seeing me she throws a smile my way while taking the clipboard from the edge of the bed.
“So Kaitlyn Monroe, I see you’re here for an. . abortion.” she states, taking a sit on a stool beside the bed.
I lick my lips, my legs shaking. “Yes.”
She glances up, “It’s okay to be nervous, is this your first time?”
I look off to the side, while twiddling my fingers, “Well this is my first time getting pregnant, so. .” I trail off, shrugging.
She chuckles, “Well, I’m Doctor White, and if you don’t mind me asking but when did you find out you were carrying?” she asks.
“Two weeks ago,” I tell her. “Do, uh, Do I need to have something—”
“Oh no no!” Doctor White cuts in, “Any suctioning involved is only when you’re fifteen weeks pregnant.”
I mutter an ‘oh’ and walk as she gets up and heads over toward a cabinet then begins digging inside where bottles stood, with an ‘aha’ she pulls out a blue and white box and then makes her way back over to me.
“Since you’re still early in the pregnancy, you’ll have to take a pill. Which is this.” she held up the box, cooking her head to the side her brown hair following the movement.
Doctor White moved her stool closer to me, and sat down, before opening the box then pulling out a white bottle.
“You’ll take one of these once you get home,” she tells me, “but if you want you can take one now?”
“No, thank you. I’m fine.” I say, rubbing at my wrist.
She gives me a soft smile before nodding, “Once you take this pill you’ll be experiencing cramps and a lot of bleeding.”
I bob my head up and down, running both of my hands through my hair that ended at my lower back. “So it’s like having my period?” I utter.
“Exactly like your period but with more blood.”
I bite my lip. “Okay.”
Handing me the box, I rotate it in my hands, my heart pumping in my chest. I didn’t know what to say or think, I actually couldn’t believe I was about to kill this baby. The sound of scribbling on paper drifted into my ears and I look to see Doctor White writing something down on the corner of one of the papers that were on the clipboard.
“If you are concerned about anything or if you have a question about something, don’t hesitate to call this number,” she informs me, ripping the paper and then holding it out to me.
I grab it between my fingers, with a nod of my head, I stand up and brush my hand down my jeans before making my way to the open door and outward with Doctor following behind.
“Everything will be fine,” she says, trying to reassuring me after we make it back to the waiting area.
“I hope so,” I comment, turning and giving her a smile. “Thanks for today.”
She waves a hand dismissively. “It’s fine, have a nice day.”
With one final wave, I stride over to the exit door, the box held tightly in my hand. And without a second thought, the minute I made it outside, I tossed the box and paper into the trash that sat by the door of the building; not one ounce of regret in me.
My quite steps were the only sound that echoed in my ears as I walked casualty along the sidewalk, one street down from my house. The soft breeze brushed against the exposed skin and ruffling lightly through my hair.
At this moment I felt content, I felt as if I made the right decision, one of my hands slipped downward and glided over my belly. I know I’m going to become the best mother I can be to this child. Couple of minutes later, I arrive at my doorstep, reaching into my back pocket for my key. In that exact moment I felt a hand roughly grab my wrist, spinning me around and pushing me against the door.
My wide eyes connect with hazel eyes.
“You Kaitlyn Monroe?” the girl before me asked, her blonde hair blowing in her eyes.
Goosebumps rose on my arms, while fear began to course through me.
“U-um, y-yes.” I stammer, “Who’s a-asking?”
She ignored my last statement and turned her head around and nodding over at something, I shifted my eyes and gazed over her shoulder to see a boy— no younger than me— walk over to the both of us.
“This her?” he asked, his eyes focused on the girl hovering over me.
“Yeah,” she nodded, “give me a hand.”
And before I knew it I was being pushed violently to the boy as he caught me by the forearms and began dragging me back down the steps to where a black sleek Ford awaited, instant recollection zapped through me.
“Wait! Where are you taking me!?” I protested, struggling in his hold. “Let me go!”
I twist, turn, and buck against the boy as he hands tighten on my arms, he then turns and starts backing up, my slides scuffing against the ground. The girl still stood on my porch, her brown skin glowing in the sun sets light.
“Let me go! Help! Please!” I scream, “Stop it!”
We near the car, my moves become frantic. “Abel shut her up!” the girl yells out and the same time the door to my house swung open and out comes an alarmed looking Delano.
His eyes shift toward the girl and his face forms into one of anger as they began to speak in tongue. Tears burn behind my eyes, when the boy stuffs his hand in his back pocket and pulls out a white cloth.
I scream, turning my head away, “Please!! I’m pregnant!”
He then pressed the cloth over my nose and mouth, grunting with effort. I made the mistake of inhaling as a sweet-tany scent fills my nostrils, my moving arms become sluggish and my legs drop like lead taking my weight with them. I’m softly lowered to the ground, my eyes now half lidded, the red orange sky in my line of vision and the cloth still pressed over my face.
A set of baby blue eyes were the last thing I saw before my eyes slid close, my mind going blank.